Are your ready? Chapter 6: Swallowing a Secret

It has been three months since; Haruka found out that she is pregnant. The longer she waits the harder it will be to tell Ren the truth. Doesn't help the fact that her stomach is growing. The young composer has gotten use of the early stages of pregnancy, it help's that Toma has been there for her.

(Will today be the day to tell Ren…or no…?) That thought has been on her mind every single day. Haruka is afraid that Ren may be so angry that he may never speak to her again nor help her raise the baby. Haruka believes Ren is not the type of person to abandon her, of this lifetime decision. She can't help by having cold-feet.

What she is struggling to do is have alone time with Ren. What normally comes up is, he is busy doing his own work, nor do his fan girls make it impossible to go near him, and, practicing with STARISH.

Haruka is in her room laying on her bed while staring at the celling, that's all she seems to do lately, being in her room and locking up with her emotions. The only person she can talk to is Toma, and she has been a great support and a good listener. Toma has mention something to the young composer last night where Haruka cannot ignore or forget.

*Last night*

"Haruka may I ask you a serious question?"

"Yes?"

Toma and Haruka are laying on their beds talking to each other in the dark. Even though they cannot see each other they are still facing each other.

"Do you…want to keep the baby?" Toma softly whispered.

Haruka's heart race as her topaz eyes widen in surprise, she is relieved that Toma cannot see her right now because her facial expression is confusion.

"W-Why do you ask me that…I-I…am not sure," Haruka turn to the side of her bed not wanting to face Toma's way, "I haven't spoken to Ren yet…I need to before I make a decision."

"I know…just I wish I can tell him myself-but…it's not my place, you got to figure this out, I would hate for Shining to find out, you're about to show more in your stomach really soon and-" Toma got cut off by Haruka.

"STOP!" She got up from her bedside while, rubbing her eyes trying to stop the tears but it was a challenge, "You think…I don't know this, I never wanted this to happen! I want to continue being a composer for STARISH it's my dream now, I work so hard getting there I just cannot abandon the guys…they need me. I been worrying about Ren all this time, but…I have to worry about the others too. This situation is going to affect them too…" Haruka said in her crying voice.

Toma got up turn the lamp on in the bedroom and walk over to Haruka to comfort her.

….

It felt like last night's conversation, is still affecting Haruka strongly today and she decided not to leave the room today. Her emotions are getting worse each day and her fear is getting the best of her.

*Knock*Knock*

"Who is it?" Harkua asked gloomily.

"Hi Nanami-san! This is Riho, I accidentally have your mail by accident and I wanted to give it back to you."

The Composer eyes widen and got up from her bed to walk toward the door to open it, and met with Riho's gaze.

"Here you go!" Riho said cheerfully while handing her the mail.

"T-Thank you. I am sorry for the mix up." Haruka bow to her politely.

"No worries! Say are you feeling okay? You look kind of pale." Riho tilted her head to the side, while her green eyes show concern.

"I am fine. Thank you again, have a nice day." Haruka said quickly and closed the door behind her. She let out a sigh and walk back to her bed with the letter still in her hand while she open the letter up and read.

Dear Haruka,

How are you doing? Are you eating enough? How are your studies going? Sorry that I am asking so many question's. I am your grandmother after all and you're always on my mind twenty-four seven.

Is STARISH still a great success? I remember you and the find young men came to visit me last spring, it made me so happy to see you so overjoyed. I never seen you with that much happiness. Going to Saotome Academy was the right decision for you, because you met so many good people and you're living your dream.

I been wanting to tell you this for the longest time-but your mother was a Saotome student back in the day, she didn't want to be a composer but wanted to be a idol. Your mother was a beauty and wanted to live out her dream. But…she never did. I cannot share what happened because it's your mother's business to share and not mind. The reason why I brought it up because, I am so proud of you for not giving up. Continue being a great success my Haruka. I love you very much, come visit me soon.

P.s-Please tell me you have a crush on the find gentlemen? Tell me soon!

Love, Grandma

Haruka kept re-reading her grandma's words it made her heart yearn with sadness and guilt. She wish she can share her grandma about the baby, but she can't. Not after she found out that her mother was a Saotome student back in the day. The young composer walk over to her dresser and pull out her album. She look at old pictures of herself when she was young, Haruka and her grandmother and her mother.

"Mom…why did you give up your dream…"

Haruka kept thinking for a longtime till it finally hits her. She finally knew what she must do.

"Haruka! I am home!" Toma sings to her friend by entering in the bedroom and close the door behind. The beautiful idol stares at Haruka with confusion, "What's wrong…"

"Toma! I know what to do about this situation." Haruka said with courage. She turn to Toma met with her amethyst eyes as her topaz eyes shine under the bedroom light.

"You're finally going to tell Ren! Finally! Let's go right now!" Toma bounce to her grab her hand about to leave the room till Haruka open's her mouth.

"No Listen!" Haruka said with anger in her voice. Till she lets out a sigh and remain calm to continue, "Toma…I am not giving up my dream to be a composer it's too important to me. I been thinking and thinking and I finally came up with a solution…"

"Okay…tell me?" Toma voice became concern.

"I am giving the baby away for adoption."

Author Notes-OH MY GOD! I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED LIKE A YEAR! I was having trouble how to type up the chapter six. Thank you all for sticking around still. I apologize for the long wait. Don't worry I will continue this story! I hope this chapter was good please let me know your thoughts!

Whats going to happen? Will Ren ever find out XD You got to wait and see! Another thing, I am way open for ideas about this story. So if you guys have ideas please do share I would love to hear it :) don't worry I still have ideas up in my sleeves. Thank you all that has favorite, follow and review. You all made me so happy!

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Peace out!