" I don't sleep anymore." Alex replied softly hearing the concern in Nikita's voice. Indeed, she hasn't slept for four days. She was afraid to close her eyes. She was afraid to let her guard down. She was afraid of her nightmares. She was afraid..
" What do you mean?" Nikita asked concerned.
" I don't sleep anymore. If you weren't here tonight, I would have probably patrolled the area instead of Mary. But someone needs to take care of you so here I am. Go to sleep, Nikita." Alex said and looked at her.
" Why? Why you aren't sleeping?" Nikita asked worried.
" I don't have to explain myself. I am an adult. Now, go to bed and have some rest." Alex replied calmly.
" Alex!" Nikita shouted annoyed with Alex's stubborness.
" It isn't negociable. Go." Alex ordered and walked away towards a cupboard, she opened it, bent down and took in her hands her gun, while Nikita defeated obeyed and walked towards the bed.
" Gun?" Nikita asked confused. Why Alex needed a gun while she was inside?
" Do you want the knife or not?" Alex asked avoiding to reply her question.
" I can sleep with you around. You and Michael make me feel safe. I don't need the knife." Nikita replied trying to make Alex let her in again by reminding her that she loves her.
" Fine." Alex replied and placed the knife on the table.
" Would you mind to explain me why do you need a gun inside the safehouse?" Nikita asked again.
" You are never too protected." Alex said and walked towards the window.
" Face on the pillows" she added and turned off the lights.
Alex was standing there behind the window staring at the moon. She waited until she felt Nikita falling asleep and then she turned to look at Nikita's feature. Slowly she slid down the wall and she turned her gaze back to the moon. Her eyes were filling with tears that she didn't try to hold back as memories of Julian passed through her mind.
FLASHBACK...
Sasha, a new girl was brought in the brothel. Three guards lead her to the office of her supervisor, Julian. They opened the door and they pushed her inside. A man was standing on a chair behind a desk with an evil grin on his face. He stood up and walked towards her. He took her face in his hands.
" What is your name?" Julian asked.
" Sasha." Alex replied hesitantly.
" How old are you, Sasha?" Julian asked smiling.
" 13" the young girl replied.
" Then I suppose that I will be your first" Julian said and laughed. Before Alex could understand what he was talking about, Julian had pinned her down on a wall and ripped out her clothes. Alex screamed in horror and tried to push him away but he had more power than her, he slapped her hard on the face and laughed. He hold her hands above her head with one hand and with his other hand he sensed her body. Alex was there crying, trying to make him stop but he didn't. He opened his button and raped the little girl there on the wall four times. When he finished, he let her fall to the floor bleeding from her internal organs. It was the first time that Alex had someone inside her. She thought that this torture was over at least for tonight but she was wrong.
" I want all the guards and the girls to take rounds with her. I don't care if she passes out. I want all of us to taste her. She is beautiful and we don't get every day the chance to have round with a 13 years old girl" Julian ordered and exited the room.
Alex listened with horror his instructions but before she could react, a guard pinned her down to the floor and raped her. She thought that it will end but no. She was being raped for hours by men and women. She lost account. After several hours, Julian returned and looked at her crying without making any sounds.
" They told me that you haven't passed out yet." Julian said and walked towards Alex's naked and bleeding body.
Alex didn't respond and Julian kicked her hard on her waist. Alex groaned in pain.
" Special forces. You will be placed to Special Forces. Now, come and have sex with me." Julian ordered.
" Never." Alex replied firmly and stared at Julian. He immediately jumped to her and raped her once more.
" It is easier Sasha when you do it with your will, when you enjoy it" Julian informed her when he was inside her.
" No. I will never do it with my free will" Alex cried.
" Yes, Sasha. You will do it. I give you one week. You will break. You will become my little bitch. You will make me enjoy it." Julian said and left Alex crying on the floor.
After a week...
A whole week has passed full of beating and rapes.
" Are you going to make me enjoy now?" Julian asked amused.
" Never" Alex replied coldly. She didn't want to shell her body. She wouldn't never sleep with this man willingly.
" You are tough. I like it. I will have fun breaking you." Julian said smiling and attacked Alex once more time.
" I have something that it will make you more cooperative. Heroine" Julian said when he finished his assault and injected Alex with the drug for first time in her life.
" I want her to starve. No food for her for one week. Only water. And feel free to take rounds with her whenever you want." Julian ordered his men.
But nothing worked. Alex was starving to death, she was being raped in daily bases, tortured, beaten up and she was getting addicted but nothing worked. Julian was mad. It was personal now. He wanted to break the girl with any cost. And he did it. After ten months, he managed to do it.
" We will try a new technique now Alex. Gang sex. Do you know what this is? One from the front one from behind at the same time" Julian said and they started raping her again and again.
It has passed three weeks since the first time that they used the technique of gang rape and Alex couldn't stand it anymore.
" Hi, Sasha. It is Marc's birthday today and he wants to celebrate it. Marc is all yours" Julian said and Alex was left with Marc. Marc beat her up, raped her with everything he could find in the room.
After hours, Julian came to take Alex.
" Are you ready for the gang experience?" Julian said and grinned when she saw Alex bleeding and being so broken.
" You won." Alex replied defeated.
" Excuse me?" Julian teased her amused.
" You won Julian. I will do whatever you want. I am your bitch. Just stop it please. I can't stand this anymore. Please." Alex said defeated.
" Beg me!" Julian ordered satisfied that he had broken her.
" Please Julian. I beg you. Please" Alex cried and felt ashamed of herself begging to this bastard.
" Make me enjoy" Julian ordered and Alex stood up and walked towards him. She took him inside her willingly and pretented her orgasm.
" You are my bitch" Julian told her after several times.
" Yes. You won. I am your bitch." Alex replied defeated.
" Tell me that you love me" Julian ordered.
" What?" Alex asked in surprise.
"Tell me that you love me and the torture is over." Julian asked again.
" I love you." Alex lied and felt tears in her eyes. She hated herself for using that word like that. She hated herself for breaking down, she hated herself for what they had done to her and what she will do to satisfy them in the future.
END OF FLASHBACK
Alex was still sitting down staring at the moon, her tears falling down in full speed when she was brought out of her thoughts, when she heard Nikita walking.
" Where do you think that you are going?" Alex asked without turning to face her.
Nikita didn't reply but she continued to walk towards Alex.
" Nikita go back to sleep, please" Alex pleaded.
" No." Nikita replied softly.
" What do you want Nikita? You have to rest." Alex said annoyed.
" You have to rest, too. I will have your back, you will sleep." Nikita ordered and stood beside her.
" You are too stubborn. Go to bed, Nikita." Alex said and smiled sadly to herself. No matter what was going on, Nikita was there for her and it was good to know that you have someone watching your back.
" I stayed in bed for one whole hour. I fulfill your demand." Nikita replied.
" My demand was to rest, Nikita. Please, your wounds need time to heal." Alex said and honest concern was obvious in her voice.
" Can I sit with you, please?" Nikita asked hesitantly Alex's permission to join her. She was really worried about her protegee but she didn't want to push her.
Alex slowly turned her face around and looked at Nikita, she saw true love and concern in her eyes and she nodded slightly in an affirmative way. Nikita smiled softly and slid down the wall near to Alex. She followed Alex's gaze out of the window to the moon.
" You always liked to stare to the moon when something bothered you. You never told me why." Nikita commented casually.
" You never asked why." Alex replied gaze fixed to the moon.
" Can I ask you now why?" Nikita asked softly.
" When I was young, my father used to say to me that even in the darkest periods, you can find the light, just like the moon light the darkest night. I have never thought of his comment until I was stuck in the isolation for almost a year. When they let me out and I saw the moon, I remember that I can always find the light and I started to have hope again, I started to believe in life again, I started to plan my escape. Even in the darkest moments, you can find light..." Alex replied softly and she felt her eyes burning.
" Your father was a wise man." Nikita mentioned feeling her own eyes burning with tears and moved closer to Alex.
" It was the last thing that he told to me, before he died. When Division attacked us, he hide me and he told me that I can find light even in the darkest periods, like the moon can light the darkest night. He said that he loved me and then he stood up just when you entered the room." Alex informed Nikita.
" I am sorry" Nikita replied sadly.
" Don't be. You did what you had to do." Alex said calmly. She didn't blame Nikita for her father's death, not anymore. She knew how Nikita was forced to do this, how she was forced to do it and destroy other families.
" Why do you feel the need to look to the moon, Alex? Why do you need hope?" Nikita asked worried.
" It calms me." Alex replied honestly. She was tired of fighting with Nikita, she was tired of not breaking, she was tired of being the strong one. She was just tired. She wanted to let it out, she wanted to fall apart.
" You are upset about what the senator did to you or because Julian works with Amanda?" Nikita tried to make her friend to talk.
" It was a difficult night." Alex replied sadly.
" Who is Julian, Alex?" Nikita pressed the girl next to her and automatically Alex stressed herself up.
" Hey. I am here for you." Nikita said and took Alex's hand in her own. Alex slowly turned her gaze to Nikita.
" Julian is the one who broke me" Alex replied Nikita's question with grave voice.