Birds and Bees (takes place after Lord of the Flies)

"I think you look beautiful, Penny. Like Mother Earth," Amy cooed. Sheldon snorted. She looked liked the ghost of a beached whale. "Are you sure you're up to this?" Amy continued.

Their blonde friend reached down to rub her rounded frame as they walked to the dining room. "Sure. I feel great. And I'm beyond ready. We've been on hiatus for three weeks now, and I just feel like I'm spending all my time waiting. Although, not for long. If I don't go on my own this weekend, the doctor said we'd induce Monday."

Having reached the next to last paragraph in the chapter, Sheldon took a breath.

"Dad?" Ada suddenly asked, leaning against his shoulder in her bed. "I have a question."

"Yes?" He looked down at her, debating if this was a time he should talk to her about how rude it was to interrupt people. Sometimes, too often, on Friday nights, she allowed the immaturity of the other children to rub off on her and they returned home from Leonard and Penny's with someone other than their homo novus. And this week, especially, it had been near chaos in the playroom, as the newly placed Jane Austen bandage on her arm testified. However, if she had a question about the book - or science, of course - it behooved him to broker her curiosity.

"Where do babies come from?"

Sheldon dropped the book with a gasp. "What?"

Ada looked up at him. "Where do babies come from?"

"Uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . " Just at that moment he heard the sound of Amy's steps and he called out loudly, "Amy! Amy!"

The footfalls became a jog and Amy's face, her brow already deeply furrowed, appeared at the bedroom door. "What's wrong?"

"Uh . . . uh . . . " He pointed helplessly toward . . . nothing, really.

"Mom, where do babies come from? I think Dad doesn't know."

The last sentence struck Sheldon like a slap, and he blinked out of his trance and looked back down at his daughter. "Ada, I assure you I most certainly have experien -"

"Shh, Sheldon," Amy said quickly. He looked back at her as she approached the bed, how her face had shifted from a furrow to a twinkle in her eyes and the obvious biting of her lips. She brushed her hand against the bottom of his legs, and he moved them so she could sit on the edge of the bed. "Ada, where do you think babies come from?"

"Jacob says Aunt Penny has a baby growing in her stomach," she said.

"Ah, I see. Well, yes, Aunt Penny is growing a baby in her body. That's where babies come from, the mother works very hard for nine months to grow the baby," Amy said with a calmness and smoothness Sheldon envied. He knew he was staring at her, and he didn't care.

"In her stomach? With the food?" Ada asked.

Amy smiled. "No, not in her stomach. Remember when you learned about some of the organs in your body from your puzzle, like your stomach?" Amy touched her abdomen. "And your heart that beats and pushes the blood around?" She touched her chest. Ada nodded. "Mommies have another organ, a very special organ, where the baby grows. It's called the uterus."

"Girls have them but not boys?" Ada asked. "Like private parts?"

Sheldon wished he had another book to drop. When had that conversation happened? Frantically searched his memory, he realized that conversation must have occurred outside of his presence. He kept staring at Amy, so clearly in control of this situation, suddenly so overwhelmingly grateful to her that she had undoubtedly arranged it that way.

"Exactly," Amy said simply and, for the first time since sitting on the edge of the bed, flicked her eyes up to Sheldon's.

"Oh. Okay." He felt Ada shrug next to him, but he kept looking in awe at his brilliant, prepared, enlightened, and not the least embarrassed wife.

"Dad? Dad?" He shuddered back to the tugging on his tee shirt sleeve. "Keep reading."

"Oh, yes," he said, ignoring Amy's chuckle as she got up and walked away.

A few minutes later - and not a second too soon - Sheldon was able to extricate himself from the hothouse that was Ada's bedroom and run to the great room. Amy was in the dining area, standing at the table, folding laundry. He slipped his arms around her waist, leaning in close, squeezing her tight. "You're a genius, you know that?"

"That's why you married me," Amy said.

"That was so - so - well, brilliant doesn't seem to cover it," he said into her hair.

"Astute? Perceptive? Masterly? Nimble?" she replied, putting one of his tee shirts on the top of a very straight stack. Painfully straight, and she stopped to readjust it. Sheldon took a second to feel loved at how well she knew him.

"Mmmmm," Sheldon kissed her temple, just below the ear piece of her glasses, "you know how I love all of those things."

"Later." Chuckling, Amy pushed him away gently as she rotated in his arms. "Seriously, Sheldon, you cannot act that way when she asks you something uncomfortable. Don't act like it's dirty or taboo."

"But it is taboo to a three year old! And for, what?, the next thirty years or so?" Sheldon backed away further.

Amy smiled softly. "I mean that if you act that way, it only gives it power, making it seem tantalizing and mysterious."

"Expound," Sheldon said, crossing his arms.

"Well, hmm, it's like in all those gothic romances. You know, 'you can go anywhere but the east wing.' And where does the heroine invariably run the first chance she gets? Straight to the east wing." Her eyes brightened. "Like in all the Harry Potter's: don't go to the Forbidden Forest, don't go to the Shrieking Shack or Knockturn Alley. And they all end up there sooner than they should."

Sheldon tilted his head and considered the validity of her explanation. "What should I say? You've obviously been discussing procreation with her."

"No, not procreation. That was a first." Amy turned her hands out slightly. "But I answer questions when she asks. And I purposely bring up topics like modesty and privacy. What things she should discuss with us." Amy shrugged. "Just answer her question. It may be hard, but she isn't looking for and doesn't need a highly detailed scientific lecture right now. It might be helpful to ask what she thinks; that will give you a big clue to what type of answer she wants. Just calmly and simply answer her exact question, I guess. Don't worry about extraneous information right now."

Overcome with a feeling of indebtedness, Sheldon reached for her face and held her cheeks beneath his palms. "You're the wisest person I've ever met." He kissed her softly. "And, yes, that's exactly why I married you."

"Oh, look, Ada," Amy said, as she scanned her Facebook feed a few nights later, "Aunt Penny added new pictures of baby Fox."

She ignored the half-strangled noise Sheldon made every time the baby's name came up in conversation. ("Fox, like the animal?" he had groused. "Actually, Penny said Leonard picked it. I think it's after Fox Mulder. I thought you'd approve of such a source," Amy had replied with a smirk. "Hhmmpph," was his only reply.) Ada leaned over her lap as Amy tilted the iPad to show her the pictures. "Isn't he cute?"

"When do I get to see him?" Ada asked.

"Probably in a couple of weeks. Penny is very tired. She needs time at home with Uncle Leonard and Fenny and Frannie first. Everyone else is coming here Friday night for dinner to give them time alone. You'll like that," Amy explained. What she did not say was that she was going to Penny's, alone, tomorrow evening to share in the ritual of telling birth stories and to take great lungfuls of Fox's new baby scent and to allow herself some misgivings. Until she returned home to Ada and Sheldon, deep in the midst of some blithe activity; they would welcome her with matching silly grins, and any possible regrets she may have had would evaporate in an instant of love.

"Mom, how did the baby get out of Penny's uterus?" Ada asked.

"That's an excellent question, Ada. I think your father would love to tell you," Amy said, looking over the top of Ada head, to Sheldon pretending to flip through a comic book on the other end of the sofa, even though she was certain he was attuned to every word of their conversation. She saw his eyebrows dart up alarmingly high and then a huge, audible swallow.

"Dad?" Ada asked, turning and squirming closer to him.

"Uh, well, yes, that's an excellent question," Sheldon said, licking his lips. Amy smiled as he slowly lowered his comic book. Well, at least he'd managed a complete sentence. And he hadn't dropped anything yet. "Uh -" his eyes flicked up to her and she nodded quickly "- oh, yes, how do you think it happens?"

"Jacob says the mommy goes the hospital and comes home with a baby," Ada said.

"Oh. Yes. That's it. Precisely. The mommy goes the hospital and comes home with a baby," Sheldon said quickly, too quickly, and turned back to his book.

Before Amy could even start to clear her throat, Ada asked, "But how? What happens at the hospital?"

There was a mumble of something and then Sheldon turned back to his daughter. "Uh . . . the mommy goes to the hospital - and the daddy, too - and, uh, they're in a hospital room and . . . um . . . there's a doctor there . . . and, uh, the mommy lays down . . . oh! the doctor helps the mommy get the baby out!" He let out a deep breath and Amy bite her lip.

"Like an operation?"

"Sometimes. And sometimes . . . uh, well, it's a very complex medical process, really, a lot things happen at once. Medical doctors go to school for many years to learn how to do it. It's very . . . overwhelming," Sheldon explained.

"Oh, okay," Ada said and then turned back to Amy. "Are there more pictures of Fox?"

Amy looked over at Sheldon and give him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. It wasn't perfect, of course, but his answer contained only truths and it seemed to satisfy Ada for now.

"Listen, Ada," Amy ran her hand along her daughter's shimmering hair. "Mom and Dad are very happy you're such good friends with Jacob and that you enjoy talking to him. But remember when we talked about privacy?" Ada nodded, looking at her seriously. "Well, questions about your body are private questions, just as your body is private. Unless it's an emergency - do you remember what that is?"

"When you need help from an adult right away."

"Exactly. So, unless it's an emergency, you should talk to only Mom or Dad or your doctor about your body, okay?"

"But it's not my body!" Ada said.

Amy fought her frown away. How could their three-year-old be so logical at the worst times? "Well, no, it's not. But," Amy took a deep breath, "when a mommy and daddy decide to have a baby, that's a personal decision. And the growing of the baby and having the baby at the hospital, those are all private things."

"Okay. I'll remember," Ada said and then she tilted over the iPad again, pointing, "What's that?"

Smiling, Amy allowed the conversation to return to safer ground.

Later, crawling into to bed next to Sheldon, she said, "I was very pleased with your response to Ada tonight."

Sheldon sighed deeply as Amy turned off her lamp and snuggled up closer to him. "You were much better than me."

"Maybe. Maybe not," Amy smiled in the dark. "I admit she threw me for a loop when she correctly pointed out it wasn't her body we were discussing."

"You didn't act like it," Sheldon rolled on his side and wrapped his arm around her.

"Perhaps that's the secret. You just need to act confident, regardless of your inner confusion. Maybe that's the secret to all of parenting."

"Hmmphh," Sheldon murmured. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard since baby Fox."

Chuckling into his chest, Amy said, "Yes, but just like baby Fox, you can't change it."

"It's for me!" Ada yelled, waving the red envelope in the air. They had all just returned home, and Ada had, as usual, had been given the job of holding the mail on the way up in the elevator.

"Oh, is it another card from Grandmother Fowler?" Amy asked, stepping away from the closet to look over Ada's shoulder. Her mother sent Ada a card for each and every holiday for as long as she'd been alive. Of course, Ada knew her name in print and always got so excited to open them. But it was only early December, earlier than she usually sent the Christmas card.

"No, look, Ada, it's for all of us. See?" Amy put her finger on the envelope. "Sheldon, Amy, and Ada Cooper. And look at the stamp. Do you know who that man is? That's King Charles of Britain. That means this card is from from Britain."

"I wanted it to be for me," Ada sounded disappointed.

Amy pulled out a dining chair and sat down, pulling Ada up on her lap. "It's okay, you're correct that it ends with your name. And it is for you, just with Mom and Dad, too. We'll share it. Go ahead and open it."

As Ada opened the envelope, Sheldon came to stand next to them, peering over Amy's shoulder. It took longer than it should have, a combination of Ada's smaller hands and her inherited factitious need to not tear the envelope. Finally, a card was revealed with a picture of Faisal and Oliver and their new little girl, Yasmine, in one of the pods of the London Eye, the city behind and below them.

Smiling broadly, Amy said, "A Christmas card. Our first of the year. 'Wishing you a season of blessings and love,'" she read. "You know who they are."

"Faisal and Oliver and Yasmine," Ada said. "What's a blessing?"

"A blessing is a very, very good thing that happens and makes you incredibly happy. Faisal and Oliver are blessed to have Yasmine now. They waited a long time for her," Amy said. Kissing the top of her own daughter's head, Amy remembered all the emails from Faisal about their long and onerous adoption process. But five months earlier, they were matched with beautiful five year old Yasmine and they had traveled to Syria, that in itself a difficult journey, to bring her home. "After dinner, we'll punch a hole in it and hang it on the Christmas tree together, okay? Right now, let's get your jacket off."

The evening fell into its normal routine with Ada playing and Sheldon working at his white board until Amy called them to the table for dinner. It occurred to Amy that Ada seemed quieter than usual, but Sheldon was telling a lengthy story, so maybe that was the cause.

Having just said something in reply to the end of Sheldon's story, Amy was about to add an additional comment when Ada suddenly said, "How did Faisal and Oliver get a baby?"

"They didn't get a baby, you know that. Yasmine is five. They adopted her from an orphanage for children whose parents had died," Amy said.

"So Yasmine had a mommy?"

"Yes, of course." Amy did frown, then, hoping she was't going to have to explain the politics of the Middle East to her three-year-old.

"Owen has two mommies," Ada said, referencing one of her classmates.

Sheldon squirmed in his seat, but Amy ignored him. "Yes, he does. Sometimes two women or two men fall in love and get married. Or live together. Like Uncle Raj and Stuart."

Ada nodded and stirred her sweet potato soup, but in an absent minded manner. Amy watched her for a second, and then turned toward Sheldon, "Did you -"

"Which mommy did Owen grow inside of?" Ada asked.

Raising her eyebrows, Amy turned. "I don't know. It does't matter, because they both love him. Besides, that's a very private question. Remember when we talked about having a baby is a private thing?"

"But Raj and Stuart won't have a baby, because they're daddies, right?"

"Um, well, not exactly. If Raj and Stuart ever decide they want a baby, they might get a baby or even a child like Faisal and Oliver did, a child whose mommy and daddy can't take care of it for some reason. Or," Amy took a deep breath, "they might make an arrangement for a mommy to grow the baby for them. But, again, that's a very private decision for Raj and Stuart and you should not be asking them about it. It would be rude."

"So a mommy moves in with them?" Ada asked.

"No, the mommy lives in her own house." Sheldon squirmed louder and Amy wished she could join him. "Then, after the baby is born at the hospital, the baby lives with the two daddies and the mommy doesn't. Usually, though, the mommy remains friends with the daddies and the daddies send pictures to the mommy about the baby as it grows up."

"Oh." Another contemplative stir of the soup. Then another. "How does the baby get inside the mommy?"

Sheldon dropped his spoon. Amy took a deep breath. Fortunately, she had known that question would only be a matter of time and she was prepared. Sort of. She hadn't factored in homosexual parentings. "When a man and a woman decide they want a baby, there is a very special, very private hug they do. The daddy has half a baby seed and the mommy has half and the two halves come together from the special hug and the baby starts to grow."

Holding her breath, Amy watched Ada's face carefully as she absorbed this new information. "It's a private hug for adults?" Ada asked.

"Yes, exactly. Very old, very mature adults. Exceedingly private," Sheldon said too loudly, having retrieved his spoon and holding it up to make his point.

"And you and Dad did the hug to make me?" Ada asked.

Over the clatter of Sheldon's spoon falling again, Amy smiled and said, "Yes, we did."

"So Raj or Stuart would have to give a mommy the special hug?"

Amy shook her head, "No. A doctor can also take the daddy's seed out and put it with the mommy's seed. Um," Amy took a breath, "it's a very complex medical procedure."

Shaking her head, Ada buried her spoon in her soup. "It sounds too complicated," she sighed.

Unable to help it, Amy burst out into peels of laughter.

He pulled her hair from her shoulder and rested his head there. "I feel the need to create a new word to fully describe your excellence and acumen in childrearing."

Amy smiled, looking up from her Kindle. "You'd better make it good. Lots of syllables. Almost impossible to properly pronounce."

"Only the best for you," Sheldon whispered, pulling the edge of her nightgown away to kiss her neck.

"What are you doing?" Amy asked, although she knew full well, having seen his naked form out of the corner her eye as he got into bed.

"I heard a rumor about an exceedingly private and very special hug I thought we'd give a try," he whispered, reaching to unhook the top button of her night gown.

Chuckling, Amy shut her Kindle, took off her glasses, and set them both on her end table. "I've heard it's complicated."

"It's a good thing you're so brilliant." Another button. "Astute." Another button. "Perceptive," he whispered in her ear just before his mouth surrounded her ear lobe. "Nimble." Amy took in a deep breath as his hand slipped down her chest to toy with her breast. "Oh, wait, that's me."

Turning her head, Amy met his lips.

Thank you in advance for your reviews!

And, for those of you who asked last week, yes, Jane Austen bandages are real, and you can find them at gonereading .com; just search for Jane Austen bandages. Enjoy!