One day later...
Alex was released from medical but as her ankle hasn't healed yet, she had promised to Sean to stay at Division a couple more days.
Tom and Alex were talking at the hall.
" I got what you wanted from outside from Division, but Alex are you sure?" Tom asked worried.
" Yes. I have done it before. When the pressure is too high and I am not sure if I can do it, I carry drugs with me. If I can hold myself together and not relapse then I can do everyhing" Alex whispered seriously.
" It is dangerous, Alex. What if Nikita learn about that or worse what if you relapse?" Tom pressed more Alex to reconsider her decision.
" Nikita won't learn about it and I won't relapse. But even if I relapse, I trust you enough to know that you will kick my ass and make sure that I won't get addicted again." Alex said and stared at Tom.
Tom sighed defeated and slowly, like an expert, placed a bottle of pills in Alex's pocket.
" It is Vicodin. Painkiller and highly addictive" Tom informed Alex.
" Thanks for trusting me" Alex replied and smiled at Tom. Carrying drugs with her when she was under pressure had started to become a habit. She started doing so when she was first recruited at Division, if she could fight her addiction then she could fight Amanda's mind game and be Nikita's mole. It was a way to remind herself that she was strong and she could do it. Amanda had found out and she had confronted her even if she hadn't had any, the idea had shaken Amanda.
" Now, tell me how are the others." Alex ordered calmly.
" They had flied to Berlin. They found a safehouse and settled there waiting for us." Tom said and took out a tablet.
He typed something and a satellite image of the area of their new safehouse was shown up.
" Nice. I want two snipers in the opposite roof 24/7. With Amanda after us the rules of the game have changed, I don't want them to be left exposed" Alex ordered and Tom nodded in undersanding.
" The package was delivered. Amanda would probably get it in her hands sometime today. But we can't track it anymore, signal jamming." Tom said.
" It is ok. I don't want to track it. I will play her game this time." Alex replied seriously.
Tom stared at Alex worrying. Amanda's game was always extremely dangerous and he was worried that Alex had decided to play by her rules. Amanda was cruel, merciless, determined to cause as much pain as possible. How was Alex supposed to face Amanda in her own game of emotional torture? And what the mysterious package was?
Alex read Tom's gaze and smiled.
" I will be fine" Alex reassured him and hit his shoulder softly.
Tom didn't have the time to argue because he heard someone approaching. He lifted his head and saw Nikita standing a few meters away.
" I will give you some space to talk" Tom said seriously looking at Nikita.
" Anything else?" Tom added and turned his attention to Alex.
" No. I want snipers on the roof and raise the patrolling. I don't want any surprises while I am away." Alex ordered firmly.
Nikita didn't have the chance to see Alex being the boss before and she was caught of guards. Alex was sure and determined. She was a leader, her team respected her and she respected them. She was obviously good at being the boss.
" Of course" Tom said and started walking away.
" Tom" Alex stopped him.
" Yes?" Tom asked hesitantly and turned to face her. He didn't want to be near Nikita after handing drugs to Alex, he was afraid of her reaction if she knew about it. He would be dead in one second.
" Tell them to be safe." Alex replied softly and Tom smiled in response and quickly walked away from the girls.
" Nikita" Alex said after some seconds of silence.
" Did you take your time?" Nikita asked calmly. She didn't want to start a fight with Alex.
" Eh?" Alex asked confused.
" You told me that you will take your time and then we will talk. Did you take your time?" Nikita asked again a little harsher than she intented.
" We will talk before I come back to Division willingly" Alex replied softly. She didn't want to offend Nikita or make their relationship worse than it was after Ossetia.
" What have I done?" Nikita asked with pain in her voice. She was tired of fighting with Alex, she was tired of feeling that she was losing her, she was hurt that Alex acted so coldly and distant around her. She knew that she had made mistakes after taking control of Division and that she wasn't there for Alex when she needed her. But something was really odd lately and she couldn't understand why.
Alex's heart pained hearing Nikita's broken tone. She walked towards her and cupped her face.
" We will talk Nikita. When the time comes, we will talk. I know that I am being a bitch to you and I am sorry but my behavior has nothing to do with what you did or didn't." Alex replied softly.
" Then why Alex? If I am not responsible for your bitchy behavior then why I am the one who face it?" Nikita asked angrily.
Alex sighed defeated and let her hand to drop. This conversation wasn't a good idea. Nikita was getting angrier with every answer that Alex gave to her and Alex was getting more and more upset as Nikita was pushing her emotional buttons. After Amanda's brain surgery her emotions weren't completely under her control, she could get upset and hurt really easily and that was usually ended up to a fight.
" You aren't responsible for this." Alex said simply not responding at all to Nikita's question. Yeah, Alex had problems with Nikita and issues that needed to be solved but that wasn't the reason behind her bitchy behavior. She was scared that Amanda or Julian or anyone else will use Nikita against her and she didn't want to put her in danger. If she acted like a bitch, then maybe Nikita would stay away from her and they would be persuaded that she didn't care. It was her only shot to keep Nikita out of big trouble but she couldn't just say that to Nikita because it will cause the opposite result, Nikita will get super-worried and she will put herself in danger running after Alex.
" Why you can't give me a clear answer, damn?" Nikita shouted angrily.
" I can't. I am sorry. I don't want to talk about it." Alex replied trying to remain calm.
Nikita looked at her angrily. She wanted answers but she knew very well that gaze in Alex's eyes, it was the one that Alex had when she had made up her mind and nothing could change it.
" Are you going to leave again?" Nikita asked coldly accepting that the previous subject will end up in a dead-end.
" Yes" Alex replied simply. She didn't want to give more explanations. She didn't want to fight over that but obviously Nikita wasn't ready to give up so easily.
" Don't." Nikita said firmly.
" Nikita.." Alex said warning her not to continue this conversation because they will fight again.
" Michael almost died because you were away" Nikita said harsh.
" Are you accussing me for something Nikita?" Alex asked curiously with a cold tone.
" I don't know. If you were here, nothing would have happened." Nikita said coldly and stared at Alex.
Alex's face darkened and she felt like she was being stabbed hearing Nikita accusing her for Michael.
" Amanda would have found another way to use Michael's well-being. It wasn't my fault" Alex retorted angrily.
" But you weren't here Alex. He almost died because you weren't here" Nikita shouted frustated. She didn't want to hurt Alex or accuse her from something, she was just mad and worried and the words left her mouth before she could think.
" Nikita, I came back from the other end of the world, I jumped into a forest, I ran through flying bullets. You can't be serious. I didn't everything in my power to save Michael. Don't take it out on me. Not regarding this topic." Alex said angrily trying to control her nerves.
" And you were just on time! He could have died!" Nikita yelled annoyed with Alex's lack of understanding.
" If you are accusing me for something Nikita then do it directly. Don't jump around the subject. What are you accusing me for exactly?" Alex said coldly and felt her anger rising inside her ready to explode.
" You put Michael in danger." Nikita yelled not managing to control her words or her anger for almost losing Michael and now losing Alex.
Alex took two steps back stunned by Nikita's answer. She couldn't really believe that, could she?
" If you want to accuse someone for almost losing Michael, accuse your fucking relationship. I wasn't the one who couldn't handle losing a hand and almost destroyed my relationship because of that. I wasn't the one who made a deal with unknown scientists because my fiance thought that his hand was more important from everything else." Alex whispered with anger trying not to shout or punch Nikita.
" You haven't lost a part of your body, so don't accuse Michael" Nikita shouted annoyed.
Alex walked towards her slowly and stared at her eyes, her body inches away from Nikita's.
" You are right, I have never lost a part of my body. I have just gotten my soul ripped away from me every single day for years." Alex said coldly.
Nikita looked back at her with tears in her eyes. She had gone too far. She had let her anger take control and she had said things that she shouldn't and she didn't believe.
" Do you have anything else to accuse me for?" Alex asked more calmly than before.
Nikita opened her mouth to apology but she was stopped when Michael came running towards them.
" Everything fine?" Michael asked sensing the tense between the girls.
" Perfect" Alex replied and smiled at him.
Michael glared at her and then at Nikita. He could see that something was wrong but he didn't have time to press the girls now.
" We have an upcoming call from Amanda" Michael said and kept his gaze on Nikita examining her figure and trying to understand what had just happened.
" Of course and we have" Alex said defeated. Of course Amanda would like to taunt her a little. She sent her here for a reason, for a lesson, she would like to know if her student took the message.
" Let's talk" Nikita said and gestured to Alex to come with them in ops.
" Go and I will be there in 30 secs. She can wait that much" Alex said and Nikita and Michael left not asking any question. They knew that Amanda would probably want to talk with Alex and Alex might need some time to compose herself.
Alex turned around and took out the bottle with the drugs. She opened it and glared at its context. Then she smiled and closed it.
" I am stronger than that. I can handle Nikita's anger and Amanda's mind games and anything else that is going to happen" Alex said and walked towards the ops.
She paused awhile before entering.
" Let's play cards, teacher" Alex said sarcastically and entered the room. She knew that Amanda was a great opponent and she would probably have a lot of things to use against her but today, Alex had a special lesson for Amanda, she just hoped that Amanda would get her package on time for the great finale. It was time for Alex to step up and make it clear to Amanda that she wasn't an easy target.
She joined the others in ops making it sure that she had kept some distance from everyone. She needed to maintain her cover that she didn't care from anyone. She gave one last look at Nikita quietly apologizing for what she was about to do later.
" Let's chat" Alex said firmly and Amanda's face popped up on the screen.