" Because we got in our hands a package for your eyes only from Alex" the man replied. He walked towards Amanda, handed her the package and ran out of the room before Amanda snapped out of her shock state and shot him.
" Sometime today doesn't mean withing couple of hours, Tom" Alex whispered to herself.
Amanda was staring at the package in front of her with wide eyes. She couldn't understand what was happening. How did the package come in their hands? What Alex sent her? Why Alex sent her a package? Quickly she composed herself and the mask of the deathly calm returned to her face.
Nikita and the others were standing still in complete shock.
Amanda took the package on her hands and she was about to open it when Alex cut her off.
" Don't" Alex shouted nervously. She knew that if Amanda opened the file there wasn't a way back and she needed to do something to minimize the outbrust.
" You sent this package to me for a reason, right? You want me to open it" Amanda replied confused.
" Yes, I sent it for a reason but it isn't the reason that you will think if you open it now. Can we talk about it first?" Alex requested worried.
" We can talk after I open it right?" Amanda asked confused trying to understand why Alex was suddenly so nervous.
" No, I don't think that we will be able to talk about that then" Alex said defeated and stared at Amanda.
Amanda decided to play along and let down the package.
" And why is that?" Amanda asked curiously and made herself comfortable in the chair.
" Because I am absolutely sure that When and If you decide to open the package, your hate towards me will reach a new unimaginable level and I don't think that between threats and warnings and shouts we will manage to talk." Alex replied honestly.
" I don't think that I can hate you more than I already do" Amanda commented coldly.
" I am not sure about that. And besides everything If I were you, I wouldn't want to see the context of the package while I have audience." Alex replied softly.
" I am not afraid of a stupid package" Amanda retorted annoyed. Receiving advices from Alex was at least annoyed.
" That is your choice." Alex mentioned.
" Tell me what I need to know about this package before I open it." Amanda requested.
" It isn't a payback. Believe it or not I didn't send this file in order to hurt you. I know that you will make me regret it, but Amanda in advance you need to know that I am sorry. I never wanted to do to you what you did to me but I guess that this is the only way to shake you. I am really sorry" Alex said honestly and stared at Amanda with an apologetic gaze.
" There is nothing that can hurt me. Can I open it now?" Amanda replied coldly as ice.
Alex nodded in defiance and took a deep breathe.
Amanda took the package in her hands one more time and opened it revealing a file. She took out the file and opened it. As soon as she saw the first page, she jumped up in shock and threw the file down.
Nikita stared at Amanda in complete shock. For first she saw something other than emptiness in Amanda's eyes. She saw pain and fear. Amanda's eyes were filling with tears that she tried too hard to hold back and compose herself.
Alex seeing Amanda's reaction dropped her head and felt her own eyes burning with tears. She never wanted to be the source of emotional pain. Yes, Amanda was a sadistic bitch and she had hurt a lot of people but none deserved that, even Amanda. Alex didn't want to do what Amanda did to her but it was the only way to shake Amanda, it was the only way to win her in her own game. She needed to play along.
Amanda's form was still shaking when she spoke.
" How did you... how did you find out?" Amanda asked trying to remain calm.
" I made my research" Alex replied her gaze fixed on the floor.
" How long do you know?" Amanda asked in shock.
" About a year" Alex said softly still not daring to look at Amanda.
Amanda took a deep breathe trying to control herself feeling the anger rising inside her. She was ready to explode.
" WHY THE HELL DID YOU MAKE THE RESEARCH IN FIRST PLEASE AND HOW ARE YOU DARING TO SEND THIS FILE TO ME, YOU BITCH?" Amanda yelled her frustation out.
Alex looked up at Amanda's face. She could see her veins trembled on her head, she could sense her anger and her pain.
" YOU WILL REGRET IT ALEX. YOU WILL REGRET MESSING UP WITH ME LIKE THAT." Amanda threatened screaming.
" I didn't send it to hurt you." Alex replied calmly.
Amanda laughed evilly.
" You didn't send it to hurt me? Then why?" Amanda said in an hysterical tone and looked like a crazy woman.
" To remind you that you are better than that. To remind that you are better than what they did to you. To remind you what is under your mask." Alex said firmly.
" This is who I am Alex. " Amanda shouted and pointed to herself.
" No Amanda, this isn't who you are, this is what you despise. You think that what happened to you made you but it didn't. We make ourselves. The people around us give us some directions but it is our choice which path we are going to walk." Alex replied.
" You did that for Nikita, she did that for me and someone did it for you. But we give directions, Amanda, not orders. Nikita isn't you and I amn't Nikita just like you aren't you know who. You chose to put on this mask because you need to feel in control. You chose to enjoy causing pain because for once you weren't the one who had to suffer. You chose to bury your real self. We live with our choices, Amanda. Don't blame them for what you have become." Alex added.
" I chose to become better than they were. I am a better bitch, I am a better torturor. I completed the research, I successfully erased people's memories and I moved on." Amanda yelled.
" Move on? You have just put a mask, Amanda. You have never managed to move on. You have never managed to get rid of HELEN" Alex retorted angrily.
" Don't you dare call me like that!" Amanda yelled frustated unable to control her temper.
" But this is who you are, Amanda. You used to despise what you have become. You committed your first murder in order to escape what you have become. Helen is part of you." Alex said softly trying to reason Amanda.
" Helen died that night." Amanda replied firmly with hate in her voice.
" Amanda died that night, Helen survived and put a mask running away from her problems." Alex corrected her.
" Helen has died." Amanda whispered trying to convice even her own self.
" We all wear masks, Amanda. Sometimes because we are scared that if the people around us know who we really are they will hate us, sometimes because we are afraid or ashamed of our real selves, sometimes because it is easier to wear a mask than to deal with the problems. But sometimes we wear masks for so long and we build a whole life around this mask, we live the lie until it becomes our lives. But that doesn't mean that what is under the mask will go away. You have to deal with your real you. You might turn into something worse, you might turn into something better but it will be real." Alex argued calmly.
" Are you talking from experience?" Amanda asked sarcastically trying to put her emotions under control.
" Of course. I wear masks, too. But at least I know what it is under the surface. Do you know what it is under your mask, Amanda?" Alex returned the question.
" And what is there under your mask, Alex? It is Alexandra, a coldblood murdered, someone who would do anything to gain power or Sasha, a cheap whore who had lost account of how many men have been inside her or someone else?" Amanda retorted with hate.
Alex shallowed the lumb on her throat and stared at Amanda.
" All of that and much more" Alex replied trying to remain calm.
" Drop your mask and then we will talk about mine." Amanda requested with anger.
" So you do wear mask!" Alex exclaimed and smiled that she had manipulated Amanda to admit that she wears mask.
" Does Nikita know what you really are? Does Sean know what you are?" Amanda replied and sat down. She had finally managed to put her emotions under control and she was determined to destroy Alex once and for all. Alex had to pay.
" Go ahead. Enlighten them. It is your turn again, but then don't complain when my turn comes. Expose my real self to them." Alex challenged and took a step back signaling to Amanda that she wasn't going to interrupt her.
" Alexandra Udinov is a coldblood murderer, empty of any emotions without regrets. I remember that Nikolai had told me that you had witnessed your first murder when you were 3. At the age of 11, you learnt that your father was a murdered and you accepted your heritage, you accepted that you would have to murder and torture people and you never complaint, you didn't like it but you didn't do anything to change the situation either." Amanda started.
" I must guess that your relationship with my father lasted more than a couple of months. You weren't one night stand, were you?" Alex cut her off curiously.
" No, I wasn't." Amanda replied calmly.
" You think that you know her, Nikita? You think that she is good? She is pure evil!" Amanda added and stared at Nikita.
" I know who Alexandra is, I know that she is part of Alex and I am fine with that. You want to speak about evil, speak about yourself." Nikita replied angrily. She couldn't stand hearing Amanda talk about evil. She knew who Alexandra is, she had seen Alexandra in Alex's eyes several times but that didn't mean that she was evil.
" Amanda, what about you? You think that you know who Alexandra Udinov is?" Alex asked calmly.
" Yes. I met her when she was 4. She was a leader from that age and she still is. You are nothing more than a coldblood murdered, you enjoy killing, you enjoy being in control." Amanda replied calmly.
" You have no idea who Alexandra is, Amanda and trust me you don't want to meet her." Alex exclaimed with hate and disgust in her voice.
" Are you afraid of yourself Alex?" Amanda asked amused.
" Afraid of myself? No, I know who I am and what I am capable of. But you should be afraid of Alexandra, as you said before she has no morals, no limits, no hesitation." Alex replied with a deadly tone.
" I would really like to see, Alexandra. Our game would reach a whole different level if you let yourself free, if you stop holding back, if you enjoy the game, if you release your beast." Amanda said coldly.
" Amanda don't go to the forest if you aren't ready to fight the wolves. Consider that as a warning" Alex pleaded and Amanda stared at her in shock. Alex threatening her was something that she wasn't used to.
" Are we finished with Alexandra, now? What else do you think that there is under my mask?" Alex ended the conversation about Alexandra and requested Amanda to continue with her game.
" We are finished for now... Sasha, another name, another lie, another mask." Amanda commented calmly.
" Do you know with how many have you slept, Alex? Sean?" Amanda added satisfied seeing Alex's eyes. There is a crack on the surface, Amanda was finally getting to Alex, she was winning this round.
" No, I don't know. I stopped counting" Alex whispered sadly.
" Well, I did my research. With your numbers and prices I must guess that you were one of the best sluts that the world has ever known" Amanda commented.
" Don't call her slut" Nikita and Sean shouted in union angrily.
" You have still not gotten used with the idea that she had sex more times that all the people inside Division would ever have in union?, have you?" Amanda retorted amused.
" She was being raped" Nikita yelled frustated with her own tears falling on her cheeks. She couldn't see Amanda trying to hurt Alex like that. She wanted to shut her up. She didn't want to hear anything else. She didn't want to know how many people have raped Alex because of her. She didn't want Alex to have a number in her mind while she was still struglling with the idea.
" Just tell me the fucking number" Alex interrupted starting to lose control of her feelings. She knew that this number will haunt her for ever and it might destroy her relationship with the others but she wasn't going to let Amanda win. She needed to go through that.
" 1378 DIFFERENT MEN AND 514 WOMEN" Amanda yelled and laughed evilly seeing the shock in Nikita's eyes and the defeated figure of Alex.
" She could have slept with Michael and she wouldn't even remember it" Amanda tried to shake Nikita more.
" Actually you are wrong. I would have remembered it. I remember every single person, I remember their faces, their tastes. I remember the hunger in their eyes, I remember every single room, every beating, every rape, every gang, every tear. I remember every single day of those years. I just didn't know the number. 1378 men and 514 women. Thanks for the information" Alex said and her pain was obvious in her voice.
But it was Sean's turn to step up.
" Actually you are wrong, Amanda. She had slept with 1380 men, you forgot to add Nathan and me" Sean said coldly and walked towards Alex and kept her in his hug. Alex glared at him in surprise and let some tears to fall.
Amanda looked at Sean in complete shock.
" She is more fucked up than you can even imagine. She is so used." Amanda commented in disgust.
" And that explains why she is so amazing at bed" Sean retorted softly.
" Sean!" Alex yelled in surprise. She was happy that Sean had stepped up to defend her but talking about their sexual life before everyone was embarassing.
" You want to know the difference between those men and me? They had sex with her, while I make love with her. I am a lucky man. I don't care about how many people had slept with her, because I am the one who wakes up in the moring and see her lying besides me, I am the one who can hold her and tell her that I love her, I am the one who can see behind her mask" Sean said calmly and kissed Alex.
" But she hasn't accepted your proposal, has she?" Amanda argued and smiled.
" We don't need symbols. We don't need rings and marriages. We have something better to hold on. If she doesn't want to accept my proposal or if she needs time for any reason, I am okay with that. Do you know why, Amanda? Because our hearts talk to each other and I know what she wants and what she needs. I don't need her to accept my proposal to prove me that she loves me because I already know that she does. And I will be with her no matter what her decision would be, I will be with her even if she decides that she is happier with some other guy, because this is what LOVE means." Sean replied calmly and hugged Alex tighter, who turned around and whispered in his ear
" I love you".
Amanda was in shock and Nikita was as happy as she could. She was in pain that because of her decision to hand her to the chauffer Alex had suffered so much, but absolutely amazed that Alex had finally found someone like Sean, who didn't care about her past but about her present.
" Anything else, Amanda? Come on, enlighten us more." Nikita challenged with hate in her voice.
Amanda shook her head in disbelief. How that was possible? How she was unable to break their bond?
" Alex? Anything else under your mask?" Amanda asked still in a state of shock.
" A lot, but you don't expect me to enlighten you, do you?" Alex retorted with a soft smile. Amanda had lost in her own game. She had tried to break their bond but she had managed it to make it stronger.
" So, I must guess that now is my turn again" Alex added when Amanda remained silent.