It's the 4th chapter, hooray! I did post it later than my supposed to be schedule, I didn't procrastinate! It's true! Well, maybe a little but I'm glad that I can upload it now.
Thanks for my lovely reviewers, supremekikay24-san, Fujiyuki-san, bebekanon-san, tightpans-san and all my readers.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
People said that you couldn't choose where to be born but you could choose what you wanted to be. For Tezuka Kunimitsu, being born in Tezuka's family was a bliss but also a lonely life. Having a designer as a mother was quite something then, his father and grandfather were policemen. Both his parents were rarely at home, his mother always flew around the world for her exhibition and his father always had cases to solve.
A phrase like "Gomen ne, Kunimitsu.. Mama is too busy. Let's go to the park next time, ne.."
Or
"Not now, Kunimitsu. This case is important, I can't leave it. Here, read this book and tell me about it when you have finished it."
His parents were too busy to know about their only son better. Tezuka learned it hard way how people crushed his hope, how to pretend that he was fine and how he stopped hoping at all.
Little Tezuka spent almost all of his time with his grandfather, his grandfather brought him to many places, they went hiking, fishing and sometimes having shogi matches.
The only time when he could meet other kids was when they had a big party at Sanada's family. He met many cousins who he never thought he ever had. They were fun to play with and they had many stories to share around. He really looked forward the party time every year. He liked Genichirou most from all of his cousins. He was quiet boy yet had many similarity with him, they loved to go to adventure around the forest near Genichirou's house, they always had matches in fishing and shogi.
It was Genichirou who introduced him to tennis. He was attached immediately to tennis since he could meet many friends around his age and also having matches with them. He loved how tennis improved his reflexes, endurance and his sportsmanship. Still, he had no close friends so far, he did had good friends but everyone was too afraid of him which made them didn't dare to get closer to him. Only in tennis he could met great rivals.
In senior high school, he decided to move to Germany, following his mother and studying together to improve his tennis' skill. He thought with moving to Germany he would be able to spend more time with his mother and became less lonely, yet what happened was quite opposite. His mother was too busy with her works and they rarely met each other, it was more lonely than in Germany. At least, when he was in Japan he still had his grandfather and his cousins but here he had nobody. Fortunately, his tennis' ability soared in Germany. He managed to be a champion in many contests and he gradually met many people just like he wished. He then got a scholarship and decided to study at the university at Germany, too.
His meeting with Yukimura Seiichi made him felt new things that he never felt before. Yukimura taught him how to joke and think out of the box, Sanada's best friend also taught him that he still had many tough rivals around the world so he shouldn't get his guard down, he also made Tezuka thought the feeling loved ones.
Tezuka enjoyed his time with the ex-captain of Rikkaidai. He didn't have to put on his fake mask all the time, the smaller man was casually talk to him which he appreciated it more and although they always talked about Genichirou but he never felt left behind by the blunett. He would seek the blunett whenever he had time in Japan and their conversation always been lively and so amusing. He never got bored when he talked to the smaller man, deep down in his heart he thought he was in love with this man. That's why he took the first opportunity to ask the man to go out with him even though he didn't know the blunett's feeling for him.
He was happy when Yukimura said he accepted his proposal.
When they finally being in relationship, something changed. They met each other yet they didn't enjoy their time together as before. They conversed yet he didn't think Yukimura always been there with him. Yukimura always looked so lonely whenever he was with him. Tezuka tried many things to make up for him. He brought Yukimura flowers which he liked, rare books about plants and flowers, he brought him anywhere the fragile man wanted yet he couldn't find a real smile at Yukimura's face.
Tezuka schedule became more intense than before which made them couldn't meet often. Tezuka still tried to call or send him letter whenever he had time yet he rarely got reply. He didn't know what he did wrong that make Yukimura became so distance to him.
It didn't take much time for him to feel unwanted and couldn't be loved, again. He stopped seeing Yukimura and let their relationship dangling without any way out. He was tired, and if Yukimura still wanted to continue it, it was Yukimura who had to make a move. When he had day off, he would spend it sitting at a park or in a cafe and looked around, he felt frustrated with his life. Why some people would leave someone so precious to them, they didn't appreciate who loved them the most and took things for granted. If people would throw away their life to live in his live then he would gladly exchange his, as long as he had someone who was willing to be his thoroughly. Then he realized how ridiculous his thoughts was, so he decided that rather than spending his holiday with useless activities, it's better to use it for training and having matches with his friends.
Without realizing it, he filled his schedule with training and having matches for the next three months. His body was pushed into its limits until the deadly match happened. He didn't know how it happened but when he was giving another smash, his racket tumbled and broke, the fraction flew right into his eyes.
He asked to be brought back to Japan and his coach gave him a time off until next year before continuing his competition. His mother called and asked how he was doing and his father came to see him only to be called back to manage a new case.
He never thought that Yukimura would come and visit him. He thought their relationship was something Yukimura had put behind and forgot about. He felt complicated, on one hand he was a bit happy that Yukimura cared enough to visit him but on the other hand he was uncertain about Yukimura's motivation. Yet, he let Yukimura stayed.
Being unable to see gave him more sensitive senses except his vision. He could hear better and could feel the emotions behind the words. He could smell better than he used to be like how he could smell the flowers around his room which really stifling. His fingers could felt how the blanket and pillow were made of. The hospital used a better material for his blanket and sturdy material for his pillow.
So it was a strange thing when he thought there was something different about Yukimura who came yesterday. The Yukimura he ever known was always cheerful and full of sarcasm yet this Yukimura was far from it. He was quieter and seemed distance. Had he changed after all these time? Why didn't he come sooner? Did Yukimura forget about them already?
His weak condition and his unstable emotion made him felt like useless person and he didn't want anyone to see him in this state of condition. Yukimura always tried to start a conversation which he ignored. The fruits Yukimura brought and peeled were left uneaten. Tezuka wouldn't be deceived by Yukimura anymore. He didn't need that man anymore and yet he let that man stayed.
###
It was in the middle of summer, he could still feel the hotness. The cicadas sang and children were running around, playing with the water gun. He loved the peaceful and beautiful day.
Suddenly a voice called him, a voice which always gave him a long and sorrowful nightmare. Then the park and blue sky changed into darkness and something was holding him into the ground. He couldn't move away and lost his breathing.
"Listen to this, boy. If you ever try to tell anyone about today's deal then I'll make sure that everyone around you will become as cold and stiff as these people here. Understand? I don't give any shit about your begging! So I think it's better for you to die here." the cold and disgusting voice penetrated in his head and his heart.
No, I won't tell anyone.
I'm scared.. Help..
"Remember it, kid. I'm always watching you."
He ran. He ran away from the voice.
I won't tell anyone. Please.. Please spare my family.
He felt the voice mocked him and then chased him into the thick darkness. He had nowhere and no one to run to.
Help.
He felt the voice came closer and grabbed his head, arms and legs, suffocated him and suddenly he felt his body fell into the deep pit.
Help!
Fuji Syusuke woke from his sleep with a startled. His hair was damp from his sweat and his tears was falling down from his eyes. He looked around him only to realize that he was safe in his apartment. His body trembled and he suppressed his cries. He cradled himself on his arms and rock himself gently to calm himself down.
It's just a dream.
It's just a dream.
It's just a dream.
He repeated the sentence in his head. He convinced himself that everything would be okay. It was just a dream and nobody could harm him now.
He stepped out of his bed when he felt his body wasn't as weak as before and checked on his windows rightaway. He always did that after his nightmare attacked. After that incident, he made sure that he had locked his window and door thrice each time he went to sleep whether he was with his family or alone. He couldn't help to recheck it every time he pass the door and windows. He became paranoid and he always put a baseball bat next to his bed, just to be safe.
He looked at the watch and saw it was a little after three, two hours after he went to sleep. Fuji knew he wouldn't be able to sleep after a long night like this so he decided to start his day earlier. He started his coffee machine and prepared his breakfast together with his lunch for later.
Thirty minutes later his coffee and breakfast were ready and he moved to his livingroom , then he opened his television. There was nothing interesting for him so after several times pushing the button he settled on a small dialogue about healthy lifestyle. He put his arms on the table and his head topped on them. He didn't have any appetite but he knew that if he didn't eat now he wouldn't be able to enjoy his meal until lunch time.
He kept picking on his food and ate only a third of it. When the show ended, the sun had been risen from the horizon. He stood and then put his food into the fridge and readied to university.
When he arrived at the emergency call unit that evening, the employees from the morning shift had gone home. He waited patiently for a call but also hoped that nobody needed his service and everyone didn't meet problems that night.
His shift ended at eleven p.m and he headed to the hospital. He hadn't visited Tezuka that day, he wanted to skip this part of his schedule but he didn't dare to. He would disappoint his cousin so he would kept visiting although he was treated like a pest.
He managed to bribe the front desk nurse to slip him in and promised to stay for five-minutes only. When he walked into the room, the man had been sleeping so he tried to be silent. Fuji looked around the dark room and found that some of the flowers had withered so he put them away from the room. He refilled the water for the vase and changed the water in the pitcher. He then added another water bottle into the small fridge beside the bed, in case the athlete need it in the afternoon. He also peeled the fruits and placed them next to the water bottle inside the fridge. He frowned when he found that Tezuka didn't touch the fruits Fuji peeled the day before.
"What a spoiled brat." Fuji muttered.
He then put the man's arms back into the blanket when suddenly his stomach growled. He pressed both of his hands on his stomach and worried that Tezuka heard it yet the man was sleeping so soundly.
He sighed and relaxed. He checked on the windows to make sure that they were locked before looked around once again and sure that everything was fine. When he was satisfied, he readied to go home. He was closing the door and then decided to walk back.
"Good night, sleep tight. Don't worry about the dark because you are the light. They can't hurt you because you are stronger than them." He caressed Tezuka's head before walked away. It's his another spell to make himself brave since he was a boy and he hoped this spell could help Tezuka to get better each day passed.
After Fuji's gone, the athlete's hand then moved to the place where the brunette's was before.
###
"Good afternoon. How are you today?" Fuji asked when he entered the bedroom. His classes ended earlier that day and he was on his day off from the Hotline.
Tezuka grunted his answer and then ignored him just like before. Fuji sat down and started rummaging the big paper bag he brought with. "I bought some apple and juice on my way here. Do you want the juice or the apple first?"
"Neither. I just had my lunch."
"Really? I met the nurse on my way here and they are just starting to distribute the food."
Tezuka cleared his throat and folded his arms in front of his chest, he was on his defense state. Fuji chuckled and didn't push it any further.
"Here. Apple juice. I love the juice from this place, it's the best."
Tezuka turned his head to Fuji's direction. "Bring it here."
"Here." Fuji placed the glass on Tezuka's hand.
"No. I can't see the straw, can I? How do you want me to drink it?" He grumbled.
"Alright. Alright. Here." Fuji sat next to Tezuka on his bed and poked the straw on Tezuka's lips.
"Closer." Tezuka commanded.
Fuji stiffened. "It's closer enough. Don't want to suffocate you, do we?" He laughed nervously.
Tezuka sipped the drink and he faced Fuji's direction. He clearly thinking about something, Fuji almost could hear the machine inside Tezuka's head grinding. "Something is different." Tezuka said straightforwardly.
"And that is.." Fuji said slowly but inside his head, his alarm was ringing loudly, his hands were shaking, fortunately Tezuka couldn't see it.
Oh my god. Oh my god.
"You are different. Everything about you is different. Your voice, your way to talk. Who are you?" Fuji couldn't see it but he surely could feel Tezuka's eyebrows crinkled.
"Wha.. What are you talking about? It's me, Yukimura Seiichi, ne? Silly man." Fuji tried to giggle as Sei-chan usually did. He hoped his giggle didn't sound as a dying lamb.
"Hn.. I heard Genichirou got hurt, how is he?" He asked after a minute.
"He is fine. He injured his leg but other than that he is fine. Here." He gave Tezuka the straw hoping it would shut the athlete to up.
"Have you met him?"
Fuji thought for a moment, Sei-chan and Sanada-san are very close so certainly Sei-chan has met him, right? Moreover Sei-chan looked so worried about Sanada-san. "Yes, I have met him. He is fine."
"How is your sister?" Tezuka asked again when Fuji didn't say anything else.
"Seiko? She is in her sophomore year, ne. She takes the summer practice more intensely. She wants to get into the regular. Maa, she is really something." Fuji chuckled
"I see. Her techniques are good but lacking in stamina. She needs a harder stamina exercise."
"Yes, that's what she said. I hope she doesn't overwork herself, though. It's bad enough to have you here. I don't want any of you falling in sickness."
The nurse entered the room and brought the foods on Tezuka's table.
Make sure he eats them, he didn't eat much these days. The nurse scribbled on her note.
Fuji nodded and gave her an assuring smile. She left them after making sure the foods were placed.
"The rice is right in front of you, the soup is on the rice's right. On the left side is the omelets. The salads and pudding are on the furthest side of your table. I will pour some water and give it to you whenever you want it."
"Hn.. Itadakimasu." Tezuka clapped his hand and started to eat. Fuji then peeled the apple and ate them too.
"Tell me, how is Genichirou?"
How am I supposed to know? Why are you asking that? But how do you know him? He screamed silently.
Fuji bit his lips and didn't know how to answer. "He is not injured badly. Don't worry. He will get better much faster than you, I think." He teased.
"He is the ace of his team, their matches must be hard at this season."
"Really? Oh, I mean.. Yes. The team is the best so don't worry." Or so Fuji hoped.
Was it just his imagination or Tezuka did talk too much today?
"Do you like the present I sent to you on your birthday?"
Now what?
"Yes. Thank you"
"Hn.. I hope you can show me when I am discharged."
What did he give to Sei-chan?
"Sure. Do you want some water?"
"Hn.." Fuji then placed the glass on Tezuka's hand and quickly pulled his hand when the glass was secured on Tezuka's hand.
"Enough. I don't it want any more." Tezuka pushed the table away, Fuji inspected the foods and was delighted that Tezuka ate all his foods.
"Okay." Fuji brought the table to the wall when suddenly his phone rang. He excused himself and received it at the next room.
"Tanaka-san?"
"Fuji-kun, I'm sorry for bothering you but can you come here?"
"What is it?"
"My grandson fell at his school but my daughter can't leave her work now. Can you replace me? I will cover your schedule next time." she sounded so distressed.
"No. I mean you don't have to cover it. I'm free right now, I'll got there rightaway."
"Oh, Thank you, thank you very much, Fuji-kun." she sighed and her voice was shaking now.
"It's not a problem, Tanaka-san. See you, then." He closed his phone and back to Tezuka's room.
"I'm sorry but I have to go now. There's something urgent happened."
"As you wish." Tezuka shrugged.
Tezuka was mad, Fuji knew it. Fuji bit his lips, Tezuka had been giving him a cold shoulder for days and when Tezuka just began to melt, he left the man.
"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you. Do you need me to get or bring something tomorrow when I'm coming here?"
"Pudding. Pudding from N-store." He answered after several seconds.
Fuji nodded although the taller man couldn't see it. "Alright. I will bring it. Please finish all your food, okay? Don't forget to put your arms under the blanket when you sleep, the window, too.. Ask the nurse to lock it when you are going to sleep. Also—"
"I got it. I can do those things. You don't need to tell me."
"Okay. Sorry. Bye then."
Tezuka didn't answer him.
###
"Momoshiro, do you know the pudding from N-store?"
"Of course, Fuji-senpai! It's the most famous pudding in the town. They make only thirty puddings each day. Man, it's difficult to buy that pudding. I have only taste once and that's because I waited from 5 in the morning in front of the shop. They are sold less than an hour. That's crazy." Momoshiro took the file from Fuji's hand and walked away.
Fuji groaned inwardly. What the hell is that? Why in the hell people so obsessed with that pudding? Even Momoshiro ate it once only, and he is known as a big eater. Fuji slammed his head to the table.
His shift ended at eleven p.m and the journey to N-store needed around two hours. Welcome, sleep deprivation!
###
"Here." Fuji handed the pudding next morning.
"What's that?"
"Your pudding." He waited patiently in front of the shop from 5 in the morning and finally be able to buy at six. Fuji lacked some sleep and he still had another shift to go. How he need sleep.
"Hn.. Put it in the fridge."
"They said it's better to eat it fresh at the day it was made."
"I don't like sweets."
Fuji bit inside of his cheek to prevent him from shouting. It's fine, no problem. It's okay. This is Tezuka, what do you expect? He sighed. "Okay. I will put it in the fridge. Eat it whenever you want to."
"Hn.."
From that time on, Tezuka always demanded him to do many things although some of them were ridiculous. Asking Fuji to but a magazine and read it aloud, closing the window and curtain because it was too bright, how could he know that it was bright? He was blind! For god's sake!
Fuji always checked on his phone before he went bed everyday and always left a voice message to Yukimura after that. His sounded more depressed and desperate each day passed.
"Mou! Darn it!" Fuji crashed into his bed and threw his phone across his bed late night after his night shift.
"Sei-chan, can't you go back now? He is a devil. I don't know why you can stay in a relationship with him." Fuji grumbled. He turned off the lamp and went to sleep.
It had been five days and he hadn't heard any news from his cousin.
I know my writing is bad but I'll try to improve. Please let me know how you feel about this chapter or the story overall. Thank you! ;-)