A/N - If you're one of my teachers, please spare me the awkwardness and just skip this chapter. If you insist on reading it, please dear God forget I'm the author. Also, keep in mind that you're doing this to yourself. I told you not to read it.

"So, Severus has been teaching you Occlumency?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'm sure you're quite skilled, then."

"She proven herself to be a capable student." Severus said, his voice kept neatly in control. Hermione was hesitant to look at him for fear of what she might see in his face. Or worse, even, that she wouldn't see anything at all.

"May I?"

"Oh." Hermione wasn't quite sure what to do with herself, but nodded and met Professor Dumbledore's eyes. "Sure."

Severus sighed as Albus's eyes dimmed, his consciousness becoming effectively occupied with Hermione's mindscape. He knew she was strong, but wasn't sure if she'd be able to resist Albus. He could get very pushy when he thought someone was hiding something. Severus knew that first hand. But there was no better Occlumens than Severus... Of that, he was confident. It took more than an average wizard to lie regularly to one of the greatest of all time. Severus would have to be content knowing that Hermione had been learning from someone as skilled as he was. And grateful that she was such an intelligent and diligent student. Severus cringed to even imagine having to teach Occlumency to Weasley... or Potter.

But there were more pressing matters at hand than how secure Hermione's mind was. If Severus could think of something to amend his blunder, a way to change the Dark Lord's mind, a way to keep Hermione safe, her Occlumency skills would cease to matter at all.

But how? How in the bloody fucking wizarding world was he going to fix this? His mind wasn't right... It wasn't clear... Bloody emotions were clogging him all up, making him behave irrationally, recklessly...

Severus tossed back the bedsheet draped over his body with a wince and rose from the hospital cot, fighting to ignore the pain ravaging through his every fiber. Glancing at Hermione's face one last time, pausing momentarily in uncertainty as to whether the sight of her made the pain better or worse, Severus forced his eyes away with a snarl and swiftly left the hospital wing.

Hermione felt cold.

She hadn't at first, and she wasn't sure why she did now. But her concentration had broken, and she felt like a blanket that had been wrapped around her had been lifted and tossed away, leaving her chilled and exposed. The library inside her mind blurred, and the aisle grew wider, some disappearing altogether. Dumbledore raised his head from a book he'd been flipping through; one of her experience aiding Harry in collecting the Sorcerer's Stone.

Hermione felt her heart begin to race.

Dumbledore placed the book gently back on the shelf and began walking towards the hidden room where -

No, she would not allow him to see -

A few more turns, and he'd be there. She'd deterred him, fought his penetrating, clever attacks, thwarted his every move to advance, and now -

Facing the door, mere steps away -

She would not let Severus down. Not after seeing his face tonight, not after holding his cold body and listening to Madam Pomfrey tell Dumbledore about the damage. How he couldn't keep doing this, how one of these days he was going to come in and -

NO!

Hermione's eyes flashed open. Professor Dumbledore stood before her, observing her curiously.

"I, I'm sorry about that. We can try again, sir. I don't know what happened."

Dumbleore gave her a soft smile that for once seemed to reach his eyes.

"It's all right, my dear. I'm happy to say that your defences are adequate, if not impressive. You managed to keep me at bay for quite some you hadn't gotten..." He waved his hand, "distracted, I'm not sure I could have accessed what you were keeping from me without completely obliterating your mind."

As soon as he'd said those words, Hermione instantly realized what felt off.

"Where's Sev - Professor Snape?"

Dumbledore turned his attention to the bed, "Yes, he left."

"Where?"

"Not a clue."

"He... He can't be up! Sir, he was nearly killed!"

"This wouldn't be the first time Severus has decided to forgo rest and recovery to save his pride, Miss Granger."

"Uh, I don't-"

"Now, where were we?"

"Professor Snape -"

"Let's re-convene in my office. We'll finish our discussion about your new role there."

Severus paced down the corridor of the dungeon, head bowed and lank hair falling over his face in a curtain of protection.

He wanted to light it on fire. Just let it burn. Let it spread down his entire body and engulf him and fucking turn him to ash.

He brushed it back behind his ear. If he couldn't protect Hermione, he sure as hell didn't deserve any form of comfort and reassurance for himself. Not even the smallest little bloody hair.

"Fuck." He breathed. His hands balled into fists and he turned on the stone wall, kicking it will all his strength. He fell into it, all bony elbows and slamming fists, the top of his head pressed into the moist surface for balance as he beat himself bloody in frustration.

"Merlin fuck." His hands fell quiet and flat against the stone and he sunk to his knees, bowed against the wall. His cloak pooled around him, catching the drops of blood from his knuckles.

He stayed that way, letting goosebumps rise on his skin as the cold of the dungeon seeped past his clothes and deep into his bones, and as a drop of dew dripped down from the stone onto his nose, smearing drops of sweat as it fell, following the curve until it reached the roman arc, just waiting for gravity to pull it into descent.

His eyes closed. He tried to relax, to still his mind... calm, lapping waves of clear lake water... And when it came, when it finally came, all he could see was himself swimming, treading, keeping his head just above water, just enough to breathe... But not her. No, never her. He could never, ever save her.

But this time, sweet Merlin, he would have her. He would have her and hold her and keep her head above the water with him for as long as he could. He would fight every second in every way to stay beside her, and God, when she finally went down, he would go down with her. This time was different. She was different.

He knew, in this state of mind, what the answer was. What the solution was. He saw clearly that there wasn't one at all. And he believed it, because the irrational thought was gone, the emotion was gone, and what was left was the truth.

It didn't change anything. It didn't change anything a single fucking bit.

Well, it did change one thing...

Hermione said her polite good-bye to Professor Dumbledore and used all of her self-restraint to keep herself from slamming the oak door of his office as she left. It helped immensely that the thing was far too heavy for her to slam anyway. She didn't manage to keep herself from stomping down the winding marble steps, however, and she reveled in the feeling until she came into sight of the main corridor of Hogwarts, which was buzzing with students getting on with their day.

Hermione was honestly getting sick of Dumbledore. She was getting sick with seeing him, with hearing his voice, with those annoying twinkling eyes. And she was really getting sick of that nasty twinge of guilt that rocked her brain every time she thought something negative about the man. After all she'd seen and heard from him... No, he was still the leader of the Light... He'd defeated Grindelwald and was on his way to defeating Voldemort as well... He'd saved millions of lives!

And he'd condemned the only one that seemed to really matter.

Hermione had listened and nodded, and all the while, she'd brainstormed.

She hadn't needed to really pay attention. Professor Dumbledore had made it quite clear that she was to report to him constantly with information and for guidance. She knew how he controlled Severus, and she knew he'd control her the same way.

So she'd let her creative juices flow. Her desperate creative juices, which were even more effective, honestly. And she'd come up with something brilliant. Horrible, but brilliant.

She could do it.

She'd let her lioness take over, instincts fueled by the desire to protect and destroy. The lioness was hungry for revenge. Itching for justice. That wild side of Hermione would do anything, once unleashed, for the one she cared about most.

She would spare Severus from carrying out the most difficult, painful, soul-destroying act one could ask of a witch of wizard. She'd prove her unquestionable allegiance to Voldemort and work with Severus from the inside to destroy him.

But before she did any of that, she was going to feed her own desires.

Severus rose from where he was leaning against the wall, driven by a newfound energy that came with the determination for what he was about to do. His dragon hide boots slammed against the floor, echoing through the damp dungeon as he strode forward. He had never been so confident in what he wanted as he was right now.

Hermione practically ran through Hogwarts on her way down to the dungeon, taking the stairs two steps at a time. She hardly even recognized that she had missed a step until she was tumbling head first down the stairwell.

"Ooph!" Came a deep voice as strong arms wrapped around her, scooping her up into the air. "Hermione?" Severus sounded near breathless yet incredibly fierce.

"Yeah."

"Are you alright?" Her momentum had sent him slamming back into the curve of the wall, but he was able to balance them both. Hermione waited for him to set her down, but he kept hold of her, one arm under her knees, the other around her shoulders as if she were his bride.

"Yeah." There was hardly enough light to make out his features, but there was a candle a few feet up that cast a flickering light across one side of his face. Hermione had a fleeting thought of the Phantom of the Opera; her own black clad, half-faced mystery man with lips hovering inches from hers.

"Yeah?" Severus repeated, licking his lips. His eyes remained fixed on hers.

Hermione brought her hand up to grasp the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair. She pressed gently, bringing him close enough for their lips to brush.

"Mm... Yeah." Severus kissed her back as she spoke, and Hermione got so distracted that she forgot if she was going to add anything else.

Severus let her slip out of his arms, running one hand up her back, pulling her close as he cupped her cheek in his palm and brought her in for another kiss. Hermione grabbed his shirt, bunching it in her left hand as she pressed even harder with her right against his head. Her body arched against him involuntarily, and his body bowed beneath her. He hoisted her up again, this time reaching an arm around her bottom, and pushed off from the wall.

Hermione wrapped her legs around Severus's back, then followed suit with her arms, enclosing his neck. He kept on hand planted firmly on one cheek of her rear, bunching it tight as he hoisted her higher, securing her position around him.

"Oh God," Hermione murmured, grinding her pelvic bone against his belt, rocking back and forth against him uncontrollably. Severus nibbled her lip playfully, then brought his own to her right ear. He pushed her back roughly against the wall, evoking a squeak, and said gruffly,

"Do you want this, Hermione?"

"Oh, God..."

"Tell me if you want it..."

"Yes..."

His hands were all over her, his knee propped between her legs. She squirmed, desperate for him to touch her, to really touch her, but he brushed his delicate, long fingers over her arms, her legs, her hair, her cheeks, a thumb pushed against her lips, slipping in just enough for her to feel it against her teeth and then it was gone.

"Say it."

"Severus..."

She searched for anywhere to plant her lips, burying them into his neck, kissing repeatedly and sucking against the crook of his jawbone, nuzzling his ear.

"I want you." She whispered finally, getting enough of a bearing over herself to say the words.

It seemed that was all Severus needed to hear as he yanked her from the wall, holding her tight against his chest, breathing heavily into her ear as he carried her to his quarters.

Severus left his hold on her loose enough so that she jostled with every long stride he took, smirking as she whimpered sounds of pleasure against his neck. He knew that she was sitting against his hips in just the right position to be against his belt buckle, and god, he was going to take advantage of it.

Those words... "I want you." He couldn't fathom, couldn't even process what they meant, hadn't thought he'd believe them if he ever heard them, but the way she said it... Merlin fuck... His hips bucked against her as she rubbed against his hips, and he fought every urge not to stop in the corridor to take her then and there. And he could feel it, more than anything; he could feel the want in her lips and her touch and even her god-damned scent.

And he wanted her just as much.

"Merlin, Hermione." He growled out against her as they finally reached the door. He flicked his wrist and sent it flying open, barreling into the room.

"I want..."

Incoherent moan.

"You..."

His knees buckled and they fell onto the couch. Severus cradled her head at the last second so it didn't slam into the arm rest.

"Too."

Lips on lips, shared breath, his tongue slips through her teeth.

He says it again. "I want you, Hermione."

"Sev-ruuus..."

"God, sweet Merlin, I want you."

He rocks against her, mouth over her's again, digging deeper and deeper, tongues swirling and dancing.

His hands travel down her sides, mapping the curves of her skin, reaching the hem of her shirt and slipping beneath.

"Oooh." She breathes. Her skin is warm and his fingers are ice cold. He rubs his thumbs over the goosebumps on her hips.

She rocks them upward against him and he pushes back, jabbing her roughly with his belt in rapid succession, unable to control himself.

"God," She jolts, and the word slips out loud and raw. They catch eachother's eyes and he smirks, doing it again. Her eyes roll back. His hands flatten and push into her abdomen, moving up over her ribs. He can hear the faint thumping sound as his palms bump over the ridges, is so aware of her chest expanding and falling as she breathes lust against his lips, and then he's cupping her breasts over her bra.

She arches her chest against his hands, her hips lying still. Her hands brace against his wrists, vices holding him molded around her, and he trails his bottom lip along the tendon that pops from her neck as she pushes her head back. He nips against her jawline, then buries his nose into her ear, overwhelming her with the sound of his feverish breathing.

He's gone from her suddenly and her eyes open in surprise, in longing and in need, and he feels himself pulsing in his pants, straining against the confines of his trousers. He shifts, one leg out against the floor to balance, the other bent and wedged against the cushions of the couch for balance as he unbuckles and slides the belt from his pants. He watches Hermione watching him as he lets the belt snap hungrily out of the last loop before discarding it to the floor. Pants unbutton, and he pushes them down around his knees before impatiently grabbing his wand from his pocket and magicking the buttons of his cloak and shirts off, waving them in a pile over the coffee table. His wand follows suit and skids across the glass.

Top bare, bulge exposed in his underwear, he starts on her, lifting her from the couch enough to reach behind her back to unclasp her bra.

"Fuck." As her shirt settles over her naked breasts he sees the teasing points of her nipples. Before he can stop himself, one is in his mouth, and he's suckling on her while pulling her shirt up beneath his lips. Her eyes stay on him, every moment, never wavering, and he knows she is loving this as much as he is.

"You've been so good."

Bare nipple in his mouth, kneading a breast in his fist,

"We've waited," kisses her and flicks his thumb over her wet nipple, "for such a..." He removes his hands, planting them on either side of her head. He holds himself completely still, lifting his groin from her. She squirms, but he snarls and she stays still, whimpering. "Torturously..." Lets his head drop just a bit. "Excruciatingly..."

"Severus..."

"Long time." Just close enough to touch her, but he doesn't.

"Severus!"

"Are you ready now?"

"Severus! Please!"

"Please, what?"

"I want this, I want it now!"

"You've never done this."

"Take me Severus, you..."

"Mhhm?"

"Bloody tease!"

She attacks him them, wild and crazed with need, and he is finally satisfied. He's given her a taste, and she liked it, and now he'll give her the rest.

Severus rocks backwards, letting her fall on top of him and take control. It'll be her only chance for the rest of the night.

"God-damn you and your self control." She seethes, and Severus swallows his response as she kisses him.

He is pleasantly surprised as her hands repeat everything he's done so far for her. Finger over the lines of muscles on his arms, thumbs circling over ribs, far gentler there; his bones are far too prominent. One hand plants on his sternum as the other reaches down and cups his hard-on through his underwear, and he grunts and rocks against the contact. He startles her slightly, and he plants an elbow underneath him to rise up and meet her.

"You're magical." The words taste so sweet to say and he doesn't even question why.

She smiles down at him, brown eyes twinkling. He falls back against the couch and clenches his jaw as she moves experimentally against him. Ordinarily he'd have no patience for virgins, but this is no ordinary virgin.

She does something different suddenly that sends shiver down his spine, and it takes every ounce of self control he has to keep himself together.

"Her-" Pant "mione."

"Oh, like that?" She smirks and leans down to kiss him, just a peck. "I see."

"You always were a quick study." He recovers from the breathlessness swiftly, if only because he still has a lot left he wants to do before his cums in his pants like a school boy.

He flips her over, robbing her off her chance to do anything else that will set him near to over the edge, and settles on top of her on all fours.

"I'm hungry."

Her mouth drops slack at his words and she flushes slightly, but her legs stay open and he slips off her pants and the panties beneath.

His hands start at her ankles and slide up to her knees. He leans forward and nuzzles her cheek, distracting her as he makes gradual progress upwards. It won't do to get her feeling self-conscious as she watches him.

He scoops under her bare ass, then brings his hands back up over to her stomach. One moves up to her forehead, fingers in her hairline and thumb over her eyebrow, the other disappearing between her legs.

She rocks against him, back arching, and he grips her head tight and collects her moans into his mouth. His thumb rubs a single circle over her nub, then a long finger dips down and slides back up, just once. Then he rubs again, then two fingers dip down and up, then three go down and stay there. Rubbing circles, playing with her labia, tracing along the edge of thighs, teasing, allowing her to adjust. She is so wet, the wettest he's ever felt, and he has the idea of her taste on his tongue but he knows he can't fathom how good she'll be.

Two fingers disappear as he cups her juices and slides them in to the first knuckle, bending and straightening them along the edge of her virgin skin.

He can't get enough of the sounds she's making against his lips. He stops kissing her and lets his lips brush against hers. The tickling sensation is enough to drive them both mad, and it's only a few seconds before he gives in and is practically swallowing her tongue.

"Say it."

"More, Severus."

"Yes."

He's in to the second knuckle, feeling and exploring and fighting the urge to fuck her right then and there. But he wants all of her, he wants to do everything to her, he wants to please her.

"Do you like it?"

"Unnhhh!"

"Say it."

"Yes!"

His thumb is cramping. He releases her head and slides his fingers out of her, not bothering to wipe her juices before grabbing her hips with them. He breaks away from her and presses kisses down her chest, stopping to suck each breast before kissing the rest of the way down. His tongue swirls around her belly button, and then he's there.

His tongue laps at her clitoris and then he sucks it into his mouth, gently at first, then with all his strength, hollowing his cheeks. He releases it and flicks it with his lip, back and forth, faster as she groans and bucks against his face. He holds her down by moving an arm across her abdomen, the other arm reaching up with an open hand to grasp her breast, flicking her pointed nipple.

Hungry for more, he delves down further, sticking his tongue as far into her as it will go. The arm across her abdomen moves down, and he angles himself to allow one finger to stimulate her clit.

"God, you taste delicious." He says it more to himself than to her, and she is being far too loud vocalizing her pleasure when he gets things just right to hear him anyway.

"You're... definitely... a master..." She manages to say in broken fragments between gasps and breathless moments.

He won't hear the word the same ever again.

He is overwhelmed, it is too much, eating her like this, but at the same time it isn't enough. He releases her breast and maneuvers himself out of his underwear, pushing them down to wear his jeans still rest around his lower thigh.

He scoots forward, their flesh touching for the first time, and Severus groans.

"God, Hermione."

"Mm..." Their eyes meet, and every time it's static in the air and Severus feels his hair rise on end.

"Please." She begs, just a whisper, and he grabs himself and presses his head against her, rubbing it up and down, dipping it in her juices. Pre-cum drips and he smears it, mixing their sweet fluids together.

He slips into her slowly, allowing her to adjust. He watches her carefully, gauging for any signs of pain. She is so wet that he slips in easily, although she is tight around his girth. He holds himself steady, easing forward.

Time is irrelevant as his lungs strain from the sensation, and finally, lightheaded, he is in her and she's nodding vigorously.

"Yeah, yeah, that's alright, Severus." Her hands are gripping his upper arms, fingernails breaking the skin.

He begins moving, holding himself back until he can't any longer. He knows she's ready because she's rocking against him, slapping her hands onto his back and digging her nails back and forth as he thrusts.

He builds momentum, friction developing as their pubic hair slides together, and soon he's bent over her, sweat dripping off his face onto hers, and his hands are everywhere, in her hair, under her shoulder blades, running up and down her thighs.

"I can't save you!" He's thrusting hard, balls slapping and pubic bones slamming together as he's crying "I can't save you!" He's pissed, completely furious, and scared as shit.

"I can..." grunt, "save myself."

"I can't save you, Hermione! Look at me! Listen to me! I can't save you!" They're having sex and he's got tears in his eyes and his balls are straining and she's so beautiful, and he can't save her.

"Severus!" He stops, weary, desperate for release. "It's ok. You don't need to. I can save myself." He doesn't want to hope. He doesn't want to believe her. "I can save myself."

He thrusts forward as hard as he can, and they're a human thunderstorm as every inch of their bodies slam together. She pulses against him, screaming out her orgasm, and he spills his cum into her as she milks him, shooting in warm spurts. When he's finally done, he sags, boneless against her chest. He can feel her heartbeat against his, her pulse beneath his fingers. They stick together, sweaty chests and legs coated with sex, his pants still around his thighs. He kicks off his pants, finally, and lifts her slowly. She stares at him with hooded, drowsy eyes, and he stares back as he carries her to bed, committing every inch of her well-fucked face to 're asleep in each other's arms in a matter of minutes, both completely exhausted from fucking out their fear and fury.

A/N - I'm back! And so incredibly happy to be; I've missed writing and reading your comments so much. It's been a busy month for me, which is why I haven't updated. I graduated high school (yay!) and got myself an awesome job working at a local horse barn so I've been doing that, plus I rescued a horse who was severely underweight so I've been spending a lot of time with him and getting him back to health. He's come such a long way in a short time. Speaking of which, if any of you want, send me some names! He's a 16.2 hand (he's tallish) 15 yr old flea bitten grey (white with freckles) OTTB (ex-racehorse) gelding. His registered name is Sundance Fever (however I can call him something different if I want at local shows) I was going to name him Salazar (as a barn name), but I speak really fast and so everyone thinks I'm saying "salad bar" which just doesn't work, so I need a new name. Personally wise, he's a big baby and loves affection but is very, very athletic & forward when he's worked. He dragged me halfway across the field the other day! He's got a lot more energy now that he's gaining weight, which is awesome. Anyways, I'm super off topic here. So, I also didn't have any way to write this past month, but I just got a laptop so you can go back to expecting at least one chapter a week again :D I hope you enjoy this one!

P.S. I'm in the same boat as Hermione, a big fat 0 in sexual experience. I have never even kissed a guy, so if there's anything that sticks out to you as totally ridiculous or just plain wrong, please leave me some feedback so I'll know for the future. Thanks! :)

P.P.S. If you're wondering about the author's note at the top, I made the mistake of presenting my fan-fiction as my senior project and a bunch of teachers decided they were going to find my fanfics and read them so...yeah.