Chapter 4: New Life

Katniss sits down with Annie and Finn to eat the evening meal. It consists of some lovely fish that Annie has cooked, some strange looking seaweed that is very salty, and some of the rolls that Peeta has prepared for them as well. Katniss can feel her stomach turn, but she makes the effort to eat what Annie has prepared. The fish is steamed and fresh. Katniss has only eaten fish once, on the beach with Finnick and Peeta during the last Games, and that time it was raw. This tasted so much better! The seaweed is an acquired taste, but she tries some anyway and then bites into one of Peeta's rolls. Somehow, just holding the roll in her hands brings tears to her eyes and she hopes that Annie doesn't see.

"How is Peeta doing, Katniss?"

"He is fine. He has set up the bakery again and has been very busy with all the people starting to return to the District". She knows this is not what Annie means and that she really wants to know if Peeta is still experiencing any flashbacks. Annie doesn't push the point. There will be plenty of time to have that conversation with Katniss later. Annie thinks Katniss is looking well, if not a bit pale, and reassures herself that everything is ok between Peeta and Katniss.

"What about you, Annie?" Katniss asks. "How are you managing with Finn on your own?"

"We are doing OK. He is too young to know anything about Finnick yet, but we have plenty of time to share those memories when he is a bit older. The main thing is that I have Finn and he keeps me busy. Everyday I talk to Finnick about him, how much he has grown, what he can do. And he looks just like him, don't you think?"

"Yes" says Katniss quietly as her mind goes back to the sewers and her desperate actions when she made the decision to end Finnick's suffering. She feels so responsible for his death. Annie does not seem to hold this against her, although Katniss is not sure how much Annie really knows and it is probably better to keep it that way. Katniss begins to feel sick again and excuses herself to use the bathroom. It has been a long day and she still hasn't called Peeta. Taking deep breaths she tries to push down the nausea threatening to engulf her. Grabbing the edge of the sink she throws up the dinner she has just eaten. Annie comes in behind her.

"What's wrong, Katniss?"

"I don't know. I keep having these sudden attacks of nausea and I am having trouble keeping anything down".

Annie takes a long hard look at her.

"Katniss, how close have you and Peeta become since his return to District 12?"

Katniss thinks this is a strange question and a little too personal.

"What do you mean?" asks Katniss.

"I mean, have you and Peeta been sharing a bed?"

Katniss is taken aback. How could Annie possibly know that she and Peeta are no longer the "star crossed lovers" of District 12, but real lovers beginning to share a life together? And what has it got to do with her? Katniss feels anger rising up inside. This is hers and Peeta's business, not Annie's or anyone elses.

"Annie, Peeta and I are as close as we can be and we have often shared a bed to keep from having the nightmares that the Games brought on. I don't see what that has to do with anything!"

"Katniss, I think you might be pregnant".

Katniss sits down on the seat. She and Peeta had not made any plans for the future, nor had they thought about what their lovemaking could mean. For Katniss it was the closeness to Peeta, the way he made her feel, the desire to held and feel safe. Peeta had always made her feel safe. Now she felt scared and a little alone. A baby? Peeta's baby? The thought suddenly took her breath away. She was having Peeta's baby! There was a new life growing inside her and it was his and hers. It was theirs. Katniss had thought that they could not share any more deeply than they had already, but now she knows that isn't true. The thought brings tears to her eyes.

"Oh, Annie! Peeta and I never thought about children. We never thought about any of that and we are not even married!"

Annie smiles at Katniss. Not being married will be the least of Katniss' worries now.

"Katniss, marriage is not the most important thing right now. Looking after yourself is. When did you and Peeta first make love?"

For Katniss, this was still too personal, but she guessed that Annie knew what she was talking about and could maybe give her some advice.

"He came back to the District about 2 months ago, so I guess it would have been two weeks after that"

Katniss can feel her cheeks flushing. She didn't like sharing her personal life with other people and she didn't like admitting that she had needed Peeta that much after his arrival back in 12.

"It sounds like you might be about 6 weeks along. That means you will have 34 weeks to go. At this stage you need to rest and do what you can to get food into you. The baby will need it".

Katniss realizes that she now has another life to protect. This is what she had been hoping to avoid. She is still trying hard to protect Peeta and their newfound relationship. How is she going to protect a newborn child as well? This baby would need everything she had left to give. Katniss just hopes she is up to the job.

"Can I call Peeta?" Katniss asks. She needs to talk to him, feel his presence, know he cares. Peeta always makes everything OK. At the same time Katniss know that what she really needs is for him to be here.

"Sure, Katniss. He will be waiting for your call. Finn and I are going to bed now, so I will see you in the morning".

Katniss sits down on the couch. A baby. What will Peeta say?

"Hello?"

"Peeta!" Katniss can't keep the excitement out of her voice. She is so glad to hear him on the other end of the phone.

"Katniss! How are you? How was your trip? I just got home a little while ago and Haymitch is coming over for some dinner and to keep me company". Peeta feels like he needs to reassure her that everything is OK with him. "I miss you so much".

Katniss could hear it in his voice. He really did miss her and she missed him, too.

"I'm fine, Peeta. Annie is looking after me well and your cheese rolls went down a treat!"

"That's good. I thought Annie would like those and I know they're your favourite".

"Peeta, I have something to tell you".

Peeta doesn't like the idea of Katniss being so far away while having something to tell him. Why couldn't she tell him while she was here? Has she been keeping something from him? Peeta begins to feel a little uncomfortable so he encourages her to go on.

"What is it Katniss. Is everything OK?"

"Yes, yes" she says. "Everything's fine". Katniss hesitates, not knowing how to break the news.

"What is it then?" asks Peeta starting to become a little impatient with the delay.

"We're going to have a baby!"

Peeta isn't sure he has heard Katniss correctly. Did she say they were going to have a baby?!

"Katniss what are you talking about? How do you know?"

"Annie told me. She knows. The tiredness, the sickness, they are all signs, and I have been feeling a bit emotional lately, too".

That was true. Katniss had been very teary lately and the slightest thing would set her off, although she often tried to hide this from him. Just before she had gone to District 4 he remembered coming home one day to find her lying on the bed and holding the locket he had given her during the last Games. She always kept it beside her, and sometimes wore it, but she was inconsolable as she held it in her hand. Of course, Prim's picture was in there and her mother's too. She had long ago replaced the photo of Gale with one of Peeta, but she had looked at him strangely and said "Nobody needs me". Katniss knew that wasn't true. This is what he had said to her during the Games but that would never be true of Katniss. How could she even think that? Peeta told her "I need you, Katniss" just as she had done for him when they were in the Games. "Prim's gone, my mother isn't here, I never want to see Gale again and I am just a burden to you. The fact is, if it wasn't for me, none of this would ever have happened!" Peeta had tried to comfort her, told her that he loved her and would be there for her always. She would never be a burden to him. "I need you" he had told her again. It was only by Peeta taking her in his arms and holding her that he could convince Katniss that he needed her as much as she needed him.

"Oh, Katniss!. That's wonderful! We're going to have a baby! "

There was finally a concrete expression of their love. Katniss could not be happier and neither could Peeta..

"Katniss, I love you. I am so proud of you everyday. You make me so happy. When are you coming home?"

"Well, I probably should rest for a couple of days now that I am here. And of course I want to spend some time with Annie. I am sure she can give me lots of good advice. What if I come back after the weekend and then you and I can celebrate together?"

"I can't wait". Peeta means it. He can't wait to take Katniss in his arms again and hold her close. He now has an explanation for Katniss' thickening waistline and her appetite before she had begun to feel sick. Nothing could take away his happiness now. It was complete. No more Games, no more Rebellion and, if he was being honest with himself, no more Gale.