"I hate my life. I hate my life." Jim moaned, Spock looking on in a mix between fascination and mild confusion. They'd arrived back in San Fran two weeks ago and Jim was still having trouble doing simple things by himself. Not to mention that he was having nightmares about Sarek and sex talks and making babies and oh my god did he have to draw a diagram? Why was life so cruel?

"James stop uttering blatant falsehoods." Spock said, sandwiching him between the counter and his body. Oh distractions. Spock was very good at distracting him. There was just something about a warm hand down his pants which took his mind off his troubles. Or a hot mouth. Or sharp hips jutting against his own.

"Spoooock." Jim moaned, eyes rolling back into his skull with each roll of those perfect hips against his own. He could feel the blood rushing south as they ground together.

Large hands lifted Jim off the floor, his legs automatically winding around Spock's waist. He whimpered when Spock nipped his ear lobe and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Do you honestly hate your life?" Spock asked, each breath ghosting over Jim's sensitive skin.

"No. No. Don't. Honest." Jim panted, hands fisting in Spock's hair. His Vulcan seemed to get the message, finally running his tongue along Jim's lips and giving him a long, hard kiss.

Without warning, Jim was dumped back on the floor, Spock stepping away. It took a few moments for his mind to reboot and when it did, Jim pouted. Tease.

"You are still injured, James." Spock said, turning his back and walking to the door.

It was true. Phil said his leg probably wouldn't be all better for another month and his back still needed a week or two before it was considered fully healed.

Jim trailed after Spock, limping less noticeably. He was looking forward to getting a clean bill of heath from Phil. No more physiotherapy, no more non sexy showers with Spock. Really, only a Vulcan could make a mutual shower between lovers mundane. It had to be a super power or something. And no more missing out on martial arts sessions or sitting out during their hand to hand classes. Jim had energy to spare and no where for it to go. There was only so many games of chess he and Spock could play before he went psycho.

Jim hobbled down the front steps and into the waiting hovercar. The one upside of being injured would be not having to walk.

Since coming back, he'd been feeling paranoid. There was the prickling of his senses, the sensation of being watched. And he couldn't exactly forget Admiral Archer's warning about his file.

Then again, every time he felt off, Gary would show up out of seemingly nowhere. He acted like a shield and Jim was glad for his odd appearances. His friend was a life saver. Gary always just laughed it off. Jim really did count himself lucky to have such amazing friends.

The day they'd returned, they were sprinted off to a meeting with the Admiralty and debriefed on the official reports on Tarsus IV. A lot of what happened was top secret information and Starfleet was keeping a lid on it all.

Jim was expected to act as a witness for the trial. Everyone, from little Kevin to Commander Xverjabdene had mentioned his participation in their statements. It was concluded that he would be the face of Starfleet's involvement in the tragedy.

And in the true fashion of the universe, Spock was Vulcan's spokesperson on the events. Which, to be honest, didn't involve that much work. He was using Vulcan's notorious secrecy in his favour to say the least about Tarsus as possible.

At least they were going through it together.

On campus, he could barely go two paces without people coming up and asking about the mission. Some had family members who perished, others friends. It was heartbreaking all over again. Jim had never been as thankful for his photographic memory, or his compulsive need to know everyone's names, as he was when talking to them. He remembered each and every person. Was able to share the better memories and bring a little peace to those who were grieving.

Spock reached over and wiped away the tear which was rolling down Jim's cheek. He hadn't even noticed it.

Jim turned and looked at him. The strong line of his shoulders. The perfect posture. How his eyelashes brushed against his cheeks each time he blinked.

Without Spock, Jim knew he would have crumbled under the pressure. He was cracked, missing chips here and there but, Spock was keeping him together. Had done everything to shoulder some of the burden.

"I love you." Jim whispered, running his fingers along Spock's. He bit his lip, choked up emotions running all over the place.

"I am aware." Spock said without looking away from the road. Vulcans really were romantic bastards, weren't they? You know, if you discarded the whole soul mate thing. And mating for life. They were pretty romantic notions. How they could sell that as logical was beyond Jim.

Spock parked the hovercar in Starfleet's diplomatic area, thank Surak for those pretty Vulcan embassy flags. Jim didn't even want to think about having to walk all the way from the student parking lot.

Spock got out and walked around the vehicle , opening Jim's door for him. It was one of the things he'd taken to doing since Gary, Phil and Jose forced them into watching Terran holovids.

"James," Spock pulled Jim closer and kissed the tip of his nose, "I love you, too."

If Jim was bright red when they walked into Captain Pike's office, no one said a thing. Instead, Pike clasped his shoulder and just looked at him. To Jim, his hair seemed a little more grey. The bags under his eyes more pronounced. He looked like he'd ages ten years in the three months since Jim had last seen him.

"It's good to see you in one piece, Kirk." He finally announced, sitting back down in his chair with a sigh.

Jim looked to Spock in confusion. He was sitting up straighter, like someone replaced his spine with a metal rod.

"I suppose your mother never mentioned me." Pike stated, "Your father was like my hero when I was a cadet. I swear, I followed him everywhere. People even called me his shadow."

Jim's eyes widened, his breath catching in his throat. Apart from that one time, Winona had never talked about George. It was a name which went unmentioned in their household. To the point that his brother was called Sam instead.

"That's not what we're here for today so I won't go on about it. I just wanted you to know that I was worried." Pike finished, smiling crookedly.

Jim's heart beat unsteadily, Spock's hand reaching out and tangling their fingers together. There was nothing inappropriate about the action. It was a Human display of support and comfort. It also amounted to Vulcan making out but not many Humans were aware of that. Then again, Pike was looking at their hands with mild amusement. And he was a seasoned officer.

"I had heard a rumour." He said, eyes laughing. "I guess congratulations are in order."

Jim blushed and covered his face with his free hand. Spock's own amusement leaked through the bond and Jim could feel himself heating further. He would look like a tomato before too long.

"Captain Pike, you summoned us for…" Spock prompted, squeezing Jim's hand.

Captain Pike shuffled through his PADDs, looking for something in particular. When he found what he was looking for, Pike gave them a smile.

"Nothing too important boys, just a check up for the Kobayashi." Pike said and Jim felt dread fill his stomach. He hadn't thought about the Kobayashi Maru in months. Not since before his fight with Gary and Spock.

"The initial stimulation has been completed." Spock spoke up from beside him. "It requires testing in the lab. I estimate less than 0.05% range of error in our calculations."

Jim had to give Pike credit. He didn't even look surprised by Spock's announcement. In fact, Jim was pretty sure he was the one giving the game away. He just had no idea Spock had done so much work on his own. It made him feel a little guilty. It was meant to be a duel project and Spock had ended up picking up all his slack. On top of his already hectic schedule.

His Vulcan was amazing.

"That's exactly what I was expecting, boys." Pike pulled out another PADD. "I've booked you the simulation labs for the next two weeks. That'll be enough time for you, right?"

Jim just nodded. Two weeks was longer than he'd thought they'd be given.

Pike smiled and wrote something down on the PADD. It looked like everything was going according to plan.

"Okay boys, I think that was all I needed. You're free to go." Pike stood up from behind his desk and walked them to the door.

"Captain, would you like to have lunch with Jim sometime?" Spock asked, turning back. "I am sure you have much to talk about."

Pike blinked and looked to Jim. He couldn't help but smile. He really would like to hear more about his father, especially during his academy days. He could read any number of books on the Kelvin. It was his real father, Jim was interested in. Not the renown hero.

"You've got Thursdays, from one till three free, right?" Pike asked, "I can fit in lunch and a few stories of the old days in there."

Jim grinned and bounced forward, shaking Pike's hand with enthusiasm.

As they walked away from Pike's office, Jim felt something brush against his palm. From the corner of his eye, he saw Spock's arm reaching towards him. Fingers slid along his own and laced between them. Since Spock was deliberately not looking in his direction, Jim did the same.

A small smile stretched across his face, Jim felt the first cracks smoothing over. It'd be alright. Nothing like Tarsus would ever happen again. Not on his watch.