" Alex?" Nikita breathed and woke up suddenly when she heard Alex screaming in agony in her sleep. She looked next to her and she saw Alex with a pillow on her face screaming. She pushed her trying to wake her up but she caused Alex to scream louder. She took the pillow and she saw Alex crying in her sleep.
" Alex. Wake up. It is just a dream." Nikita said softly and touched gently Alex's hand. She pulled her hand back when Alex reacted to her touch by arching her body in pain. Nikita started to get worried. This wasn't like any usual nightmare that Alex had. In the past, when Alex had a nightmare, Nikita was able to comfort her and wake her up. Now her touch only made the nightmare worse.
An advice. Don't try to stop it, you are only going to make things worse for Alex. When you can't stand it anymore, come to me Tom's words echoed inside Nikita's mind.
" Alex?" Nikita whispered when Alex suddenly stopped screaming.
" Nikita..." Alex whispered in her sleep and then she let a horrified scream of pain.
Nikita couldn't stand this anymore. She jumped up and she ran to find Tom. She needed to know what is going on.
" TOM!" Nikita yelled as she entered his room.
" What?" Tom jumped up with his gun lifted up on Nikita's face.
" Sorry. What's wrong?" Tom asked when he realised that he had his gun pointed at Nikita and he lowered it.
" What is wrong with Alex?" Nikita asked worried.
" I will explain when we are with her" Tom said and ran to Alex followed by Nikita.
He entered the room and he saw Alex lying down on her back crying trying to fight the nightmare.
" How long did it take her to stop screaming?" Tom asked and gestured to Nikita to keep her voice low.
" 20-25 minutes. She said my name and then she just stopped and then she screamed in pain" Nikita explained and walked towards Tom.
" She fought it for too long. Your presence caused her to include you in her nightmares and like every nightmare it began for a dark period. She screamed in pain because probably she relived your gunshot." Tom explained calmly.
" What do you mean?" Nikita asked.
" I can't explain it to you. Alex will explain when she comes back. It is..complicated." Tom replied softly.
" And when she will come back? I can't wake her up." Nikita asked scared.
" You can't wake her up because she is in some sort of coma. She will come back when something happens in her dream that she can't stand at all. I am going to bring some adrenaline." Tom said calmly.
" Why?" Nikita asked confused.
" Because the last time that she had a nightmare of you, her heart stopped beating" Tom said and Nikita's jaw opened in shock. Nikita stood still too afraid to move not wanting to make things worse and watched as Alex cried in her sleep.
After two minutes Tom came back. He looked at Nikita and smiled.
" She is going to be ok." Tom tried to reassure her.
" We can hear her side of the story, if you want. In a while, she will start saying some things loudly. Do you want to hear?" Tom asked softly.
" I don't know." Nikita replied honestly.
" Do you want to offer her some kind of comfort?" Tom asked.
" Of course." Nikita said immediately.
" She will kill me if she wakes up and find me in the bed with her for any reason so you are the only one who you can do that." Tom said mostly to himself.
" Tom what do I have to do?" Nikita asked hars.
" You will climb behind her, take her head up to your waist near to your chest so that she can hear your heart beat and then hug her tight and everytime that she stressed up you should squeeze her hand." Tom instructed.
" Where is the catch?" Nikita asked worried.
" You can't say a single word. It will be excruciating. But if she hears your voice, her nightmare will get worse." Tom said sadly.
" Then, I won't say a single word" Nikita said and walked towards Alex, she climbed on the bed and took Alex in her hug like Tom told her.
I am here baby girl, I am here Nikita thought.
Tom walked towards the girls and sat down on the chair and sighed softly.
Then Alex started saying some things loudly.
" Nikita.." Alex breathed.
" You don't want to do this...stop fighting me" Alex ordered in her sleep.
" What the hell? Are you crazy? You tried to shoot me to the head? really?" Alex asked in shock.
" Michael.. STOP SHOOTING AT HER! she is getting angrier and she shoots me not you. So stop shooting!" Alex shouted in her sleep.
Alex screamed in pain again.
" Fuck!" she yelled.
" MICHAEL SHOOT HER!" she ordered yelling.
" Don't look at me, Michael! You want to earn some bullet wounds, too? Run! Go to Sean before she decides to come back and finish him" Alex ordered.
" Exactly where the betrayals started.." Alex said softly.
"Tell me who really wants me dead so badly and then I will drop my gun. You or Amanda's cranio needle?" Alex asked calmly.
" If this is what YOU really want, then take the shot. Kill me. I have dropped my gun. What are you waiting for?" Alex added after a while.
" I hate it when I have nightmares of you. You took the shot last time. Take it one more time because, Nikita, I really want to wake up." Alex pleaded.
" Wait she knows that she is dreaming?" Nikita asked Tom confused and she regretted immediately when Alex screamed in pain again.
" Yes, she knows it" Tom replied calmly.
" You don't want to make my life easier tonight, eeh? Fine. Let's see what you want me to see." Alex said defeated.
Alex started coughing.
" You want me to relive operation Pale Fire? Why do you want me to travel into the past? Oh boy, this is twisted." Alex cocked and coughed.
" Get the hell out of here, before it collapses!" Alex ordered.
" Julian.." Alex whispered with horror.
For minutes Nikita could hear Alex screaming in pain, not saying a single word.
" Don't. Do. That. To. Her." Alex said with gritted teeth.
" What's wrong, Julian? I didn't remember you like such a coward" Alex said sarcastically and she groaned in pain.
" Then, accept the challenge" Alex retorted.
" Listen to Amanda. She is good. It will be an intresting game. Or maybe you think that you can't break me..." Alex challenged him.
" Me" Alex said simply with pain in her voice.
" I am really sorry, Nikita. I can't stay in this fucking nightmare anymore. Goodbye my friend." Alex said in a barely audible whisper minutes later.
" NIKITAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Alex screamed and jumped up.
She looked at Nikita's shocked face and then at Tom.
" How long?" Alex asked and collapsed to the floor.
" 2 hours and 17 minutes" Tom replied softly.
" I am really sorry, Nikita. I am so sorry" Alex said honestly and tears rained her cheeks. She stood up and walked towards the bathroom. She paused when she heard Tom's voice.
" No cardiac arrest this time?" Tom asked curiously.
" No this time." Alex said seriously.
" What changed?" Tom asked.
" She didn't kill me. I killed her." Alex said and entered the bathroom. She slid down to the wall and hugged her legs. She started crying quietly and sobbing.
" I don't understand" Nikita whispered confused.
" When she dies in her sleep, she dies and in the reality. The last time that she had a nightmare of you, you killed her. This time, she killed you. And now she is dealing with the aftermath of her nightmare." Tom explained the situation softly.
" Can I go to her?" Nikita asked hesitantly. It was obvious now that the things had changed and she didn't know how to deal with the new situation.
" I don't know. You must ask her permission" Tom replied honestly.
Nikita stood up and walked towards the bathroom. Hesitantly she knocked the door.
" Alex, can I come in?" Nikita asked softly.
Alex quickly wiped her tears and took a deep breathe. She had to face her. She couldn't avoid her for ever.
" Yes." Alex replied with grave voice.
Nikita opened the door and smiled to Alex's figure on the floor. She closed the door behind her and sat down next to Alex.
" Are you ok?" Nikita asked worried.
" Yeah. I am sorry that you had to experience that" Alex replied avoiding eye's contact.
" What was that?" Nikita asked.
" It is complicated." Alex replied honestly.
" I have a lot of time. Tom told me that it is some kind of coma. But you knew that you were dreaming. How is that possible?" Nikita pressed more.
Alex sighed loudly.
" When Amanda put that fucking cranio needle in my brain, she made my relive every memory that caused me fear, pain or regret. Since then I have this type of nightmares. At the begining, I didn't understand that I was dreaming, but then one night I dreamed Amanda with the cranio needle- that night I understood Amanda's plans with the munity and I realised that Larissa was an illusion. I tried to wake up but I couldn't. So I decided to play along until something forces me to snap out of my dreams. Now I have learnt to recognise my nightmares and when it gets unbareable, I am forcing myself to snap out" Alex explained defeated.
" Wait.. you know that Larissa was an illusion?" Nikita asked surprised.
" And I am pretty sure that you know that. Did you plan to tell me Amanda's game or not?" Alex replied softly.
" I don't know. You have defeated her game and I didn't know how exactly to tell you what she had done to you. I don't know if I would have found the courage to tell you that." Nikita replied honestly.
Alex smiled softly with Nikita's reply. Nikita had a problem dealing with unspoken secrets. She didn't know how to tell her that she was the killer of her father, she didn't know how to tell her about Larissa...
" You ordered Michael to shoot me? after you have told him not to? That was funny!" Nikita said and smiled trying to show to Alex that it was ok, it was just a nightmare and they could talk about it.
" You shot me! I couldn't hold you anymore and Sean was bleeding to death in the next room." Alex explained with an apologetic tone.
" How many times did I shoot you?" Nikita asked curiously.
" Everytime that I heard your voice in reality, I had a pain attack in my dream and a couple more times." Alex replied.
" I am sorry" Nikita apologized.
" Don't be." Alex said firmly.
" May I ask what were you dreaming when you killed me?" Nikita asked curiously.
Alex looked at Nikita and left some tears to fell down.
" Hey. It is ok." Nikita tried to reassure her.
" No, Nikita, it is not okay. It isn't okay because it wasn't just a dream, a fiction, I have witnessed it in the real life and if it ever comes to it, I would probably choose to kill you, Nikita. So no it is not okay!" Alex said seriously and angrily.
" Alex, what are you talking about?" Nikita asked confused.
Alex stood up.
" I am not letting you get involved in that mess. Tomorrow, I will hand you back to Division and you will stay low, far away from Amanda. If I ever see you out in the field, I will return you the favor. I will force you to stay low by shooting both your legs. Between you dead or you hating me, I choose you hating me. Goodbye, Nikita" Alex said and exited the bathroom.
Nikita was standing still. She was in complete shock. She had never seen Alex like that before. Alex was scared, really scared. She was scared about Nikita and what might happen to her, she was so scared that she had actually threaten Nikita that she will shoot both her legs if she keeps going after Amanda. Slowly she shook her head and she followed Alex out of the bathroom, but she couldn't find her.
" Where did she go?" Nikita asked Tom confused.
" She left." Tom replied.
" Why?" Nikita asked still in shock.
" I don't know" Tom said honestly.
" I am going to find her." Nikita said firmly.
" Don't" Tom ordered
" Why?" Nikita asked confused.
" Because she threatened that she will handcuff you if you go after her" Tom explain.
" What?" Nikita shouted shocked.
" Nikita, please..." Tom pleaded.
" Go and bring her back here! She can't just say those things and then leave." Nikita ordered frustated.
" Fine, but you can't leave the room" Tom replied calmly.
" Whatever" Nikita said defeated.
Tom exited the room and went to find Alex.
" What happened?" Tom asked worried.
" I can't do that Tom. I can't." Alex said.
" Alex, what did you see in your nightmare?" Tom asked seriously.
Alex shook her head in denial.
" Alex, you have to tell me." Tom ordered.
Alex decided that she needed to take it out so she nodded.
" Julian had many twisted games. One day, she forced me to watch as a girl killed her little sister. He was torturing and raping her for days and he told her that if she killed her sister, he would stop. One day the girl couldn't take it anymore and she killed her sister to make him stop. That day he had walked towards me and he had told me that he will break me and that if I ever find someone who will love, he will make us kill each other." Alex said sadly.
" That is insane, sick" Tom shouted in shock.
" In my dream, Nikita was caught by Amanda and I was caught by Julian. Amanda and Julian decided to make the game more intresting. Amanda proposed that Julian should torture and rape me in front of Nikita and force me to kill her. So Nikita would suffer even more. Julian walked towards me and asked me who he should hurt first. I answered me because I have been through everything that Julian has to serve me before. But he started to get annoyed because I didn't break. He moved towards Nikita and he was about to start his game with her when I pushed the button and electrocuted her killing her." Alex finished.
Tom hugged her tightly.
" It is ok. She will be fine" Tom tried to calm her down.
" Tom, if it comes to it, I probably choose to kill her than let Jullian trying to break her. I can't let her go through what I went through with Julian. I can't do that to her. Not because of me.." Alex cried and collapsed in Tom's hug.
" She wants you back." Tom said after some minutes.
" She can't have her Alex back, now. It is too dangerous. I will give her something to hate, it will be easier this way" Alex said firmly and took her gun in her hands and a pair of handcuffs.
" Come" Alex ordered Tom.
They went upstairs and they entered the room. Nikita was pacing up and down anxious. She turned around to face Alex and her jaw opened in surprise when she saw Alex's gun pointed at her.
" Alex what are you doing?" Nikita asked confused.
" Handcuff her right hand on the bed" Alex ordered Tom and passed him the handcuffs.
Tom moved slowly towards Nikita.
" Please don't fight me" Tom pleaded and Nikita nodded still staring at Alex.
" Good girl. I will come back to give you your treatment and when Meredith decides to face her demons. If you cause any problems, I will handcuff and your other hand" Alex said coldly.
" Alex?" Nikita whispered.
" What?" Alex asked hars
" What are you doing?" Nikita asked confused.
" What I should have done a long time ago. I am staying away from you. You know nothing than to hurt and betray people." Alex lied coldly as ice and she felt like she was being stabbed but she needed to make Nikita hate her, she needed to ensure Nikita's safety.
" You promised that you won't leave. You promised that you would kick my ass but you wouldn't leave." Nikita argued.
" Promises are made to be broken and I might kick your ass later" Alex replied and left the room. She ran downstairs, she entered to the gym and she started punching with rage a punching bag.
" What is wrong?" Nikita asked Tom with gritted teeth.
" She just loves you too much. You might be angry at her, but she does that in order to protect you. This time, I will agree with her. Stay low, Nikita. Don't go after Amanda for sometime. Don't leave Division for sometime. Alex will do anything to protect you even if she loses your love or trust, even if she loses her life." Tom replied softly. After what Alex told him, he could understand Alex's reaction. He would have done the same.
" She handcuffed me, she threatened me and she left, I don't see exactly how her actions show love!" Nikita exclaimed angrily.
" What did she see in that fucking nightmare anyway?" Nikita added when Tom didn't reply to her previous comment.
" I am not going to tell you anything, but if I were Alex, I would have done the same thing." Tom said firmly.
" I am going to kick her ass" Nikita replied defeated and Tom laughed.