I do not own anything. I'm just translating. The characters belong to the great J.K. Rowling. The story belongs to the amazing Brigi. Her e-mail: tbwtpbe [et]

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THE BOY WITH THE PIERCING BLUE EYES

Chapter 36 - The decision (part 1)

There was something strange about that holiday and Harry couldn't quite put his finger on it. It was weird in many levels. Sometimes he noticed his friends and Remus looking at him with pity though he didn't know the reason for that. He couldn't ask because he had a feeling that it would be an awkward and embarrassing situation. So he did everything he could to forget the suffocating feeling, even though it was really difficult for him, who was by nature very curious.

It wasn't rare to have so little students left in the common room during the holidays, however, the new people appearing in the common room was not ordinary. Lamerin, noticing that he was intruding in his father's chambers, decided to run off and spend time with them. Harry and his girlfriend, whose presence was also new in the Gryffindor common room, spent Christmas Eve with his friends too. The couple promised not to do anything that would make anyone feel uncomfortable, so Ron and Hermione could sleep in the same room with ease. While the girl chose to sleep in Dean's bed, the young Snape picked Seamus'. They had fun until early morning, eating a lot of sweets. Even though Hermione protested, they drank a lot of butterbeer too. Marie also liked the drink even though she'd never tasted anything like it before. After three or four bottles of the sweet drink they had difficulty standing and spent the evening laughing drunkenly.

Even though they only went to bed around four in the morning, Harry couldn't sleep. Keeping the girl close, he kept thinking in the darkness. He started feeling an unexplainable respect towards Marie. Their relationship no longer seemed like a meaningless young love that has no future. It felt more than just having a girlfriend. And it was more heartfelt than just wanting to satisfy their needs. Suddenly, hugging and kissing her felt different. It all felt very different from how they were during summer; that time felt so long ago. Everything has changed; the location was his school and his girlfriend turned out to be the child of magical parents… Only one thing remained the same; that they loved each other. Their relationship gave him strength; now, it wasn't so difficult to know which world he belonged to, where he would feel better. He felt more at home in the magical world now.

In the morning, when the others started to wake up too, his fingers slid a little lower on the girl's waist. Marie must have been awake too, because she moved.

"Harry?" she muttered sleepily. "Harry! You know we promised…!"

The boy kissed her shoulder.

"I didn't mean anything," he said quietly while the girl turned around. "Just… Merry Christmas!" he smiled.

"Merry Christmas!" she replied and kissed him lightly.

As they peeked out of the curtains, they saw Lamerin getting dressed.

"Are you going somewhere?" the girl asked.

"Oh… did I wake you?"

"No, we were already awake…" Harry sat up. "You're leaving? Why?"

"Dad would be happy to spend the morning together… and open the presents. After all, this is our first Christmas together…"

"Of course." Marie sat up and took her nightgown.

She walked up to him and hugged the boy.

"Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas!" Harry patted his back.

"Merry Christmas!" their friend replied, feeling touched. "See you later!"

"Sure!"

He left the room so quietly the two prefects didn't even hear him.

"And now? What are we going to do until they wake up?"

"Ah, don't worry. Ron always wakes up early this day. He always runs down to see the presents."

"I want to see them too," the girl added with an alluring smile. "What will I get?"

"Me," Harry hugged her with a smile.

"And if that's not enough for me?"

"That's not possible…"

At their chuckling, Ron started moving around and rubbed his eyes because the light coming in through the window hurt his eyes.

"Good morning," the couple greeted.

"Hm? Oh, hi…" he sat up. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Ron!"

His friend looked more alert suddenly.

"Are you ready?" he jumped out of bed.

Harry let go of the girl and took up his starting position.

"Of course! On three! One… two…"

However, Ron started running at two. He practically jumped down the stairs. Harry wasn't far behind as he ran after Ron and didn't stop until he reached the common room.

"Boys!" Marie sighed.

Hermione's cat mewed loudly.

"Come here!" the French girl knelt down.

The cat's purring eventually woke the other prefect.

"Bonjour!"

"Hi… Where are the boys?"

"They went down to open the presents… Come on, let's join them!"

The celebration was special in many ways. Some things remained the same however. Mrs. Weasley sent another warm sweater to the boys with the usual cookie basket. Hermione bought useful things again, so they all got some beautiful quills, parchments and a couple of expensive, blue inks. From the Weasley twins they got a lot of funny things which made them laugh all morning in the Gryffindor common room. They all happily opened their presents when Harry sat down near the fireplace. In his hands, he had presents from Marie and Remus, half opened, but he put them down for a moment to think about his celebrating friends.

Ron, who had a snake-like jelly in his mouth, poked Lamerin, who came back to them later in the morning, with a fake wand. They were both laughing loudly while the girls sat with a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. Sometimes, they made grimaces at the bizarre tasting flavours. Hermione managed to get one that tasted like vomit and had to clean the taste out with some pumpkin juice.

The world quieted down around Harry as he watched them. He couldn't say why this Christmas felt better than the previous ones. Not because of the presents – he always got enough of those. But the fact that he could share his happiness with those he loved more than anyone. He often wished for this at the end of July, on his birthday. His friends had never forgotten about him and sent him a lot of great things, but he couldn't celebrate with them. He could finally spend his sixteenth birthday with someone… though Professor Snape wasn't really a party person; his mere presence changed the feeling of opening presents. Harry didn't ask for more this Christmas than to have a similar birthday next year. In his heart, he knew that's how it always should be…

The small moon lit up the darkness of night. Even though it was just a thin line, it made the stars pale next to it. The yellow light looked cold; just thinking about going outside made people shiver. Only the moon looked happy and it looked like a slice of melon. Just like what Lamerin wanted at the moment.

He was bored with winter already; he missed the freedom he got last summer when he finally ran away from the Death Eaters. But the change of season gave him this claustrophobic feeling. The castle was warmer, but the limits made him feel depressed.

Now, he was waiting by the window in the teacher's room for the sun to finally make a miracle and turn the cold winter into spring.

Two hands appeared on his shoulders and the boy turned around. He closed his eyes in the homely moment, when his father hugged him.

"Hi," the whispered to each other.

Severus stepped next to him and watched his son and the winter scenery.

"The cat is laughing at us up there…"

"The cat?"

"Don't you know the tale?"

"I know a few Muggle tales…" the man answered with a smile. "What are you doing here all alone?"

"I just… didn't want to intrude."

His father immediately knew what was bothering the boy.

"It's New Years Eve. I'm not going to spend every minute of it with Rowena."

"I don't mind," Lamerin apologized. "What's important is for you to be happy."

"No, what's important is for you to be happy," the Potions Master corrected. "Once you'll have a child, you'll understand what I'm saying. There are things you have to give up in life, but I'm not going to let you be the one who has to be without me."

"I'm not a child anymore to require constant supervision…"

"But I wish you were! I missed out on so much in your childhood. I don't want to loose you ever again. I don't want us to be distant…" He squeezed the boy's right hand. "Nothing and no one can come between us."

"Not even… when you'll have a baby?"

"Us?" Severus blinked in surprise. "A child? We're not even married!"

"Then please tell me! How do you imagine your relationship to be in the future? I imagine she wants more than the occasional meetings…"

"We didn't talk about marriage. You'd be the first to know! I wouldn't decide something this important without talking to you!"

"She's a woman," Lamerin continued, not paying attention to his father's embarrassed protests. "Every woman wants to marry some day. And she probably wants kids too… Don't deny it; you know what I'm talking about."

"You… never said that you had anything against Rowena and me…"

"I don't have," the boy tightened the blanket on his shoulders and answered after a short pause. He didn't seem convincing. "I'm just scared that once you have a new child, I won't be as important to you as I am now, because…"

"How can you say that?!"

"… because you can enjoy everything you missed out on with me. You could see their first steps, hear their first word, teach them how to read, write… do spells… There would be a mother there to share your joy with and I would slowly become a stranger."

"You can't seriously think that!" Severus sounded offended.

"How can you think I'm not serious?" Lamerin said loudly. "Every firstborn feels this way."

"I thought you were more mature than to think about silly things like this!"

"You said it would be better if I could be your little boy forever, never growing up. You should decide already…" he finished with a sigh and took off the blanket.

He folded it and put it in one of the chairs.

"I'm going to sleep. Good night." He said and left for his room, leaving the shocked professor behind.

Hermione ducked out of the way of a snowball.

Ron!" she yelled. "I told you I'm not playing!"

"Come on! Hermione, it's the middle of winter break!"

"You should come and help Hagrid instead!"

"Those chinchillas are cute but there are too many of them for me! Anyway, that kind of work is for girls!"

"Very nice of you!"

"Don't mind it, Hermione. Boys will be boys," Hagrid patted her shoulder. The force of it was enough to make the girl slip on the snow and have all the straw fall to the ground. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"I-it's okay…"

They walked to the cages where all the little fur balls were kept.

"By the way, how come you're doing this now?"

"Professor McGonagall and Flitwick asked me… During Charms and Transfiguration classes you used to use animals to practice on too. Kids these days are not as good as you were; they tend to cause permanent damage to their own pets. The teachers asked me to start breeding small rodents that can be used in their place."

"I understand that much. But it's not like you to deal with creatures this docile and safe," the girl said with a smile. "These are not even magical animals."

She knelt down to one of the boxes that held the shivering little rodents. She patted a few of them, even though it looked like she touched a box full of fur.

"No way! I don't need then to have magical capabilities! There's so many of them…! And there's more and more of them every week…"

Marie sat next to them, holding a gray one. She was trying to feed it, but it was shivering so much it didn't feel like eating. It buried itself in the girl's scarf to get away from the cold.

"Cute…" she smiled. "We are not allowed to keep pets… We only have the caretaker's two stupid dogs… But I don't think those are proper watchdogs. Shoo, Crookshanks, you can't do that!" she shooed Hermione's cat away when it started to stalk the shivering animal.

"He's just curious," the prefect picked up the cat. "Go paly with Professor McGonagall!" she pushed him towards the gray cat walking carefully in the snow near the entrance.

Whenever a snowflake fell on her fur she shivered. Marie watched it in wonder then turned to Hermione.

"I don't understand."

"Professor McGonagall is an Animagus. That means she can turn into an animal."

"She's that cat?" the French girl looked at her in surprise. "But… how is that possible?" she muttered.

Hermione stepped next to her and turned the girl's attention towards Harry.

"Harry's father was an Animagus too…"

"Him too?"

"He could turn into a stag. And his godfather could turn into a dog."

"Can this be inherited?" Marie asked but they both laughed at the thought.

"No, it's done with magic."

They watched the three boys, with Lamerin joined in, as they played in the snow.

All three of them were wet because of all the snowballs hitting them, but they seemed to enjoy the game very much. Harry kept throwing different sized snowballs at his friends until a big one hit him on his bottom.

"Ouch, who was…?"

Since his friends were all in front of him, he found it strange that the attack came from behind. He brushed off the snow and turned around.

"Sorry, it was an accident!" Jules la Berre tried to apologize but his attempt seemed more funny than sincere.

Harry knew it was intentional so when the man turned around to walk away, he bent down and made a big snowball.

"Here… you buffoon!" he threw it at Jules.

The snowball hit the target; it hit the French man's neck and fell into pieces so the cold snow got into the man's clothes. He turned around angrily and saw the three boys laughing at him.

"Brats!" he snapped but his brother held him back.

"Jules! We don't want any trouble!"

Then another snowball flew by between them. The younger man turned to the students stunned, then nodded and they started throwing snowballs at the children.

Suddenly, Ron threw himself on the ground and started to make a rampant out of the snow.

"Ron, what are you doing?" Hermione shouted. "You're clothes will get all wet!"

However, the boys didn't care about such things or about the onlookers' laughter. While Lamerin made the snowballs, Harry threw them at the enemy. When a small amount of snowballs gathered he put them in his pockets.

"Cover for me!" he winked at his friends. "I'll get that French buffoon!"

The other two nodded and started firing. They always hit the target.

Meanwhile, Harry sneaked around in the bushes and he was only a few meters away from Jules when the man knelt down to gather snow and noticed him.

"Surprise attack!" he shouted and threw the snow in Harry's face.

Harry shook his head and took out the snowballs from his pockets. Jules, to avoid getting more bruises from the hard balls, ran at him and they fell to the ground. They were fighting on the ground and the man stuffed snow into Harry's trousers and under his coat while the boy begged him to stop. All the while, the two didn't stop laughing. Jules sat on his heals with a triumphant smile.

"I won, kid."

Harry shook the snow out of his ears.

"You won, sir!"

"Don't be so polite! We're not that old!"

"You are," Gilles knelt down, totally spent. "Are you okay? Did you hit yourself anywhere?"

"No. I'm not made of glass," the boy replied. "Even if I'm called Harry Potter."

"I see you don't really like being treated as the golden boy…"

"Not really."

"Be strong; I don't think you're all that special," Jules added.

"How nice," Harry grimaced.

"Peace?" the younger la Berre extended his hand.

"Peace."

"There must be something about you that the little miss likes," Jules shrugged as they shook hands.

"She's the first person to like me without conditions… without knowing who I am. You can't imagine how important that was for me…"

The brothers looked at each other then helped the boy up.

"You'll protect her, right…? You'll protect her while I'm not with her?"

"Of course we will, stupid kid…" Jules ruffled his hair up.

"The next game should be something a bit more relaxing, okay?" Gilles added tiredly. "Can't we build a snowman or something?"

In the last day of the winter holidays Harry felt just as depressed as he was at the end of summer. With each day, they got closer to the time he had to say goodbye to the girl, even if it was for a short time. Harry was sure that he would not enjoy next summer without her… Something pulled him to the girl, a strange kind of admiration that he could not explain.

They spent every possible moment together. Their nights were spent in passion and their days in happiness until Friday arrived when the girl had to go back home.

Harry couldn't sleep; he was staring at the red armchair in Marie's room. He's been doing that for hours. First, he remembered how surprisingly good it was to make love in it; then he realized he won't have a chance to do it again for a long time. It wasn't the physical contact he would miss, not even the understanding and accepting of the girl, because his friend gave those to him. He was simply worried. In Hogwarts, he felt isolated, unable to do anything against what was happening in the outside world. The castle protected them from everything, but also closed the world out, so they had no way to help anyone.

If something were to happen to the girl, he wouldn't learn about it for days and he would probably be too late to do anything by then. He saw horrible pictures of the girl's life being in danger; he remembered the nightmare in which Professor Dareling killed her. He didn't know if he should worry about the woman or if it was just his mind playing a trick on him.

He sighed when the girl's hand moved and she touched his chest.

"Are you awake?" she asked while kissing his shoulder.

"I am… I couldn't sleep…"

"I hope it's not because I was snoring," Marie muttered and put her head on the boy's chest as he laid on his back.

Harry couldn't stop a smile forming on his face.

"You don't snore…"

"Would you love me if I did?"

"I don't know! It would be weird," the boy grinned and felt all his worries slip away. Marie reached his goal; she managed to make him forget about their fast approaching separation. They could spend the morning happily at least.

"Will you help me pack? You threw my clothes all around the place last night," she said playfully, making their situation a bit brighter. "It will be a miracle if we can find everything. I would feel really embarrassed if your teachers had to send a sock or my panties after me."

Harry blushed and shivered just thinking about it.

"Of course I'll help," he said while laughing.

They got up and put on their nightgowns. Harry took out the girl's suitcase while Marie made the bed and opened the curtains to let the light in. For a moment she stopped.

"What a beautiful weather…" she said sadly.

She turned to the boy who was trying to gather their clothes from the previous day. He didn't look like a wizard and she didn't feel like the child of magical parents. Everything felt so natural. They looked like a couple packing for a new journey…

She smiled and decided not to tell this to Harry. Boys always got scared when their significant other planned things ahead. She stepped to the wardrobe to get her clothes…

There weren't as many people on the station in Hogsmeade as when the students arrive or leave, however, a lot of villagers stood there waiting for the train to start. Some people cried while saying goodbye to their loved ones, while others tried to make it quick.

Harry walked quietly with his girlfriend. She and the two Frenchmen's luggage were sent to the train already, so they didn't have to carry anything. Ron, Hermione, Lamerin and his father escorted them and even if they talked to each other quietly, they didn't disturb the couple in front. The two Snapes were still not talking. The Professor only came because the children could not leave the school grounds alone and because he knew the girl and wanted to say goodbye properly.

As they turned the corner and reached the place where Harry and Remus slid down previously, they saw Lupin and the Headmaster waiting at the platform. As they noticed them, Harry swallowed visibly. He didn't think Dumbledore would personally say goodbye to the girl. Because… she wasn't a really special guest…

"Professor Dumbledore," Marie addressed the old wizard after nodding. "I wanted to thank you for letting me spend the holidays here."

"I hope every moment was spent happily, Miss. Salboux. I'm glad our castle could become a home for our foreign guests," he looked at the brothers too. "I wish for your journey to be just as pleasant."

"Thank you, sir," the two la Berres nodded. They shook hands with the children, Remus and Severus then stepped to the stairs, waiting for the girl to get on.

Harry and Marie stepped away from the crowd, holding hands.

"Write… okay?" the boy started. "I'll send Hedwig…"

"I will," the girl replied with a smile. "Take care, okay?"

"I will, if you do the same. I'm so scared that something will happen to you on the way home," he kissed her.

Marie closed her eyes as she hugged him back.

"The worst thing that could happen is us getting lost at Heathrow and getting on the wrong plane."

The girl opened her eyes as she slowly let go of him. She looked over Harry's shoulder and saw a stag and a big dog.

"A… stag… and… a dog…" she whispered.

"Where?"

However, the animal shook its head and bowed its big antlered head.

She and Harry both looked in their direction, but only the girl could see them. Even Remus noticed how intensely they were looking at something. When he saw his two friends in their animal shape, he rolled his eyes.

"For Merlin's beard…"

"It's not important," the girl said when she realized they shouldn't spend their last moments with this. "I have to go," she whispered when the train's horn could be heard. "I love you," she kissed Harry who felt paralyzed by the thought of separation. He kissed back, but it felt like the girl was getting farther away already. "Don't forget me!" the girl asked before boarding the train.

"Never!"

To the la Berres urging, all three of them got on the train, but the girl stayed at the open door. Harry's heartbeat became painful as the train slowly started.

"Remember me, no matter what happens," the girl asked one more time.

"I will…" Harry muttered, since they could barely hear each other anyway. The train slowly left the station, and Marie stood there, her coat and long hair swinging in the wind.

Harry wanted to run after her, but suddenly, his scar started to hurt. For a moment, it felt hot. He rubbed it, and Dumbledore didn't fail to see that movement. His black hair was in his eyes thanks to the wind, so he tried to get rid of them so he could see the girl one last time.

When the train disappeared from sight and the only thing they could see was its smoke, he turned towards where the girl saw the stag. He felt something bad was coming and he was unable to do anything about it…

Severus knocked three times on his son's door and adjusted his shirt and robes while he waited.

He could hear the creaking of the bed form inside, then quite steppes approached the door. When it finally opened a crack, his son was holding onto the door with an expression that showed he was still pouting.

"Hi," his father greeted after looking him up and down.

The boy was wearing Muggle clothes; a pair of jeans and a shirt covered his body. He wasn't wearing socks and it was obvious that his feet were freezing on the stone floor as he stood on his heels.

"Hi."

"Don't you want to come to Hogsmeade? This is the last weekend before school starts again…"

"No thanks, I have a guest."

"Oh." The answer came as a surprise to the professor and he tried to stand on tiptoes to look inside the room. On his face, curiosity mixed with mischief.

"Before you start guessing, it's Harry," Lamerin opened the door wider. "He's resting."

The Potions Master watched the black-haired Gryffindor boy with a puzzled expression. He was in his son's bed, covered with a tick blanket. His gaze turned to his son with a questioning look.

"What's he doing in your room?"

"He's in a bad mood. He feels alone now that Marie had left. He doesn't want to see couples right now…"

"I see… So you're not coming?"

"No. But you should bring some chocolate to him."

Snape's face darkened.

"His friends can do that."

"Okay, then bring some to me and I'll give it to him! How can you be like that with a sad child?!"

His father closed his eyes and counted till five before shaking his head.

"Now what's wrong?"

"How can you ask that? I'm human too and I have feelings too! I'm offended!"

"Because of some stupid little thing! I don't want to argue with you! But you won't let us talk about it when there is something wrong! You're just being stubborn! Is it better like this?"

"I'm not being stubborn! You don't even want to understand me!"

"Maybe because it's not easy!"

"Go to Hogsmeade and drink something delicious at Madame Puddifoot!"

The Potions Master lost his patience and turned around before starting his way out of the chambers while murmuring aloud.

"I should have made a chair instead! That way, I could at least sit down!"

"Right!" his son shouted after him before slamming the door shut.

"Right!"

Inside, Lamerin leaned on the door while Harry sat up and looked at him. He seemed really tired.

"Why did you fight?"

"It's… stupid." His friend made his way towards the bed and lay down next to Harry.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just… recently, I'm always thinking about what it would be like to be part of a big family like Ron's. There are so many of them… seven siblings… aren't they ever jealous of each other?"

"Of course they are. Ron's always jealous," Harry replied with a smile.

"Have you ever wanted a sibling?"

"Growing up with Dudley, one would never want to have any… But when I was little, I probably wanted one… Why are you asking? You're not saying…?"

"Oh, no. Not yet… But I'm afraid I would go nuts if they…"

Harry looked into the boy's beautiful blue eyes.

"From what I saw, I can say that your father loves you very much. Even if they had another child, he would never abandon you. Though, I don't think he would want another one…"

"Why not? He's not old yet…"

"Because he has enough troubles with you, silly," Harry closed his eyes. "It's really difficult to get to know a Snape. Even a lifetime's not enough for that… Don't screw up…"

He sighed and seemed to be asleep already.

Lamerin watched him for a while then closed his eyes with a smile.

They were still sleeping when the professor returned. They didn't wake up to his quiet movements, but later found the best sweets Honeydukes could offer on the bed…