Author's note: Hi everybody. I'm glad to say this chapter did not take another year to make. Hope you enjoy it and I promise I'll keep trying to post chapters more regularly. Oh, and please review :)!
Chapter 18
The Secret Keeper
The Hogwarts Express rode through the darkness, with columns of white clouds rising from the scarlet steam locomotive. With the new moon and ominous clouds covering the sky like a blanket, there was no light in the pitch black sky. Even the compartments of the train, which usually were full of chatting children excited to go home for Easter, were deserted. Not a single light or candle was lit in the train; the corridor and compartments were as black as the night.
Judy stood with her back pressed against the end of the corridor, staring into the darkness. She held Lupin's everlasting candle in her right hand, but she had nothing to light it with; not even her wand she realised suddenly.
She startled as she heard a noise in the distance. She drew shallow breaths of air, realising she'd start hyperventilating if she didn't calm down. But as soon as she managed to focus on her breathing, she once again heard a noise. It was closer now.
Judy tried to ignore her fear and concentrate on the sound. She soon realised it was a mingle of sounds. There were hurried footsteps…clatter of china and cutlery on the wooden floor…bangs of large pieces of furniture falling over…heavy breathing…several screams and groans…a rattling sound...and then there was…cold. Judy's eyes widened as a feeling of pure dread grasped her heart.
She startled as a man suddenly stumbled into the passenger car and fell face to the floor. He quickly scrambled up again, groaning as he pushed himself off the ground. Though Judy had trouble making out his silhouette in the dark, he seemed skinny. His clothes were nothing more than rags, hanging loosely around his emaciated body. He had dark hair, Judy saw as he stumbled toward her. He looked up for a moment and when their eyes met, they couldn't do anything but stare at each other.
It was the first time she saw her father up close in twelve years, and he looked nothing like the man who left her at Lupin's house, the night James and Lily were killed. He wasn't the loving, spirited young father she remembered. He looked more like a tired old man, Judy thought sadly.
'Your wand,' Sirius said, walking up to her. 'Give me your wand.'
'I don't have it,' said Judy quickly, making him stop in his tracks.
'Judy, I have no time for,-'
'I'm not joking. I don't have it,' she said seriously.
'But…' he looked at her, at a loss for words.
Both startled as the door at the other end of the corridor was pushed open. Judy narrowed her eyes and tried to make out who entered the passenger car. She yelped as she heard the rattling breath in the distance and the atmosphere grew even colder.
Sirius grabbed her shoulders. 'Go,' he said urgently. 'Run, Judy.'
'What?! No,' she protested. 'I can't run, I have to…'
'Sweetheart, we have no time to argue,' said Sirius quickly. 'Run!' Judy looked passed him at the Dementor as it drew closer. She could feel its breath drawing away her hope.
'But I have to save you!' she retorted.
'No, you don't,' he said gently. 'I'm your father. I have to save you.' He said turning around. Judy reached for his arm, but missed it as he walked away from her, toward the Dementor.
'Don't!' she called after him, paralyzed by fear as she realised what he was doing.
Judy watched in horror as the Dementor laid its scaly hands on her father's shoulders. It leaned in and Sirius' body caved as his soul was sucked from his body.
'DAD!' Judy awoke with a scream.
'It's al right, Jude,' said a familiar voice she couldn't quite place. She looked around the compartment several times, before she realised the darkness had indeed gone.
'What…what happened?' she asked confused, her eyes resting on Duncan who lay curled up in the corner of the seat opposite her.
'I think you had a nightmare,' the boy beside her got up and sat down in front of her. Oliver smiled at her as he took her shaking hands in his. 'You're safe,' he said reassuringly.
'When did you get here?' asked Judy.
'A few minutes ago. I was on my way out when I saw two Slytherin girls in front of this compartment, stifling their giggles.'
'Let me guess, Odelia and Dara?' asked Judy, not surprised.
'Yes. I walked up to them to see what they were looking at. When I reached the compartment I saw you,' he paused for a moment. Judy recognised the look in in his eyes; she'd seen the same fear in Charlie's and Fred's eyes after her vision at the Burrow. 'You were…crying, moaning, kicking and…you even screamed once or twice. I tried to wake you, but I couldn't. Duncan hissed at you, backing away in that corner,' he said, as he pointed to the curled up cat. 'I tried to constrain you, but you resisted so fiercely, I decided to let you go and wait...and then you woke up with a scream…'
'Did I…did I say anything?' asked Judy in a forced casual tone. 'Any names, or…'
'No, you only screamed 'Dad' when you woke up just now.'
'Oh, good,' she let slip.
'I thought you never knew your father?' asked Oliver confused.
'I don't,' said Judy quickly. 'But I suppose that doesn't matter when you have a nightmare…'
'I suppose not,' said Oliver. 'Listen, is there anything I can do for you?'
'Ehm…' Judy looked around the compartment. 'I don't know, may be carry my bag? I mean, if you have time. I can understand if you want to go. Katie must be wondering where you are.'
'Oh,' said Oliver, his face turning sad. 'She's not here. She's staying at Hogwarts during the holidays.'
'Is something wrong, Oliver? I mean, did something happen between the two of you?' asked Judy carefully.
'I think saying, nothing is really happening, is more accurate,' he said uncomfortably. 'I just…well, you know me, Jude. I don't always know what to say to girls…I mean, what's the right thing to say, you know?'
'I know,' she said with a small smile. 'So you're saying, that you two don't really talk?'
'Well, we talk,' said Oliver quickly. 'About Quidditch, you know.'
'Quidditch?' asked Judy, arching her eye brow. 'Only Quidditch?'
'Well, we both love it,' said Oliver defensively.
'So did we,' Judy reminded him. 'And it's a good topic to talk about with friends, but when girls have a boyfriend, they like to talk about other things than Quidditch…'
'I know that!' Oliver rolled his eyes. 'I just don't know…I don't know what,' he said with a sigh.
'It's not that difficult, Oliver,' said Judy with a small smile. 'Just tell her her hair looks nice, or that you love her perfume. Ask her what else she likes besides Quidditch and tell her what's going on in your life. Tell her how she makes you feel. I'm sure she'd love to know.'
'You think she doesn't know?' he asked confused.
'Not if you don't tell her. Or show her, with flowers, or hugs or…well you know the rest,' said Judy amused as Oliver smiled. 'If you do that, and don't talk about Quidditch for a while, I'm sure things will turn around.'
'Thanks, Jude. You always were a good friend.' Judy looked away as she thought back on her conversation with Willow and George and just how good a friend she'd been in the past months.
'Wotcher!' Judy startled at the familiar voice. 'What are you two doing? Do you know I've searched the entire train for you?!' Tonks said, worried. Her purple hair, colouring red.
'I'm sorry, Dora, I…'
'She had a nightmare,' said Oliver, as he got to his feet. 'I just sat with her, to make sure she was all right.'
'And is she?' asked Tonks, looking at Oliver.
'I'm fine, Dora,' said Judy quickly. 'It was just a dream.'
'I'd better go,' said Oliver, obviously feeling uncomfortable. 'Hope you have a good holiday, Jude.'
'You too, Oliver,' she cast him a smile as he left the compartment.
'Goodbye, Oliver,' Tonks grinned after him. 'Are you sure you're over him?' she asked amused.
'Yes,' said Judy, rolling her eyes. 'And it's not nice of you to tease him, Dora.'
'Come on, Jude. If he can handle a Quaffle, he can handle me…' she offered amused as she sat down in front of her. 'So…you had a dream?' she asked seriously.
'A nightmare,' said Judy, shuddering as she thought back on the horrific images. 'Just a nightmare.'
'Are you sure?' asked Tonks carefully. 'Are you sure it wasn't a vision?'
'It wasn't something that happened in the past,' she said, contemplating her next words. 'I saw…I saw Sirius…in this train…he was being chased by a Dementor…I was there…and…' she fell silent as she looked out of the window. 'I've never seen the future before, Dora.' She turned her eyes to her cousin. 'I don't think I can…not yet.'
'Then it was just a nightmare,' said Tonks reassuringly. 'Just because you're a Seer, doesn't mean every dream has a meaning.' She took Judy's hand and squeezed it gently. 'You're worried about him, about what might happen to him. It's only natural for that fear to come forth in a dream.'
Judy smiled. 'Thank you.'
'You're welcome,' she smiled back at her, her hair colour turning bright pink. 'Now,' she said as she got up, 'we'd best be off. I told Mum we'd be home by now…and you know how she can get when somebody's late…'
Judy nodded as she got to her feet. She leaned over to Duncan, caressing his dark fur as he lay curled up in the corner. 'I'm sorry if I hurt you,' she said softly. He purred as she scratched him behind his hair. Judy smiled, holding a pluck of rough black hair in between her fingers as she pulled her hand back.
Judy closed her eyes as the warm water ran down her skin, allowing it to chase away the cold sweat the nightmare had caused. Despite Tonks' comforting words, she couldn't help but worry about her dream. Her stomach ached and her throat felt constricted as she thought back on her nightmare; it was one of the most terrifying experiences in her life to helplessly watch her father give up his life for her own. She let out a deep sigh and shuddered to get rid of the ice cold feeling she had inside.
She only shut the shower off ten minutes later, and remained in the warm steam of the cabin as she dried herself off; clinging on to the last bit of warmth it provided. She wrapped the towel around her and stepped on the tile floor. She walked to the mirror and wiped away the damp with her hand to look herself straight in the eye.
'Enough,' she said calmly, hugging herself to literally contain her emotions. It was a technique Lupin had applied when she awoke from a nightmare in her younger years. The feeling of containment he had provided always made her feel safe and in control of the emotions that threatened to overtake her moments before.
Judy stood there for a few minutes allowing her emotions to subside. She then walked back to the bedroom she'd be sharing that week with Tonks. Andromeda hadn't changed a thing since Tonks moved out, meaning the room existed of colourful, and varied array of furniture and trinkets.
She looked down on the bed as she dried her hair with the fluffy blue towel. Two dresses lay on the duvet, one jade and one purple. She couldn't help but smile at the disappearance of her baggy jeans, blue tank top and orange vest. There was no doubt in her mind that her aunt Andromeda bore full responsibility for that.
Judy turned around to look at herself in the mirror. Her lips curled up in a small smile as she thought back on her goodbye to Lupin. He'd been right about her appearance; she had recovered from the aftermath of her last vision, though not entirely. She was still a skinnier and paler version of the 15-year old girl that looked back at her from the mirror a year ago.
'Jude?' She startled at the familiar voice. 'Are you dressed yet?'
'Almost!' she said truthfully, turning back to the bed. She dropped the towel and quickly gathered some underwear from her trunk. Then she picked up the purple dress and slipped into it as Tonks already opened the bedroom door. Judy turned on her heel and smiled at her.
'You ehm…' Tonks hesitated. 'You've dropped a few pounds, haven't you?'
'More than a few,' said Judy honestly. 'But I've also gained a few back…'
'Well, Mum's cooking will do the rest for you,' said Tonks with a wink. 'Do you want me to do your hair?'
'Yes, please. And would you mind cutting the ends off?'
'Of course not,' Tonks replied, closing the door as Judy sat down at the dressing table.
The older witch walked around the younger one, while taking her wand out of her pocket. 'How much do you want me to take off?'
'Just the split ends.'
'Are you sure?' asked Tonks disappointed. 'You know, a short coupe would look beautiful on you.'
'Just the ends, Dora,' said Judy, looking at the picture of her, Remus and Duncan. She reached out to the frame and at her touch the picture transformed. Judy's fingers trailed over the young faces of her parents.
'All right,' said Dora affectionately. Judy looked up and smiled at her in the mirror. 'We'll leave it like hers.'
'Thanks, Dora.'
'You know,' said Tonks, as she pulled her fingers through the dark locks. 'You look so much like,-'
'Like my mother, I know,' said Judy, finishing the sentence she'd heard a million times in her life.
'No, like your Dad,' Tonks corrected her. 'The way you look at that picture, it's the same way he used to look at you.' She said allowing the dark strands to flow down Judy's back. She then took her wand and with a few wordless swishes cut Judy's hair. 'There. Now, do you want to wear it loose? Or do you want me to put it up?
'Loose.' Tonks smiled as she dried Judy's hair with another flick of her wand.
'Done. Now, before we go down for dinner, we really should talk about when, how and where we're going to do this.' Judy met her cousin's eyes in the mirror. 'And don't tell me you haven't got a plan,' she added meaningfully.
'Well,' said Judy, turning on her chair to face her cousin. 'The how isn't that difficult. Trelawney said I could See easier with a cat, so we have to bring Duncan along.'
'How do you See with a cat?' asked Tonks, confused.
'Long story,' said Judy dismissively. 'As for the where…the location should be linked to what I want to See, but I don't know where that is yet.'
'May be I can help? I mean, if you can tell me what exactly you need to See?' Tonks offered, her hair colour showing her concern as it turned a dark shade of blue.
'I've been thinking about that…' said Judy, still thinking. 'There's only one way to prove Sirius didn't betray James and Lily, and that's that he didn't know where they were hiding.'
'But…' Tonks paused, allowing Judy's words to sink in. 'But that would mean that he wasn't their Secret Keeper.' Judy only nodded. 'But then who…? I mean, surely you don't think Remus,-'
'No, not Remus!' said Judy quickly. 'But it must have been someone who was close to them,' Judy paused. 'They wouldn't have trusted the safety of their own lives and that of Harry's to someone else. And I think it must have been someone my father knew.'
'What do you mean?' asked Tonks confused.
'In the vision I summoned, I saw my mother. She visited Lily at the time she was in hiding, only to tell her that when their lives depended on magic they should trust no one else but my father.'
'I still don't understand...'
'See, if there's one circumstance where your life almost fully depends on magic it's the Fidelius Charm. So, I think the first person Lily and James turned to was Sirius. If not for my mother's words then because he was James' best friend.'
'But then he was their Secret Keeper?' Tonks asked confused.
'Only if he accepted the job,' said Judy.
'And in order to find out what exactly happened we have to find the location where James asked Sirius to be their Secret Keeper?'
'More precisely, the location where my father either turned down the offer or changed his mind,' said Judy.
'And you have no clue where that might be?' asked Tonks, disappointed.
'I have too many,' Judy retorted. 'There's James' and Lily's old house in Godric's Hollow, my grandparents' house where my Mum was killed…and may be a secret place I don't even know about…' said Judy, unable to withhold a tone of despair.
'OK, then we'll figure out the where later,' said Tonks, running her fingers through her still dark blue locks.
'What about the when?' asked Judy carefully.
'Don't worry, I'll take care of that,' said Tonks absently.
'Nymphadora! Judy!' Andromeda called up the stairs.
'We're coming, Mum!' Tonks called back. 'So, you take care of the where, and I of the when?'
Judy sighed. 'Do you really think we can do it all in a week?'
Tonks laid her hand on Judy's shoulder. 'Of course we can. All we need is your determination, my creativity and a hint of magic,' she said with a confident smile.
As they left the room, however, Judy noticed her cousin's hair hadn't turned any brighter.
Judy stood in the small garden a few days later. She greedily inhaled the spring air carrying a hint of cherry blossom from one of the neighbouring gardens. She looked up at the sky with a smile, her eyes following the black owl she'd borrowed from her aunt, which was now barely visible in the distance. It carried several rolls of parchment on which she'd written the essays that the teachers had set the sixth years for after the holidays. Judy grinned as she imagined the look on Snape's face as he unrolled her essay on the Elixir of Life, nearly a week before it was due.
'I see you finally finished your homework,' Judy turned on her heel, still smiling as Andromeda approached her. The older witch wore an elegant blue summer dress, combined with a brown vest to protect her against the remnants of winter's chill, still lingering in the air.
'I decided to work a bit ahead,' said Judy truthfully, neglecting to add her reasons for doing so.
'I thought as much,' Andromeda said with a smile. 'You have your mother's diligence when it comes to schoolwork,' she said, cupping Judy's cheek. 'Which is of course why the Sorting Hat put you in Ravenclaw'. There was a hint of sadness in Andromeda's eyes as she looked at the younger witch. 'Come on, I have something for you,' she said, beckoning Judy to follow her to the dining room.
The colour of the room had changed since Judy's Birthday dinner. Instead of the Bordeaux red, the walls of the room now bore a soft shade of blue. Judy thought of it as a welcome change, having preferred light colours all her life.
'I asked Ted to look these up as soon as I agreed with Remus that you'd be spending Easter here.'
Judy's eyes fell on the cardboard box on the oval dining room table, which bore her name in thick black letters. The top was folded open, she noticed as she walked closer. Several leather bound books were neatly stacked inside it. Judy felt herself drawn to one with a white leather binding and picked it from the middle of the row. She opened it and was unable to stifle a sob as she looked at the picture on the first page.
Briana lay in bed in a light bedroom she'd seen before. Her long dark hair was a little tangled and some dark strands stuck to her still damp forehead. She smiled, before looking down at the small bundle in her arms. Sirius sat on the rim of the bed, beaming at the two of them and smiling proudly as the baby girl clung onto his finger with her small hand.
'We wanted to wait to show you these until you were of age,' said Andromeda gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. 'But I thought with everything that has happened…I thought you should know that he wasn't always like…like others want you to believe.'
Judy looked up from the photograph, surprised. 'Do you believe he is,-'
'Oh no, dear,' said Andromeda quickly. 'Sirius did…what he did. I just think you deserve to know that in the years prior to…he was a good man.'
Judy nodded as she turned her eyes back to the photo album and slowly leafed through the pages. Beside herself and her parents, many pictures also featured Lily, James and Remus. Peter Pettigrew also, though not as often as the others, was there.
After Andromeda made a pot of tea, they looked on through the album, with Judy asking Andromeda hundreds of questions about people or locations she didn't recognize.
'Wotcher!' Tonks' familiar voice called, as the front door fell shut. With a pang of guilt Judy looked at the clock and noticed she'd wasted the entire afternoon looking at old photographs, instead of finding out the right location for her vision.
'We're in the dining room, Nymphadora,' said Andromeda in her calm voice.
'Good afternoon,' said Tonks, smiling broadly as she entered the room. 'Ah, you gave them to her!' she said happily.
'Yes, we spent the afternoon looking through these,' said Andromeda warmly. Judy cast Tonks an apologetic smile.
'I bet there are loads of people and places in there that you didn't recognize,' said Tonks meaningfully. Judy looked down to see the album lay open at a page with a single picture in the middle of it.
A young Sirius, though not as young as he'd looked in the first picture, looked back at her. His smile was not a careless as Judy had seen in previous pictures and despite his effort to hide it, his eyes showed a hint of pain. He held a younger version of Judy in his arms, supporting her weight on his hip. She too had lost her carelessness, leaning heavily in her father's embrace as she smiled at the camera.
In the background stood a row of terraced houses, made of light bricks and with thatched rooftops. The flowerbed in front of the middle house only had light coloured flowers of blue, white and lilac. Even the fence, as opposed to the black and brown ones beside it, was painted white.
'Where…where is this?' asked Judy, keeping her eyes on the photograph.
'Let me see,' said Andromeda, taking the album from her to take a closer look.
'Ah, this is the house your parents bought after you were born,' Andromeda said. 'They lived there for a short while, before…before your father didn't think it safe any more for your mother and you to live there…'
'You mean before we moved in with my grandparents?'
'You remember…that…?' asked Andromeda carefully.
'I remember the night she was murdered,' said Judy truthfully. 'Remus told me the rest. But I am older in this picture and the way Sirius…this was after her death, wasn't it?'
'Yes,' confirmed Andromeda. 'I thought you knew…Sirius never moved out of that house. And after your mother and grandparents died, he took you back in.'
'So then…we lived there until…' Judy stopped talking and met Tonks' eyes.
'Until he was arrested?' Tonks finished, looking at her mother.
'Yes,' said Andromeda, unaware of the exchange of meaningful glances between the other two witches. 'Come to think of it, I have no idea what happened to that house after he was arrested….oh, dear,' she said suddenly. 'Look at the time. Your father will be home soon, I'd better get started on dinner.' She got up from her seat and hurried to the kitchen, quickly wiping away a tear Judy hadn't even registered.
'This is it, Dora,' Judy whispered, holding up the album.
'Are you sure?' asked Tonks, worried. 'You're only going to get one shot at this…'
'I'm sure,' said Judy with a smile. 'Remus told me Sirius became very protective of me after my mother's death. He would have tried to keep me hidden in that house.'
'OK, then that's were we will be going,' said Tonks.
'When?' asked Judy urgently.
'Tomorrow,' said Tonks, taking two tickets from her pocket. 'Tickets to a Muggle musical…I think it has something to do with cats.'
'And we're going?' asked Judy confused.
'Of course not, I bought these for my parents,' Tonks explained. 'My Mum loves musicals.'
'And your Dad?'
'Has no choice but to join her,' said Tonks with a grin. 'And with them gone, we'll have the entire evening for ourselves.'
'I know I don't say this enough…but, you're brilliant, Dora,' Judy said with a smile.
'Yes…you really don't say that enough,' she replied.
Judy noticed Tonks' hair turning bubble gum pink, before she looked back at the photograph. She felt as excited as Tonks as she looked at her parents' old house. Finally, after all those months she would prove her father's innocence to the entire magical world.
Despite the first signs of spring revealing itself during the day, winter's chill still clung onto the evenings and nights. Judy and Tonks stepped out of the house, wearing a thick winter coat, scarves and gloves. Duncan was half enwrapped in Judy's scarf as she held him close to her chest to keep him warm. He snuggled up against her as a chilly breeze touched his fur.
'He'll never forgive me,' said Judy, as she herself welcomed the warmth of her pet.
'I think he's warmer than we are,' said Tonks, rubbing her hands together. 'So,' she said, looking around the backyard and checking the windows to make sure none of the neighbours saw them. 'Are you ready?'
'I hate this,' said Judy, unable to withhold her protest.
'I know, but it's the fastest way,' said Tonks as she took her hand. 'It'll be over in a few seconds,' she added reassuringly.
Judy nodded and closed her eyes. She was enveloped by a suffocating darkness and she tightened her grip on her cousin's hand, making sure their connection remained intact. She held her breath as always, and only allowed herself to gasp for air as their feet touched solid ground.
'It's over,' said Tonks reassuringly, holding her hand for a few moments until she stopped shivering.
Judy opened her eyes and looked at their surroundings. They had Apparated in a dark corner of a dead end street; far away from the windows of the nearest house in front of them. The street light beside them wasn't on, which surprised Judy only for a few seconds, as she soon saw the amused look in her cousin's eyes. She must have been here before to make the necessary preparations.
'Come on,' said Tonks, walking away. 'We need to use every second we have.'
Judy followed her, still pressing Duncan against her chest, though this time more to protect her from the cold that started to grow within. She wasn't very much aware of her surroundings or the chilly temperature as she tried to catch up with her cousin. If anything she felt as if her senses were numbed. The strength of her Sight, however, seemed to grow with every step she took. And as the moment of truth now drew near, she wasn't sure whether she should welcome or fear the changes her body was going through.
Tonks made a left at the end of the street, disappearing from view for a few seconds, until Judy herself rounded the corner. The elder witch made an impatient gesture as she rushed onward, her eyes fixed on the terraced houses to their left. Judy followed her gaze as she still remained a few meters behind her, recognizing the dark fences from the picture she'd seen at her aunt's house.
She was so focused on finding the white picket fence that she didn't realise Tonks had stopped, until she walked into her.
'Jude!' Tonks hissed as she stumbled, but managed to remain on her feet.
'Sorry,' she whispered back, trying to calm Duncan who had been in between them as they collided.
'Well, we're here,' said Tonks, looking at the house in front of her with her hands on her hips. Judy followed her gaze and was disappointed to see how much the house had changed. It seemed that after Sirius' disappearance it was sold to a new owner, who had decided to change it so that it looked just like the other houses in the street. The white fence was painted dark and the beautiful flower bed had been replaced by dark stone; there was nothing left of the light her parents had brought to it.
'It looks nothing like my parents' house,' said Judy, suddenly feeling emotional.
'It's changed,' Tonks agreed. 'Do you think that'll be a problem?'
'No,' said Judy truthfully. 'I just hoped…can we get inside?'
'What?' asked Tonks taken aback. 'No.'
'But,-'
'There are people living in there, Jude,' said Tonks quickly.
'They don't seem to be home,' said Judy, looking at the darkened windows. 'There's no light burning…'
'Well, may be that's because we waited till midnight to leave the house, so we wouldn't run into anyone in this street and they have long gone to bed!'
'I only get one shot at this, Dora,' Judy pleaded.
'Yes, and, if for some reason, that shot goes wrong, I don't want to have to explain it all to a family of Muggles,' Tonks said. 'How do you think that will look at the Ministry?' Judy bit her lip, for the first time realising how much risk she'd asked her cousin to take.
'You're right. I'm sorry,' she said, taking Duncan from her scarf. 'I'll do it from here.'
'Good,' said Tonks. 'Now, do you have everything with you?' she asked, taking the cat from Judy. The younger witch searched for her necklace and rolled the red coral pendant in between her fingers. She then took Charlie's picture from her pocket, trailed his face with her fingers and placed it under her scarf, close to her chest. From her other pocket she took the picture of Sirius holding her as a young girl in front of the house where she now stood.
'Please, help me,' she whispered, blinking back a tear as she put the picture back in her pocket. She then walked over to the house, turned around and sat down, pressing her back against the dark fence. 'I'm ready.'
Tonks squatted in front of her. 'Are you sure?' Judy nodded. 'OK,' she handed Duncan to Judy. She felt a calmness descent over her and she noticed Duncan felt it too as she took him from her elder cousin.
'Dora,' said Judy, holding up Duncan in front of her. 'Should anything go wrong...'
'I'll be here,' she said warmly. 'I'll take care of you,' she promised, as her hair colour nearly faded to black. Judy only nodded.
She lifted Duncan so his eyes were at the same height as hers. Judy did her utmost not to blink as her blue eyes locked with Duncan yellow ones. She asked him to guide her, over and over again in her mind. She sensed he understood her request and it didn't take long before the vision washed over her and drew her in.
Rain lashed violently against the window panes of the small terraced house. Multi-coloured leaves danced in the air as the autumn gale continued as fierce as it had started that afternoon. Inside the house a dark haired man looked out onto the deserted street. Sirius drained the beer bottle with a final swig, his eyes still focused on the street before him as he put the empty bottle down on the side table.
He pressed his forehead against the coolness of the glass, in an effort to sooth the heat of his anger, bubbling inside of him. His eyes fell and he looked at the collection of empty bottles on the table, wishing he'd turned to cigarettes instead of alcohol to calm his tension. Then at least he wouldn't have to worry about being responsible and stopping before he got drunk.
'Responsible…' Sirius' lips curled up in a wry smile as he shook his head. He wasn't sure the word even existed in his vocabulary in his Hogwarts' days, when he was running around with his friends and getting in all sorts of trouble. Then it would never have crossed his mind to stop drinking, because he might get drunk or black out. He was fearless in those days, doing anything he bloody well wanted and accepting any challenge no matter how high the risk of getting caught.
But that had all changed on that hot summer night. When Briana lay in their bed, screaming and moaning as the contractions became more frequent. Sirius had been by her side, holding her hand and brushing away her hair from her flushed face while encouraging her to push just a little longer. With a final scream followed by a sigh of relief, Briana had fallen back on her pillow, finally giving in to her exhaustion. Sirius had praised her and kissed her forehead, whispering kind words.
He'd never forget the look of love in his girlfriend's eyes as she held their daughter. Nor the feeling in his own heart as he looked down on Briana and Judy, as he looked down at his family. He'd sworn then to never let any harm come to them, to protect them no matter what the cost…even if it meant his life.
Sirius brushed away a tear from his cheek, wishing as always that he'd never left them alone that night. That he'd decided to check on them just to make sure they were safe, that he would have been there to save Briana's life.
'Padfoot!' Sirius closed his eyes as he heard her scream, afraid that another aching heart would be too much for him to handle, afraid that by seeing the sadness in his daughter's eyes his own tears too would spill freely. 'Padfoot!'
'I'm coming, sweetheart!' He called, turning on his heels and heading for the stairs.
The little girl sat in her bed with widened eyes, looking frantically around the darkened room. 'Padfoot!' she wailed, staring into the darkness with her back pressed against the wall. Tears spilled over her cheeks as the images of her dream still flashed before her eyes. 'DADDY!', she screamed at the top of her tiny lungs.
'I'm here,' Sirius burst through the door, whipping his wand and igniting every light in the room. 'I'm here, sweetheart,' he said, walking over to her and scooping her up from the bed. The dark haired girl trembled in his arms.
'Daddy…' she sobbed on his shoulder, clinging onto him as if afraid to lose him. 'He found me…' she said, terrified. 'He looked under the bed…'
'He didn't find you,' said Sirius soothingly, holding her tightly. 'They'll never find you.'
They both looked up, startled, as the doorbell rang.
'That's him…' she said hoarsely.
Judy stepped into the small bedroom, looking at the scene with tears in her eyes. She'd been observing her father, only guessing about his internal struggle as he'd stared out of the living room window. Now she clearly saw what her mother's death had done to them. How her younger version clung to her father as if she would lose him at any moment. They were broken…already, she thought as she remembered what was still to come.
'No sweetheart, it's Lily and James,' said Sirius, nonetheless tightening the grip on his wand. 'I told you they'd be coming over tonight. Now, if you'll just,-'
'No!' said the little girl quickly. 'Don't leave me alone.' Her pleading eyes met his and Judy now noticed Sirius' eyes were moist as well.
'All right,' he said, placing her on his hip. 'I'll take you downstairs so you can see it's them, but then you're off to bed.' The dark haired girl only nodded.
Judy followed them down the stairs and through the narrow corridor of the small house, aligned with several pictures of her father, mother and their friends. There were none of herself, which was no surprise since her parents had always kept her a secret from the wizarding world.
'Who's there?' Sirius asked cautiously.
'It's us, Padfoot,' said a male voice. Sirius undid several locks and opened the door. The younger version of Judy buried her face in her father's dark hair.
James and Lily stood closely together under an umbrella shielding them from the rainy autumn weather. Under Lily's coat an odd lump stirred slightly.
'Hi there, mate,' James said with a fading smile as he noticed the little girl in his best friend's arms.
'What's wrong?' Lily asked apprehensively.
'She's had a nightmare,' Sirius explained as he stepped back to let his friends in.
'Does she have them often?' asked Lily concerned.
Sirius met her green eyes, unable to hide the sadness in his. 'It's the first of October…two years since…' he broke off, looking sideways at a picture of Briana in her Hogwarts' years.
'I'll take her back to bed,' said Lily as she allowed James to help her out of her coat. 'I need to put Harry down, anyway,' she continued as a small dark haired baby boy was revealed from under the coat. 'I hope you don't mind I brought him along, I hate leaving him with others these days.'
'I understand,' said Sirius, remembering how Briana had always refused to let Judy out of her sight whenever times seemed dark.
'Are you sure you'll manage?' asked James, worried.
'Of course we'll manage,' said Lily with a smile. 'You're old enough to help me with Harry, aren't you Judy?' she asked, meeting the young girl's blue eyes. She only nodded.
'All right then, you go with your aunt Lily,' said Sirius, kissing her and hugging her again. 'And if there's anything wrong, we'll be right down here, OK?'
'OK,' said the little girl, allowing her father to put her on the ground.
'Off we are then,' said Lily with a smile, following the little Judy as she walked toward the stairs.
'Good night, uncle James!' the girl called over her shoulder.
'Good night, sweetie,' he said, as he hung up his and Lily's coat.
Judy stood behind Sirius as James turned from the coat stand and met his friend's eyes. She could tell by the look of sympathy in James' eyes that her father wasn't handling himself well.
'It wasn't your fault, Sirius.'
'That doesn't make the pain any less…' Sirius flipped his hair back. 'Firewhisky?'
'Yes, I could use one. Lily will take a pumpkin juice, she's still breast feeding,' he explained, following his friend into the kitchen. 'Are you sure you're OK?'
'Of course I am,' said Sirius as he poured the amber liquid in a glass. 'I'm not like this every night, Prongs.'
'I know, it's just…well, since we've been talking about going into hiding… since you've been talking about it…'
'It just reminds me too much of the dangers Briana was in…and now my best friends. Judy…' he sighed as he finished pouring the second glass. 'I don't know what I'd do if,-'
'That's enough, mate,' said James as he walked to the refrigerator. He reached in and pulled out a pitcher of pumpkin juice. 'We can't lose hope,' he said as he took a glass from the cabinet. 'Briana never lost it and she always knew what was coming…'
Sirius smiled as he stared at his glass of Firewhisky. 'She was strong, James. She gave me strength whenever I lost mine…'
'She gave us all strength,' James cast Sirius a small smile. 'It's a shame we only realised that when she was gone.'
'I realised a lot of things after she was gone…' Sirius let his right hand slide into his pocket and drew out a small black jewellery box. 'I'd been carrying this around for a month when she died…I just never…' his clenched the small box in a fist.
'Sirius,' said James warningly.
'I never had the courage to ask her!' he said angrily as he flung the box against one of the kitchen cabinets. 'I'm a coward, Prongs.' He said, before downing his glass in one. 'A pitiful coward…'
'A coward?' James asked. 'A coward? Sirius, you're the bravest man I've ever known. When Briana found out she was pregnant in our final year you stepped up and took your responsibility. You vouched to stand by her, no matter what choice she made. A coward would have run as far away from her as he could. You did the opposite.'
'Did I?' he asked bitterly. 'Was telling her I'd stand by her no matter what and then spending most of the week out with my friends a sign of courage?'
'We were out, because we had things to do for the Order,' James retorted.
'I failed her, Prongs,' said Sirius bitterly. 'I should have been there to protect her,
but,-'
'We were on a mission, Padfoot,' the other man retorted. 'And you took that mission to protect your family.'
'Yes, and even that went wrong,' James shook his head. 'He escaped, James. Hell, he might even have killed her!' Sirius looked down at his empty glass. 'I failed her.'
'Enough,' James said as he took the empty glass from his friend's hands. 'You've had enough for tonight, and I've had enough of your negativity. You're not thinking clearly, Sirius.'
'Oh, but I am,' he disagreed. 'I've been thinking on this for a long time.'
'On what?' asked James confused.
'On how I am to protect your family, when I wasn't even able to protect mine…' he said, his gaze suddenly turning clear as he looked at his best friend.
'Sirius,-'
'Please, James. Just listen to me,' he pleaded. 'I don't know if I could have protected her, may be I couldn't have…but that doesn't change the fact that I promised I would and that I failed to keep that promise. And it also doesn't change the fact that I have every intention of not making that mistake again,' he looked at the staircase as Lily came down.
'What's going on?' she asked carefully. 'I heard you shouting and throwing things…you do remember you have a little girl up there whose terrified?' she asked reproachfully.
'I do,' said Sirius honestly, locking his eyes with James. 'Voldemort will know,' Sirius continued. 'He knows we're best mates and he will know you two chose me…'
'Sirius,-'
'And when he does,' Sirius cut across James, 'he'll come looking for me and…'
'And he'll find you,' Lily said softly. 'And her.'
'I would never betray you,' Sirius said truthfully. 'And if it were only me, I wouldn't hesitate to do it. But I have to protect her.'
'I understand,' said James, running his fingers through his dark hair. 'I do…it's just…' he cast a hesitant look at Lily.
'What?' asked Sirius confused.
Judy stood close to the other three, her eyes widening as she realised what James was referring to.
'Briana said…' Lily started hesitantly. 'Briana told me once that when our safety depended on magic, we should trust you. Only you.'
'She did?' he asked, with a small smile. 'Well, then I suppose I'm asking you to do just that. Trust me and don't make me Secret Keeper.'
'But then, who?' asked James.
'Peter,' said Sirius quickly. 'Voldemort will never suspect him to be your Secret Keeper.'
'Peter?' asked Lily sceptically. 'Wouldn't Remus be a better option?'
'I think he's got enough on his plate, love,' said James. 'We shouldn't burden him even more with this.'
'Yes, I suppose you're right, but Peter…' Lily hesitated. 'Are you sure he's up for the job?'
'He's been a good friend to us over the years,' said James.
'I do not doubt Peter's loyalty to you,' Sirius backed his friend up. 'And he's kept Remus' secret through all these years.'
'Yes, I suppose,' said Lily, biting her lip. 'I just can't help but think that…I mean, what if Briana meant we should trust you to do this task? Only you, Sirius?'
'She would never have wanted me to risk Judy's life,' said Sirius.
'I know,' said Lily, still not looking convinced. 'It's just…'
'What choice do we have, love?' asked James. 'Wormtail is our oldest friend. Besides Sirius and Remus, he's the one I trust most.'
Lily waited before she replied. 'Yes…I suppose he is.' She looked at Sirius, with a small smile. 'We'll ask Peter.'
'Thank you, Lily,' said Sirius, sounding relieved. The red haired witch walked over to him and cupped his cheeks.
'You're a wonderful father,' she whispered, before hugging him. 'Never doubt that.'
Sirius hugged her back tightly, welcoming the comfort she was offering him.
Judy stood in the corner of the room, her cheeks stained with tears as she watched her father and his friends. She felt sad, knowing what peril lay ahead of them and not being able to warn them. She felt glad, knowing how much she was loved by him. But most of all she felt relief, knowing that her father had never betrayed his best friends…knowing her father was innocent.
'Judy?!' Tonk's voice cut through the silence like a knife.
Judy suddenly felt as if there were strings attached to her, trying to pull her away. She struggled, fighting them off as she tried to hold onto the memory.
'Jude, please,' Tonks pleaded. 'Something's wrong…'
She barely heard the urgency in her cousin's voice, as she stood in the corner of the room and saw how James put his hand on Sirius' shoulder. She couldn't leave without warning them, but as she opened her mouth no sound came out.
'Judy!' said Tonks in a high pitched voice. 'Please…please come back!'
The strings pulled harder and for the first time Judy noticed she was shaking. Suddenly she felt tired, exhausted and cold. Something was wrong, very wrong, she realised as a sense of urgency now dawned on her.
She leaned back, giving into the tugging of the strings and allowing them to pull her away from the scene. She held her breath and closed her eyes, waiting for reality to replace the vision. Any moment now, she would feel the cold curb below her and the hard steel against her back, and it would all be over. She'd tell Tonks everything she'd seen and she would go with her to Lupin and Dumbledore and explain it all. Everything would be all right, she thought with a smile. Everything…
Judy opened her eyes…only to discover she was floating in a void. There was nothing but darkness around her. No images, no sounds…only darkness and cold.
Fear gripped her heart as she realised what had happened. She failed…all was lost.
He Apparated in a dead end alley, not caring about who saw him. As soon as he'd heard the news he'd rushed out of Hogwarts' castle, ran through the grounds and as soon as he'd reached the winged boar gates he Apparated as close to the hospital as he could.
He quickly walked out of the alley and rounded the corner. Nearly knocking over several Muggles he passed, and not caring one bit, he briskly made his way to the abandoned red brick department store. He stopped in front of Purge and Dowse Ltd. where a sign saying 'Closed for Refurbishment' made sure Muggles paid no attention to the store. He looked over his shoulder, his mind clear enough to check if any Muggles were watching him. Then he looked at the dummy dressed in an outdated style and asked him to let him enter. Barely a second later he walked straight through the glass window.
Inside there was a reception area filled with rickety wooden chairs. He was in such a hurry, he nearly collided with the witch welcoming the visitors. He didn't even register how she looked as he rushed passed her.
'Sir, can I help you?'
'No, I know exactly where I'm going,' he said annoyed.
He made his way to the stairs and ascended them two steps at a time, pushed forward by the adrenaline rushing through his veins. Mostly caused by the feeling of pure dread that had taken hold of his heart as soon as he'd listened to Andromeda, who had appeared in his hearth at Hogwarts without warning.
He pushed open the fourth floor door with such force, that it banged against the wall. Several Healers and patients looked in his direction, startled. Again, he barely registered them, and again he didn't care.
'Remus!' He looked to his right as he heard the familiar voice. Ted Tonks waved at him from the end of the hallway and he hurried over to him.
'Where is she?!' Lupin asked hoarsely, only now feeling the distance he'd crossed since he left his office.
'In there,' he said, gesturing at the door to their left. 'The Healer is with her. She asked us to wait outside.'
'Us?' asked Lupin confused, looking around.
'Andromeda took Nymphadora to the Tea room,' Ted explained. 'I think it was all too much for her.'
'I want to talk to her, Ted,' said Remus, his voice strained.
'She thought she was helping her, Remus,' Ted explained. 'Judy was going to do it anyway, Nymphadora just wanted to make sure,-'
'Dora should have known better,' said Lupin bitterly. 'She knows what happened to Judy last time, how we barely…' he ran his fingers through his greying hair as he tried to still his emotions. Ted put a hand on his shoulder.
'She's in good hands, Remus,' he said in an effort to comfort him.
'She shouldn't be here in the first place,' Lupin said through gritted teeth.
'Remus?' He looked up at the sound of the fragile voice. Tonks looked back at him, her eyes bloodshot from her shed tears. Her hair as dark as the night. Andromeda walked beside her, a protective arm around her daughter's waist.
Lupin moved, but Ted quickly held him back. Tonks evaded his gaze as she stopped a few meters away from him. 'How…' he said with a trembling voice. 'How could you?'
'I'm sorry,' said Tonks hoarsely. 'I'm so sorry.' Andromeda cast Lupin a reproachful look as she drew her sobbing daughter in her embrace. 'I only wanted…I only wanted to help…'
'Help?!' Remus exclaimed. 'Help her to do what? Kill herself?' he said in a cruel tone. 'If she dies, Dora,-'
'Enough!' Andromeda said sharply. Lupin looked at her, his eyes ablaze with anger.
They all looked sideways as the door to Judy's room opened. Lupin only now recognized the red haired Healer coming out of the room; it was Willow's mother.
'Hello, Remus,' said Jessica Waters.
He looked back at her, his body tense. 'How…I mean…will she…' he said hoarsely, not daring to ask the question.
Jessica looked at him for a moment. 'We tried to bring her back. I cast every spell I could think of. But…I'm sorry, Remus. She won't wake.' Lupin bit back his tears as his heart froze.
'But surely, there must be something…' said Andromeda, a sound of despair colouring her voice.
'I wish there was,' said Jessica seriously. 'But I'm afraid we've done all we can.'
'No…No…NO!' said Lupin, overtaken by emotions. 'She can't be,-'
'She's alive, Remus,' said Jessica quickly. 'And she's stable….but she's also lost.'
'What do you mean by lost?' asked Ted Tonks confused.
'She is stuck, somewhere between the vision and reality. Her cat gave her the strength to find her way to her vision, but she didn't have enough strength nor mastery of her power to find her way back.' She looked at each of them with a grave expression. 'I've done everything in my power, but magic can't save her.'
Lupin looked through the small glass window to the pale fragile girl in the hospital bed. He didn't speak as he turned his eyes on Tonks, who still stood in her mother's embrace. Though he was more angry with her than he'd ever been with anybody in his life, he couldn't help but admire her courage as she met his gaze and didn't turn away her teary eyes. He still felt a need to yell at her, to blame her for taking Judy away from him…but he knew her heart was as broken as his and he couldn't live with himself if he inflicted even more pain.
'Can I see her?' he asked hoarsely. Jessica nodded.
'But no more than two visitors at a time. She needs her energy.' she said seriously. 'Now please excuse me, I have to make my rounds.'
'Of course,' said Lupin. 'Thank you for everything you've done.'
'Remus, if it's all right with you, I won't tell Willow about this just yet,' said the red haired witch. 'I think she's had a rough couple of months and…'
'Of course,' said Lupin in understanding, remembering how he'd found Willow when she found Judy unconscious in the castle. Jessica smiled before turning and walking away.
'I ehm…I think I'd better go home and get some rest…' said Tonks distractedly, turning on her heel and walking away from them.
'I'll look after her, sweetheart,' said Ted Tonks, quickly kissing his wife on the cheek and hurrying after their daughter.
'Andromeda, if you don't mind, I'd like a few moments alone with her,' said Lupin.
'Of course. I'll fetch us some tea,' she said.
'I'm…I'm sorry I,-'
'You only said those things because you care about Judy,' she said. 'But if you ever talk to my daughter that way again…' she said meaningfully, not finishing the sentence as she turned and walked away from him.
Lupin looked after her, before taking hold of the doorknob and slowly opening the door. His breath caught in his throat as he now looked directly at the girl he'd grown to consider as his own daughter. She lay peacefully, her rosy lips standing out against her pale complexion and showing just a hint of a smile. Her long wavy black hair framed her face beautifully and it reminded Lupin of a girl from a Muggle fairy tale he'd once heard. He believed her name had been Snow white.
Lupin sat down on the chair beside the bed. He took one of her hands in his, and gently rubbed her arm as he noticed how cold her skin was. With his other hand he brushed away a stray black strand from her face, arranging the black curtain back into perfection. He looked at her closed eyes, wishing more than anything that he could look into those blue irises one more time.
'I'm so sorry, Briana,' he said, finally allowing his tears to spill. 'I failed you…I failed all of you.' He said, caressing Judy's cold cheek as he thought back on their goodbye a week ago.
He leaned over and pressed a long kiss to her forehead. 'I love you too, sweetheart.'