Chapter 65: Trouble

When Peeta returns to the apartment, Katniss throws her arms around him. She is so proud of the way he has conducted himself and confronted Caesar Flickerman during his interview. Peeta had always been better at these things, but it must have been difficult for him to face Flickerman again, considering the circumstances of their last meeting.

"I am so proud of you, Peeta" she tells him, with tears in her eyes. Katniss knows what this must have cost him.

Peeta just holds her more tightly. He had maintained his calm demeanour on the stage and meant every word he said, but now the reality of having to confront some of his past demons was taking its toll. Peeta needs some time alone.

"Katniss, I think I need some time on my own…just to clear my head" Peeta tells her.

Katniss tries to understand. Peeta needs to process the experience and he needs to be on his own to do that.

"OK…" she says reluctantly, as she kisses him and leaves him to go back to bed. She had wanted him to share this moment, and his thoughts, with her, but maybe they were not all good thoughts and Peeta, knowing this, wants to protect her from them.

Peeta stays in the living room and watches a replay of his performance on the TV. He feels strangely dissociated from it and is beginning to doubt his own sincerity and the purpose of the Games. The interview with Flickerman has triggered a reaction in Peeta, one which he is only now beginning to feel…a reaction that could lead to more flashbacks. He hasn't felt this way in a long time and decides he needs to leave the apartment until he can sort out the thoughts and feelings which are causing him concern.

Katniss wakes up the early the next morning to discover Peeta is not in the bed beside her. She wonders where he could be and remembers leaving him in the front room the previous night, after he said he needed some time alone. She gets up to look for him and becomes concerned when there is no sign of him in the apartment. Not wanting to disturb anyone else, she quietly throws on a robe and heads out the door to see if he might be somewhere else in the Village. Katniss knew Peeta would find it hard to sleep last night, so she thinks maybe he has gone to visit Haymitch, or one of the other Mentors, who had experienced the ordeal of the interviews with him.

Katniss knocks on Haymitch's door and gets no answer. Finding it unlocked, she turns the handle to peer inside. Peeta is lying on the sofa in the front room fast asleep with his arms crossed over his chest and his shoes still on his feet. He must have been too tired to untie the double knot in his shoelaces, Katniss thinks. She walks across to where he is lying and sits on the floor beside him. Katniss hears his rhythmic breathing and rests her head close to his chest. She wonders what he has been thinking, why he felt the need to come here and not to their bed last night.

Peeta begins to stir.

"Katniss?" he recognizes her presence immediately.

"Hmm" she responds.

"What are you doing here…?" Peeta asks her.

"I came to find you" Katniss says.

Peeta knows Katniss will always come to find him. Since that first time, during their first Games… Katniss had never been willing to leave him. She still wasn't.

"I couldn't sleep. I thought Haymitch might be glad of some company, too" Peeta says.

"And was he?" asks Katniss.

"He just cursed at me for denying him any alcohol and I cursed myself as well. I could have used a drink last night…" Peeta tells her.

"Are you OK?" Katniss asks him with concern.

"I felt some of those old feelings after my interview with Flickerman last night…you know, the negative ones about the Rebellion and all that" he says.

Katniss knows he means her. Peeta had been on the edge of a flashback and had left the apartment because he knew what that could mean.

"Peeta…"

He doesn't let Katniss finish.

"Katniss. I don't want to hurt you again. I never meant to hurt you before. I need you to trust me when I tell you that I can sense when the flashbacks are about to happen and the best thing I can do is leave. It's not about you, it's not even about me. It's about what the Capitol did and last night was a reminder of that for me. They will never own me again, but unfortunately, they still own some of my thoughts and only I can deal with that. That's something I have to do alone, without your help".

Katniss knows that Peeta needs to fight his Capitol demons, but she will never leave him to fight them alone. She is his constant reminder that the Capitol don't own him and he belongs to her now. Katniss reassures Peeta.

"Peeta, I am never going to leave you to fight on your own. I wouldn't do it in the Arena during the first Games and I won't do it now. This is what you and I do, we protect each other…keep each other alive. I understand you don't want to hurt me, and you will do what you need to so that doesn't happen, but I will always come looking for you. I need you to stay with me…"

"Always" Peeta replies, as he strokes her long dark hair and they rest against one another on the sofa.

Neither of them want to go back to the dark days of Peeta's hijacking. Katniss will need to be vigilant. She hopes it is just a "wrinkle" as a result of all the pressure they have been under. Right now, Katniss wishes there was another way to bring Snow's game to an end.

Corionalus Snow has gathered his advisers for a meeting. It has been an arduous task to bring them together while making every effort not to reveal his hiding place. So far, the Rebels had maintained their silence, but the broadcast of Flickerman's interviews last night was beginning to wear his supporter's patience thin. Twice now Snow's granddaughter had been paraded before the people in the traitor's flag. This time Ebony was wearing her hair in one braid over her right shoulder, just as she had done once before when she had been enamoured with Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire. He would kill her himself before he would let the Rebels humiliate her, or him, any further. They gave her a number…one. How many people knew this was his granddaughter? It was hard to know. Flickerman didn't give any indication, but he obviously had a lot on his mind, not least another interview with one of the original "star crossed lovers", Peeta Mellark. The romance between Peeta and Katniss Everdeen had played out after all…to what will be its bitter end, thinks Snow. Right now, he needs to work out how he can turn all this to his advantage.

"You all saw the broadcast last night with the traitors and our children" says Snow, more of a statement than a question.

"Yes" the members of the group reply.

"This cannot be allowed to go on. They are humiliating our children and undermining our cause".

"Actually, some of the Loyalists are hardening their stance against the new Government with these latest developments. They are calling them "hypocrites"" one of the advisers says.

"Hypocrites…? I like that. What an excellent understanding" says Snow.

He mulls this over for a moment and then says

"That is how we will present them. As hypocrites. And we will present our own people as Loyalists. That will get the traitors thinking about how "just" their cause is…when their original complaint was how "unjust" their treatment by the Capitol was" says Snow.

"President Snow, I think we need to begin a new propaganda campaign. One that will highlight these things and bring them to the people's attention, not just our own people. Who knows? Perhaps we can engineer another uprising..." another adviser remarks.

"Hmm" Snow replies, nodding. The Capitol were always masters of propaganda and it was time to match theirs to Paylor's. The new Government had not won all the people over and, while these Games may unify them for now, Snow was going to find a way to break into their ironclad version of justice.