Chapter 44 - The Ticking Clock

Hushed voices from her audience broke into the intense silence which had followed her bold declaration after a few of unnerving seconds. Estella casted a brief glance at Ciel and Sebastian before turning to the front nervously.

She felt her throat tighten at the thought of revealing her darkest secret. A wisp of doubt and fear creeping into her mind once again as she imagined the consequences that might come after. What if she–

"No."

Valeria's voice suddenly popped in. "Stop hesitating already! Go all the way, there is no point pondering over this stupid thing again. No more dragging this out, you moron, what is the point?"

Thinking about what Valeria had said, Estella sighed in resignation. "You're right. No more!" Her shoulders squared and she felt her resolve strengthen.

Estella set her determined gaze upon her audience and spoke again, loud and bold enough to draw back their attentions.

"Before you make any decisions, I have one more thing I would like to reveal about myself!" She reduced her volume when she was sure she had their attentions. "This information I'm about to reveal is going to be shocking and may result in your distrust towards me but I swear to you, I am certainly on your side and no chance in hell on SIGMA's!"

When Estella looked behind for a brief seeking of support particularly from Ciel, she was surprised to find herself already held by the intense gaze he had on her.

She could read it all on his face – are you sure about this?

His concern, anxiety and a sort of resolve were hard to miss in that intensity as well.

Was she sure?

She wasn't sure but she was going to take Valeria's advice.

Estella held his gaze with the same intensity, returning her answer with a nod. While she held back no reservation against revealing her secret, she couldn't quell the nervous flutterings in her stomach.

She cleared her throat.

"As I'd said, SIGMA had experimented on me and I'm sure you are aware what kind of project they're working on." Estella said grudgingly, "Project Nemesis involves a blood fusion between a human's and a demon or an angel. Not too long ago, they have prided themselves on their first successful blood fusion experiment between a demon's and human's. They made the specimen close enough for it be the world's first demon-human hybrid."

"And that specimen happens to be right here…" She breathed in sharply. "Me."

Like she had predicted, gasps emitted from her audience. She could almost feel panic filling the room. And some were about to stand up and protest, especially the same bearded burly man from earlier.

"So are you saying y-you're a demon as well?" Apparently someone was faster than that burly man. "A h-hybrid?"

"Well yes and no," Estella explained calmly, "I'm human but at the same time there's a demon within me." She mulled for a moment, "Actually the better word to describe me in my scenario is that I'm a host-"

An abrupt loud slam from the other side of the room made her jump.

Estella turned her head and realized it was the burly man. His face held a mask of incredulity as he rose from his seat and jabbed an accusing finger at her. "She is…Or should I say it is a monster!" The man turned around to face the Queen and bowed at his waist before speaking. "Your Majesty, I suggest we lock it up. Along with Earl Phantomhive and his demon!"

Estella's jaws dropped at his words. She sensed more than saw Ciel step up beside her, for her eyes were fixed on the man. Completely shocked by his words.

"We can't have them running amok in our country!"

The moment the man finished his point, the whole hall broke into chatter once more.

She could feel Ciel tensing up beside her.

Her eyes darted nervously between the man and the Queen, her lips were pursed to stop their trembling and her palms were getting sweaty. What was going to happen? Was the Queen going to…Her eyes went over to the Queen, her gaze almost pleading.

She then swept a glance to Ciel beside her, dimly noticing how his jaws were clenched and the jump of the muscle there when he did that. If the Queen were to agree with the man and….oh no, this would be all her fault! A pang of guilt hit her as she made a brief glance at Sebastian behind them. I've to fight for him and Sebastian at least! I can't drag them down with me!

Estella turned back to the front, shoulders squared.

"Your Majesty!" The chatters reduced into hushes at that, all curious and wary eyes locked on her. "As I'd said earlier, I'm no enemy of this nation. My loyalty is with the nation!"

Her face darkened as she briefly pondered over something unpleasant before speaking again, "But I understand if you see the need to lock me up, since I am afterall a weapon created by SIGMA. It's understandable to be cautious and wary of me."

Estella gulped carefully. "However, please leave Earl Phantomhive and Sebastian out of this!" Feeling his heart skip a beat at that, Ciel swung his gaze over to Estella, visible eye wide and alarmed. "They've got nothing to do with SIGMA!"

A perplexed furrow appeared on Ciel's forehead. "Blancbaston…"

With a condescending look, the burly man snorted with derision. "And you expect us to believe that?"

A spark of irritation shot through Estella.

"Sit down, Commander," Estella turned her gaze to the Queen who was peering down at the man with a firm, piercing look. She couldn't quite tell what she saw was true but The Queen looked almost…annoyed to her despite her calm, smiling face. "No more interruptions from you or you may leave the room."

Estella darted her eyes over to the man.

"B-But Your Majesty…"

She nearly smirked when she saw at the flustered look on his face. The man looked torn for a while before sitting back down, but not without throwing a nasty glare at her. She almost wanted to throw a smug smirk. Almost.

Estella peered up at the Queen with a silent, meaningful gaze – thank you.

The Queen nodded lightly and proceeded to speak, "Earl Phantomhive may be young but I trust his judgement. So if he believes that this girl is a great asset for us to defeat SIGMA, then so will I."

Estella's eyes sprang wide and her lips lifted into a smile. She could feel the suffocating tension in the area they stood lessening significantly at the Queen's reassuring words.

Her powerful yet gentle gaze swept the room and finally landed on them, especially focused on Estella. "Afterall, we need all the help we can get against an organization such as this. They have weapons greater than guns and tanks or any machineries we possess. Much less the soldiers under you, Commander."

The said burly man was going to protest but fell silent in the end when he realized he couldn't argue against that fact.

"Estella Blancbaston," Estella jolted into attention when the Queen suddenly zeroed her focus on her with a purposeful gleam in her eyes. "Will you, as you had mentioned earlier, be willing to assist Great Britain in this fight against SIGMA?"

Feeling a thrill of exhilaration run through her, her eyes lit up for a moment before steeling with a look of resolve.

"Y-Yes, Your Majesty," Estella felt her heart soar. "Yes, with all sincerity and resolve in me, I will assist Great Britain in this fight!" She saluted the smiling Queen with a grin.

….

Standing by the window, Estella stared out at the calm night sky. After the meeting at the Buckingham Palace, she returned to 'The Golden Thread' for the last time. To pack up her things and to bid the Carlisle siblings farewell.

Her heart still felt heavy.

She hadn't expected that she would be leaving the little store she had called home for a year so soon. It was only a year, but it wasn't easy to leave. They had been like her family – Abigail was like her older sister. Evan and Benjamin were like her annoying brothers.

Drawing the drapes close, Estella made a silent promise to herself that she would visit them whenever she could and walked away from the window. She dived onto her bed and rolled over onto her back to look at the ceiling with a frown, still feeling strange to be living in the manor once again.

From the meeting back at the palace, she had learnt that SIGMA was now located in the Trancy Manor and that the next attack on them was going to commence in a weeks' time. Seven days to prepare herself to face them.

Finally, it was time to move forward.

….

Estella paced down the hall with a pensive face. Ever since she had woken up, she could think of nothing but the great battle that laid ahead. Another four days, she thought with a sigh. Anxiety and anticipation ran through her everytime she thought of it. And she would usually end up wondering,

What was going to happen?

How would it end?

And one that would always send a chill down her spine – would they survive? She couldn't bear to think any further after that because she would always end up imagining the cold, dead looks on people especially a certain- Damn it, why the hell was she thinking about that again?

Estella shook her head, trying to drive away all those depressing thoughts as she slowed down before the study which she knew Ciel would be in. Her gaze fell onto the door as she reminded herself of the little promise she had made three days ago. That she would spend as much time as she could with Ciel and possibly everyone else in this manor before it all begun.

Breathing in deeply, she raised a hand to the door.

"Morning."

Feeling her heart skip a beat at that, she spun around to find herself face-to-face with Ciel.

Eye lingering on her hand which was hovering near the door, Ciel drew his gaze back to her face and felt memories of his nightmare rushing back to him. Usually, he would already have forgotten his dreams by now but for this particular one stayed.

It was still so vivid in his mind.

He had dreamt of her death – she was lying on the snowy ground. Her ice blue eyes looked icier than ever with the blank, lifeless look in them. Her fiery, red hair lost their passion, looking dull against the cold, white snow. The horror and fear he had experienced in his dream were so gripping that he found tears running down his cheeks when he woke up.

Jaw clenching in silent frustration, Ciel gazed down at her with a sense of foreboding.

Lowering her hand, Estella looked at him with a worried look when she saw anguish flash across his features. "Hey, what's with that face?" She asked softly, eyes searching his face.

Ciel stared at her for a brief moment and closed his eye with a heavy sigh. "Nothing." He looked away with a scowl. Was his dream a warning?

His eyebrows shot up in surprise when he felt a pair of warm hands cup his face and firmly turned his head. "What?" Ciel flinched when he found her glaring up at him with a disapproving look, his eyebrows rising even higher.

"That face certainly did not look like nothing, Ciel Phantomhive." Estella scoffed irritably and let out a sigh. "Come on, why don't you tell me? Hmm?" She stepped back, letting her arms fall to the side as she tilted her head expectantly at him.

Letting a sigh of his own, Ciel stared at the girl apprehensively. "I was…"

Estella felt a blush coming her way at the way he was staring at her but forced it down, training her eyes on the boy. "You were…?" She prompted with a nod. She watched him avert his gaze. "What is it…?"

"Come a little closer." Ciel suddenly said, looking at her again.

Frowning questioningly at him, she took a step forward. "…Okay?" She looked up at him expectantly.

"Even closer. You're still too far." She swore she saw a flicker of mischief in his visible eye. What was he up to?

Biting her lower lip, she took another step forward. "Is this close enough?"

What an understatement, she thought wryly about her question as she noted that they were already practically chest-to-chest. She could feel his body heat and see his long eyelashes clearly with him gazing down at her as if he thought this was something amusing.

"Close your eyes."

She widened her eyes in surprise at his words and felt her heart do a somersault. "W-Why the hell…?"

Ciel merely gave her a raised eyebrow.

"O-Okay."

She closed her eyes. Was he going to…? She felt her heart race as she waited in anticipation. Then she felt something soft and warm pressed lightly against her lips. Before she could even do anything about that, the warmth disappeared.

Huh?

She slowly opened her eyes, about to question the boy but before they could fully open, something hit her in the centre of her forehead. "Ouch!" Her hand flew to the pain on her head. Opening her eyes, she quickly realized that he had just flicked her forehead and glared at him reproachingly. "Hey, why in the world did you do that for?"

"Just felt like it." Ciel smirked at her before brushing past her. Pushing the door to the study open, Ciel looked over his shoulder at her with an amused smirk. "Oh yeah, make me tea. White Darjeeling would do."

Blinking at him, an incredulous scowl took form on Estella's face. "Oh come here, you…" She growled.

"No, you will come to me." The smirk on Ciel's face widened. "But of course, with my tea."

With that, he entered his study and closed the door behind him.

Estella stared at the door, jaws hanging open. Unbelievable.

….

Behind the door, Ciel let the smirk on his face slip away and heaved a sigh. The sense of forbidding was still heavy in his chest and he just couldn't seem to get those images out of his head. Letting another sigh out, Ciel leaned his head back on the door and stared up at the ceiling with a pained frown.

What should he do?

Was he taking a dream too seriously?

Was it wrong to let her join them afterall?

Ciel raked a hand through his hair in frustration and pushed himself off the door, making his way to his desk. Mouth tightened, he sat down heavily on his chair.

….

A sigh escaped her mouth as she stood before the door of the study once again. This time, with a serving tray holding his cup of White Darjeeling tea balanced on her hand. Raising her free hand, Estella knocked on the door.

"Come in." His voice drifted from the other side of the door seconds later.

Estella rolled her eyes and pushed the door open, "You know, you can't really order me around now-"She raised her eyes to the front to find no one behind the desk. Oh well…better put this cup down first. Shrugging to herself, she made her way to the desk and set the cup down.

Now, where is he? Her eyes absentmindedly flickered to the paperwork scattered across the desk and noticed a pen was left uncapped on them. It looked like he had left in the midst of a paperwork with the intention to return to it very soon.

Estella raised her gaze to the empty chair behind the desk with a thoughtful look. With a shrug, she was about to turn away when a voice interrupted. "What were you saying about ordering something around?"

Eyebrows shooting up in surprise, she jolted to the warmth pressing against her back and glanced over her shoulder, realizing with a skip of a heartbeat that it was Ciel.

His face was only a few inches away from hers but his gaze was focused on the front. It took her a few seconds to realize that he had caged her between him and the desk with his body partly pressed against her, his right hand reached around her to place a book on the desk and his left hand planted on the desk on her other side for support.

"W-What the h-hell are you doing?" She stared at Ciel in bewilderment as he nonchalantly picked up the tea she just placed down on his desk and drank it down.

She felt herself growing warm at their close proximity and couldn't help but felt a tinge of annoyance at how casual he was about it. She glanced down at the hand resting on her waist with a blush.

It was so strange to see him so forward with her.

Ever since they had learnt about the massive attack that was imminent, she had always found herself pulled into hugs and surprised by kisses.

It was not that she didn't like them but…it was so unlike him. She had caught the glimpses of grim, worried looks when he thought she wasn't looking so she had suspected that he was just as anxious about the upcoming attack as her.

Realizing he wasn't paying attention to her, Estella let out a silent sigh as she watched him finish his tea with impatience.

"Thanks for the tea. I was thirsty." Ciel placed the cup down with a satisfied sigh and glanced over at her. "So what were you saying about ordering something around?" He asked innocently, still not making a move to step away.

Estella tried not to think about how his lips had brushed against her temple when he turned to her and answered with a weak glare. "I will only tell you after you take two big steps away from me, mister."

After that moment they were on the balcony, he had grown fond of teasing her. The faces and reactions she made were amusing and strangely addicting. He couldn't quite hold himself back around her and he wasn't sure whether he liked the fact that this was a new hobby of his.

But he somehow knew there was more than this reason why he'd been so…affectionate to her – it had something to do with the bleakness of their situation. Namely, the uncertainty that the upcoming battle brought about and his contract with Sebastian.

Ciel eyed her for a while and heaved a sigh. "Alright, no more fooling around. I'm getting ridiculous, huh." He stepped back with a sigh.

Seriousness hardened Ciel's expression as he gazed at her intently.

"Err, what?" Estella stiffened when she turned around and found herself under his intense gaze, blinking at his sudden change of mood. "Why are you staring-"

"I don't think you participating in the attack is a good idea."

Estella's expression turned incredulous. "What?"

"You heard me," The gaze in his eye was hard and decisive. "You will staying here on that day."

She felt her heart sink at his words. "How dare you!" Estella felt a wave of anger at his words. "This is not your decision to make. It's mine! And I will go."

"No."

"What…What's with you out of sudden?" Estella looked at him with disbelief.

"I…"

She watched him avert his gaze away with a grim look. "I…had a dream. You died." He turned back to her sharply. "But of course, it's not that I'm someone who would be foolish enough to believe in dreams. This just doesn't feel right to me."

Estella crossed her arms in frustration. "Well, it doesn't feel right to be excluded like this. Don't be unreasonable, Ciel, I have the right to do this." Her stubborn gaze softened slightly as she stepped forward and cupped his face. Her determined eyes stared right into his. "I know you're just worried about me. But you've got to trust me. Believe that I will survive."

"But…"

She shook her head vehemently. "I've survived the hell they'd given me and escaped. Now it's finally my chance to turn around and fight back." She held his gaze with a firm look. "This attack would mean a lot to me. Out of all people here, you understand this the best. This is more than a silly revenge. This is something one can't just turn away from."

Silence fell upon them.

"Yes, I know." Ciel finally said, closing his eye with a heavy sigh.

A small smile appeared on Estella's lips as she took in his answer with a sigh of her own. "That's why I have to go. Don't worry about me…Valeria will keep me safe. I know she will."

Ciel raised an eyebrow at her statement. "How can you be so sure?"

Estella mulled over a reply for a brief moment and raised her eyes to him again when she found the answer. "She may be a demon, but she isn't exactly…bad." She explained with a thoughtful look. "I trust her enough."

"Idiot." Ciel murmured under his breath.

Her eyes narrowed at him. "What was that?" She crossed her arms.

"Trusting so easily is foolish, stupid." Ciel shot her an incredulous look and sighed aloud. "But fine, I think I can trust your words about that demon inside you. Seriously stupid though."

Estella ignored the 'stupid' in his comment. "So we're sticking to the plan, okay?"

Ciel's face fell. "Do what you want." He flicked her forehead with a warning glare, earning him a yelp from her. "Just make sure that I won't regret allowing this."

"No, you won't," Estella glowered at him, still holding a hand to her forehead. "And stop making this a habit! It hurts, you asshole!" She spun around angrily and was about to start stomping out of the study when she felt herself jerked back by a hand around her arm.

"Mmph…!" She was instantly met with a kiss when he spun her around. Before she could process whatever was happening, Ciel released her with an amused look on his face.

Feeling a blush work its way up her cheeks, Estella looked at the boy with a blinking incredulous stare. "W-What was that for?" She spluttered in bewilderment.

Ciel still looked amused. "What, I need a reason for this?"

He felt another hum of amusement when he saw her grow redder at his words. A smirk made its way across his face. "Feel free to think of it as a…" He pondered for a short moment,"…compensation."

"Seriously…" Still fuming, Estella rolled her eyes at the sight of his smirk and stalked toward the door. "Quit teasing me already, asshole!"

Letting out a weak, humorless laugh, the smirk on Ciel's face fell.

This is bad…

His gaze on her was soft and remorseful.

Looks like I've really fallen in love with her.

Watching her disappear behind the door with a wry smile, Ciel felt his heart clench painfully.