I'm sorry guys. If it makes you feel better, a week ago I was trampled by a horse. After I fell off him. Gorgeous George is fine. I'm not. Your revenge has been paid in my broken nose, concussion, whiplash, various horse shoe shaped bruises, numerous grazes and lacerations. I went all for it. ;)

After making it into the kitchen, Jim wasn't sure what to do. He knew this discussion had to take place but, he really didn't want to. If Spock would just bring it up on his own that would be really great right about now. He was a telepath right? Shouldn't he already know what Jim needed? Shouldn't their bond, link thing give away everything swirling around in his head?

"James, are you alright?" Spock asked walking closer. Although his face and tone gave away nothing, concern radiated from his being. It was a confusing polarity which Jim realised with a start, belonged to every Vulcan.

"I- We need to talk." Jim shuffled into the lounge and lowered himself onto the couch. He sunk into the familiar cushions, trying to organise his thoughts.

"I have observed, on seven occasions, that the party invited for such conversation leaves in a state of emotional distress." Spock crooked his head to the side. It was a rather new habit, no doubt a concession to the emotional species they were surrounded by at Starfleet. An unexpected surge of affection took Jim by surprise. It was just like Spock to make adaptations to his behaviour for the comfort of others. It was a shame others didn't understand how much he did for them.

"I, no I'm not breaking up with you or whatever. I just, I need to know more about all..." Jim waved between them, huffing in frustration. "...this."

He grabbed the striped pillow from beside him and Spock sat down in the freed space. Jim absently noted to tell his mother to let up on the throw pillows. She's probably just sigh and say something about needing lots of soft things to baby proof the place.

"We are t'hy'la. It is an ancient warrior bond. A link between two katras so similar they are said to be one and the same." Spock explained.

"Soulmates?" Jim whispered. Did they even exist? He and Spock weren't perfect. They didn't agree on everything. They disagreed more often then anyone would guess. They'd clashed often enough growing up that Jim had been sure he hated Spock. But then, at their cores they were similar. They had similar interests. Similar philosophies. Similar thoughts on society. It was just their expression which differed. Spock didn't value logic above all else. He valued life and exploration and science and family. He just chose to act in a logical way about it. Jim was the emotional one. That's how they worked. It was all balance.

"I believe that it the closest Human approximation." Spock settled deeper into the couch, perfect posture intact. No doubt he knew this would take a while. Jim was still trying to wrap his mind around the idea of him and Spock and the s-word. He wasn't sure how to feel. Did he and Spock not have a say in all this? They had to be together? Because fate or gods or some thing said so? Were his feelings tampered with somehow? Was any of this real?

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Jim rubbed at his eyes. "Were you ever going to?"

"I apologise, Jim. I did not think you would ever wish to be bonded with one such as me. You were- Your thoughts were so hostile. I could feel the disgust my presence brought you." Spock spoke quietly. Amid the guilty chaos of his mind, a thought drifted to the forefront.

"Can you bond to someone else?" He asked.

"Negative, I can not." The answer was what he'd been expecting. Which meant his suspicions were correct. Jim was going to kill him.

"What about your Time?" Jim asked with thinly veiled malice. His grip on the pillow was uncomfortably tight. He imagined it was Spock's neck and squeezed tighter.

The Vulcan beside him sat up straighter. If Jim was any less pissed, he'd lay off it. But Spock started it. For someone so smart, he sure was an idiot.

"If you reject the bond, I will die." Spock said, confirming Jim's theory.

Before he could answer, the doorbell wrung. Spock stood and swiftly left the room. Jim relaxed back on the couch, letting the strain and anger drain from his body, muscle by muscle. They'd have to talk later. Sort through the new minefield of misunderstandings. Jim had absolutely no plans which involved Spock with someone else. Or dead. He just needed time to think. Or a change of perspective.

"James Kirk, I see you are recovering. Stonn and I have come to extend invitations to our wedding." T'Pring spoke from the doorway, her voice completely devoid of infliction. It was unexpected. Behind her, Spock, Stonn and T'Pau were talking in the kitchen.

"Uh, thank you?" Jim asked, not quite sure what to think. Through their schooling years, Stonn had been the most xenophobic person Jim had the questionable pleasure of knowing. Kodos kind of blew everyone else out of the water. Made the constant harassment look like the child's play it was.

"The ceremony is tomorrow evening. I expect Spock will teach the correct procedures to you." T'Pring turned to leave.

"Wait! Ah, could you help me?" Jim asked. He wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do. T'Pring had, more often than not, made him feel like the lowest of life forms. Either way, she was logical to the core. IF anyone could cut through his emotional dilemma, it was her.

"I, Spock and I are t'hy'la. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's logical to do." Jim knew he hadn't actually asked a question but T'Pring was smart. She might be a bitch but that didn't mean she wasn't brilliant in her own right.

"James Kirk, when have you ever been logical?" She sat down on the armchair beside him. From the close proximity, he could smell the sweet perfume she wore. For some reason, he'd never really thought of T'Pring as a girl. He knew she was female. Duh. But he'd never thought about the time she spent on looking good. So close, he could clearly see just how intricately her hair was woven together. He could see how perfectly her nails were filed. How her dress hugged her figure just right. She was beautiful and put thought, effort into it.

"To be t'hy'la is the one wishes shared by all Vulcans. It is not logical. Nothing about t'hy'la is." She explained, her voice softer than he'd ever heard it. Blue eyes darted over her figure. She was different.

"You are Human. No one has ever expected you to be Vulcan. Why would you need to make this decision like one?" She held his gaze for several moments before everything clicked into place. She must have seen something in his eyes because she looked away, her lips turning up a mere millimetre. Just the slightest change softened all her features. Stonn was a lucky guy.

"You're gonna be a great mum, you know." Jim said with a smile. A smile which only grew as her hands flew to her flat stomach.

"How did you know?" She asked wearily. Her eyes flitted to the open doorway and back.

"Humans have this saying about pregnant women glowing." He laughed at the light green stain on her cheeks. It was just barely noticeable but definitely there. It seemed he'd underestimated her.

Jim leant over and kissed her on the cheek, making sure to focus his appreciation, affection and respect through the light touch. He pulled his hand away as the three other Vulcans walked in. The blush, which had only gotten darker with the touch of his fingers, gave them away instantly. Two left eyebrows raised while Stonn looked between them with what seemed remarkably like suspicion.

"I look forward to your wedding. Thanks, T'Pring." Jim clasped his hands together on his lap. He widened his eyes just that little bit. He knew he looked like the picture of childhood innocence.

"Don't forget to come to my house early, Jim. I'll inform you of your duties as part of my progression." She shot him a tiny smile as she rose. With a bow to T'Pau and Spock, she led Stonn from the house.

"Spock, I must speak with James alone." T'Pau watched impassively as Spock bowed and left. As soon as he was gone, she turned her cool gaze on Jim. She was, without a single doubt, the most intimidating person he'd ever met.

"Thanks for the save. You guys were just in time." Jim babbled, hands sweating where they sat in his lap. Could one person be any more intense?

"James Tiberius Kirk, I am entrusting my grandchild to you. I ask only that you look after him." She stood and brushed her fingers over face. Temple to chin. His eyes closed, Jim leaned into her fingers until they were gone.

By the time he opened them again, T'Pau was gone and Spock stood before him. Jim lifted his arms and let his Vulcan take him back to his bedroom. Thanks to the light blocking blinds, upstairs were completely dark. Perfect for a midday nap. Jim pulled Spock down onto his bed and snuggled into his chest. Might as well take the opportunity to fix what he'd said earlier.

"Spock? I wasn't telling you to get a new bondmate. I just needed to know what you were planning to do for... then. That's why I was angry. I didn't like thinking about life without you. It hurts." Jim rubbed the spot above his heart. Just saying the words made his chest ache. Like Pike said, they came as a pair or nothing at all.

Strong arms wrapped around Jim and pulled him closer. Between Spock's body heat and the medications forced into his bloodstream twice a day, Jim lost the fight to stay conscious.

This took waaay too long to write.

If you haven't seen it already, my KSAdvent is called Wish. Check out the KSAdvent Livejournal and have a look through everyone's submissions. They're pretty great. :D