" Let's chat" Alex said firmly and Amanda's face popped up on the screen.
" Hello Division" Amanda said and smirked to her audience.
" What do you want Amanda?" Nikita asked coldly. She was still upset from her previous fight with Alex and she wanted to apology to Alex for blaming her for Michael's status, she wasn't responsible and she knew it, but as always Amanda had a horrible timing and she cut the girls in the middle.
" Birkoff, don't waste your time trying to locate me. You won't be able." Amanda said noticing Birkoff typing in an amazing speed on his keyboard.
" I don't think that we need Birkoff to locate you. You have left a lot of leads behind you. How is Spain?" Alex replied to Amanda's comment.
Everyone looked at Alex. Nikita's jaw dropped in surprise that Alex knew where Amanda is and she didn't say anything. Nikita shook her head and glared at Amanda and she saw Amanda's eyes widely opened in shock.
" If you know where I am, then why your team isn't there storming around?" Amanda asked trying to wipe her disbelief from her voice.
" I wasn't after you Amanda. You came after me. And my team isn't there because I am not crazy enough to send my team after you." Alex replied calmly.
" You didn't really expect me to let you just walk away after everything, right?" Amanda chocked in total disbelief.
" Amanda, you know that you gave me the chance to run away in Russia, right? And just to answer your question, no, i didn't expect you to let everything down and not come after me but I must admit that I am a little disappointed, messing up with two different teams at the same time doesn't seem a smart choice." Alex said seriously and enjoyed seeing the disbelief in Amanda's eyes.
" The result of our war will make it clear who made the smart choices and who not" Amanda retorted coldly returning into her normal, cruel and cold self.
" Of course" Alex agreed.
" Why Nikita isn't here in Spain after me?" Amanda changed the subject.
" And send her directly into your opened arms? I don't think so." Alex replied coldly.
" I though that you didn't care" Amanda retorted sarcastically.
" It isn't everything black and white." Alex said simply and Amanda nodded accepting her response.
" What do you want Amanda?" Nikita asked harsh.
" Manners, Nikita. I just want to chat. You can't kick me out of the system for awhile so don't get too upset because I haven't started yet." Amanda instructed Nikita, who looked at her in disgust.
" Michael good to see you safe and sound!" Amanda said sarcastically when Nikita didn't respond.
" I bet you do" Michael replied with hate in his voice. This woman had almost killed him and now she was talking to them like nothing happened.
Amanda sighed amused with their cold reaction.
" Did you get your lesson, Alex?" Amanda asked curiously. She loved playing games with Alex. Since the very begining of their relationship, Amanda enjoyed having Alex as her opponent. She didn't get bored because Alex was good. She had defied her torture, her mind games, even her brain surgery.
" Oh, yes. 16 hours can pass really quickly and I am extremely lucky running through your fucking bullets without getting myself killed. " Alex replied sarcastically and angrily and smiled at Amanda. She wasn't going to let Amanda win so easily. She almost killed Michael. Alex was ready to play Amanda's game but Amanda might not be ready to play her own game with Alex as the enemy.
" I gave you a lot of clues to understand the lesson. You are clever. I know that you have gotten the message." Amanda said annoyed that Alex didn't play along with her.
" I might have gotten distracted by the picture of your fleshmath or of the image of my younger self talking to you, sorry." Alex retorted and smiled.
" I know why you wanted me here. And let me guess the title of your lesson 'the people that we care about can cause us pain, so stop caring' , right?" Alex requested softly.
" Something like that" Amanda replied satisfied that Alex had gotten her message.
" Amanda, the only thing that causes me pain is my sprained ankle. Do you have any advices for that, too?" Alex said sarcastically and Amanda's grin fainted from her face understanding that Alex was too stubborn to give up easily.
" You came back because you care about them, you left your mission behind and ran back to Division hurting yourself in the process because you care. Stop caring, it holds you back." Amanda explained calmly. She needed to be patient with Alex, she couldn't let Alex upset her.
" Let's see if you can follow your own advice" Alex challenged Amanda, who looked at her curiously.
" You don't mind to play a game with me, do you?" Alex requested softly.
" Bring it on" Amanda replied firmly but she didn't expect what was coming.
" I just want you to tell me what to do" Alex explained the rules.
Amanda looked at her and nodded.
" Let's see if you have stopped caring, too" Alex whispered and took a deep breathe.
Everyone was staring at Alex. What was she playing?
Alex slowly put her hand in her pocket and took a deep breathe. She looked at Amanda and smiled. She took out the bottle with the pills and show it to her.
" Vicodin." Alex said simply.
Nikita gasped in shock and ran towards Alex grabbing her hand.
" You are using again?" Nikita shouted angrily in shock.
Alex looked at her and then at Amanda.
" Let go off of my hand, Nikita, now" Alex ordered seriously and Nikita shook her head in denial refusing to let Alex take any drugs.
Alex looked at Sean giving him a gaze full of meanings. Sean smiled understanding that Alex wasn't going to use drugs not in front of Nikita not because of Amanda not ever. He moved towards the girls and pulled Nikita away from Alex despite Nikita's struggles.
" You knew that she is using again?" Nikita yelled at Sean not understanding what was going on.
" Alex, please." Nikita cried begging Alex not to take drugs. Seeing Alex holding a bottle of pills ready to drug herself if Amanda tells her so was killing her. She had helped Alex get cleaned, she had fought with her her addiction and she had failed her, pushing towards her relapse after Mia. She hadn't yet forgiven herself for not being there for Alex and it was heartbreaking to see Alex on the edge holding drugs one more time.
" I am sorry for the interruption, Amanda. So how many do you want me to take? One, two? More? You want me to overdose myself? Give me a number and I will comply" Alex ordered and twisted the cap opening the bottle.
" What are you doing?" Amanda asked confused. She didn't understand Alex's game. She didn't want Alex to take drugs. She never wanted that. When she was a recruit, she had confronted Alex and tried to give her other exits instead of drugs. She didn't want Alex to relapse. She could use the drugs to torture Alex but she never wanted her to become addicted again.
" I will take your answer as you don't want me to get addicted again. Of course not because you care but hmmm maybe because I won't suffer enough if I am high or something like that" Alex said casually and hide the bottle again.
" What are you doing?" Amanda asked again harsh. This game wasn't going as she wanted. If she couldn't order Alex to hurt herself then Alex would win. But she couldn't do it. It was another thing to torture someone and another to stand by and watch her self-destruct.
" Patience. You will see." Alex replied and took out her gun. She checked the bullets and smiled.
" Forget about me, I have to suffer. I won't even try to bring Nikita into this game, I guess that she has to suffer, too. What about Michael?" Alex added and pointed her gun at Michael.
Nikita started struggling in Sean's hug trying to get free and take the gun from Alex's hand while everyone else was staring at her trying to understand her game. They knew that Alex wasn't going to kill them or hurt them but they were curious.
" Alex have you gone crazy? Put that gun down or I will kick your fucking ass!" Nikita yelled her lungs out.
" Give me the order, Amanda and I will end his life." Alex said firmly.
Amanda didn't say anything. She just stared at Alex trying to figure out the game.
" I thought so" Alex replied to Amanda's silence and hide her gun.
" You don't want me to kill Michael. Not because you care and you don't want to hurt Nikita, of course not. You want to use him in another way to hurt Nikita, right?" Alex added and looked at Amanda.
" What game are you playing?" Amanda asked curiously.
" I am playing your game. I am proving you that you care." Alex replied.
" So, TEACHER, let me give you one advice. Before you try to manipulate my feelings again, before you try to teach me a lesson, teach yourself. Do yourself a favor and don't tell me again that the trick is not to care when you still care because sooner or later you will lose my respect. Don't give me advices that even you don't follow" Alex said coldly.
" I don't care, Alex. You are just not allowed to die yet. You have to suffer first, you have to regret for your choices, you have to kneel in front of me, you have to lose everything, you have to beg me, Alex. Only then you will have my permission to die. Only then I will show you mercy and I will give you the gift of the death." Amanda replied with hate in her voice.
" Or you will never give me your permission to die. The only reason that you think that love is liability is because you can't overpower it. " Alex commented coldly.
" Love is weakness." Amanda retorted firmly.
" I can understand why you feel this way. In your eyes we betray you and we hurt you and you hate us for this but you can't bring yourself to kill us. For god shakes, you revive me, Amanda. You killed me and then brought me back to life." Alex said firmly.
" And I know how it feels to have so much pain and anger and hate against someone that you love. I know how it feels to struggle to bring yourself to take revenge on this person. I know how it feels to live this internal battle between love and hate, revenge and forgiveness. I know it because I have been there. And it is normal, Amanda, to feel this way. But love isn't a weakness. Something that can overpower your darkest feelings, your hate and your need to take revenge isn't weakness. It is strength." Alex added.
" You are a dreamer, Alex. Anything that keeps you away from your goal is weakness." Amanda commented softly. Alex's words had shaken her because that was exacty how she felt, she was trying to bring herself to hate and kill Alex and Nikia, but she couldn't because she cared...maybe loved them, too.
" I think that you know that I am right" Alex replied.
" Look who speaks? You talk about feelings when you can't identify your own ones. If you have the balls, Alex, then give me an answer to my question, don't avoid answering me. You didn't reply in Russia. Answer me now. Why?" Amanda said coldly as ice. She needed to show to Alex that she had the upper hand, that she was right and Alex was wrong, that she knew her feelings while Alex didn't. If Alex denied to reply again to her question 'why you don't hate her? why are you still with her?' then Amanda would win this round, and if Alex replied then Nikita would probably get hurt by the memory of the period that Alex turned her back on her. She would win anyway.
" Why I don't hate Nikita? Why are you so obsessed with this question?" Alex asked softly.
" I am just curious and your unwillingliness to reply in Russia made me more curious. Are you going to answer now or you are afraid to face your feelings?" Amanda replied harsh.
" Of course. Short answer; I can't hate her" Alex said seriously.
" Long answer?" Amanda requested calmly.
" I wasted a lot of time trying to bring myself to hate her but I realised that when I hurt her, I hurt myself. The past isn't worthy, revenge isn't worthy. I can't hate her because I love her. Satisfied enough or you need more explanation?" Alex replied coldly. She didn't like to speak about her feelings towards Nikita before Amanda but she knew that it was the only way to shake Amanda a little and maybe implant the doubt about the value of hate.
" Your father, your childhood, your soul and your heart aren't worthy of your hate against her? She destroyed your life and you just can't hate her?" Amanda asked in disbelief.
" And if I hate her what is it going to change? I can't turn the time back and I don't want to. What is done is done. I am not going to let my whole life being haunted by the ghosts of my past. I have learnt to live for the present." Alex replied softly. She didn't want to make the conversation more heated than it was.
Amanda looked at Nikita and smiled. She kept her gaze fixed on her and Nikita felt the fear inside her rising, she knew that gaze well and it never ended up nicely.
" So if you could kill Nikita and bring back your father right now, you wouldn't take the shot?" Amanda asked and didn't take her eyes away from Nikita, whose eyes filled with unshed tears.
" Excuse me?" Alex asked confused.
" If I can bring your father back in return of Nikita's life, what will you choose? In fact, let me make it more clear for you, I will bring your father back if you kill Nikita right now, you know that I have the skills and the contacts to do so, I gave Michael his hand back." Amanda said calmly and smirked to Nikita, who she couldn't hold her feelings back anymore and let her tears to fall. She was sure that Alex would take the shot and she wouldn't try anything to stop her. She had destroyed Alex's life and if Alex wanted to have her father back, she would accept her choice.
Alex laughed.
" I will show what I will do." Alex said and took out her gun. She pointed at Nikita, who had started crying silently.
" Do it, Alex" Nikita requested and gave Alex a small nod that she was with her no matter her choice.
Alex smiled at her and then suddenly she threw her gun on the floor before Nikita.
" Got your answer?" Alex asked and stared at the broken figure of Nikita, who looked at her in shock.
" You choose Nikita?" Amanda gasped in shock.
" Yap. I love my father and I miss him but I will never sacrifice someone's life to bring him back. I will never sacrifice the now for the past. If you want me to kill Nikita, you should be more creative, give me something worth hating." Alex said with hate towards Amanda.
" And because I know your next question; if my father was alive and Nikita was going to kill him then if I hadn't a clean shot to her hand-not her head- I would have just jumped in front of the bullet. I wouldn't have killed her." Alex added firmly.
" So.." Amanda started but she was cut off when the door behind her opened.
" I told you that I don't want to be interrupted" Amanda said angrily to her man.
" I know madam but I think that you would want to be interrupted" her man replied.
" And why is that?" Amanda shouted annoyed.
" Because we got in our hands a package for your eyes only from Alex" the man replied. He walked towards Amanda, handed her the package and ran out of the room before Amanda snapped out of her shock state and shot him.