Disclaimer: I don't own Dan or Phil. I also don't own any other YouTubers you may see in this story (such as KickThePj [PJ Liguori],crabstickz (Chris Kendall) sparkleofglitter [Louise Pentland], etc.), any real life references you may see, social media (Primarily YouTube, but also Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.), music/song references, as well as artists/bands (such as Muse, MCR, etc.), and whatever you recognize. I am not creative enough to own that stuff :P I do own my OC, Abigail Elizabeth Woods, who I think is creative...?

***The barrier of two lines unlike anything else tells a different story***

I'm trying something new ;)

Chapter 25: Queen of Hearts

Phil rushes out of his bedroom nearly skids across the wooden floors at the foot of the staircase. He grabs onto the railing to gain balance and flies down the stairs, simultaneously looking at his watch.

"Crap, I'm going to be late," Phil mutters under his breath as he gets to the bottom floor, walking across the living room. He flips pillows off the couch and mutters, "Where's my phone?"

Abi walks past him and sits on the couch. She crosses her legs with a smug smile.

"And the white rabbit with a strange, black fringe says 'I'm late, I'm late, I'm late for an important date!'," she mocks, and Phil looks at her with his tongue sticking out.

"Hey, I am late for an important date," Phil says defensively. "I suppose I should've been the white rabbit instead of what I was for Halloween."

"You weren't anything for Halloween!" Abi exclaims, giggling. "You were just dressed in a giraffe onesie. You didn't even add blood or anything - you were just a giraffe."

"You weren't anything either!" Phil retorts.

Abi rolls her eyes and mutters, "Touché."

The sound of the door swinging open startles Phil and Abi. They turn around and face the door, and after what seemed like an eternity, Dan walks into the living room holding Striker's leash. Abi sighs in relief.

"Jesus, Dan, knock," she breathes out. Phil nods frantically.

"She's right! You could've been a burglar or something," he adds. Dan rolls his eyes, kneeling down and taking Striker's leash off, followed by his harness. When he's done, Striker walks to the kitchen for a drink, and Dan stands up.

"Hey, this is my house too," Dan replies. "I have a key, so I don't see why I can't use it."

"We barely heard you open the door with your key," Phil says quietly. "How were we supposed to know who it was? It could've been -"

Phil stops, and Abi wordlessly sighs.

"So…," Dan stretches the word to break the silence, taking off his coat and saying, "I heard Phil was becoming the white rabbit?"

Phil shakes his head in disbelief, chuckling as he goes to the mirror and adjusts his fringe. Abi nods.

"Yeah, he's late for his important date with 'the queen of hearts'," she says. Dan glares at Phil.

"You didn't tell me you had a date with Rosalina!" he exclaims.

"Now that I think about it, Phil didn't tell me until this morning when he asked me what he should wear today," Abi says, looking at Phil accusingly.

"I don't know why you chose glasses over contacts anyway," Phil says, trying to steer away from the subject. Dan wasn't having any of it, giving him a sassy hand-on-the-hip pose. Phil's cheeks go red.

"Of course I didn't tell you guys," Phil mumbles, embarrassed. "You call her the 'queen of hearts' after all - that alone should be a clue."

"She is pretty demanding," Dan comments, and Phil shoots daggers at home. He immediately goes to the kitchen to check on Striker, coughing to cover his giggles.

Abi faces Phil and says, "Ignore him. What he is trying to say is that he is happy for your newfound relationship."

Phil goes red. "Thanks, Abi. It means a lot. To be honest, it's weird being in this position - I'm nearly thirty and this is my first proper date in nearly two decades."

"Live a little, Lester," Dan calls out from the kitchen, "and spare your youth!"

Phil nearly scoffs aloud, and Abi shakes her head.

"Ignore him!" Abi says again, this time shooting a glance at Dan, who innocently whistles and refills Striker's bowl with more food. Phil's hand twitches nervously - a habit that Abi has noticed lately with the Brit. He sighs.

"This is my first actual date with Rosa," he mutters. "What if she decides that I'm not the right one for her? I mean, did you see the new baking video? She probably did! She probably thinks I'm gay for Dan."

"You say that like it's a bad thing!" Dan comments, and Abi hushes him.

"Sweetie, everyone thinks your gay for Dan," Abi replies, and Phil nods in defeat. "It's just up to you to show her that you are a proud hetreosexual ready to pounce on any opprutunity that love throws your way."

"You make me sound like a love-crazed lion," he deadpans. Dan snickers from the kitchen.

"Shut up, Dan!" the two yell, and Dan just raises his hands in defense, joining them into the kitchen as Striker finished up his meal.

"Hey, you'll be fine, P-Lizzle," Dan says, patting his back. Phil groans.

"If 'P-Lizzle' is anything to go by, I am pretty much screwed."

"Now don't say that!" Abi says. "You are funny, sweet, caring, and pretty much everything a girl would ever want."

"Yeah," Phil scoffs, "pretty much everything a twelve-year old would want."

"Don't think about the phandom, Phil," Dan says seriously. "She's not dating AmazingPhil; she's dating Phil Lester. When I met Phil Lester, I was blown away - one of them sang a male-version of 'Toxic' for the lol's, and one of them would talk through my existential crisis away. Even if you are amazing, that isn't what she's going to judge you are. You just do...you."

Abi and Phil are stunned into silence - even Striker, who walks into the living room, looks up in some sort of starstruck awe.

"What?" Dan squeaks.

Phil clears his throat and finally replies, "Well...you just gave me a lot of good advice for someone who called me 'P-Lizzle' a few minutes ago."

Dan sticks out his tongue, and the doorbell rings. Abi pats Phil's back.

"Time to see the 'queen of hearts', Philly," Abi says with a proud of smile. Phil bites back a smile.

"What are you guys going to do?"

Abi shrugs and says, "I'm probably going to help Dan edit the 'DAPGOOSE Q&A' so he can post it soon, and probably watch a movie."

"That sounds good," Dan says with a smile, pushing Phil towards the door. "Good luck, Phil!"

"Wait -"

Without waiting for him to reply, Dan opens the door to see Rosa, leaning on the doorframe with a skinny black dress. Phil gulps.

"Hey, Phil," she purrs. Phil tugs his collar and pushes his glasses up.

"Hi," he stutters, and Abi pushes him out the door and the last thing they see is Phil's nervous smile before they close the door.

"Do you think we were a bit too...much with him?" Dan asks as he locks the door. Abi stares outside the door and watches Phil walk Rosa to her car, saying something that made her laugh. They disappear into the car.

"I think we were just fine," Abi replies with a small smile.

They finish editing the Q&A after lunch, and Abi giggles at the many stories that Dan and Phil told at the event. Even if she was backstage at the event, it was still as funny as it was during the live event.

"I'm glad you decided to film the Q&A," Abi says as she brings a bowl of microwave popcorn into the lounge. "At least you don't have to make your poor fans pay again."

Dan puts a hand to his heart, mocking his hurt feelings and replying, "To my defense, we have to make money somehow! We are paying for three people and a dog under this roof."

Abi rolls her eyes as she watches Dan flip through the movies on Netflix. She sits beside him on the couch, putting the bowl of popcorn in the middle.

"So what do you want to watch?" Dan asks through a handful of popcorn. Abi looks at him, dumbfounded.

"Don't you have more work to do?" she asks. Dan shrugs.

"You aren't going to eat all that popcorn by yourself without a movie, are you?" he retorts, and Abi gives in after that.

"Alright, so put a movie on," she says, and Dan smiles.

"I knew you'd give in to the temptation of procrastination!"

"Only because you are as well," Abi giggles, lightly punching him on the arm. Dan rolls his eyes and continues scrolling through movies. When his eyes read a certain title, his eyes widen.

"Ooh, they added Zootroplis!" Dan says, his wide, brown eyes facing Abi's. She raises an eyebrow.

"Zootroplis?" she echoes. "Don't you mean Zootopia?"

Dan frowns. "It's Zootroplis in England."

"Why?"

"I don't know!" Dan says defensively. "I didn't write the movie."

Abi rolls her eyes and she nods in satisfaction. "Well Zootroplis sounds good, and so does Zootopia."

"Awesome," Dan exclaims, and he clicks the movie. It loads, and Abi smiles at the nerdy Brit munching on popcorn beside her.

The opening scene starts promptly, and Abi decides to curl onto the couch beside Dan. Before she lies down on Dan's crossed legs, she looks at his eyes that were fixed on the screen and were oblivious to what was happening - just to be safe, she puts a pillow between his leg and her head.

Dan, however, is very much aware of what was happening - Abi is lying down on his leg with a pillow between her head and his lap. He did his best to make sure he didn't seem to notice, but he could feel his heart race.

'What should I do?' he thinks wearily. 'Should I make a move? Is she telling me I should? God, I bet Phil knows what to do…'

Dan doesn't do anything for a good hour into the movie; he can't seem to make any moves to advance the situation at hand. They're laughing, they're telling each other funny comments on the movie, but they can't seem to do anything other than act like a platonic duo - he could almost feel the frustration that his fans had when they watch any video with him and Phil.

On the other hand, Abi is desperately waiting for something - anything - that would progress their relationship at every moment.

She he watches Dan's face scrunch up in concentration, muttering his theories on the movie's ending - something to do with a crack conspiracy he saw on Game Theory that she would never understand - and nearly melts.

'You don't have to wait for him,' her mind reminds her. 'You can do something. Anything. Why cuddle against him or something. You already had the guts to kiss him three times in the past three months or so. The least you can do now is cuddle or something.'

Abi pulls the pillow from underneath her and lets her head rest on Dan's lap. She dares to look up and watches his eyes suddenly widen, barely glancing at her. She smirks.

"Enjoying the movie?" she asks slyly. Dan tugs his the neckline of his sweater, feeling hot - especially from his "problem" that was beginning to grow.

'Grandma, grandma, grandma, grandma,' he thought frantically in his mind, adjusting himself uncomfortably and biting back a moan.

"Er, yeah." His voice was high and squeaky - she got to him, she knows it.

Dan is quick to cover up. "As I said, MatPat said something about Zootopia - or Zootroplis, or whatever - about it having to do with cocaine or something."

Abi bites back her disappointment. "I mean, I do feel a Breaking Bad vibe about this show - we got past the sheep-making-drugs right?"

"I think," Dan says sheepishly, "I'm not paying much attention."

The words nearly make Abi choke on the popcorn in her throat. She swallows it loudly, along with her guilt - she should've not done anything.

She stares at the empty popcorn bowl in front of Dan and whispers, "Can you refill it?"

Dan nods, not asking what 'it' was, and picks it up. He makes a beeline to the kitchen, and Abi sits upright on the couch, her eyes glued to the TV screen. She doesn't act fazed when Striker hops onto the couch and sits beside her in the same place Dan was.

"Oh, Striker," she whispers quietly. "You're lucky you never have to deal with human emotions."

A strange thought of 'but what if they do…?' passes her mind when she sees his wide-eyes stare at her, and she just shakes her head.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Dan is microwaving another bowl of popcorn, his mind frantically racing with anything to say.

"Make a move, dammit," he mutters to himself as he adjusts the time on the microwave. "You can just talk to her and that could go somewhere. Usually works anything…"

"You said something?" Abi calls from the living room, and Dan remembers that the open-living situation that their bottom floor had wasn't convenient for hiding his 'talking-to-myself' habit.

"Uh, no!" Dan squeaks. "Just talking to myself."

"What else is new?" Abi laughs, and Dan forces himself to do so as well.

Finally, when he realizes he has no other choices he could think of, he pulls out his phone and prays to God that Phil wasn't sucking face with Rosalina at that exact moment.

"I'm going to the bathroom!" he squeaks. "Get the popcorn, will ya?"

He leaves before Abi can respond. Dan races to the bathroom and locks the door, leaning on it and quietly letting himself moan a bit. He dials Phil in panic, and the phone ring three times before Phil finally answers.

"Hello?" a voice says in his ear. Dan lets a mini-sigh of relief escape and he takes a sneak peek at Abi in the living room, smiling at the movie.

"Phil, I'm sorry to disrupt your date, but I am kind of freaking out," Dan says, beginning his rant. "See, I'm a bit frustrated because -"

"Dan, if this is about Muse's cover of 'New Kind Of Kick', can you just give it up? It was a frickin' joke, and Matt Bellamy will never dress up like that again, so give up the hope of him getting Elvis hair."

Dan frowns. "Er, that wasn't what I was talking about. I don't know how you got that conclusion."

"Really? Because that's all you've been talking about for the last week since it came out -"

"It's about Abi, okay?" Dan cuts him off, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. "We're watching Zootroplis right now -"

"What's Zootroplis? Do you mean Zootopia?"

"Not the point, Phil," he hisses. "We're watching a movie right now, and she was lying down on a pillow that was also on my lap, but then an hour into the movie, she moves the pillow and her head hits my lap."

"Wow, Dan, what a story," Phil deadpans. Dan's cheeks are flushed.

"Phil, it…," He pauses, and lowers his voice to a whisper when he says, "it turned me on."

Dan could almost imagine Phil's eyes widening.

"Dan...you got turned on by a missing pillow?"

Dan groans over Phil's giggles. "No, no! Don't say that out loud! You're in a fancy restaurant for God's sake, do you want me to die of embarrassment?"

"I'm in the bathroom, geez. Rosa saw someone here she works with at the pizzeria and she's talking to them, so I'm taking this call in the toilet stalls. Where are you?"

"I'm in the bathroom, and half of that info was not necessary," he mutters. "I don't know what to do, Phil."

"Since when do we help each other with erections?"

"Since we got a girl in the house, I assume?!" he exclaims, before quieting himself down.

"Come on, this can't be the first time this has happened with Abi."

"...of course it's the first time." That was a lie, but he would never admit that to Phil, let alone over the phone. "Look, can you just tell me what to do? The sexual tension is so thick you can cut it with a damn knife."

"For starters, you can try to solve your little 'problem' downstairs, if you catch my drift."

Dan dares to look down and he gulps, trying not to make any noise - especially in front of Phil.

"Not funny, Phil," he mutters, before taking a deep breath, nearly shuddering.

Suddenly, he hears three knocks on the bathroom doors. His eyes widen.

"Dan?"

"It's Abi!" he hisses quietly through the phone.

"Uh, say something!" Phil replies.

"I-It's Ed!" he blurts out. "I'm talking to Ed right now, I'll be out in a second."

"Um...alright," Abi answers after some hesitation. "Tell him I say hi!"

"Abi says hi, Ed," Dan says quickly, and he leans against the door - he could hear her footsteps grow farther and farther away. He leans on the door and takes a breath.

"Is she gone?" Phil whispers. Dan sighs.

"Yes, Phil, she's gone," he says, "and I think this little incident fixed my problem."

Phil laughs, much to Dan's frustration.

"What should I do, Phil?" Dan whines. "I can't take this anymore, and it's not only because of...what happened."

"Just tell her, Dan. Cut the crap."

"Harder than it sounds, Phil. She wants to wait, I don't want to rush her."

"She kissed you, like, three times in the last three months. I don't think she wants to wait anymore."

Dan stays quiet. Phil sighs.

"Look, Dan, I have to go. Rosa is probably wondering where I'm at."

Dan sighs. "Okay. Thank you."

"Anytime, Dan," Phil says. He hesitates, and adds, "Just consider it, okay? You guys deserve each other more than anything...you guys shouldn't have to wait anymore if you really care about each other.

Before Dan can say anything, he is met with a dial tone.

***
"Where'd you disappear off to?" Rosa asks when Phil comes back from the washroom and seats himself back at their table. "Lisa really wanted to meet you."

"Dan called. He needed something for…the 'DAPGOOSE Q&A' video. Just some questions on a certain part." Phil says vaguely.

"Editing tips?" Rosa giggles. Phil forces out a laugh.

"Yup. You know Dan and his editing tips - he has needed them since '09."

"You guys have an interesting relationship, actually," Rosa says slyly, leaning forwards across the table, her elbows rested at each side of her plate. "I can understand why people ship you two together."

Phil rubs the back of his neck with a blush. "Uh, i-it's not like that."

"Hey, I'm not one to judge," Rosa says before laughing, and Phil just assumes her words were a joke.

"Tell me, Phil - does Dan have a girlfriend?" she asks after a while. "I mean, Abi seems pretty close to him and they have kissed a few times."

"How do you know it was more than once?" Phil says with a smirk, steering away from the question, feeling oddly uncomfortable. "You only saw at the TATINOF movie premieres - how do you know they kissed more than once."

Rosa returns a smug smile and replies, "Now I do."

Phil can't help but laugh once more, the uncomfortable feeling he once had suddenly disappearing.

"No, Dan and Abi aren't dating," Phil finally answers, "not yet. I kind of play the 'shipper' on this one - they'll probably get married in the future. Hopefully I can be the best man and stuff a lion into Dan's pocket or something."

Rosa's smile nearly falls. "You're a dork."

Phil grins and replies, "You certainly like dating dorks."

Rosa falls silent. Phil sees the softened expression on her face, and his eyes widen, his mind racing anxiously.

"Did I say something wrong?" Phil stutters. "I-I didn't mean to, I swear. I just -"

"No, no," Rosa says, raising her hands as if she was wiping his worries away. "I'm just surprised. I didn't know we were dating, as I am not sure if you return the same love I have for you that burns in my heart."

Now Phil falls silent, and orders another glass of wine as the server walks by.

"I hope you didn't mind me saying that," Rosa says, and she smiles.

Phil shakes his head wordlessly, and downs the whole glass when it comes to him in one gulp.

His eyes shoot open to his ceiling.

Phil blinks, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes when he realizes his whole world was blurry. He groans at the sudden pain in his head, flipping over to get his glasses on the bedside table.

When he adjusts his eyes behind his lenses, she can see that he's in his room.

His mind is trying to remember what happened the previous night, but his memories were blank.

When he sits up, he becomes fully aware that he's naked, and Rosa's bra was hanging on the edge of his bed.

He tries not to panic, and he can almost remember her moans - he didn't...did he?

His head echoes with the image of her naked, and she laughs. Phil visibly shudders at the thought - was something she would definitely do.

They were drunk, now that he can remember. They did something...he didn't want to believe it, but -

Phil nearly chokes on a sob. She going to leave him once she realized that her date was a disaster hey were drunk and his inhibitions were loose; he took advantage of her. Was she even drunk? Was she -

He lets his anxious rambles subside when he notices that there is a letter on his bedside table, along with a glass of water and an Advil.

Phil squints and he realizes that it's in Rosa's handwriting - she always signed her name in big, fancy cursive.

He takes a breath and takes the letter - he'd have to face it eventually.
***

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