I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit on the heavy, that wasn't my attention at all. I had over half of this wrote before I realized that parts weren't going to work with what I had previously written so I had to do some editing, I'm sorry if things don't make a lot of sense, I tried to clear it up and explain it as the best I could. If you still have questions about it or anything, please don't hesitate to ask and I'll happily answer any and all questions. Enjoy!
It was a few months later and therapy for Zoe was going really good, not only was she doing sessions with just her but they had decided that together it would be beneficial for them if Wade joined in. Together they learnt just how badly the other one was hurting. As hard as it was to deal with not only the emotional but the physical aspect as well they were learning to cope and handle everything the best they could as long as they kept letting the other person in and not closing up.
"You have to know that I would never push you into anything to make you feel uncomfortable," Wade told her with a pause, taking her hand in his. "Being with you is all I need, as corny as it sounds I'm more than okay with cuddling. You are my wife; you're my heart and soul, Zo. This doesn't change that. I'm ready when you're ready, okay?" He questioned, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. He wanted her to feel loved because she was. She was important to him and nothing was ever going to change that, he couldn't even think of the possibility of leaving her, there was so much more to her that he loved and sex wasn't a factor in any of the reasons on why he was completely head over ass in love with her.
"I hear you and somewhere inside of me, I know that, but I think about it and I have a hard time trying to make myself believe it. I want too so bad, but I'm scared and afraid of so many things," she told him, glancing down utterly ashamed with the way she felt. She knew that he wasn't going to hurt her and he would do whatever it took to make her feel safe, loved and comfortable. But it wasn't the sex she was afraid of considering she had already had sex with her husband, but it was after that she felt sick, like she was going to be suffering the same fate if she did fall pregnant again, the idea of being pregnant was a dangerous place for her to think about let alone it ever happening and that was something she knew in her heart she wasn't ready for, didn't know if she'd ever be ready for that. "It's not about being intimate again Wade, it's the fact that it could lead to something that I had wanted and I'm not at the point to where I want to be pregnant again, if ever," she told him, her voice dropping to a whisper as she spoke to him.
"You, Braxton and Ariel are the only three people I need in my life," he told her sincerely, his undying love a heavy undertone in his words, it was hard not to believe him. "Being scared and afraid is okay, because truthfully so I am, Zoe, so much," he confessed. When he first started out he was terrified of being a father but it was easy the more time he spent with his son and learnt. He was scared out of his mind when he had gone from being married to being a widow and a single father. But it got easier and this too was going to get easier, that much he knew. Going through one miscarriage was hard, but going through two with two very different women was hard and it scared him. He didn't want to go through it again and he knew in his whole heart that Zoe wouldn't leave him, but just the simple idea of it happening made him scared, afraid that he was going to lose the family he loved dearly and that would be harder than losing one little baby. "Not until you're ready and 200 percent certain it's something that not only you want but can handle," he assured her.
"Wade," she told him softly, reaching up with her free hand cupping his cheek. Wade nuzzled her hand, his eyes closing as the love he felt from that one touch warmed him inside out. "Thank you," she told him simply. "But you need to know that I'm not going anywhere, I couldn't cope if I did leave. All the support and love I need is right here with you," she confirmed letting the small voice in his head vanish a little more. "You Wade Kinsella are my rock in life in more than one way," she smiled, letting her lips inch closer to press against his in a sweet and love filled kiss. No one in her life had ever been there as much as Wade had the day he entered her life.
Wade pulled her closer, his tongue running along her bottom lip as he thought that sometimes you don't need someone else in the room to address the fears you had, to force you to talk about something that you didn't think you could, sometimes you needed to express yourself when it was just you and your spouse and that was something they were learning was okay to do. Expressing their feelings had been one of the things they did with a fight every now and again and when they had to, but they were learning that it was okay to do so before the thoughts and fears in their heads boiled over creating even more damage than they would have to start with. Leaning on each other had been something they did, but they had learnt that it was something they weren't doing fully and they were trying to fix that in every way possible.
"We're happy that you guys are being all in love again," Ariel stated walking into the room with Braxton. "But must you do it where we all have to witness it?" She asked. Seeing her parents happy, made her happy, she just didn't want to keep walking in on them when all she wanted to do was sit in the living room and watch a show while she worked on her school project.
"We don't have too," Wade commented with a smile. "But we can do as we please, we are the parents," he laughed.
"Could you maybe for our benefit?" Braxton asked, tossing his bag on the floor by his feet when he plopped down in the open chair.
"I'm not sure we can promise that," Zoe replied, resting her head against her husband's chest. "But we can try," she told them. She could feel Wade nodded his head in agreement before his lips were pressed against the top of her head.
They sat in silence watching as their kids started to do some of the homework they had. Seeing that they were both paying more attention in space than on the work that was in front of them, Wade spoke up. "Can you guys take a break from your work or maybe come to earth after zoning out?" He asked with a soft chuckle. Both kids turned to look at their parents. "We need to talk and it's important," he informed them seriously.
"About?" Ariel asked worry in her eyes.
"Everything is okay right?" Braxton asked, his eyes dancing from one adult to the other in a frenzy.
"Yes everything is okay," Zoe told them, getting both kids to relax. "We just think with how hard and heavy this has been on all of us that you guys should talk to someone, help you deal with the emotions surging through you," she explained softly.
"You don't have to do it alone, we could do it as a family therapy session," Wade added on to what his wife had told them. "We can see that this whole ordeal has had its toll on both of you and you have to know that you're not doing this alone, that you have us and together we have each other as a family," he explained.
"Okay," Braxton agreed. Going through this before he couldn't remember much other than he had lost his mom and what now he understands was a brother or a sister. He may have been too young to remember before but he knew that it tore his family apart and he didn't want that to happen again. He finally had a family and he wanted to keep it that way. He'd gladly go talk to someone that wasn't going to judge him on what he was feeling, if that meant he was going to be keeping his family.
"It did help me when I needed to get over everything when it came to my bio dad," Ariel said, chewing her lip. She knew that she hurt, that her mom hurt and everyone that was close to her hurt because of this. She couldn't wrap her little mind around why it happened to them, she just knew that it hurt. And if there was anyone out there that could take that pain away and answer those questions on why it happened and she was able to keep the family she couldn't stand to lose, so had to agree to that, it would be silly if she didn't. "I think it would do us some good," she told her parents, going back to the project sitting in front of her.