For now everyone was fine, safe and sound. Amanda didn't win, but the things aren't always as it seems. Little scratchs on the surface will start opening and gaps will be created. For now Michael was safe but Alex will have to leave again and none was ready to let her go one more time, none was ready to face what is coming next because of their will to keep Alex near to them, none was ready for the unimaginable heartbreaking fights that they will have to go through . But for now, Alex was shallowed by the darkness and everything was calm.
Sean slowly entered Alex's room. He saw her lying on the bed unconscious with white bandages on her arms and legs, he saw the bruises on her body and some scars that he hadn't seen before, some new scars that had been created while Alex was away from Division. He hated the fact that Alex was hurt when he wasn't there for her. He wanted Alex to let him in, to talk to him and tell him why she was so afraid. He wanted to take care for her, hold her and tell her that he loved her. Slowly, he sat next to her on the bed and hold her hand. He was lost in his thoughts thinking about every possible way to persuade Alex to let him be by her side when he heard footsteps approaching. He turned around and he saw Nikita standing on the door.
" How is she?" Nikita asked worried.
" Still out." Sean replied calmly.
" How are you?" Nikita turned the subject to his well being seing the sadness in his eyes.
" I want her back" Sean whispered honestly.
Nikita opened her mouth to say something but she stopped when Alex woke up screaming '' NOOOOOOO'' and jumped out of the bed scaring the hell out of her.
" Alex?" Sean asked worried.
Alex looked at Sean and smiled. Not wanting to talk about what had caused her to jump out of the bed screaming, she controlled her breathe, she walked towards him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Sean let himself enjoy the feeling for some seconds and then he pulled himself back.
" Don't try to distract me. Are you ok?" Sean asked worried. He wasn't used of Alex trying to distract him like that, she usually preferred to fight over not talking than use their love to distract him.
" I am absolutely fine" Alex replied and looked at him.
" What did you see in your nightmare this time?" Nikita asked from behind the lovely couple.
Alex glared at her angrily and sighed annoyed. It wasn't her damn business to inflirtate in her life like that. She had made it crystal clear that she didn't want to talk about her nightmares the previous time.
" Hello to you, too, Nikita" Alex said coldly ignoring Nikita's question.
" How is Michael?" Alex added softer not wanting to give a continue to her upcoming fight with Nikita.
" He is fine." Nikita replied coldly. She was still mad at Alex, inside her she blamed Alex for almost losing Michael.
Alex smiled in relief and decided to sit on the bed as her ankle started paining again.
" What caused this reaction?" Sean didn't let the subject down. He wanted to know why Alex was so scared.
Alex's face darkened and looked away.
" Just a nightmare" Alex said defeated.
" What did you see Alex?" Nikita asked softly and sat on the other side of the bed.
" Guys, please." Alex pleaded. For god shakes, she had just woken up, she didn't want to be interrogated about her nightmare, she just wanted to calm down, she was still too tensed up from her previous day trying to save Michael by flying from one end of the world to the other and she just wanted to relax.
" Goodmorning my savior" Michael greeted Alex entering her room.
" How are you?" Alex asked worried. She didn't want Michael to be caught in the line of fire. Amanda was after her and Nikita. Michael and the others were just means to hurt them.
" Pretty good actually." Michael said honestly.
" Better than you for sure" Michael added softly seeing Alex's status.
" Hey!" Alex said annoyed.
" Don't take it in an wrong way but you have bruises, cuts, sprained ankle and a wound that we can't close" Michael commented and pointed at each and every covered part of Alex's body.
" Just some gifts from Amanda.." Alex said casual like it was nothing important.
" Now that you said Amanda, what did you mean that we might have a mole?" Nikita asked confused.
" I told you before that Amanda knows things that she shouldn't. Someone keeps an eye on all of you and your relationships with each other" Alex explained calmly.
" Your conversation in the cemetery?" Michael asked trying to figure out how Alex knew about a potentional mole.
" How...? Of course, she let her face to be caught on camera." Alex said understanding how they know about that.
" She is good, really good" Alex commented amused thinking of how Amanda played her game. It would be a difficult war but she wasn't going to give up and let the others suffer.
" I think that we should go and work out the mole's issue, Nikita." Michael said sensing the tense between Alex and Nikita and wanting to thank Alex by giving her some space and some time with Sean.
Nikita looked up at him unwillingly and nodded. It wasn't the right time to talk with Alex. She didn't know how to control herself and not fight with Alex.
" Thanks for coming for me" Michael said softly and kissed Alex's forehead.
" I will always come for you" Alex replied and watched as Michael and Nikita exited the room.
Alex sighed defeated and looked at Sean.
" Are you going to tell me what did you see in this nightmare?" Sean asked not dropping the issue.
" Maybe when everything is over" Alex replied honestly. She didn't want to talk about her nightmares.
" Alex.." Sean started.
" Sean, please. Just climb in the bed with me and don't say anything more" Alex cut him off. She didn't want to talk, she only wanted to hold him in her arms, to feel his warmth, to touch him, to smell him, to hear his heart beat.
Sean smiled and obeyed instantly. He didn't want to press Alex more. He didn't want to fight with her. He just wanted to hold her and tell her that he loved her. He climbed in the bed wih her taking her head on his chest and putting his hand around her waist and he smiled as Alex slowly fell asleep. For the first time after weeks, it was a sleep without nightmares. She had forgotten the feeling of being in peace. In his arms, she felt safe again, in his arms Amanda's brain surgery didn't cause her any pain, in his hands she was just an ordinary person, not a sex slave, not a russian heiress, not a murdered, she was just Alex, his Alex and that feeling was unvaluable.
After two hours, Alex slowly opened her eyes, she saw Sean lying next to her and smiled. Sean sensed Alex staring at him and slowly he moved closer to her and catch her lips in a passionate kiss.
" I love you, Alex" Sean said in a sleepy voice.
" I love you, too, Sean, more than you can imagine" Alex replied softly and sighed defeated. She hated herself for hurting him and it pained that she would have to leave again, but she had to. She needed to face her past so that she could move foward, so that she could be with him and not wondering what would happen if Amanda tried to use her past again. She needed to leave again to keep him safe.
" Don't leave again. Stay with me on bed for a whole eternity" Sean pleaded seriously.
" I can't. I want to but I can't do that, Sean. It will be selfish to surrender to my wants and needs and not think about the consequenses. I need to leave. I have to. Please." Alex begged him with teary eyes. She wanted him to understand that he was everything that she wanted in her life but leaving was something that she had to do. She wanted his support, his reassurance that everything will be fine.
" At least take the ring with you, if you can't take me. Take the ring so that you can feel my love" Sean replied defeated.
" I don't need a ring to feel your love, Sean. I can feel it even if I am miles away because my heart talks to yours even if we don't speak to each other. I don't need to carry symbols of your love because I carry your love. And I can't take the ring with me because it will be dangerous for both of us and I want you to be safe." Alex said and stared at his eyes.
" Don't leave again, Alex. Let me come with you." Sean requested.
" Sean, I need you to stay here, safe and sound. I will leave again but I won't leave you. I will never leave you. My heart will never leave you. My heart will stay behind with you, my heart will keep beating for you, my heart will force me to survive to come back to you. Please, Sean, I want you to understand, it is something that I need to do alone. Please don't fight with me over that anymore, please Sean" Alex said and let some tears to fall.
" If this is what you really want then I will be by your side but Alexandra Udinov you must know that my heart will be with you" Sean said firmly and hugged Alex more tightly.
Alex smiled and relaxed once more in Sean's hug.
" You will come back, right?" Sean asked worried after a while.
" I will do my best to come back to you, Sean." Alex replied softly. She didn't want to make false promises. She couldn't promise him that she would survive because she didn't know if she could survive but she could promise him that she would anything to come back to his arms.
" I love you, Alex" Sean said firmly and Alex kissed him softly and her heart arched knowing that she would have to live again.
Some minutes passed and Nikita entered the room once again.
" Yes, Nikita?" Alex asked without opening her eyes knowing too well Nikita's footsteps. Nikita smiled in pride that Alex was so good and smiled.
" I can't hold back Tom and Meredith anymore. You don't mind, right?" Nikita said softly and laughed when Alex stood up slowly with a confused look and then smiled when Tom and Meredith came running in the room and hugged her almost knocking off the bed.
" I might start feeling threatened" Sean commented softly seeing Alex smiling in Tom and Meredith's hug. He didn't manage to finish his sentence when Alex pulled him in the group hug and kissed him.
" Smartass" Alex commented pushing Sean away.
Tom and Meredith laughed.
" We have missed this smile" Meredith mentioned seeing Alex's face full of happiness.
Nikita watched the interaction with tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe how grown up Alex was now, she had her own team, she had her own people caring about her. She was feeling like she was losing Alex. Alex was happy around them while lately around Nikita she was cold and distant.
" Promise to let you see it more often" Alex promised to Meredith. Her smile fainted when she saw Nikita's sad feature. She stood up and walked towards her. She touched her face forcing her to look at her.
" What's wrong?" Alex whispered worried.
" Nothing" Nikita lied and tried to give Alex a small smile that ended in a sad face.
" Nikita?" Alex asked confused when tears started filling Nikita's eyes.
Nikita touched Alex's face and smiled sadly. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think or how to feel. She was mad, she was confused, she was scared, she was afraid, she was worried, she was hurt, she was lost. She blamed Alex for leaving and almost losing Michael and she was angry with her for acting like a bitch and not giving her any explanations but she also loved her and she wanted to fix whatever was broken.
" I am just tired" Nikita lied and left the room.
Alex stared at Nikita understanding that something was really odd with her reaction and she turned to the others.
" What was that?" Alex asked with pain obvious in her voice.
" She will be fine" Tom tried to reassured her.
" She will be fine?" Alex repeated confused.
" Alex, she almost lost Michael and she thinks that she is losing you. She needs time" Sean tried to explain Nikita's behaviour.
Alex sighed defeated. She wanted to go after Nikita but her ankle started paining again and she knew better than to run after her while she is injured. Nikita needed time to work some things with herself and when she feels ready, she would come to Alex and talk.
Sean sensed Alex's sadness and moved closer hugging from behind.
" We are going to see how the famous Division works" Tom said and left the room.
" I love you, Sean" Alex said when they were left alone.
" I love you, too, Alex, always and forever" Sean replied and tightened his hug around Alex.