"To Find The Light"

by

Debir

Chapter Seven: Re-Assurance

The newly minted couple have made it to Switzerland and have stopped traveling for the night. A modest sized fire illuminates their outstretched forms. They face each other as they reflect on the twisty path their relationship has taken them.

Gabrielle gazes at the woman who has brought a renewed sense of peace into her life, "Do you know the exact moment I knew I was falling for you?"

Deerdra smiles, "The exact moment? No."

Gabrielle caresses Deerdra's cheek, "It was when you fell out of the tree and landed on the campfire. There was something about your reaction. You weren't angry just...silly. I mean, here was this woman who had the weight of the world on her shoulders and she was walking around with a big, black sooty spot on her behind. The contrast from just a few days before was jarring...and endearing. I knew there was more to you, and I wanted to find out what that was."

"And have you?"

Gabrielle leans in, "I'm still learning."

"You know, Xena can be silly as well," Deerdra reminds Gabrielle.

"I know, but this feels different."

"I'll accept that argument."

Deerdra moves in for a kiss, but Gabrielle stops her, "Uh, uh. It's your turn. When did you know?"

"Well, from the moment I saw you, I wanted to get to know you better. But Cupid's arrow didn't find its mark until that day in the rose garden. You were doing your poses and the sun lit up your hair like glistening gold. The ocean's breeze stirred the flowers and their scent filled my lungs. You turned and looked at me and my heart just stopped." She places her hand over Gabrielle's heart, "And now it only beats for you."

Gabrielle sniffles, "That's beautiful."

They embrace and spend the rest of the evening in each others arms...that is, until Gabrielle hears a rustling in the bushes. She looks over Deerdra and at the dimly lit undergrowth. Straining to see in the half moon light, she can just make out the outline of a man. She nudges Deerdra and whispers, "Deerdra, someone's here." Deerdra's deep in dreamland and doesn't hear her. Before she can nudge Deerdra again, the man steps forward and into a fleeting moonbeam. It's the Archangel Michael. He motions for Gabrielle to come over to him. She wraps a blanket around herself and tip-toes over.

They speak in hushed tones.

"Michael. Is something wrong? You're usually a lot more flashy when you appear."

Michael is just as stoic as always, "I need to speak to you, alone."

Gabrielle wasn't nervous about his appearance, until he said those seven little words. She replies with caution, "Why? Deerdra hasn't done anything wrong."

He is unfazed by her defensive stance, "I would like to keep it that way."

"Okay. I'm listening." To this day, she doesn't trust him and may never again. That happens when someone tries repeatedly to kill your best friend.

He lays out his plan: "Deerdra has deep feelings for you and would go to great lengths to protect you. However, I believe those lengths are limited by the nature of your relationship."

Gabrielle is lost, "What are you talking about? Our relationship is on solid ground."

"Yes, but for how long? Deerdra has had many, ahem, relationships over the years, none of which lasted for very long."

Gabrielle is a little insulted. She's not fresh off the turnip cart, "I know about her past. What we have is different."

Here comes the kicker, "It could be...if you two were to be married."

Gabrielle wasn't expecting that, "Married? Us?"

"Yes. It would solidify her feelings for you. Make her stronger. Think, Gabrielle. Who would you fight harder to protect? A girlfriend or a wife?"

She's never thought about it like that. He makes a slim point, "There could be a difference, I suppose." She wiggles a finger at him, "A slight one."

He knows he's getting through to her and is pleased with himself, "A margin that could be the difference between life or death."

He has Gabrielle concerned, "Whose? Mine or hers?"

Michael looks her straight in the eyes, "Both." He shimmers then ascends back to the Heavens with the other Archangels. He's greeted by Gabriel.

The Angel of Truth is not happy, "What was the purpose of your talk with Gabrielle? We should not be interfering with the natural line of their path."

Michael doesn't see a problem, "It was just a little insurance, nothing more. You do not want Deerdra to fail, do you?"

Gabriel has never liked it when Michael visits the humans, but he is the Archangels' leader. "Of course not, but we must stand guard against diverting the natural order of things too much and too often. It could come back to haunt you"

Michael is still defiant, "We shall see."

Gabrielle, in the meantime, is left to sort through the growing maelstrom of emotions that threaten to overtake her thoughts. She's careful not to wake Deerdra when she lays next to her. Gazing at the slumbering warrior, she places her left hand over Deerdra's left hand and wonders, "Would you even want to get married?" With that question bouncing around in her head, she dozes off and enters dreamland- figuratively speaking:

A crowd has gathered outside Aphrodite's temple. Everyone is here. The gods: Ares, Hera, Zeus, Athena, and of course Aphrodite. Friends: Xena, Autolycus, Joxer, Meg, Virgil, and even Hercules. Family: Gabrielle's parents Hecuba and Herodotus, her sister Lila. Deerdra's parents (this is a dream, after all) Reese and Lenora and her brother Lor.

Inside, the temple is decorated to the nines. White, cream, pink, and peach roses adorn the linen covered and extremely long table. The tall back chairs are trimmed in miniature versions of the flowers. White linen curtains line the temple walls while a thousand candle chandelier provides plenty of light for the coming reception. The ceremony its self is taking place in a grass covered clearing in the forest near the temple.

It hasn't been missed by the flower faeries, either. Two rows of white benches flank the rose petal lined aisle. Roses, Baby's Breath, and fern fronds spill out of four foot tall vases, evenly spaced, three on each side. At the end of the aisle is a flower covered arbor, its frame woven together by vines from the gods' own vineyard.

All of the guests' are clothed in white with gold and silver accents which, oddly enough doesn't detract from the brides' ensembles. Yes, even Xena's normal brown leather is now all white and silver.

Reese escorts Deerdra first. She's in a white cotton shirt with French cuffs and collar, white suede vest, and white leather trousers. The vest's lapel and back are adorned with a gold filigree pattern that continues down the side of both pant legs. Tying it all together is The Sword of Light displayed prominently on her left hip. It is sheathed in white leather accented with the same filigree pattern as the vest.

Harps begin playing a Heavenly tune as Herodotus escorts a radiant Gabrielle down the aisle. She is a vision in her white chiffon gown. Her bodice matches Deerdra's vest, white suede with the golden filigree pattern winding all around the top. THE definition of a white wedding.

The brides face each other and hold hands, their happiness beaming forth like sunlight. Eli steps forward and begins the ceremony. "Gabrielle-."

"Gabrielle? Gabrielle?Wake up sweetheart." Deerdra gently shakes Sleeping Beauty.

"Mmm, I do." Gabrielle rolls over and is blinded by the sun. She shields her eyes and rolls back over into Deerdra's shadow. "Deerdra?"

Deerdra smiles, "Good morning. You do what, hon?"

Gabrielle's answer is groggy, "What?"

"You mumbled 'I do' before you woke up." Deerdra chuckles, "Just what kind of dream were you having?"

Gabrielle vividly remembers her dream, but she's not about to tell Deerdra about it, "Ah, hmm, I don't remember now. Why's it so bright?"

"That dream of yours made you sleep half the day away."

"You're kidding! I've never slept in this late. We should get moving." She starts to get up, but Deerdra stops her.

"We could wait until tomorrow, get a fresh start."

Gabrielle is tempted, "No, we've lounged around enough. Let's pack up and go."

"Okay." Deerdra turns he back to Gabrielle and begins to roll up her bed.

While she's busy, Gabrielle glances up and whispers, "Cute, Michael. A frying pan to the head would have been less subtle." She looks over to see if Deerdra heard her. Nope, she's busy bent over picking up camp. Gabrielle can't resist. She winds up one of her blankets then snaps Deerdra's behind.

Deerdra stops what she's doing then slowly stands up and turns to Gabrielle who's trying to hold back a big guffaw.

"So that's the kind of day it's going to be, huh?" Deerdra pretends to be angry, but the big grin on her mug gives her away. She lunges at Gabrielle and snatches the blanket away. Gabrielle squeals and runs behind a tree as Deerdra winds up to snap. They play a group up version of peek a boo with the tree. Deerdra lunging one way and Gabrielle dodging the other. Eventually, with their sides about to bust with laughter, Deerdra dodges at the same time as Gabrielle. She wraps the blanket around the Bards waist and pulls her to her, "You're a nut, you know that."

Gabrielle giggles, "But you love me anyway."

Deerdra smiles, "I do," and plants a big, sumptuous kiss on Gabrielle.

Gabrielle doesn't resist until her 'wedding' flashes before her. She pulls back a bit, "Whoa. Deja vu."

"Does that mean you're tired of the way I kiss? I can change it up, you know," Deerdra grins.

"That's not-you can?"

"Uh, huh." The Cheshire Cat's smile isn't near as big as the one spreading across Deerdra's face at that moment.

The next morning, they finally continue riding toward their destination. Parisiorum .a.k.a. Paris.

Gabrielle is in a wondering mood, "I wonder how Xena's doing?"

A thought Deerdra hadn't been wondering about, but she's not surprised Gabrielle has, "Without you or with Ares?"

"With Ares without me."

"Gabrielle, Xena's a big girl. She can handle him."

"I know. It's just-he can be so...persuasive. Seducing Xena is like breathing to him"

"And rebuking his advances is like breathing to her. She's not going to revert back to her old ways, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not worried. Concerned maybe, but not worried. What if they do team up?"

"Uh uh. No what if's, remember? But we would have to find a way to stop them."

"That's what worries me." That puts a damper on Gabrielle's mood.

Deerdra tries to put a different thought, another what if, if you will in her head, "On the flip side, she may have gotten so ticked off at his deception that she knocked him senseless and left."

"That's true. I sure wouldn't want to be in his shoes," Gabrielle laughs, "She'd probably knock him right out of them."

"I can just picture him flying back and landing on his butt and his boots standing tall right where he used to be standing." They both chuckle at the mighty Ares laying stunned and barefoot at Xena's feet.

Gabrielle is getting immense pleasure at the idea, "It would be nice to see him get his just rewards for a change."

"Careful, at one time he was brother-in-law," Deerdra reminds her.

Gabrielle shakes her head, "I can only imagine what that was like."

Deerdra stops her horse, "I know with one exception, they treated you and Xena like public enemy number one, but they were good to me. After being exiled then loosing my family, it was nice being part of a new family. Yes, they were dysfunctional, but they embraced me as one of their own, faults and all."

"Deerdra, not to burst your bubble, but they did have a hand in your creation, plus you were married to Athena."

Deerdra pauses to think how to explain, "Marriage doesn't guarantee you'll be accepted by the in-laws.

It was more. We laughed and joked and teased each other to no end. Yes, we had our disagreements, but when I was sad and missing my Mother and Father, I could turn to any one of them-except Discord-and they would comfort me just like a normal family."

This is a new side of Deerdra. Gabrielle had no idea family was so important to her. Has she been wrong about the gods? "I do consider Aphrodite a friend. And Ares has had his moments."

That last sentence doesn't sit well with Deerdra, "His moments? Like saving your life while giving up his god-hood?"

This conversation has taken a turn, "What's with the attitude?"

These feelings of resentment surprise Deerdra, but the horse has bolted from the barn. She has to vent or explode, "The guy gives up everything that he is to save you and Xena's daughter and what does he get in return? Hostility and disrespect, that's what."

Gabrielle's getting a little hot under the collar, "If you knew half of the things he's done to Xena and me, you wouldn't be so quick to defend him."

Deerdra is just as defensive, "He's the God of War, disrupting people's lives is what he does."

Gabrielle takes a breath and calms herself, "What is going on? This can't all just be about Ares." A reason occurs to her, " Ah, we were talking about family. You're still angry with Xena, aren't you? I thought the two of you came to an understanding."

Deerdra's answer is bitter, "Yeah, we have an understanding all right. I understand why she killed them and she understand why I can't forgive her."

Gabrielle is disappointed. She thought Deerdra was a bigger person than this, "I see."

Deerdra hears her disappointment and considers another explanation for her feelings, "Maybe it has nothing to do with Xena and more with the fact I'll always be alone. My families deaths just drove that point home and it hurts. I know, it was my choice. Who knew it would hit me this hard?"

Gabrielle knows. She thinks, "Michael did." Light bulb! "That's why he wants me to-"

She's interrupted by shouts for help. The two look around. They didn't realize they had stopped at a fork in the road.

Deerdra looks at Gabrielle, "Can you tell which way?"

Gabrielle stands in the stirrups, "There!" She points to their right, "I see a man waving!"

Deerdra see him as well and the two take off. In short order they come upon an older gentleman. His clothes are dirty and he has a cut to his chin. He is frantic, "My wagon overturned! Can you help? My wife is trapped underneath!"

Deerdra holds out a hand, "Hop on! What's your wife's name?"

"Maria and I'm Jax."

"Well hold on, Jax. We're gonna fly!"

They take off like a shot. Just a ways down the hill and there it is. A two horse buckboard on its side and partially in a ditch. Jax was able to unhitch the horses and halfway stabilize the wagon by wedging large rocks underneath, on his wife's side.

Maria hears horse hooves thudding against the road heading in her direction. She musters up the strength for a weak, "Help."

They skid to a halt. Jax slides off and runs to Maria, "I've brought help!" He kneels beside her and takes her hand into his. They look lovingly into each other's eyes, "Maria, my love."

"Jax, don't worry. We have more life to live together."

Deerdra surveys the situation, "The wheels are intact. The wood is sound. Yeah, I can lift it off of her no problem."

Gabrielle is busy watching the older love birds and not paying attention to Deerdra. "Gabrielle?"

"Aren't they sweet?"

"Yes, they're sweet. Did you hear me?"

"You're going to lift it off of her. I heard."

"Can we get started or do you want to keep watching them make googly eyes at each other?"

"I thought you were more romantic than this."

"You know I am, but right now we have to get that wagon off before it crushes her to death."

Gabrielle snaps out of her romantic cloud, "Right! Jax, on the count of three, Deerdra'll lift the wagon and then we'll pull Maria from underneath. Okay?"

Jax's voice is shaky, "Okay. Did you hear, Maria? You'll be free soon."

Maria gives him a weak smile, "Good. I have dinner to make." She's trying to calm him despite being nervous herself.

Deerdra gets in position, as close to center as she can get, then grabs the edge of the wagon. She nods to Gabrielle and the two of them count in unison.

"One, two, three!"

Deerdra lifts and Gabrielle and Jax pull. Once Maria is clear, Deerdra goes ahead and flips the wagon all the way over. With a loud Ka-Thuck, it lands right-side up. Everyone hurries to check Maria's injuries. Deerdra and Gabrielle expect to find the worst, but to their surprise, she only has some bruising and a slight twist to her left ankle.

Maria's first concern isn't about herself, "How is the wagon?"

Smiles all around and Deerdra answers, "Just fine, ma'am. You lay there and catch your breath and I'll hitch the team back up so you can be on your way."

"Thank you-" Maria realizes she doesn't know their names.

Gabrielle helps her out. She points to herself then to Deerdra, "Gabrielle and Deerdra."

"Gabrielle and Deerdra. You must join us for dinner tonight."

Jax concurs, "Yes, please join us. It is the least we can do."

The two women look at each other then Gabrielle gives their answer, "Okay, but you have to let us help. You need to take it easy on your ankle."

Maria starts to object, but Deerdra cuts her off, "Just for tonight. Tomorrow you can dance the day away, alright?"

Maria doesn't like it, a hostess is supposed to take care of her guests needs and ignore her own. However, her ankle is beginning to hurt, "Okay." She holds up one finger, "Just one night."

"Jax, since these are your horses, you go ahead and hitch them up while Gabrielle and I help Maria into the back of the wagon."

He and Maria smile at one another then give each other a peck on the cheek. Deerdra picks Maria up and cradles her in her arms while Gabrielle climbs into the back of the wagon ready to receive Maria and slide her to the front next to the bench seat.

The next morning, as they ride to yet another small, unnamed village, Gabrielle and Deerdra joke about their evening spent with Jax and Maria.

"I've never felt so useless. Even at their age-what did they say? They've celebrated 64 Solstices' together?- they ran circles around us." Gabrielle marvels.

Deerdra chuckles, "Yeah. I never though of myself as old until we met those two. I was only kidding about her dancing away."

"Yeah," Gabrielle's thoughts are a mile away. "They're movements were so fluid, like they were dancing as one." She sighs and looks over at Deerdra.

Deerdra senses she's being watched. She glances over at Gabrielle, "What?"

"Have you ever thought about getting married again?" There, Michael. It's out there. Happy now?, Gabrielle says to herself. A cold flush washes over her and her palms begins to sweat. By the gods, I actually said it! Her heart beats out the Foxtrot in her chest anticipating Deerdra's reaction.

A long silence as various thoughts zip around Deerdra's head. Is she talking about us? Nah, maybe she's joking. Then what could be the punch line? If she is serious what do I tell her? The truth? Yes, Gabrielle, I have thought about it but discarded it as a pipe dream. It wouldn't be much of a life for you, staying home, watching yourself grow older all the while I'm staying the same and going out slaying demons. It wouldn't be fair to you. Then again, I can't lie to her.

She decides to keep it simple and hope Gabrielle won't want more. "Yes and no."

Gabrielle wasn't sure what answer Deerdra would give her, but she didn't expect one so vague. She presses on, "Yes you want to get married again and No to marrying me?"

Deerdra brings her steed to an all stop, "That is Not what I said."

"Hey, there!" A man comes running up to them, bringing a potentially tense conversation to an end. "Those wagon tracks will only lead to your death. You need to stay on this road. It will take you to the village where you can find a guide."

Deerdra whispers to Gabrielle, "We'll finish this later."

"You bet we will." Gabrielle turns to the man, "A guide to where?"

The man chuckles, "Not to, but through. If you want to avoid the battle, you'll have to go across the mountains. It's mighty stormy up there. Makes it real easy to get lost."

Deerdra's interest was piqued when he said battle. "Who's fighting?"

"Oh, just the same two tribes who fight every year. They each claim the area for themselves. Some years are messier than others. I hear this is a bad one. New blood and all. Ha! I made a joke!"

Gabrielle mumbles, "Yeah, real funny."

"How far is this village?" Deerdra isn't looking forward to their discussion. The shorter the time alone, the better.

"You can make it there before nightfall. Even sooner at a gallop."

Music to Deerdra's ears, "Thank you. Do you need a lift somewhere?"

"No. I'm sort of the village crier. When those two begin their fighting, I come out here to warn people-and maybe make a dinar as thank you."

Deerdra reaches into her saddle bag, "Here's five."

The man smiles for a mile, "Thank You! The best guides can be found in the pub. You can't miss it, it's the only one we have. And if you need anything else, just ask for Devos."

Gabrielle gets the feeling that Deerdra's done with their discussion, "Thank you, Devos. We'll keep you in mind."

They trot off a ways then Deerdra looks to Gabrielle, "Race ya!"

Now Gabrielle is positive Deerdra is done talking. She is curious what Deerdra is really thinking, but now isn't the time to push. "You're on!"

And they're off!

*CONTINUED*