So it goes with saying that only things I own with any connection to MARVEL I bought on Ebay or Etsy. MARVEL COMICS & MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE are their own creatures and I have nothing to do with either of them aside from the fact I enjoy reading or watching them, and am grateful for the ability to play in their world. I claim nothing, and I receive nothing for this, expect the pleasure of putting something out into the world.
You can also find this story on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN under the same title and pen name along with a place to post suggestions.
Don't forget to check out the Photobucket album listed on my profile page too.
DAY TWO
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
WEDNESDAY, MAY 2ND 2012
1552 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
NORA
It's only sound that I experience this time, and emotion. I can hear someone humming, but whether it's coming from me or meant for me to hear I'm not sure. It's just there, and it's very clearly a song of some kind. There's too much of a melody and rhythm to its notes for it not to be.
It's also so full of love. That's the emotion I feel, and it's practically pouring out with that sound. Love, adoration, fulfillment, joy, and warmth. I can identify all of that in those notes, because they're familiar to me. I've felt them before, but this kind of love, it confuses me. It isn't romantic love, or the love of a friend, it's too different, too strong and I...
I can feel something itching. The sensation confuses me for a second, as I am suddenly aware of something rough scraping at my cheek, but then it makes more sense when I feel it followed by the smooth but cool snuffling sensation of a familiar wet nose and whiskers. My ears are also greeted by a happy meow despite my lazy groan.
"Jareth sweetie no more..." Hearing me say his name only makes him even more earnest in his efforts, and while I do appreciate how much he feels he needs to demonstrate his love for me, my cheek feels a little raw, and stings too, like I was crying or something. "Cut it out."
His retreat was also a little confusing, not only that he did so but also because of the protesting meow that came with it, until I heard actual words appear. "No more little one, you should let her rest." Oh god, that voice!
It wasn't that I forgot about his existence, I don't think it would be possible for me to do something that stupid. It's just that he wasn't in here when I fell asleep, so I wasn't expecting him to be in here when I woke up. I sort of figured I would have heard him come in.
I've let myself make that mistake twice now. Then again, I don't actually remember falling asleep, but I do remember taking those pills and that was really, REALLY stupid!
So is my desire to pretend I fell back asleep. I know he knows I'm awake, after all he would have had to be near me to pull Jareth away from me, and my surprised flinch at the sound of his voice wasn't exactly subtle.
Which also means of course, that he is probably still holding my kitten. I doubt he would hurt my kitten just to hurt him, since at the moment I can't think of anything he would stand to gain from it other than cooperation that I'm already going to give him, but the concern is still there.
Pushing myself up from my laying position on my stomach I roll over on to my back instead, and using my hands for leverage I pull my hips farther under me so I'm sitting rather than reclining. I still feel vulnerable, but this way it isn't as bad as before, and at least I might be able to put up a fight if he tries to pin me down.
The movement is more uncomfortable than I would like to admit it should be, specifically at that point of my thigh I've been doing my damnedest not to think about. Just sitting up made me have to bite my cheek raw to avoid crying out.
Oh, god, please don't let it be infected. If it's infected they are going to touch me again, I know it! He'll insist on it, and there won't be anything I can say or do to stop them.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 2ND 2012
1554 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
LOKI
The fact that she is in pain again is obvious, but because she is making quite the effort to hide that I give her the courtesy of overlooking it for the time being. Very soon if the situation evolves the way I expect it to I shall have a new and better opportunity to do something about it.
"C-Can I..." The direction of her eyes tells me what she wants, and before she can finish stammering out her nervous question I agree.
"Of course my dear..." Shifting my hold on the kitten I decide to set it gently at her side and let it climb its own way into her lap, instead of holding it out for her to take.
The less physical contact she has to have with me for now the better for her mental state, given that it is clearly shocked enough already as her mind starts to take in the truth of what her eyes seeing.
The kitten is standing on all fours of its legs, no longer encumbered by that thick and immobilizing layer of gauze.
"W-What..." Her confusion was expected, given this realms poor excuse of medical technology on all fronts, but the sudden shift into suspicious and angry accusation was not. "What did you do to him?! What did you...?"
How interesting that when she feels there is a threat directed at her she shrinks and cowers from it like a struck beast, but when she perceives it directed toward something she cares about that is when she finds her bravery and defiance. How useful I could make that.
But not now, not at this moment. Now I need her to relax and regain her senses. "My dear, calm yourself." Feeling emboldened by her own actions I risked venturing a bit closer but her defensive flinch quickly discouraged me, and pleased me a little more. It was but an instant, but she looked almost willing to fight me to protect that creature in her arms. I can definitely make use of that.
"Look at him Arnora." I plead with her gently even as I retreat back a few steps for her comfort. "Is he not healed to your eyes? Do you find this deception you seek?" Giving her the time and space to examine the feline for whatever it is she suspects me of.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 2ND 2012
1601 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
NORA
I thought it was a trick, I was absolutely sure of it actually. For a second I was so happy because my baby boy was all better, then I remembered who this man was. I remembered Erik talking about the 'mythical' figure that was Loki, the stories that had been inspired by the very real man standing in front of me.
He's a trickster, and a master of spells and illusions and the art of deceitful speech. He's also a shape-shifter they say, but more important to this moment is that there's even stories of him changing the shape of other things!
Those were my theories; he cast some kind of illusion to make it look like Jareth's broken leg was healed, or worse still, was the possibility that this wasn't even my kitten I was holding but something he created to look like him to trick me and I believed if I just checked hard enough I would find something to prove I'm right about it.
Except I'm not finding anything. I'm running my fingers through his tawny fur, splaying his little pink toes, and examining every inch of his frame to the point that he is whining and squirming in discomfort but still I'm not satisfied.
It continues to the point that I'm beginning to question if I should stop on the chance it really is my kitten, because I wouldn't want to hurt him just to prove a point.
I completely stop when I notice his tattoo, the little blue line etched on the skin of his belly peeking out past his tan undercoat. He was given that when I had him neutered. A mark to show other vets that he was already fixed in case he somehow got lost and was taken in by someone else with a soft spot for strays. A safety measure to avoid unnecessary surgeries.
It's a detail that doesn't seem like something this man would know to include in his replication. It's really my kitten in my hands! All healed and better just like he was before he tried to be my little hero against a Goliath.
I can feel the tears threatening to break over the dam of my eyelids, so in an effort to hide them in case I can't stop them I pull my kitten close and bury my face in the barrier his fur; an act of affection that he seems to have no problem with returning the way he purrs and nuzzles me back. "I, h-how? I do-don't understa-and?"
I can hear him move, the subtle sound of his leather clothing shifting with a strange sort of silent intensity but this time the sight of my nervous tension isn't enough to discourage his approach, at least not completely. He instead picks a spot on the end of the bed, as far as he can be away from me while still having enough space to sit on it. "Lest your doctor friend misspoke, you have already been made aware to the 'how', have you not?"
"I..?" I start to tell him no, that I have no idea what he's talking about, except then I realize that I do. Erik comes to my mind again. He told me about something incredible, he called it a stone. He said it healed him, that it dissolved a large piece of glass right out of his chest! he said it saved his life. "A-A stone? The stone?"
A gentle smile is accompanied by an equally soft nod of his head. "A healing stone, made by the skilled hands of the Vanir healers."
As he speaks his hands move, rising slowly and steadily so I can keep it under my weary gaze. His left one comes to rest with its palm up and open flat in display, while his right hovers in a cupped position over it for a moment before a shimmering green light spills out between the cracks on his fingers and he tilts it back at the wrist.
It's a motion that I can't help but compare to him opening a small box, a motion that is far too similar to a man proposing. It creates a very unsettling feeling in my gut, especially given the small shimmering object that it reveals is now resting in his hand. "And a gift for you, if you will have it."
WEDNESDAY, MAY 2ND 2012
1605 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
LOKI
The nervous gesture of refusal came quicker and stronger than I thought it might, even though I made the offer suspecting it might be met with some hesitation on her part given our previous interactions. I did not expect her to recoil from the idea as if I threatened to poison her though.
"My dear, you are in agony and I do not wish to use force against you. Why do you continue to refuse my offers?" Even now, as she does her best to hide it, I can see the tension in her expression from the constant state of pain she is in, and the tiny wince that she fails to contain with each movement. "What is it that you fear so?"
Those lovely eyes of her's widen once again in fright before she drops them from my gaze and shakes her head desperately. "No, no I...I j-just, I do-don't, I don't, I c-can't agree." It is a sight that makes me want to lift her face back to mine, and comfort her with gentle hands.
It is a sight that leaves me conflicted because I do not know how to reassure her in the state she is exists in now without terrifying her.
"Agree, my dear?" That one word catches my attention and explains everything going on in her mind rather clearly for me. "You think this gift comes with the price of hidden conditions?" These words are spoken with a sad sort of admiration. She does not know me at all but she still knows me so well.
"D-Doesn't it?" She lowers her head more to hide herself from my view, almost trembling as she tries to bury her mass within itself. "Y-You- wan-ant some-th-thing from m-me, d-don't y-you?"
"Yes..." I answer that honestly because I know she is not foolish enough to believe any of my offers are entirely altruistic at this point, I would be rather disappointed in truth if she did. "I do want something from you, but this Arnora..." I lift the stone in my hand into her field of vision as emphasis. "This. Is. Free. Let me heal you."
WEDNESDAY, MAY 2ND 2012
1608 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
NORA
Again I find myself shaking my head in opposition despite all sense, healing means touching, and there can't be any touching, there just can't! But that's not my only reason against wanting to accept it.
I do want the pain to stop, I am in agony like he said. I don't know anyone who wouldn't want to have pain go away, even the people I know who are trained to deal with the pain still don't want it when they're in it after all.
But I'm afraid of what will happen to me once it goes away. There's a strange sense of security that comes with being injured. He wants something from me, and odds are he'll try to get it once I'm healed. For the life of me all I can think about the feeling of his lips pressing a kiss against the top of my head.
I'm scared that he might want what 'not Clint' wanted from me. I can tell already that he is strong enough to take that from me if he wants to and I'm scared my heart will literally give out under the stress if he does.
I'm even more afraid though that what I'm thinking of doing is going to earn me a much slower death.
Really all I want to do right now is curl up in a ball in some corner and shrink right out of existence but I know that's not possible, and even if it was, somehow I know he would never leave me alone long enough to do it.
I caught this god's attention somehow and while I don't think that his obsession with me is an anyway a good thing, I know it could be. That is if I can stop being terrified of the idea and find the courage to start using it to my advantage.
It sounds so easy when it's just a sentence, and it probably would be easy if I was anybody but me. The new me at least, the me that settled for menial work and wasn't serious about her training as an Agent because she was scared. The me that never had any real interest in advancing in the ranks of S.H.I.E.L.D until these crippling conditions were a thing in the past tense.
If I'd been serious about relearning the skills I forgot I wouldn't be in this mess. I'd be out of here and halfway to a rendezvous with Natasha or S.H.I.E.L.D. I'd be safe.
I just never wanted it very much despite how much I owed them for all that S.H.I.E.L.D had done for me. They saved my life, but I wanted so much to be normal because being normal meant being simple and uncomplicated. I thought being normal meant being safe. Nothing bad happens to normal people, not like this.
"My dear, if what you fear is that I will touch you I can assure you..." He cuts himself off as I cut in, his words stopping not because I dared to interrupt him, but because I managed to surprise him.
"N-No, it it's not that."
WEDNESDAY, MAY 2ND 2012
1611 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
LOKI
I allow the silence to speak for me as I tilt my head curiously and let my fingers curl back over the stone as I pull back my hand to let the offer rest in my lap for now. I have a notion forming in my head as to why she protests and I am very eager to see if I am right, to see if she really has that level of bravery hidden in her.
"Its just..." Her eyes lift to mine and drop away with nervous anxiety. "I mean, if..." And the motion is repeated once more, her lovely green orbs meeting mine less than a blink before pulled away by the floor. "Y-You'd be w-willing..."
I was right. "You want to ask me for something?" I almost sound awed to my own ears because even though I hoped for it I was not truly convinced she had it in her anymore to overcome her fears like this. I was worried they carved every ounce of courage from her flesh long ago.
Hearing me say that though, she immediately goes to retract her words once again stammering various versions of the sentiment 'no' as she shakes her head. She is not entirely as brave as she seems. I have to restrain myself from completing the motion of reaching out to steady her, the sight of her flinching back once again reminds me that the usual course of action is not the correct one anymore.
"Shh..." Her voice tapers off at my hush, but her physical reaction still borders on heartbreaking intensity. She is looking around, her motion that of staccato shivering as she tries to focus on anything but my presence before her without seeming to ignore me outright. Once again, she reminds me so much of a battered animal that I have to reign in my anger. "No, my dear, do not be so frightened of me, please, and do not apologize for it either."
I saw it coming, that predictable need of a 'victim' to do whatever it takes to please their abuser; a thing I do not want to be to her mind and a response I do not want my actions to illicit anymore.
It leaves her in an odd position. She feels the need to do something to please me still, but cannot figure out what that could be without disobeying the request I just made. "I want you to ask me."
Those words caught her attention completely, of that I have no doubt. Those eyes of hers now fix themselves on mine and linger there, a sort of hopefully dismayed confusion tugging at her brows right before it crumbles away and she turns that beautiful sight from me again.
"P-Please don't b-be so cruel."
WEDNESDAY, MAY 2ND 2012
1613 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
NORA
It's a trick. I don't know what's worse to me; that he would say that, knowing I would recognize it for what it was, or that I really wanted to pretend I didn't see the metal teeth surrounding that verbal bait.
He wants to give me that 'option', the chance to ask him for things, to make requests as if I'm his equal. I want to take that option, I want to jump on it and grab it in both hands and hold so tightly to it that it buckles under my grip. I want to ignore the blatantly swaying of the price tag that I know comes with it.
I don't know much about this 'man', not more than ancient stories really, but I know that it's a universal trait within anyone they call a trickster to barter and manipulate the situation to their favor. There's always a price to pay, nothing is ever free and there's always something they can gain. A cruel, malicious trick.
I can hear him next to me, the sound of a disappointed sigh leaving him and his movement as he rises from the bed, but I don't even bother paying attention to it at the moment, I don't care what he's going to do. I'm back to just wanting to send my mind away from this horrible situation, and taking a painful sort of joy in the solid warmth of my kitten resting my lap.
At least I am until I see his shadow encompass mine and feel his presence settle squarely in front of me. I can't quite tell if my reaction is due to the fact that his whole body is there, standing far too close to my legs for my comfort, or the fact that his arm is also stretched out, his hand now resting on the other side of my legs trapping me to the bed by pressing down on the loose part of my skirt.
"Look at me, now, my dear." I do what he asks. What else can I do after all, with him leaning over me like this, exerting his dominance over the situation and over me?
"I am a Prince where I come from, a God here, a being once revered by the people of this realm..." I nod through all of those descriptions, trying to clutch my oblivious kitten without crushing him as I swallow nervously because I don't know what else to do but hope to appease him. "And I am a man..." He moves now, and it makes me flinch for a moment, my body making assumptions of violence with the shift, until my mind realizes just how wrong it is. "...Willing to bend his knee to please you."
What is this?! He's kneeling to me?! Well it isn't a true kneel I suppose given that his face is level with mine, and only one knee is actually touching the floor, the other bent out so his foot can rest against it instead. It still doesn't make sense, he's supposed to be proud, too proud to subjugate himself like this to anyone beneath him. Too proud to do it to me, even as a ploy which in itself makes no sense either.
I've been going over and over why he would bother with a mind game on someone like me. I have no access to classified knowledge, and even if I did he has more effective options at his disposal.
I don't know what's wrong with me, I want to cry, I am crying actually. I can feel the tears brimming in my eyes, and I don't why they're there, or the emotions that are with them.
Not every episode is visual or sensory. Sometimes, it's just a feeling I can't explain, like now. I want to cry because I feel honored, but ashamed, and embarrassed, and nervous, and sad. And I can't explain any of those emotions because they don't feel like mine.
The ones 'they' inspire do though, they scare and confuse me, making it all the more difficult not to cry.
His hand frightens me more. I had my eyes closed and my head lowered, trying to fight the tears back into my eyes, and then I felt his knuckle graze my cheek.
I don't think he meant to scare me by doing that, not with the way his expression went from apologetic to alarmed back to apologetic as he looked at me. I understand that sometimes people's reactions are wrong to me, just because mine are so wrong sometimes too.
"I..." He pauses looking away with a thoughtful expression as his eyes shift, almost like he can actually see the words he is trying to pick. Then he turns back to me, a brief smirk that lacks humor flashing over his lips. "...am at a loss. I know not what to do here, with you." Now he only looks disappointed, but with himself as he lifts his gloved hand and the tear, my tear, riding on it into view. "All I try is met with this."
"J-Just..." My plea is interrupted with the need to sniffle softly much to my shame. "Wh-What do y-you want with me?" I ask, making myself hold his gaze, even as he breaks it first.
He actually looks away, a rueful smile on his lips. He looks back after a moment. "From you kjære, as I said before, all I want is a chance."
"A-A cha-chan-c-ce?" The humor in that expression fades, leaving just that painful sadness. It's painful for me too, but I don't know why.
"Yes, a chance to prove the sincerity of my claim. I know you Arnora, let me remind you what that name means. Allow me to try, and for it I will pay you a promise."
I don't even know what expression he is wearing now because I'm not looking at him anymore. I'm burying my face in my palms trying to dry these damn tears, and smooth away the rising stress headache this roller-coaster has left me with.
"I'm scared." It's an admission of more than what those words say. It's an agreement. I'm giving him this 'chance'. He will pay me a promise. That's what he said, but I know it doesn't come with any guarantee he'll keep his word, in fact its more likely he won't. But, if I don't accept this opportunity now I'll lose it forever. And a bargaining tool is exactly what I' m supposed to want.
His words at least sound sincere. "I know."
NOTES FOR THE READERS:
While Nora is checking her kitten to make sure its her kitten, she references a myth behind her suspicions. That myth is where Loki turn Idun into an acorn so he could turn into a falcon and fly away with her in his talons to escape a giant eagle. You can read more about it by looking up the kidnapping of Idun on Google.