Meadowlark Assisted Living 2017

Eva stretched and reveled in the feeling of Lainey asleep on top of her. Sleepovers were strictly against the rules in Meadowlark, but she and Lainey had fallen asleep watching reruns on her laptop just after lunch. Eva knew she was breaking the rules, but when the nurse came in to check up on them, the pleading look on Eva's face was enough for the nurse to turn a blind eye.

She was grateful for the chance to wake up wrapped up in Lainey's arms again. A smile of contentment fluttered on her face as her fingers stroked Lainey's hair. She kissed her forehead gently rousing the woman. "We have to get up, Lainey."

Slowly Lainey began to stir. She groaned into Eva's chest and picked up her head. Her eyes were squinted as she took in the room. A bit of drool was dried on Lainey's lips, and Eva wanted to laugh. It was like waking up at home.

But her stomach dropped as she noticed Lainey pull away more quickly than she anticipated and saw the way green eyes shifted around the room in fear.

"No, Lainey, it's okay," Eva rushed to explain.

Lainey shook her head and pushed away from Eva, nearly knocking her off the bed. "Who are you?!"

Eva straightened and held her hands out cautiously. "Sweetheart, it's me. It's Eva." Her voice croaked as Lainey continued to shake her head. "Don't you remember me?"

"Get out. Get out of here. Get out!" Lainey yelled so loudly Eva jumped.

"Lainey…"

"Leave!" Lainey took a hurried step forward, her arms outstretched like she was going to push Eva out if she had to, but her foot caught on the bed and she stumbled forward.

Eva rushed to catch her before she hit the ground. "Baby, it's okay. It's okay. I've got you ."

Lainey was having none of it. She pushed Eva away so fiercely, the woman nearly fell backwards. Lainey reached for a pillow and threw it then reached for her tin can of paint brushes and hurled it at the wall. The door burst open and two nurses rushed in, making a beeline for the distressed woman.

Tears streamed down her face as she watched them hold her arms down and prevent her from throwing anything else. The nurses didn't take into account all the morning runs and yoga that Lainey did nearly everyday for the past twenty years because she was able to push one off and began storming towards the center of the room. The nurse rushed and pushed Eva out the door, slamming it shut behind her.

Eva sobbed as a loud thud knocked against the door from inside Lainey's room. It wasn't a good day. It had started off as a good day, but somewhere between watching reruns and napping, the good day had gotten so, so bad. She should have known when the nurse mentioned that Lainey might not be up for visitors today, but Eva was always known to be a bit stubborn. She wanted to see Lainey, however she was.

The actress hadn't remembered her. Eva was used to the foggy look in Lainey's eyes as her memory clouded in a permanent swirl, but this time, green eyes were lighting with anger. Anger at her. Anger at the world. She choked back a sob and let her back fall against the closed door. She slid down and hugged her knees to her chest.

It never got easier.

The Beach House 2016

Eva was numb. That was the only word she could use to describe how she felt. She didn't understand why Lainey wasn't more upset by this; she didn't get how she could pretend this wasn't happening. But it was. It was happening in front of them, and Eva was too stupid to notice. She saw the signs of early onset Alzheimer's, and although she never had a name for it, she knew they were there. The memory loss and the mood swings - it was all there.

She sat on the bed, hands shaking as she tried to read the pamphlet in her hands. Her tears were clouding her vision too much that the words just weren't forming. Blinking them away, she opened the pamphlet and began reading the symptoms and what to expect in the coming years. Language and vision problems, changes in personality and behavior, prone to infection and disease that can lead to - Eva gasped and dropped the pamphlet on the ground.

This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening to them. Lainey was young. She was so young. They just started their life together. It wasn't fair!

A sob ripped from her throat as she screamed out in frustration.

They just started their forever at the beach house. They were supposed to grow old here. She ripped the sheets from the bed and threw one of the pillows against the wall, rattling the wall sconce beside the bed. She reached for the jewelry bowl on their nightstand and chucked it, the glass breaking, tossing earrings and necklaces around the room.

Another scream pierced the air as she cried, imagining Lainey in a hospital room, not remembering who she was, or who they were, or what they meant to each other. Her knees trembled and gave way. She crashed to the floor in a mess of sheets and glass as the tears continued to fall.

"Hey," a soft voice called. "Baby, it's okay."

Lainey's familiar arms wrapped around her and hugged tightly as if her arms alone could stop this nightmare they were having.

"I've got you, baby. It's okay, I'm here," Lainey promised. Her lips pressed against Eva's temple, but Eva continued to cry.

She shook her head and clutched Lainey's arms. "No, you're not. You won't be here forever. We were supposed to be forever. We were supposed to grow gray together and sit on that porch sipping wine forever. This was it for us, Lainey! This home was supposed to be just you and me. Who's going to be here to wake me up at a godforsaken hour for sunrise yoga or catch me when I'm doing that damn tree pose?"

A sad smile came across Lainey's lips as she shifted Eva in her arms. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and though it was their gesture, the move made Eva's lip quiver and a whimper escaped. Mascara ran down her face from the tears, and it hurt just having Lainey look at her like she was the only thing in this world.

Green eyes watered, making them shine like the ocean they had always longed to escape to. "You are so beautiful."

"Don't do that now, Lainey," Eva weeped. She tried to wipe her face, but Lainey held her back.

"I want to memorize this."

"Don't remember me like this."

"I'm remembering you as loving, kind, and the most compassionate human being I've ever met in my life." She brought Lainey's hands up to her lips and kissed them. "I know. I may not be there for you, but I swear if I could, then I would. There's nothing I want more in this world than you, and I-"

Tears choked Lainey just the same, and soon the two women were sprawled on the floor, crying into each other's necks. It was true that Lainey had more time to process, knowing full well that the odds of her getting Alzheimer's were a fifty percent chance, but suffering the news together - that took a toll on the two of them.

"I love you," Eva whimpered, clutching the back of Lainey's neck like a lifeline.

"I love you." Lainey pressed her lips against Eva's in a firm but watery kiss. "I promise you I'll fight this as long as I can. I don't want to be anywhere where you're not. You're it for me."

"You're it for me too," Eva promised.

Lainey nodded, fighting through the tears to muster up a small smile. She reached out to wipe at Eva's face once more, and this time she let her.

Eva's Home 2006

Early mornings were always revered in the Morales household. The warm pink of the sky would crack just behind the ocean horizon, and the song of the birds singing melodiously would fill the otherwise quiet morning with a sense of serenity. It was a time where there was no one else in the world.

Eva, however, rarely witnessed these moments. A go-getter she may be, the woman barely functioned without at least two cups of coffee and needed the clock to reach the double digits. She was more a night owl than anything, so despite the serenity of the mornings, she opted for the comfort of her bed.

The banging on her door said otherwise.

Eva groaned and shoved her face further into her pillow, hoping that whatever solicitor was at her door would get the memo and know she wasn't interested in whatever they were selling. Still, the knocking continued then escalated to the constant trill of her doorbell.

She banged her pillow with a closed fist and brushed back the tangled mess of her glued to her face. "Someone better have a death wish," she muttered as she whipped the comforter off and stood.

Dressed in shorts and a tank, she stormed down her stairs and yanked open her front door, murder in her eyes.

"What?" She hissed.

"Well good morning to you too, sunshine." Lainey stood outside her door, a sheen of sweat glistening from her forehead. She wore a work out t-shirt and jogging pants, and she was so very awake. Her saving grace was the to-go mug of coffee in her hand.

Eva dropped her head against the door frame and shut her eyes. "What did you do? What fire do I need to put out?"

Lainey laughed. "Can't I just pop by for a visit?"

Eva brought her watch up to her face and nearly cried. "It's not even 5! The moon is still out!"

Lainey offered the coffee. "You asked how I look so good so I'm here to show you how."

Eva took the coffee and took a long gracious sip. "I was really looking more for tips or advice. Nothing hands on."

Lainey's eyes zeroed in on her rumpled form, and Eva felt less than attractive. She shifted from foot to foot and self-consciously brought an arm around her middle, but that didn't stop the look in Lainey's eyes.

"I kind of figured you would like the hands on approach," Lainey said casually. She took a step back and motioned to her car in the driveway. "But if you'd rather a tip, I can-"

Eva held her hand up and took a deeper gulp of her coffee. "I don't do runs."

"Already did it," Lainey laughed. "Go get some gym clothes on. I'll just wait in the kitchen."

"Okay. Just give me five minutes."

Five minutes turned out to be fifteen where Eva overthought what she should wear and if she should wear makeup. It wasn't like it was a date. Any respectable date would show up when the sun was in the sky and when Eva was properly caffeinated. But she supposed she could make an exception for Lainey. Foregoing the makeup, she donned a pair of leggings and a t-shirt she normally used for sleeping. She met Lainey in the kitchen where the actress had knowingly made her another cup of coffee.

She sipped it as they ventured out of her home. A moment of surprise caught her when Lainey bypassed her car and took a path towards the ocean. The actress threw a knowing smile before she urged Eva towards the beach with a gentle tug.

By the time they reached the sand, she had finished her coffee and frowned at Lainey's silhouette in the still dark morning as she walked towards the water.

"You said to wear gym clothes!" Eva called to Lainey's retreating form. "I'm not wearing a bathing suit!"

"I wouldn't mind skinny dipping with you, but we don't need bathing suits." Lainey slipped her sneakers and socks off before letting her toes dig into the sand. "Now come on!"

Eva shook her head, both amused and more than slightly confused by the morning's events. Following suit, she slipped off her shoes and hurried to catch up to Lainey.

The actress stopped just shy where the water pulled in by the tide. She took a deep breath and inhaled. In that moment, her silhouette relaxed as if being out this early was enough to bring life into her. Eva couldn't help but take in her beauty. Lainey never failed to mention how beautiful Eva was, but the feeling was mutual. Lainey was gorgeous.

Suddenly green eyes open and squinted self-consciously. "What?"

Eva rolled a shoulder. "The view is already making up for the early morning wake up."

Lainey turned towards the horizon where the deep blue of the sky was starting to crack pink. "Isn't it wonderful?"

Eva's eyes stayed locked on Lainey's form. She nodded. "Yeah it is."

Turning excitedly, Lainey clapped her hands and held Eva around the shoulders. "Ever done sunrise yoga?"

"I've barely done regular yoga."

"You'll love it," Lainey promised. She motioned to an area on the sand and smoothed it out for the two of them. "It really connects you to the earth."

"See here's the thing, I'm not all that flexible or have the greatest balance." A gust of wind swept Eva's hair up. When she tugged a strand away from her face, the hooded look on Lainey's face didn't go unnoticed.

"You'll do great."

It was relaxing, Eva had to admit as she mimicked Lainey's moves. Starting with sun salutation, they continued various yoga poses for ten minutes. Eva's struggle began with the upward and downward dogs - the sand loved getting into her mouth. Nothing was more embarrassing though then when she attempted crow. Her knees were barely on her elbows when she faceplanted into the sand. That made Lainey cackle in the early morning light. The way that her face lit up was worth the second of pain and embarrassment.

They were coming up from their swan dive pose when the pink crack of the horizon was glowing brighter and brighter with every passing minute. She almost forgot to focus on her balance for the warrior pose as the sunrise captivated her attention. Even more so, she loved the way Lainey's eyes closed and her chin tilted up as if accepting the glowing rays of the sun.

Watching Lainey made her lose her focus as they were starting to do the tree pose. Her left foot was wobbling in the sand, and her right refused to stay still on the inside of her thigh.

"Woah!" She stumbled onto the sand.

"I had trouble with this one too," Lainey offered and easily escaped her position to stand in front of Eva. She brought Eva's hands up to her shoulders to steady her. "Now lift your foot and place it on your thigh."

Carefully, Eva followed her advice, but it was difficult to do that with Lainey staring at her lips. She really should have put makeup on. She must look like a mess.

Lainey tucked that pesky strand of hair the wind kept catching and tucked it back behind her ear. "See, you're doing it."

"You're a good teacher."

"Or maybe I just like the excuse of holding you."

Eva bit her lip at Lainey's flirtatious comment, but it was her fingers stroking up and down Eva's arms that had her heart beating triple time. It was no Hollywood secret that Lainey Allen was a flirt; already Eva had to dispel a rumor or two. This time was different though. It wasn't just some playful comment that Lainey was quick to respond to. Her eyes told a different story as they searched Eva's. It was like Lainey was looking for something, confirmation that her feelings were reciprocated or just a sign that this wasn't one-sided. She must have found it as Eva blushed, her cheeks dimpling in a smile as she dropped her chin to look to the ground, because Lainey picked her chin back up between her fingers and made them eye level.

Eva's breath hitched. For a second, she thought Lainey was going to lean in for a kiss, and at this rate, she was going to let her. But then Lainey playfully rapped her cheek with her knuckles and shook her head as if amused with herself. "You know I love it when you do that."

Eva laughed and slowly brought her hands down from Lainey's shoulder and brought them to prayer. "Settle down, tiger. It's not like this is a date or anything."

Lainey shook her head with a grin. "I don't know. Beautiful woman on a beach at sunrise? Sounds like a perfect date to me."

"And there's your problem," Eva teased. "It's too damn early."

Lainey laughed out loud and resumed her own tree pose. "I like to seize the day, that's all."

"You can seize it after noon."

Lainey hummed and shut her eyes once more. Her hands moved from prayer to above her head as if praising the sky above her. Eva wasn't at that skill yet. She could barely keep her balance with her eyes open. At least from this spot, she could appreciate the muscle straining in Lainey's leg as it kept balance and the even rise and fall of her chest as she synchronized the breathing.

Eva should have learned from the first time that Lainey was proving to be a huge distraction. Watching her body work through the move, Eva lost her footing once more and windmilled towards the ground.

Before she made contact, strong arms wrapped around her waist and held her up. As soon as she was stable enough, the first thing she was met with was Lainey stifling a giggle.

"I suck at this," Eva muttered, trying to straighten herself but the incoming tide made it difficult to maneuver. All it did was make her stumble more.

Lainey shrugged it off and squeezed her arms. "It's okay. I've got you."