A/N: Hey guys. Wow so much polarization in the comments. I'm happy to have written a story well enough to draw out such strong reactions. I like to write flawed people, because it feels more real that way and of course that leads to conflicts like this. I appreciate comments from either side of the spectrum and I read every single one at least twice. Everyone is allowed to have their opinion and I think about a lot of them when I write, but I'm true to character first and foremost – guess you'll just have to see where that takes them ;) Thanks again for reading!

They took Cage to the nurse the next morning. Misty sat in the passenger's seat with the inconsolable little boy, as Cordelia drove the car. They said nothing to each other, but tried their best to soothe Cage. Misty still hated cars, but she had grown accustomed to them over the years, and she had no time to get travelsick with the boy withering in her arms, stealing her attention.

Cordelia parked, took the bag out of the car and she motioned as if to take Cage too, but thought better of it. Misty propped him up on her hip and carried him instead.

"I hope it's not an infection", Cordelia said as they walked towards the hospital.

"It's not", Misty simply answered. She would have known.

Cordelia gave her a look. "I know you can tell the most, but there are things you can't detect. I just worry, with him being born three weeks early. I know I worry too much."

Misty would still know, but she didn't say that. She knew Cordelia knew it anyway and part of this trip was her wish to appear normal. To protect Misty and her abilities by doing what a normal family would do when the pup is sick; go to the doctor. Cage had so few visits, because Misty mostly took care of it, but once in a while Cage got to see a doctor or the nurse. Often it was when Cordelia's dark thoughts took over and made her question everything.

"It's fine, Delia. But you know the early birth don't mean nothin'. The doctors made sure."

"Yes, I know…" Still she doubted, Misty could tell. She thought of what Fiona had said about a mother's love being irrational sometimes and decided not to say anything.

Emily greeted them soon after they had signed him in. The young nurse smiled and waved them over.

"If it isn't my favorite couple. The doctors are busy today but I had a free hour, so I'm all yours. Come on in."

They sat down in the small examination room and Cordelia started to explain Cage's symptoms. Cage only whimpered now and pressed himself into Misty, trying to hide away from the nurse. He would much rather be home, sleeping in his own bed. He looked up at Misty with wide, glossy eyes as if to ask why she wouldn't fix him like she used to.

"Just a quick check and then we're home, pup", Misty told him and gave him an apologetic smile. She ran a hand through his blond, delicate hair and felt the feverish heat come off him.

Emily neared with the equipment. "I'll be very quick, I promise. If I find anything suspicious I'll call for a doctor, but it sounds like a standard bug." Cordelia nodded and Emily stepped close, bowed down over Misty to look at the boy in her lap. She took Cage's temperature, looked him in the ear and checked his breathing. When she stood up a sudden pain erupted from Misty's scalp and she hissed.

"Oh sorry, Misty! Your hair got caught in my watch." Emily smiled apologetically and carefully removed the hairs dangling from her watch. Misty brushed it off and tried not to look too annoyed. She too would much rather be at home. Better yet, back in her swamp where there wasn't all these worries.

"Well", Emily said, breaking her miserable train of thoughts. "There's nothing suspicious here. And he's so rarely sick, so I wouldn't worry. If the fever continues for more than a couple of days, you should talk to the doctor, but I'm sure he'll be just fine. No need to worry." She added the last while looking at Cordelia. She knew who was the worrier of the family, no doubt thinking back to when they first met. Emily was the nurse who oversaw them during many of Cordelia's pregnancy checkups and she was there the first day Cordelia came in. Cordelia had been so afraid to believe the pregnancy would succeed that she broke down crying at the first ultrasound, shaking and begging to leave, until Misty calmed her and convinced her to fight the fear. She hadn't wanted any remotely invasive tests either. "I'll love this baby no matter what condition it's born with", she said every time someone asked. She trusted Misty to be her guidance for Cage's health. Apart from days like today that was.

"Thank you, Emily. We'll get him back to bed then."

"You do that. And I'm sorry for pulling out your hair, Misty." She looked truly sorry. Misty waved it off and couldn't help smiling. Emily reminded her a bit of Zoe. Or at least how Zoe was before Kyle died and came back.

As they drove home and Cage gave in to his exhaustion, a heavy silence fell over them. Misty stole little glances at Cordelia, whose gaze was fixated on the road. As it should be, but still the intensity hinted of avoidance. Misty almost begged her to talk, but she knew it was no use. Cordelia seemed to determined to keep her words in until they choked her.

There was a moment after they got home, when Misty handed Cordelia the drowsy child and their eyes met and Misty was sure it was about to slip, but the connection broke and Cordelia went to put Cage to sleep.

The next day Cage's fever was down and he was a shiny new kid compared to the day before. Cordelia went to work and Misty stayed home with him. It was her early day at the bar, which meant that she also got home early, and Fiona would be gone, so they had the house to themselves. Except there would be no working today, because of Cage, which only made the day better for Misty. She played in the garden with him, even though she had promised Cordelia that he would get lots of rest. He would get his nap, but Misty secretly knew that nothing healed a bug like Mother Nature.

Zoe came and went as she pleased these days, keeping up her promise to take care of Kyle. Cordelia knew about Kyle in rough detail and she didn't ask for more. The details she had now was enough to make her nauseous. She didn't need to know about Kyle staying in her attic and so Misty didn't tell her. And Zoe made sure not to be seen by her when she came and left. She was here now, but had gone to the kitchen to get herself something for lunch. Misty sat in the garden with Cage, watching him walk around in his own little world. He had Cordelia's smarts for sure, always studying things. Both of his parents were book smart people so it made sense for him to carry on that trait. Misty only did what she could to make him at peace with nature as well, in a way none of his biological parents had ever been. Biology wasn't all, that much she knew. If it was and she was predetermined to be just like her own family, she wouldn't be alive now. And if she was, she would be on her knees praying to some God, whose servants would much rather have her torched at a bonfire than welcome her in their midst. Nature always wins, but that doesn't mean biology determines the fight.

She had succeeded a long way she thought; Cage wasn't afraid of the wild or the unknown. Now he waddled along in the nicely trimmed grass, running his little hand against the wall of the house. His head tipped from side to side, his mouth pressed together with concentration. He was humming. It was a tune Misty couldn't hear from this distance, but the music in his face didn't need lyrics or sound; Misty enjoyed it anyway.

A few feet ahead of Cage, a creek opened. The door to the attic staircase swung open and the sunlight bathed a pale, wretched shape of a person. The hum in his face was far more crude, far less peaceful.

Misty was out of the grass before she could think another thought.

Cage walked towards the creature of Kyle, wary but unafraid still. Kyle turned towards him, slowly, and stared down at the little figure. A chaos of thoughts worked behind his eyes, erupted as he raised his pale, waxy hand to slash.

Misty reached them then. She snatched the boy away before the lunge, held him tight to her chest and crouched to keep him protected, all the while keeping her eyes on Kyle. She hissed at him with the ferocity of a jungle cat, ready to scratch his eyes out if necessary. Kyle growled and the hate returned to his face at the sudden sight of Misty. Cage started to whimper in Misty's arms and Misty held him closer. Little fists grasped at her dress. Kyle snarled and moved half a step forward.

"Kyle no!" Kyle abruptly stiffened and lowered his hand. The hate in his eyes didn't quite fade, but he didn't lash out either. Zoe came running and jumped in between him and Misty. "Don't you touch them! Go back to your room!" Zoe's voice was high and shrill, but Kyle obeyed it. He backed away into the shadows of the staircase with next to no hesitation.

Cage started crying and Misty gently shushed him. She kissed the top of his head, but didn't dare take her eyes of either Zoe or Kyle. Zoe only watched Kyle, stared him down until he went back up the staircase and into the attic room. Zoe didn't move and only now did Misty notice that she was trembling.

But Misty had no room for feeling sorry for Zoe.

"What's he doing down here? You told me you had him under control!" She tried to keep her voice even, but it was impossible. She was shaking herself; aftershock from the sudden threat to Cage's little life.

"Mama you okay?" She turned him around in her arms so he could see her and he lifted a chubby little hand to her cheek.

"I'm okay, baby boy. Are you okay?"

He nodded. "That man was scary."

"I know. He won't scare you no more." She looked up at Zoe, who visibly cringed from her stare.

"I'm so sorry, Misty, I put a lock on the door, I-"

"You've seen how strong he is. Get him out of the house!"

Instead of tearing up more, Zoe's gaze turned dark and she said: "I don't know where to put him. I thought he was best off here, because you can sedate him. I'll be more careful."

"You better. If he so much as touches my son, I'll kill him." Misty hissed the words, not caring what of it Cage caught and marched into the house. She spent the rest of the day inside with him, getting other things on his mind and making sure he wasn't going to tell on them. He was a clever boy, but he was only three. His mouth couldn't always be controlled.

She played with him all day, kept his mind busy when Cordelia was there, so he wouldn't slip. Cordelia participated in the games a little, but mostly watched the two of them play. She let Misty put him to bed, spent only a few minutes alone with him when she said goodnight. Misty said a little prayer then, hoping Cordelia wouldn't find out. But she came out none the wiser, or Misty would have known. Her own brief panic would be a thin slice of nothing compared to Cordelia's.

Instead Cordelia announced that she was going to see Hank. A cold iron fist closed around Misty's heart at the mention of his name. She had forgotten that meeting. At first she said nothing, but as she heard Cordelia put on her coat, she couldn't endure it any longer. She went out to the hall.

"Please don't go", she said to Cordelia. She took her hand and held it tight, begged her.

"I only have to talk to him about his next playdate with Cage. And I promised to show him some of Cage's baby photos." She lifted a hand to Misty's cheek, stroked it with her thumb. "I won't be too long, I promise."

Misty shallowed the lump in her throat. Another icy hand had joined the first and latched itself around her throat, crushing all her words, but one: "Fine."

She stood back a few minutes later and watched Cordelia walk down the isle into the dark.

O0O

Cordelia took a deep breath before she knocked on the door. She wanted to run away. Maybe cling to the shadows of the hallway and disappear in them, so by the time Hank opened the door there would be nothing left of her.

But he did open and she was still there. She said a vague hello and went inside without touching him. A handshake would be too cold and anything more than that… she couldn't. He didn't object, only gave her a look that she wasn't sure she was meant to see and let her in. They sat down and discussed the plans like they were supposed to and Cordelia did her best to ignore his looks. The patience wasn't exactly a new thing with him, but it was a different kind of patience. He used to have a patience with her, only now he was downright willfully blind to certain things. As if he just ignored the signs, he didn't like and waited for her to show good ones.

At one point he laid a hand over hers and asked: "Are you okay?"

She snatched it right back. "Of course I'm not okay. Keep your focus. If you go by the park, don't stay out to more than six, okay?"

He nodded, kept his hand away from the table and asked if he could see the baby pictures instead. Cordelia gave him a stiff nod and took out the photo album.

She resumed the distance, but slowly she felt herself thaw out, open up as she explained the photos and spoke of Cage and the immensely short three years of his life that he had been fatherless. The subject provided safety and she told Hank of how he learned to walk, standing up against everything to earn balance. How his first steps were taken from a support of Fiona's leg and then two perfect steps into Cordelia's arms. Her heart almost cracked open with joy that day and now she found herself smiling at the memory.

"You should have seen Fiona's face. She looked almost as proud as he did himself. She likes to take credit, because she helped him stand up."

"I imagine she would spin it that way."

"She's not as bad anymore though, never as malicious as she used to be. Somehow Cage has brought out a kindness I was never able to drag out of her myself." She smiled at the notion, sighed with ease and then got up from the chair. "I should get home now. But it was nice to spend some time remembering. You can keep the album for a couple of days if you'd like. I've already looked at them so many times I practically have them memorized."

Hank got up too, more serious. "Don't go please. Stay here a while longer." And suddenly the icky tension was back in the room. It had been creeping up until this moment, kept at bay by the joyous conversation, but now rapidly leapt at them. Cordelia shook her head, when he took a step closer.

"I won't, Hank. I promised not to take too long."

"An hour is all I'm asking."

"No it isn't."

He sighed. "You're right. It isn't." He took a quick step forward and kissed her. His hands locked around her jaw with all his passion, but there was no bubble of reminiscing this time, no memory of long lost love.

Cordelia broke the kiss. "Hank, no", she said and pushed him out at arms length.

"You said that the last time too, but think of where we ended." He stepped close again, but Cordelia shoved him away, harder this time.

"I said no!"

The light fell in his eyes. "Why? What happened since last time and now?"

"The regret hit me." The words hit him hard. They were harsh and they cut her throat on the way out, but she had to say them. Or he wouldn't get it. "It was wrong of me to let you. And it stops now."

"What do you mean it stops now? What stops? You and I belong together, Cordelia! We both know it!" His eyes flashed with desperation and a lump grew in Cordelia's throat, but she resisted the urge to run. She tried to think back to the last and only time she had given him a clear message like this. But she wasn't broken enough today to keep the waver out of her voice. There was too much emotion in it and she saw how Hank fed on it. He begged with his eyes and said: "You know we would have grown old together if it wasn't for her."

"I know", she admitted. "I'm sorry our lives changed, but it was bound to happen. She has always been a part of the story and I can't see you anymore, if this is how you're going to behave. I won't deny you seeing your son, but-"

"But I want you!" He shouted. The desperation turned to anger as she watched it, but what pierced her wasn't the tone of his voice. It was the way he dismissed Cage.

"Don't you care about your son at all?"

"Of course I care!" He continued to shout, effectively removing all sincerity from his voice. "But I want the package I was promised! That witch fucked it all up! And when she was in this position you didn't say no, so why the fuck is this different? We have history too, four years of marriage! Two years of being together before that! Or does that count for nothing, huh? You made no wows to that woman!"

She stared into Hank's face and found that at least his language hadn't changed much. She had resisted flight, but she couldn't hold the tears back. There was no stopping the guilt from washing through her, but she swallowed it, because his lack of interest in Cage drew out the distance Cordelia needed. She took a deep breath and then said, as calmly as her trembling voice allowed:

"Listen. I'm sorry it came to this. I can't forgive myself for being a person who does this. But being with Misty, even when I hurt you, was never a mistake. This was. I wish there was room for you both, but I know that can't be so. And I choose her, Hank. It's always been her. Even when I didn't know it."

He looked like she had hit him straight in the face with a curled fist. The shock, anguish and defeat fought for the front spot in his features for a few seconds, before he said anything.

"You can't be serious." His voice rang with disbelief, wavered like a leaf in the wind, ready to tear in half. His face looked suddenly empty. It hurt to watch, but she didn't take it in this time.

"I am serious. You can call if you still want to go through with the playdate, but don't call about anything else. It has to be like that. I'm sorry." Then she turned and left. She thought to take the photo album with her – in that moment she didn't feel like he even deserved to look at those baby pictures – but decided to leave it with him. She could claim the album later, when he had had the time to swallow the rush of emotion from this night. She hoped that maybe he would look at those pictures and think of his son, before he tried something foolish again.

She felt stronger tonight. Like a weight had been lifted, now that she had finally told him the truth. No that she had finally stopped her mindless walk down this cruel path. The first tears had dried on her cheeks and no new ones came. She was cried out over this now. She had realized he might not be the father picture after all and if her family portrait was broken anyway, she wouldn't regret leaving him for good. No matter the hurt in her chest.

Today she walked straight home. The sky was deep blue, not yet black. Cage would be in bed, but it wasn't late. There was still time for a good night. She had neglected Misty too much lately. Now she had to learn how to shallow the guilt and be a person again, for Misty's sake. And her own.

She locked herself into the house and walked the empty first floor. Fiona was at Cometh's tonight and it was like a ghost town down here at night. She couldn't see Spalding anywhere either. She wondered briefly if Misty had gone to bed already, but thought better of it. Instead she felt a nervous kind of tingle creep up on her. There was something in the atmosphere. Misty said she could taste things, emotions, in the air sometimes and this must be how it felt. It made cold run with her blood as she walked down the hall to their bedroom.

She found Misty sitting on the edge of their bed. Unfallen tears in her eyes and a look of confused devastation on her face.

Cordelia's heart immediately sank into the black abyss at the bottom of her chest. All color went out of the world.

"You know." She only had those two words to say and she choked them out as the sudden fall of her heart had knocked the breath right out of her.

Misty's voice was the deadest thing Cordelia had ever heard: "'Course I know, Cordelia."

A thousand thoughts rushed to her mind at once, impossible to sort out, but full of half-constructed, frantic ways of escaping what had just happened. As if she could somehow think up a way to annul this very moment, but didn't have the intellect to grasp the right thought and so the only words that came out of her mouth was: "For how long?"

It was the wrong thing to say of course. Nothing could have been worse. The admission was final and it threatened to overflow the quivering tears in Misty's eyes.

"Since the first time", she said.

Cordelia's heart kept sinking. It went so far down she couldn't feel anything anymore and despair blossomed in its place like a rotten flower, growing too fast. Her hand came up to her mouth because the rapid growth made her feel like she was going to be sick.

"Oh my God… Misty, no, please hear me." She stretched out the hand then, carefully, afraid sudden movement would set off this explosive atmosphere. "There was no second time. There won't be. I told him no. There was no second, please believe me!"

But nothing she said could have stopped the tears from spilling over. Misty cried silently at first, looking hopelessly trapped, staring at Cordelia all the while. She never hid anything from Cordelia, not even this pain. And the pain was obvious. Cordelia was frozen to her spot, still terrified to move and could only watch the scene before her with abject horror. Then Misty asked: "Why was there a first?"

Cordelia opened her mouth, but no words came out. She wanted to excuse herself, at least explain, but all she had was I don't know and I hate myself and none of these seemed even close to a proper explanation. Truth was she had none and it terrified her to realize it. She just stood there and watched Misty cry. Misty gathered herself, took some deep breaths and asked: "Why did you do it? I used to always be able to tell why you did things, but this… no. You gotta tell me, 'cause I can't figure it out."

"I don't know", Cordelia whispered. She had nothing better and she didn't have the willpower to stop it from spilling out.

"You don't know?" Misty got up from the bed, rapid fire rising in her voice and flashing in her eyes. The tears made them sparkle with fury. "What do you mean you don't know? What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!" She yelled out the words from the distance between the door and the bed, for once not careful to keep her voice down. The tears kept streaming down and the more silence Cordelia offered the angrier she got. "Say somethin'!"

"I'm so sorry, Misty. I didn't mean to, I don't know what came over me. It will never happen again." Her voice wasn't more than a choked whisper. She reached out, hoping the submission of her position would prove the point that she apparently wasn't able to articulate. But Misty put up a hand and stopped her, flashy blue eyes hard and uninviting.

"That supposed to make me feel better? You betrayed me! And worst thing is I ain't supposed to feel so hurt, 'cause I've been on the other side. When this was Hank and now I know how he felt!"

"I never meant to make you f-"

"I hate him!" Misty screamed. "And you're makin' me feel sorry for him!" Her shrill voice cut through the room and Cordelia couldn't keep it in anymore. She fell back against the frame of the door and started sobbing, hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. She felt unattached from her own body, floating above it, yet her mind was so heavy it felt like fighting a war just to keep standing. Misty stared at her all the while, crying without covering it up. Her eyes were red and the fire slowly went out of them. Same with all the light.

Her voice was mellow – no, dead – and quiet when she spoke again: "It was different back then, I thought. 'Cause it was you and me, but I thought… I thought I was enough for you."

There was no pain Cordelia knew, which she could compare to the sound of the hurt in Misty's voice.

"You are- you are, please believe me", Cordelia said as steadily as the crying allowed her. "I didn't do it because I wanted him, I- I don't know how to explain it, it was all chaos and I lost control."

"That makes no sense to me." She sniffled once, dried her face with the back of her hand. "I think I gotta go." Finally she walked towards Cordelia, but it was the door she was headed for and then the panic struck. Cordelia reached out and grasped Misty's hand, held on to it with shaking hands and begged as if her life depended on it.

"Please don't go. Please, I- you should, I know, you have every right to walk out, but please don't leave me."

Misty looked down at their hands and then up. She looked exhausted and empty in a way that made Cordelia's chest feel like it was made of hard, cold chains all wrapped too tight in each other.

"I won't leave you", she then said with her ghost of a voice.

"Then where are you going?" Cordelia tightened the grip around Misty's wrist. It gave her no response.

"To my swamp."

"But you said-" She stopped talking, when Misty pulled her hand out of Cordelia's grasp. There was no resistance. As soon as Cordelia felt the hand slip away, her entire body gave up the fight. Her hands fell down against her sides, abandoned and useless.

Misty looked at her one last time. A new tear rolled out and down her wet cheek, but her voice was steady when she spoke. "I said once that if you ever chose him over me I'd be sad, but I'd forgive you eventually. And I will. But not today."

Then she left the doorway.

"Wait!" Cordelia shouted, and it made Misty flinch as if struck by something hard, but she didn't turn around. "Isn't there anything I can do?"

She heard Misty breathe a deep sigh. "Stay out of the attic", she said. Then she started walking again and soon disappeared from the floor. Cordelia listened for the front door to open and as soon as she heard it slam, she broke down.