Severus sat at the High Table feeling incredibly alone.
Hermione had been resting and healing all week, and she would be ready to take on her role as his familiar in the public eye once again starting tomorrow morning.
Severus had been taking care of her in between each of his classes, and stayed with her constantly if he wasn't otherwise involved in a meeting or detention (which he had tried to avoid giving, but misbehavior had to be punished). He had grown incredibly attached to the lioness throughout the week, even more so then he'd been previously, and it seemed she felt the same. They were constantly yearning for the other's presence.
It was a strange revelation to realize how much he cared for Hermione. It had caught him by surprise, the level of emotion that welled up at seeing her bleeding on the floor. He supposed the feelings had been there starting the night before, when she had embraced him after his meeting with the Dark Lord, but he hadn't realized to what extent until he was cradling her unconscious and bleeding head in his arms.
This was definitely different than the friendship he'd had with Lily. Lily had been the only good thing in his life, and despite the fact that their relationship was largely one sided and they had nothing in common, he had clung to her
Plus, Hermione would have forgiven him for lashing out and saying that despicable word, he knew that.
He'd seen her forgiven Harry and Ron for quite despicable behavior before.
He pondered the relationship he had with her.
It was healthy, as healthy as it could be considering she was a lioness and he was a 36 year old Dark Wizard. Ignoring that, they got along very well. They felt no need to talk, although Severus knew if she was human they would probably engage in intelligent conversation and both enjoy it, but the fact that she couldn't talk wasn't really a barrier like he'd expected, nor were the silences awkward. He felt no need to fill them with words to ease tension, because there was none present. They seemed to naturally be able to read one another's expressions quite accurately, and could usually guess the reasons behind them.
In the back of his mind he was petrified at what might change when she was finally human again.
He desperately hoped things would only get better.
They needed one another.
He'd had a one sided conversation with her a few days prior, and she confirmed that Harry and Ron were mostly her friends because of the Dark Lord. They fought constantly, and none of them had anything in common, aside from Harry and Ron. Hermione was constantly frustrated with their attitudes and disrespect of her intelligence - all they wanted to do was copy her work - and found it refreshing to have someone who appreciated her and not merely her abilities.
At this confession (well, nod of her head as he guessed up random ideas and scenarios and thoughts for her to confirm or deny), he had quietly admitted that he found it refreshing to have someone who trusted him and she had given him a warm eye smile.
He was grateful for much more than that though, not that he could ever bring himself to tell her.
Her presence helped to ease the pain of meetings with the Dark Lord, and he'd found that stroking her smooth coat was extremely comforting and relaxing, as was the warm and heavy weight of her body in his lap. He appreciated that she supported him and listened when he needed to speak, but she never pressure him with insistence stares if he didn't elaborate on what he'd done at Death Eater meetings, instead listening and giving slow blinks or nods that told him she was paying attention, and then would let the matter drop when he fell silent.
It was so liberating to have a confidante. He didn't feel alone.
He did feel alone right now, however, as he caught himself with his hand lowering to stroke a head that wasn't there.
Shaking his head, he took a bite of toast and swallowed some coffee and with a curt nod at Minerva left the Great Hall to return to his lioness.
Hermione was lying on the couch reading the book he'd charmed to hover in front of her and to turn the pages once she'd finished reading them.
He'd had to get creative since she'd been condemned to spending a lot of time alone in his rooms.
At the sound of his entrance, she looked up eagerly from the book and watched happily as he sat down beside her and rested an arm on her hip.
They both knew they missed each other, but felt no need to verbalized or acknowledge it, so Severus didn't feel embarrassed by his actions. He heard her sigh at his touch, then returned to reading her book. Severus grabbed his own book off the table, propped his feet up on the glass, and for a while the only sound in the room was the rustle of turning pages.
Not too long later he reluctantly rose for his first class, but before he left he set out her lunch. She hadn't been able to go outside to eat meat, so he'd made a new vitamin supplement and was giving it to her in a broth three times a day which seemed to be working to quell her hunger while giving her the proper nutrition.
She looked up at him and twitched her tail as a goodbye and he left to teach his class.
Hermione had really enjoyed her week despite being nearly killed and left bed ridden from the healing injuries. Severus kept her pain under control and had been kind enough to charm some books for her to read, and had even made another special batch of vitamins for her while she was stuck eating broth instead of meat.
And it had been a perfect arrangement for learning Occlumency.
Severus had brought it up only a day after the incident, seeing that they couldn't continue with the physical aspects of her training, that meant they had plenty of time to focus on the mental aspects.
He'd started by teaching her how to clear her mind and gain control of her thoughts and memories. Using a visualization was the most effective way to do this; Severus used water. It allowed him to bring the memories he wanted seen to the surface while slipping private memories into the deep depths where they could not be found.
After some thought, Hermione decided on using a library. She had carefully crafted it, making sure that none of the books containing her memories were labeled or in order, and she had her most private memories hidden within the restricted section. She'd designed her library as an intricate maze, the further you go in, the more private and important the memories, but the maze was extremely difficult. There were many dead ends and false turns leading only to innocent memories of her giggling as a baby or teetering as a toddler, or her waving her hand wildly in class to answer a question. She was torn between laughing and cringing at that last thought; she would never be caught doing that again, not after seeing how immature and obnoxious that student had looked in Severus's class when she had done the same thing.
Hermione had been fine tuning her library all week while Severus was out teaching, and when he returned he continued to give her advice and information regarding the process of Occluding the mind. Unfortunately, he would not be able to actually go into her mind to approve of her visualization and techniques and continue her training until she was fully healed.
She had shot him a questioning look and he explained that Legilimency did not work between human and animal, he would have to transform into his own Animagus during future sessions to continue her training.
Hermione was giddy at the thought, but also extremely nervous. She knew she was an anomaly, and the thought was irrational, but she really didn't want Severus to get stuck in his Animagus form too. Despite this, she was extremely excited to see what form he'd take.
In the mean time, Severus had begun teaching her to use her Occlumency to overcome her lioness instincts. Not knowing what her visualization was, he didn't realize that a library would not work the way it needed to, the way his water visualization calmed him while he imagined the cool liquid lapping slowly at the sandy shores, distracting him from what was going on around him.
Thus, Hermione had two visualizations; one to protect against Legilimency and one to calm and focus her mind.
It had taken her a whole day of non stop thinking to develop the latter visualization. She'd tried water, fog, clouds, rolling fields of tall, waving grass... She had no idea what would calm her.
And then it came to her.
It was ridiculous, really, but it worked.
Whenever she felt the instincts start to overwhelm her, she withdrew into her mind and found herself standing over a bubbling potion, stirring it slowly with a glass rod, the thick fumes wafting up into her nose, overwhelming the scents of temptation that triggered the lioness... and over her shoulder stood Severus, his hand on her shoulder, whispering words of reassurance in her ear. The soothing distraction of brewing the calming draught and the comforting and strong presence of Severus beside her was all she needed to suppress the lioness instincts and clear her mind.
She practiced this on a small scale while she recovered. Severus used small triggers, like a bite sized piece of clean meat dangling in front of her, to evoke her lioness instincts. As she learned to use her visualization and it proved to work, the triggers became more frequent and were made to evoke stronger responses, all of which Hermione was able to suppress.
Severus had been impressed (not that he admitted it), but told her that the true test would come once she was healed and he could give her some real triggers.
Hermione was looking forward to it.