Chapter 43: Uncertainty
Peeta is wakened by Katniss thrashing in the bed.
"No, NO!" she cries out.
Peeta touches her arm. She pulls it away.
"Don't touch me!" Katniss growls.
"Katniss…" Peeta says.
"Please, don't hurt my baby" pleading now.
"Katniss" Peeta tries again. He knows she is having a nightmare and he needs to bring her out of it before she wakes Prim. Katniss nightmares have begun to return with the confirmation of her pregnancy and the stress around it. They don't know the condition of the baby and they still don't know where Snow is hiding out.
"Katniss. It's OK. It's just a nightmare" Peeta tells her as he reaches over to her again.
She begins to rouse from her sleep.
"Peeta?"
"Yes, Katniss. I'm here. You were having a nightmare". He can feel her trembling in the bed beside him.
"Oh, Peeta. He was here. He was here!" Peeta knows she means Snow.
"It's OK, Katniss" Peeta reassures her again. "He's not here, he's nowhere to be found. You are safe. I promise". Peeta takes her in his arms and holds her tenderly. Katniss needs to feel his arms around her.
"I can't stand not knowing" she says. "Not knowing about the baby, not knowing about Snow".
Peeta can't stand it either. Katniss pregnancy seems to be going normally without any hint of problems, but there is still nearly five months to go and anything could happen. These nightmares will not help her state of mind or her physical health either.
"I know" Peeta says. "But we have to be positive about the outcome. So far, the baby is doing well. According to the doctor he is growing normally and there are no signs of any complications".
Katniss knows this is true. Her nausea has subsided and her belly is getting bigger. She still has not felt any movement yet, but she should soon. That is, if everything is OK.
Peeta continues: "And Gale is headed to the Capitol to try and find out about Snow and his whereabouts. We have to trust that Gale knows what he is doing".
"I know" says Katniss. She finds Peeta's words reassuring, but she doesn't want to think about Gale going back to the Capitol right now. Maybe that was the trigger for her nightmare. It just brought all her fears back to the surface.
"Katniss?" asks Peeta.
"Yes" she replies.
Peeta needs reassurance now, too.
"You love me. Real or not real?" he whispers.
"Real" she replies, taking his hand and placing it on her belly. If Peeta ever needed reassurance of her love it was right here. Katniss had proved her love by giving her whole self to him. Out of that new beginnings had flowed.
"I love you, Katniss" he tells her, leaning over and kissing her tenderly on the lips.
"I love you, too, Peeta" she replies. Peeta's overtures do not go unanswered as Katniss responds to his touch once again.
In the morning, the visitors begin to arrive. Katniss and Peeta have family and friends coming from out of town to celebrate Prim's birthday. Her mother arrives first and is excited to see them all again. She is loaded up with gifts and goodies for the celebration, but Prim will have to wait to see her surprise. Next Annie arrives with Finn. Katniss is so happy to see her and hugs her and Finn tightly, a hug which Finn tries to squirm out of as soon as possible. Katniss steps back to look at them both and is startled to see how much more Finn is beginning to look like Finnick. He has those lovely dimples in his cheeks and his eyes dance with curiosity at everything new around him. Katniss brings Annie into the house to see her mother and Prim.
Effie is arriving this afternoon and Beetee and Johanna will be on the last train. Katniss and Peeta have not invited anyone else apart from Gale, Haymitch and some friends in District 12. They only want their closest friends, and allies, at the celebrations. Their trust has waned significantly since Katniss' capture and neither of them want to take any chances. It is enough that they have the people who mean the most to them here for the celebrations tomorrow. It could also be the last time they are all together for a while.