"Don't go."

Fuji gasped quietly by Tezuka's voice. He was surprised to know that Tezuka didn't sleep.

Did I say something suspicious just now? Am I revealed? He grabbed the doorknob tightly and wanted to flee away from the scene. It was easy for him to flee in this condition. He just need to turn the doorknob and run away. He bit his lip while contemplating what to do.

"Yuki? Are you there?" Tezuka's hand reached out into the nothingness in front of him. He scooted from his bed and put his feet on the floor, the coldness of the floor made him winced.

Fuji watched in horror at Tezuka's action. He was torned between fight or flee. He wanted to talk but he didn't know whether Tezuka would forgive him or not. On the other hand, he wanted to go away but he knew he wouldn't be able to leave the man alone in his despair.

Fuji looked at the doorknob one more time and he decided to flee. He hadn't have a resolve to talk to the man. He might, someday. He turned the knob and opened the door when suddenly he heard a crash behind him.

Tezuka was kneeled on his knees and hissing indistinct words. Fuji's instinct made him ran next to Tezuka. "Are you okay? Do you hurt somewhere?"

Tezuka gripped on Fuji's shoulders and nodded. "I'm okay. Just surprised. I don't know that there is a chair in front of me."

Fuji blushed by Tezuka's words, "I'm sorry, it's my fault. I didn't put it back where its supposed to be placed. Here, let's move back to your bed. Carefully." He guided Tezuka back to his bed and help him to sat on it.

"I'll call the doctor and ask them to check your condition. Wait for a moment, okay?" Fuji tried to pry away Tezuka's hands from his arms in order to call the doctor.

Tezuka tightened his grip. "No. I'm okay. It's not a big deal."

"But you fell down just now."

"I know. It's me who fell down and I told you I'm okay."

"Tezuka, don't be unreasonable. If something happens to you, it's my responsibility too, got it?"

"Then, let them be."

Fuji chuckled by Tezuka's childish behavior. "No, I can't. So, release me at this moment. The doctor need to make sure you are okay. Please?" he said in a softer voice.

"No. Don't. There is something more important to do than that. I don't need doctor, I need to talk to you."

Seeing no other choice Fuji relented, "Alright here's the deal, I make sure that you are alright then we can talk, okay?"

Tezuka thought for a moment and then nodded his agreement.

"So, can you release me now?"

Tezuka tilted his head, "Can you promise that you won't run away?"

As if I can, Fuji thought. "Sure."

Tezuka let him go and Fuji then bent to check his feet. He pressed on several places while asking Tezuka how he felt. The man just grunted that he was fine.

After made sure that there wasn't any lump or bruise Fuji let Tezuka's feet go and stood in front of him. "It looks like fine for me but for precautions please notify the nurse about it tomorrow, okay?"

Tezuka agreed easily, "Hn.." too easy which made Fuji noted to tell the nurse himself before going home later.

"Well, if that's all, I think you should go back to sle— oh!" suddenly Tezuka's hand reached out to Fuji's and dragged him right in front of Tezuka.

"You promised to talk." He gazed upward to Fuji.

Darn, it didn't work. "O...Okay. What do you want to talk about? Do you need me to bring you something, tomorrow?"

"No, it's not. I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for that incident. What I did were wrong, I shouldn't ask you to fulfill my ridiculous demands. I shouldn't leave my room without any supervision, well, I shouldn't leave at all."

"No, no.. I can understand how you feel. Sometimes you just need a 'me time'. It's difficult to get it here. It's my fault actually, I didn't listen to you and I was too busy with my own problems. I mustn't yell at you like a banshee. I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong. If I were in your position, yelling would be the last thing I did. I would do worse than that."

"I doubt it. It alright, it's me who need to apologize. Please forgive me."

"You are right." Tezuka bowed now.

"Of course! Don't worry, I won't do it anymore and I hope you can say what you need. I'll try to accommodate it as long as I can."

"No, what I want to say that you are right, I am just too coward to reach out people's hand. I can't see it when they want to help me. I am too proud of myself and it... isn't right. Please forgive me." He sighed deeply.

Fuji brought one of his hands which still in Tezuka's and put it on Tezuka's other hand. He was a little bit clumsy but the situation wasn't awkward at all. Fuji felt comfortable and peaceful in this moment, he was very happy that Tezuka wanted to share his problem with him. "It's okay. I did you wrong, too. So, forgive me?"

"Hn... As long as you forgive me, too."

Fuji chuckled, "Okay, so.. we are even now?"

"Aa.."

"I talked to them." Tezuka cut the silence while casting his head downward and Fuji could see the top of his head.

"Who?"

"My parents. It's been a long time since last I call my mother and father. They always been busy but what you said last time opened my eyes."

"I see."

"They have always been busy since I was a little kid. I never had a family vacation, I didn't know and understand how my classmates' nervousness when their parents were attending the visiting class time, I don't know the joyous feeling of celebrating something; birthday, new year, Christmas. I have never knew how to share something and stand next to someone. I'm glad that I still have my grandfather, Genichirou too sometimes. It's great for him to have a big family. "

Tezuka stopped and took a long breath. "I never knew the feeling called loved. I don't have friends, I don't have a real family. I have.. I have nothing. It makes me become a bitter and narrow-minded person. I despise and can't believe in people. What I know is, people will forget and left you behind someday. I.."

Fuji felt his heart stabbed. He didn't know how much Tezuka suffered this long time. He told Fuji his lonely life and his effort to gain people affection, especially his mother and father. His parents married just because of obligation. They didn't love each other, they barely like each other and they married because their parents said so. When Tezuka born, his parents thought they had finished their duty in giving the Tezuka's family a heir and took the first opportunity to run out of the hellish life, leaving little Tezuka with his one and only grandfather. Tezuka's life had never been the same anymore.

"That day, when you scolded me. You let me know that.. That I.. That I am a bitter man who blames everything to whoever I meet. They don't deserve my bad treatments and I deserve to be forgotten. I am sure you will forget about me too, one day." He let out a big sigh as if he let out all of his worries and burdens which had stayed in his heart for long time.

Fuji held back his sobs and cleared his throat before answered, "No.. No.. You are not. You aren't pitiful." He wanted to cradled this man in his arms and protected him from the dangers, but he couldn't. He blinked away the tears, "You are the greatest and bravest man I have ever met. I'm sorry for saying those stupid things to you. I hurt you by saying that."

Tezuka shook his head, "I called them after you gone. I told them how I felt. I vented out all of my problems and questions to them and we decided to start over again, my mother wants to try for a long time ago but she is afraid that my father won't accept her. She said she tried to be a better wife but my father didn't respond it."

Tezuka chuckled, "And you know what.."

"What?" Fuji asked while caressing Tezuka's head.

"My father always thinks that my mother despise him for marrying into a conservative family and making her to forget about her dream, so he took more works from his office to decrease their time together. He is very happy that my mother finally can reach her dream although he is lonely without her, just like me. My father likes my mother more than I have imagined but the men from Tezuka's household don't know how to express their love, they are too awkward and shy so in the end they fail to show their love."

"Are you awkward and clumsy, too?" Fuji asked with a smile.

"Aa.. I'm a Tezuka, aren't I?"

Fuji wiped away his tears, "Yes, yes you are."

"They are going to talk about it and this time I am sure that everything will be okay. Thank you for helping me, Yuki." Tezuka squeezed Fuji's right hand.

"It's not a big deal and I'm happy that you can find the real you."

"Hn.. So do I. I can feel it, things are better now, all thanks to you. I won't do the same mistake anymore."

"That's Tezuka for you." Fuji chuckled yet his tears didn't stop flowing. He was truly happy that Tezuka passed the dark part of his life and now running toward the light.

Suddenly Tezuka's hand touched his cheek. "Are these tears?"

"They clearly aren't snots if they flow from the eyes." Fuji tried to be sarcastic but failed poorly, he then wiped it away quickly.

"Why? Is this my doing? I'm sorry if that so, I just want to share my thoughts and feelings to you. You can forget them if they disturb your so much." Tezuka said in his serious tone. He wiped the tears and Fuji didn't know how he did it without his seeing ability.

"Why aren't you crying? I don't know how you keep all of these inside your heart. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help."

"You couldn't be there, it was a long time ago, okay?" Tezuka pulled Fuji's hand till Fuji stood between his tights, Fuji was too absorbed in his speech and didn't realize how close they were at that moment. Tezuka cradled Fuji's face carefully and caressed his cheeks by his thumbs as if he was touching something precious and fragile. "Yet, I want to help. To be right beside you and said that everything would be okay. That there are people who love you from the bottom of their heart. To tell you that it's okay to believe."

"And you are cry for my part, too? Why?" Tezuka said softly, his hands didn't stop caressing Fuji.

Fuji grumbled, "Yes, yes, you stubborn man and I don't know why. I just.. It just happened. I.. I think you are amazing and wonderful to be able to move forward. That's why you shouldn't say those useless things anymore, got it?" Fuji poked Tezuka on his shoulder, "You are not pitiful." He poked Tezuka in each word he said. "I won't allow you to say something so bad about yourself, you know the best that you are—"

Fuji didn't have the chance to finish his sentences since Tezuka kissed him. Tezuka kissed him! Not on his cheeks or forehead but right on his lips. The lips which he never used to kiss anyone in years long.

Tezuka kissed him. That was all he thought for a moment. Why? Why? Why?

Fuji didn't give the right response which Tezuka needed so the taller man pulled Fuji into his arms and locked them so Fuji had to cling into his embrace. Fuji felt small bites on his lips and he moaned. Tezuka used his tongue to dull the pain and start to caress inner part of Fuji's sweet mouth. Tezuka didn't smell as if he had spent all his time in the hospital, he didn't smell like disinfectant or sickness, he smelled like... he didn't know, rich mixture of spiciness, cedar and sandalwood. Fuji's succumbed to Tezuka, he felt different in Tezuka's arms; he could give and also get attention as much as he wanted to and for the first time he felt no fear, he felt really comfortable and safe in Tezuka's arm. He felt loved. He placed his hands on Tezuka's shoulder and slowly moved one of his hand to Tezuka's nape, he didn't stop until he felt Tezuka's smooth hair in his hand. It was heaven.

Tezuka tightened his arms and grunted when he felt Fuji's response finally. He didn't waste time to deepened their kisses and smiled when he felt the man in his arms gasped.

"Yuki.. My sweet Yuki.." Tezuka whispered lowly.

Fuji surprised by the name which Tezuka said. He realized what he did just now. He just kissed his cousin's boyfriend moreover he enjoyed it. Tezuka thought he was Sei-chan and there was no Fuji in his head, it was Sei-chan. It wasn't Fuji's and would never been him. All Tezuka did were for his cousin not him. Fuji inhaled sharply and stepped back from Tezuka's arms. "Stop.."

Tezuka coughed, "Sorry. I did it unconsciously."

Fuji swore that he could see a blush on Tezuka's cheeks. If Tezuka did it for him, he would die there and then, but again it wasn't for him. Not Fuji.

Tezuka's kiss.

Tezuka's smile.

Tezuka's touch.

Tezuka's love.

It wasn't for him. Not his to take, not his to receive.

"I think we should stop this here, you need to sleep." Fuji stepped aside but Tezuka wouldn't let him.

"Are you angry? Forgive me." He pleaded.

Fuji exhaled, "No, I'm not, just surprised."

"Then, can I get another?" Tezuka asked while caressing Fuji's palm.

Fuji hesitated. He shouldn't do it, Tezuka wasn't his to be kissed. Tezuka was his cousin's boyfriend! He mustn't!

"Let's do it another time, ne? I don't think it's wise to do it now." Fuji said nervously.

"Why? Because I'm not appealing enough?"

Tezuka must be blind to say that he wasn't appealing. Oh, right. He was blind although it was just temporary. Fuji bit inside of his cheek to prevent him from answering Tezuka. He had to stop himself from touching and caressing Tezuka whenever he met this man. Everytime Tezuka was next to him he had to control his heartbeat and his blush. Fuji didn't dare to analyze these symptoms further since deep down his heart he knew what it was. He just couldn't because Tezuka wasn't his.

"I think you need sleep more than this. So.."

"I miss you." Tezuka said straightforwardly.

"I.." Fuji choked.

"For days, I miss you. I always look forward to seeing you again. I love spending time with you, Yuki."

The Tezuka in front of him looked like a small boy who met Santa for the first time. "Me, too." finally Fuji said, slowly. "But this is the time to sleep, ne? I have to catch the last train."

"What time is it now?"

"A little past ten."

"Aa.. You should go home. I'm sorry for holding you up." He looked defeated.

"I promise to come back, ne?" Fuji felt he needed to pressed that he would never leave, at least until Yukimura back, since Tezuka still bothered by the being alone issue.

"... Can you promise one thing for me?"

"As long as it is still in my capabilities." Fuji helped Tezuka to lay down on his bed. He tucked Tezuka just like a mother tucked her children to sleep. Fuji took a liberty to caressed Tezuka's head and painted his face in his head, it was okay, he thought. He did it as Yukimura, he thought. No, he knew it all were lies. He did it as a keepsake which he could replay everytime he missed Tezuka.

"Please, don't ever leave me again, Yuki." Fuji's hand stopped moving.

"... Okay. Yukimura Seiichi should be with you as long as Tezuka needs him." It wasn't a lie, Sei-chan would be back, Fuji would make sure that Sei-chan would never leave Tezuka again.

Even if he had to make another debt to his cousin, even if he had to use his lifetime to pay it, even if Tezuka didn't know what happened. He would take all of these with him until his death, as long as Tezuka was happy.

"Good night." Fuji whispered.

###

"Tezuka! I heard it!" Fuji smiled widely when he visited Tezuka three days later.

"And that is about?"

"Doctor will open your bandage on Monday!" Fuji sat on Tezuka's bed with a smile followed by giggles.

Since that night his relationship with Tezuka changed drastically. Tezuka was more open to him and they shared many favorite things which he never know they had. Whenever Fuji came they spent all the time talking, bickering and even laughing about smallest things they found funny although people didn't think so. Their conversation flew smoothly as if they had known each other for long time, as if it was their routine, as if... as if Fuji was Tezuka's boyfriend.

Of course Fuji knew it better, he was nobody to Tezuka but a mere swindler but he would cherish these moments as long as he could so when Sei-chan came back he would back off from the stage and dissappearing into the shades altogether.

"Hn.. So you know."

"Yes, I passed the front desk and the nurse told me about it! We are delighted that you are alright now!"

Fuji smiled from ear to ear but he didn't see the same thing on Tezuka's face. "What's up? Don't you feel excited too?" He touched Tezuka's hand.

"Hn.. I want to be the person who tell you about it, though." Tezuka put Fuji's hand in his palm and squeezed it lightly.

Fuji was amused, Tezuka told him how he felt. "Well, I can pretend that I don't know about it yet and you can tell me again from the start." He smiled.

Tezuka gave him a small smile, it was just a small crack but Fuji saw it.

"The doctor said they will open my bandage on Monday and if there is nothing wrong, I will be discharged on Wednesday."

That was a new information. "So fast?"

"Aa.. I just need to recover my eyes, basically. My staying in hospital is because of the fatigue."

"I see. I think half of this incident was happened because of your fatigue. You have to pay attention to your health too, Tezuka."

"Aa.. I let my guard down. I won't do it again next time."

"That's good! I'm looking forward to see your face on the news about your winnings!"

"When I am discharged, will you like to go on a date with me, Yuki?" Tezuka asked hesitantly after a while.

Fuji almost shouted a yes to him but he stopped it right before he opened his mouth. Tezuka wasn't asking Fuji to go a date with him but to Yukimura Seiichi. Fuji didn't know how to answer, he couldn't say that he doesn't want to but he didn't want to hurt Tezuka yet this invitation was not to Fuji. He wanted to say yes as Yukimura but he knew the invitation was an intimate one from one man to his lover moreover..

Moreover, Fuji wouldn't be there to share the date with Tezuka. He had only a little time to spend with Tezuka, his time was limited whether he liked it or not. When Tezuka's bandage was opened and Tezuka could see again, he would dissappear just like the darkness which washed away by the light. Fuji didn't want it. He wanted to spend more time with Tezuka but he mustn't be selfish.

Hearing no response from Fuji, Tezuka added to convince the man, "Well, we can do it as double celebration, as my discharging one and my birthday, too."

This rose Fuji's attention. "Your birthday?"

"Aa.."

"When is it?"

"This Sunday."

"The day after tomorrow, ne? Oh! What about we celebrate it first? It's not right not to celebrate it on the day. Not everyone can celebrate his birthday every year, you know. You have to be grateful for it."

Tezuka nodded, "If you say so."

Fuji smiled, at least he could celebrate Tezuka's birthday together before parting away from the taller man.

They spent two days later to argue what to do on Tezuka's birthday. Fuji gave him tons of ideas but Tezuka refused it politely.

"But.. It will be fun to spend it with the children, ne?" Fuji pouted.

"I don't used to be with children. It will be awkward and I think children are afraid of me, too."

Fuji chuckled by Tezuka's reasons. He was indeed quite frightening for people who didn't know him. "Okay, if you said so."

Fuji put his head on the pillow next to Tezuka. He was sleeping next to the athlete to be exact. Tezuka asked, well, commanded him to stay close to him, "The bed is practically too big for two big men" he said and Fuji was too tired to protest.

He yawned for the nth time that evening. He had a night shift on the night before and was too excited about Tezuka's birthday so he didn't have enough sleep. The sleep deprived effects were starting to outbid him.

"Sleepy?" Tezuka asked while caressing his head.

"Mmhmm.. Just tired. I think I will just—"

"Sleep." Tezuka commanded.

"But.."

"Sleep. It's dangerous to return home in your condition. A small nap will help. I'll wake you up before the last train."

"And you know about the time because..." Fuji let his sentence unfinished.

"I just know. Believe me. Just sleep." Tezuka continued caressing Fuji smooth and silky hair.

Fuji felt a big brick were hung on his eyes and Tezuka's act didn't help him to stay awake either. He finally surrendered, "Okay.. Let me.. -yawn- Sleep.. for a while. I'm sorry for bothering.. you.."

Fuji's heavy and slow breath were heard not long after. He was in his deep slumber sleep already. Tezuka continued caressing and petting Fuji's hair then his cheek, jaw and little ear. He didn't stop for a long time.

"You never bothered me, Yuki and never will be." Tezuka shifted lower until he was right beside Fuji and threw his arms around Fuji before himself succumbed to his sleepiness.

Disclaimer: I own nnothing. If only I can have them. Sigh..

That's is! Omg! It's Tezuka and Fuji kissy kissy there. I love this chapter. Lol. Did you enjoy it too? Because I truly did. I can imagine how they spend their day together. Do you think Tezuka know or didn't know about Fuji?

Ps

Thanks for my lovely reviewers, supremekikay24-san, Fujiyuki-san, bebekanon-san, tightpans-san, Snowy princess white-san Youki minako-san,mariahmaya-san and all my readers. I love reading your reviews whenever I lost my muse. You all are muse! Thanks! Have a nice day!