She knew that in few hours she will fly back to Division to hand Nikita to them but she couldn't stop her worry. She hated the fact that she will have to leave her family again, she hated the fact that she was a bitch to Nikita, she hated the fact that they might suffer because of her. But she loved them too much. She needed to deal with Julian alone and when she would have faced her demons, she could go back to them, hold them, break down in front of them and cry in their hug.
Alex was sitting on the couch staring at the floor and thinking about what she was about to do next. She was trying to braise herself to leave her family one more time behind and run after her past, trying to make peace with it and in this way protect her family. She knew that she had to do it. Amanda had already tried to use her past to make her betray Nikita and she didn't want to know what would have happened if she had succeeded completely. She needed to heal herself and she needed to do it alone without Nikita and Sean and the others holding her. She needed to stand up on her own foot. It was difficult, it was painful, it was excruciating, she wanted to give up but she had to do it. It was the only way to protect them. She had to face her rapists, her demons, Julian, Amanda and everyone else that had messed up with her life. She needed to do it for them, if not for herself. She was brought out of her thoughs when Tom shaked softly her shoulder.
" Hey, Tom" Alex said softly.
" Why are you doing this, Alex? Ok, I know that you have to be cruel with Nikita and stay away from them to protect them from Julian and Amanda, but they are your family. You are hurting yourself in the process of protecting them." Tom said gently and sat next to Alex.
" And what am I supposed to do Tom? Risk their life? Let them suffer? I had spent my whole life escaping death and let the others behind die. I couldn't save my father, I couldn't save the girls. I am not going to stand by and see one more person that I love dying instead of me. I am done running, Tom. This is my battle, my war and I won't accept any of you to pay the dept for me. I can't do that, Tom. I won't survive again if I lose anyone more because of me. I can't let them suffer." Alex replied softly.
" Then run far away and don't look back. You have gone through hell Alex, you don't have to go through more" Tom pleaded calmly.
" And then what? Hide for the rest my life? Look over my shoulder forever? This isn't life, Tom. I am done hiding, I am done running. This has to end." Alex retorted seriously.
" You know that I will support any decision that you will make, but are you sure that you want to continue this war? Are you sure that you want to leave them behind again? Are you absolutely sure?" Tom asked worried.
" I am sure." Alex said firmly and stared at him.
" Wheels are up in 20mins. Go and prepare Nikita for derpature" Tom instructed Alex defeated.
" Thanks." Alex said honestly and placed a soft kiss on Tom's cheek before she left to go to Nikita.
Nikita was lying on the bed with red eyes unable to understand what was going on and why Alex was acting like that. She was trying to find a way to make Alex talk to her but she couldn't find any. She knew Alex too well to know that she was stubborn and if she didn't want to talk, she wouldn't talk. She was brought out of her thoughs when she heard a knock on the door and then the door opened and Alex came in.
" It is time to go back to Michael. He has missed you a lot." Alex said casually.
Nikita instantly straighted herself up.
" It is time for you to go back to Sean, too? I can reassure you that he is missing you." Nikita replied calmly.
" No, it isn't time for me yet" Alex said softly.
" Maybe you have a really good time here with Tom and your time will never come." Nikita said hars provoking Alex. She didn't mean what she said but she wanted to cause an outbrust and maybe get some explanations from her protegee.
Alex froze in the middle of the room, her jaw had dropped from the shock and her anger started rising inside of her. Nikita couldn't actually believe that she was cheating on Sean, could she?
" What?" Alex semi-shouted in shock.
" I don't know. You tell me. Do you have a thing with Sean?" Nikita replied calmly.
" I am not cheating on Sean, Nikita" Alex said firmly and walked towards her trying to calm herself down.
" Whatever you say" Nikita continued provoking Alex.
" What is your problem, Nikita? I am not cheating on Sean. I haven't a thing with Tom. Why do you try so hard to hurt me and piss me off?" Alex asked and she felt unshed tears in her eyes. She knew Nikita very well to understand that she was trying to provoque her but she didn't like Nikita's way to do so and she hated fighting with her all the time.
" I am not trying to hurt you.." Nikita started.
" But this is what you are actually doing" Alex cut her off.
" I just want a fucking explanation Alex! I want to know why you are pushing me away again! I want to know why you are pushing everyone away!" Nikita yelled frustated. She had managed to cause an outbrust to herself than to Alex. She was so confused with Alex's behavior and so frustated to herself that she hurt Alex once more that she just gave up in her frustation and yelled at Alex looking for explanations.
" The reasons behind my actions aren't your damn business, Nikita." Alex retorted hars.
" Do you remember what you told me after you rescued me? You aren't alone anymore, Alex. You have a family looking after you and worrying about you. You can't push them away and then come back whenever you want." Nikita said softly.
" You don't have to welcome me if I come back alive. You aren't obligated to consider me as your family if you don't want." Alex replied coldly.
" Alex!" Nikita shouted hurt and jumped up her face inches away from Alex's now.
" What now Nikia? Do you think that for me is easy? Do you think that I enjoy it? It isn't easy. But I have to do it and you can choose to accept my decision and let me go or you can choose to hate me and fight me. It is your choice, Nikita. It is your choice if you gonna let me back in if I come back alive or kick my ass. It is your choice. I made my choices and I am ready to pay their consequences. Now, it is your turn to make your choices." Alex said angrily.
" I will always be there for you. You can't seriously believe that I will turn my back on you. I will accept your decision, I don't agree but I will go with it and I will wait with open arms your return. Just promise me that you will come back safe and then we will talk." Nikita replied firmly touched by Alex's words.
" I will do my best to come back and we will talk. I promise" Alex promised and stared at Nikita, who nodded in acceptance.
" I don't want to handcuff you. Please don't try anything stupid." Alex added sadly.
" You don't have to handcuff me. I will play along" Nikita replied.
" Come. The helicopter is here." Alex ordered and gestured Nikita to move fowards.
They exited the room, they walked upstairs to the terrace and they embarked in the helicopter with Tom and two more heavily armed men.
" Go" Alex ordered and the wheels went up.
After 3 hours in the air, they finally reached their destination and the helicopter landed a few meters away from the farm above Division.
Alex immediately jumped out of the helicopter followed by Nikita, Tom and two other armed men who took combat positions around of Alex. As soon as Alex's foot touched the ground, Sean and Michael started running towards the women of their life and hugged them tightly. Sean lifted Alex's body and spinned her around too excited to see her again after some weeks. Michael was kissing Nikita with all his passion. After the first moments of their reunion the two couples moved away from the helicopter so that they could talk.
An armed man walked towards Alex and whispered something in her ear.
" Give us 15 minutes" Alex said softly and the man nodded in understanding and walked away to give to the couples some private time.
Michael kissed Nikita again and Alex took Sean's hand in hers and walked away from the others. Sean followed her and as soon as Alex stopped, Sean turned her around and kissed her passionately. Alex gently pushed him away afer a few seconds.
" We need to talk" Alex said seriously.
" You aren't breaking up with me, are you?" Sean asked worried about Alex's tensed figure.
" I am not that crazy, seal boy... I love you" Alex said and placed a soft kiss on Sean's lips.
" Ok. Tell me." Sean said relieved.
" Do you know what Nikita was doing alone on a mission?" Alex asked.
" Birkoff told us that a senator who works with the Shop got in his hands a file about Michael's family and Amanda threatened to publish it. She went there to retreive it but she got captured. You rescued her and then completed her mission." Sean told her quickly what he knew about Nikita's mission.
" Do you know how exactly I completed her mission?" Alex asked nervously.
" No. Birkoff didn't tell me" Sean replied honestly.
Alex looked up at him and she felt tears in her eyes.
" I am really really sorry, Sean" Alex said sadly with a tone full of apology.
" Sorry for what?" Sean asked confused.
" We couldn't break into senator's house, they were waiting for us. So I went through the front door. Senator was an ex-cliend of mine when I was a sex slave, so I posed as Sasha. I am really sorry, Sean" Alex honestly and she let some tears to fall. She was so scared about Sean's reaction.
" Did you sleep with him?" Sean asked hurt after some moments of silence and the pain that the idea of another man inside Alex caused him was obvious in his voice.
" Hell no, Sean. I couldn't. But I let him kiss me, touch me, beat me up and drink from my blood" Alex said. She wanted Sean to know the whole truth. She couldn't live with a secret like that.
" How did you feel when he touched you?" Sean asked hars and kept his eyes locked with hers.
" I hated myself, I wanted to kill him, I wanted to vomit, I wanted to die right there. I kept repeaing in my mind that it was for Max. I am really sorry, Sean. Please forgive me" Alex pleaded and a lonely tear fell down.
Sean looked at her and then he leaned foward and captured her lips in a soft kiss full of love. Alex pushed him away and stared at him confused.
" I love you" Sean replied to her unspoken question.
" I love you, too. More than what you can imagine. But.." Alex said confused.
" But you needed to protect Max. I am not happy that someone else had the pleasure to touch you and kiss you but I understand why you did it. We chose this life, Max didn't. I love you, Alex" Sean said and kissed her again.
He pushed her softly away and he took a step behind. Slowly he took out of his pocket a little box and he knelt down on one knee. He opened the box and took out a ring.
" Alex you will always hold my heart. I am yours since the first day that we met. I love you till the moon and back, always and forever. Marry me" Sean requested softly and looked up at Alex, who was now pale like a ghost and she let the tears ran freely down to her cheeks.