Hit there, it's a nice day to meet you again. I finished this chapter earlier than my usual schedule. Are you happy? Show it to me, please? Lol. I wrote faster now. Don't blame me for my uncorrected grammar, my English is rotten already. Lol. I read your reviews and I know how you feel about slowly updated chapter. Sorry. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Thanks for my lovely reviewers, supremekikay24-san, Fujiyuki-san, bebekanon-san, tightpans-san, Snowy princess white-san Youki minako-san,mariahmaya-san and all my readers. I am happy that I can meet your expectations. #maybe# Also thanks to wirbelwind-san and guest-san, I am very happy about your long and thoughtful review. Please bear with me, Ne?
"Happy birthday!" Fuji chirped.
"Thank you." Tezuka said softly.
"Actually, I bring you a present. Do you want me to open it now or later?"
"Later." Fuji nodded hearing Tezuka's answer.
"Okay... Well, what do you want to do in your birthday? I may not be a Santa Claus but I'll try my best to grant it for you."
"I don't have any."
"Really?... Really? Really? Really?" Fuji sang the last past.
Tezuka chuckled by Fuji's antics. He thought for a moment, "Actually, I have one."
"Tell me, then!"
###
The weather was great. It wasn't too chilling and the park wasn't really crowded, too. They sat on the park's bench to enjoy the sceneries, well, it was only Fuji who could see the scenery but let's pretend that Tezuka did so, too.
"The leaves turned to orange and red now. It's pretty."
"Hn.."
"Cold?" Fuji asked while straightening Tezuka's scarf. Tezuka's wish was going to the park right then and there. Fuji agreed, he asked, begged and pleaded the head nurse together with the doctor to gave them a permission. The nurse and doctor got tired of him and finally let him do as he wish. They had got a permission to go to the park in condition that Fuji accompanied him and made sure that Tezuka didn't do anything harm his health.
"No, I used to train in more extreme weather."
"Really?" Fuji sounded amused. He smiled by his own words, it seemed that he only replayed a confirmation question that day.
Tezuka folded his arms in front of his chest, "Hn.. The extreme condition can increase our endurance and strength."
"Well, as long as we don't do it excessively." Fuji teased.
"Aa.." Tezuka flushed.
They talked more about the park, Fuji continued describing the park to Tezuka and the latter man seemed satisfied with Fuji's explanation. He asked only when Fuji stopped talking.
A small voice called,"Onii-chan, good afternoon!" he waved his healthy hand to Fuji.
"Ah, Keiichi! Good afternoon!" Fuji waved back to the boy.
"What are you doing here, nii-chan?" He asked when he arrived in front of them using his electronic wheelchair, the nurse wasn't far behind him.
"I'm playing with my friend here." Fuji squatted down in front of the boy.
"You aren't."
"Is that so? Why?"
"Because you don't play the see-saw or the bar over there, you even don't play the sand over there." He pointed out his reasons.
"That's right, ne.. Sometimes we just need to sit and enjoy the view to play, don't we?" Fuji looked at the nurse.
She smiled "Yes."
The boy didn't put his interest in them, "Who is he, nii-chan? Is he hurt? Did someone do bad things to him, too?" He looked at Tezuka with his eyes as big as saucer, the boy was curious yet afraid.
"No, no. It's not like that, Keiichi. He got an accident days ago and doctor did that to keep his eyes save. And you know what,, tomorrow the doctor will open his bandage so he will be as good as before again. Isn't it wonderful?"
"Yes, I'm happy to hear that." His sentence didn't fit his face.
"So you don't have to worry because I'm sure the doctor will open this thing soon, too." Fuji touched Keiichi's the plaster cast.
"You think so?" Keiichi's eyes blinked in anticipation.
"Yes. I never lie to you, ne?"
"Hai, that day you told me that the help was on their way and I didn't have to wait long and then they arrived quickly! Thanks again, Onii-chan!"
"You are welcome!" He patted the boy's head.
The nurse took out her phone and squeezed Keiichi's shoulder softly. "We have to go. It's your rehabilitation time."
"Okay. Can I come here again tomorrow?" He pleaded.
"If you do well in your rehabilitation today then I'll take you back here tomorrow." she assured him.
"Really? Alright, let's go! I will do my best today!"
They left Fuji and Tezuka alone in the park. It became silent again after the boy's departure.
"Is that the boy last time you talked about?"
"Yes, he is getting better now. The injuries aren't as bad as before. They said it's a good thing."
"Hn.. Have they caught the suspect?"
"Yes, last week. He was found near the abandoned building, hiding himself." Fuji sighed. "It's really a fortune that the police could catch him fast. There are some cases which the culprits haven't been caught yet."
Just like that man.
"The police work hard, too."
"Yes, I know. The condition is just unsettling sometimes."
"Hn.."
"Let's forget about it, I want to ask you something, instead." Fuji said.
"Sure." Tezuka tilted his head toward Fuji.
"Are you sure you just want to spend your birthday here? You are finally getting better and tomorrow will be your great day, don't you want to spend it with a bigger crowd? We can invite your friends and family to celebrate it at the restaurant nearby." Fuji suggested.
Tezuka unbending his arms and took Fuji's hand into his. "No, I don't. I want to spend it with a special one rather than being in a big crowd. I appreciate silence more." He squeezed Fuji's hand.
Fuji tried not to blush. He tried.
He cleared his throat, "Okay. Just tell me what to do if you need something."
Tezuka smiled at him and Fuji could feel his breath stopped and his cheeks flushed. Oh, why does this man have to be so enticing? Why do I have to grow unnecessary feeling to him?
Why does he have to be Sei-chan's boyfriend?
"One of my favorite writer, Albert Camus had said Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. I think I know what he meant now. The leaves turned red and they look like flowers to me." Fuji stretched out his free hand as if he could grasped the color into his hand.
"The autumn reminds me to my grandfather. He liked to take me go hiking whenever autumn came. We went fishing, then camping and learned about nature. He taught me more than my own parents could. John Muir, the favorite writer of my grandfather once said that The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness. My grandfather told me how we could learn from the forest. They teach us what our society can't. I think I learned more there."
Tezuka used past tense to tell him about his grandfather so Fuji knew that his grandfather was no longer there with him.
"Do you miss him?"
Tezuka thought for a long time, "Every minute. He meant everything to me. Without him, I am nothing. Without him, I'll be never been here. Sometimes... Sometimes when I miss him badly, I'll just remember his joke taken from John Muir too, The mountains are calling and I must go. That makes me feel better, I know he loved nature more than anyone."
"I think you are wrong." Fuji whispered, he gazed to the trees.
Fuji continued when Tezuka didn't respond. "I think... he loved his grandson more than anyone. He loved to share his love about nature to you, he loved to share his time with you and he loved to know that there is still someone who will continue his love to nature. Don't you think so?"
Tezuka's sharp breath told him that he was right. Fuji was glad that Tezuka shared his history and family to him willingly. He was glad that even if just a little, he could help Tezuka. Fuji took both of Tezuka's hand into his hands. Tezuka's hand were colder than his.
He squeezed and warmed it. He hoped he could lifted Tezuka's burdens even if just a little, from the tip of his fingers. No, he hoped that he could help Tezuka more.
"Thank you, Yuki. You make me realize many things that I have never been thought before. You change my perspective and my horizon. I owe you a lot."
"Then can I change you into a botanist, too?" Fuji teased.
"I'm afraid you can't." He answered seriously but the tip of his lips were curved.
Fuji thought Tezuka's smile was the best. He could change Fuji's bad mood only by smiling to him. Fuji could spend all day looking at Tezuka and never get bored of it. He was a wide-minded man, he knew many things which Fuji didn't. Fuji remembered how Tezuka would blushed and coughed when he felt embarrassed or happy. They had same taste in literature and art. He was patient and well-respected yet full of spirit. He didn't know how to surrender and tried his best in his life. Fuji would need a day long to note down Tezuka's good quality.
The bad things happened in Tezuka's life didn't make Tezuka's light dimmer, on the contrary, that made Tezuka became more alive, stronger and full of pride. There was nothing Tezuka feared about. Fuji like all of them. Fuji liked..loved Tezuka.
Oh, no. He said it or rather thought about it.
Oh, no. He didn't. He didn't like Tezuka. He liked Tezuka but not like like Tezuka. He liked Tezuka just so so, so it wasn't right if we said that he liked Tezuka. Why would he like Tezuka anyway? Why did he assume so? He didn't like Tezuka just like he didn't like wasabi. Oh, hell. He did like..love Tezuka.
He looked upon Tezuka and saw Tezuka's serene face. He wanted all of Tezuka for himself. Everytime he was with Tezuka he felt happy, content and...protected.
"Yuki, do you know the name of.." Tezuka turned into Fuji's direction only to meet Fuji's warm and pliant lips.
Fuji surprised by his own action and pulled away from Tezuka quickly. "I.. I'm sorry. I didn't know.. Er, sorry. I shouldn't.. I think we should go back now." He stammered.
Tezuka's answer was another kiss to the younger man which he received with a blush. The kiss was sweet and full of promises, but sadly they weren't meant to be his and Fuji could hear his heart start shattering and it was unrecoverable anymore.
###
"Finally, home sweet home!" Fuji sighed when he sat down on the chair which he already used for days since his visiting.
"It's not a home." Tezuka said as matter of fact.
"I know, it's just a figure of speech." He chuckled.
"I see." Tezuka put away his scarf and coat then he sat on his bed.
"That's right! I have a present for you! Wait here!" He jumped from his chair.
"I can't move anywhere, anyway."
"Uh.. Yeah. I forgot. Wait, please?" Fuji dissappeared to the next room.
"Hold it carefully, okay?" Fuji handed over his present when he came back.
"Is it going to bite?" Tezuka asked hesitantly.
"Is it going to.." Fuji repeated Tezuka's question, confused. When the question penetrated his brain, he chuckled, "No, it's not. It's a plant. It's a cactus, actually. It's a baby cactus but has thorns nonetheless." Fuji explained
"Hn.. Thank you."
"I raise it myself, it's one of my favorite."
Tezuka caressed the pot, "It must be a lovely plant."
Fuji blinked in a happiness, "You think so?"
"Hn.."
Fuji sat back to his chair. "Tomorrow will be a big day, ne? How do you feel? Anxious? Nervous? Worry?"
"It's more like excited and nervous. The doctor told me that everything will be fine but I can't get rid the bad thoughts in my mind."
Fuji took Tezuka's hand again, he couldn't get satisfied with touching the man. "Don't worry, I'm sure everything will be okay just like the doctor said before. When everything becomes alright then we can laugh about this topic, ne?"
"Yes. ... Will you be here tomorrow?"
Would he? Fuji doubted it. He didn't have the right to stand and stay right next to Tezuka.
"I.. Do you need me here?"
"Do you need to ask?" Tezuka beat him quickly.
Fuji wanted to be with Tezuka, so badly. He wanted to be Tezuka as long as Tezuka need him. He still wanted to learn many things about Tezuka, his little secrets, his happy moments in his life, the embarrassing moments, too. He didn't want to leave. Suddenly, Fuji felt a rush to tell all of the secrets, Sei-chan's plan, his name and his identity.
He would say it now. "Tezuka.. I.."
"Hn?"
"I.. Do you think tomorrow will be a sunny day?"
Or not.
"I think it will be sunny. I prefer sunny day."
They talked more about plants and Fuji was glad because Tezuka didn't try to talk about the incident at the park. He hadn't prepared his heart yet.
"Do you want drink?"
"If it doesn't trouble you." Tezuka answered politely.
"It doesn't. Wait a moment, okay?" Fuji searched for vending machines, he was sure he saw one nearby.
He found one on the sixth floor. He pushed money into the machine and choose the drinks, green tea for Tezuka and dark chocolate for himself. He waited for the drink to be served while thinking about his situation at this moment.
He should have said it just now. It was the best timing!
But he didn't do it.
Will it be alright if I tell him the truth? Can I say it? What about Sei-chan?
He still had the next day, the day when Tezuka would open his bandage. He would be sad if Sei-chan wasn't there for him. Sei-chan wouldn't be there but Fuji would.
Fuji made up his mind that he would come the next day to accompany Tezuka and he would explain everything to the man. He was sure that Tezuka would be mad and despise him but he would stay. He would explain and ask for forgiveness from Tezuka. He wouldn't hope to be someone special to Tezuka, it was Sei-chan's place, so that would be impossible. Fuji just need to be Tezuka's friend, a friend who he could talk and share his thoughts with.
Yes, that would be wonderful.
He walked back to Tezuka's room with the drinks.
"I'm back. Here is your drink."
"Thank you." Tezuka took the drink.
"Careful, it's still hot." Fuji said.
Tezuka had changed into his hospital's clothes and sat on his bed, Fuji sat down on the chair and sipped his drink. The cactus stood on the cupboard proudly.
The silence didn't stay long, a doctor and nurse came into Tezuka's room and checked his condition. "We need to do some tests before the schedule tomorrow." The doctor explained after a small check up.
"I see." Fuji answered from the end of Tezuka's bed.
They ushered Tezuka into a wheelchair to bring him to the examination room.
"Wait. Yuki?" Tezuka turned back to him.
Fuji walked next to Tezuka and took his hand. "Yes?" Tezuka felt more assured when Fuji did this.
"Will you be here tomorrow?"
"I.. Yes, I think so, yes."
"That's good. Good." Tezuka relieved.
"I'll go back home now and come back early in the morning tomorrow, okay? Goodnight."
"Okay. Goodnight."
They parted away, Fuji walked to the elevator while Tezuka was brought to the laboratory. Fuji did look forward to meet Tezuka in his real identity.
###
"Hello, Syuu-kun?"
"Ah, hello.. Sei-chan."
"Thank God I finally can reach you. I have tried to call you all day long. Where are you?"
"I turned it off accidentally. I'm hanging out with my friends now when I realized that my phone isn't working as usual."
"Is that so?"
"Yes, how are you Sei-chan? Have you got your test result?"
"Yes, I received it yesterday. It was neither too good nor bad. I have to take medicine regularly and do some medical check up, too. But it's okay, I think."
"Really? It must be tough for you, Sei-chan. I hope you can get well soon."
"Yes, I do hope so. Actually.. I want to tell you something." Sei-chan continued.
Fuji didn't know how but he kinda knew what Sei-chan would say and he really didn't want to face it.
"I'll be on my way back tomorrow morning."
He knew it.
"Is that so?" Fuji couldn't cover his disappointment.
"Yes, isn't it great? I know I am falling back from my own schedule but I assure you that everything is fine now."
"Yes, I can see that." Fuji said weakly.
"What's it, Syuu-kun?" Yukimura asked when he heard Fuji's lifeless voice.
"Nothing." It's just I lost my place in Tezuka's life when I haven't entered it yet. He would never be known about me if Sei-chan is back now. I lost the war even before I even start it. "I think I am just tired."
"Rest assured. I'll handle the rest. I'll treat you something delicious as a gratitude. What do you think?" He tried to cheer Fuji up.
His cousin clearly didn't know about his problem and dilemma. "No need, Sei-chan. I don't want it. I'm glad that I can help you." I'm glad that I can meet someone like Tezuka-san.
"Then what do you want?"
Fuji kicked a small pebble near him, "Nothing."
Yukimura wasn't convinced by Fuji's reason. "Something is wrong. What happened, Syuu-kun?"
"Sei-chan.. Tomorrow doctor will open Tezuka-san's bandage on his eyes. If his condition is good enough he can leave the hospital on Wednesday."
"Is that so? That's great. How is he doing?"
"He is fine. Sei-chan, can you please accompany him and cheer him." Fuji said softly.
"Syuu-kun.. About tomorrow, I'll go to the hospital and explain to him that—"
Fuji cut Yukimura's sentence, "Don't tell him about me, please!"
"... May I ask why?"
"I can't answer that. The point is, Tezuka-san had gone through many bad incidents so he need someone to stay next to him, Sei-chan, can you do that?"
"I..." Yukimura was speechless hearing Fuji's reason.
"Please?"
"Okay, I'll try as long as he need me. Is that good enough for you?" Yukimura said in the end.
Yukimura never back off of his words and that's enough for Fuji. "Yes, yes. Thank you."
"We will talk about this soon okay, Syuu-kun?"
"Understand." Fuji hung his phone and walked back to the restaurant but Momoshiro, Kaidoh and Eri-chan walked out.
"Is that from the Emergency Hotline, Fuji-senpai?" Momoshiro asked while walking to his sedan.
"No, it's my cousin."
"Why do you want to know?" Kaidoh who sat next to Fuji asked.
"Just asking, you stupid Viper!" Momoshiro shouted from behind the steering wheel.
"Maa.. Maa.. Can you guys stop bickering for a day?" Fuji asked, irritated while Eri-chan giggled.
"Sorry, Fuji-senpai." They said collectively.
"Are you okay, Fuji-senpai?" this came from Kaidoh.
"Yes, I'm fine just a little... sad. I have to part away from someone who become special for me lately."
"Is he going to study abroad?"
"You may say so. It's sad that we will never meet again."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Momoshiro said while bringing his car through the road.
"Then you should say something to your friend." Eri-chan suggested from the front seat, next to Momoshiro.
Fuji put his head on the glass and looked at the street and cars they passed, "And that is.."
"I don't know; goodbye, it's nice to meet you, see you again one day, don't forget to keep in touch. There are many things to say. Just say what is in your heart now." she kindly explained.
"What is in my heart, huh?"
Momoshiro drove his car to the familiar area which Fuji had become accustomed to. The tall building looked like calling him in darkness. "Why are we back to the hospital?"
"I have a night shift, I told you about it when we were eating just now."
"Really? Sorry, I didn't pay attention to it." Fuji admitted shyly.
"It's okay. You have many things to think about right now." she said goodbye to the men and then left the car.
"Man, it's really hard to work at hospital, no? I can't imagine how to work here."
"At least you are not the patients. It's worse for them." Kaidoh added.
Momoshiro made a u turn and readied to go back then Fuji stopped him, "Wait! I need to do something. You may leave me here, I can go back on my own."
"Is it going to take a long time? If no, I can wait, there is no train anymore at this hour."
Fuji thought for a moment and answered, "No, it won't."
"We will wait then, Fuji-senpai." Momoshiro grinned.
"Okay, thanks. I won't be long. Wait here okay?" with that Fuji went into the hospital.
Fuji didn't need permission to enter Tezuka's room since he knew the man would have been sleeping then. He knew by heart about Tezuka's schedule.
The room was dark as usual. He immediately stood next to the man.
Tezuka's hands were out of his blanket again, as usual. Fuji tucked the right hand into the blanket but stopped when he touched Tezuka's left hand. He wrapped his own hands around Tezuka's.
"Tezuka-san, Sei-chan will be back tomorrow. He promised me to stay with you after this, I'll make sure that he does. Get well soon, okay? You are meant to be a great man."
There was no reply from the sleeping man. "I'll miss you so much.." Fuji blinked away the tears, "because, Tezuka-san.. I like you, I like you more than just friend. I know I have no place in your life therefore.. Therefore I say it now. Good bye.."
Fuji dipped his head and kissed Tezuka on his lips. This will be the last, he promised. The kiss ended quicker than Fuji's expectation but he was satisfied. He walked away from the man with nothing more than just a memory. No, he did leave something, he left his heart to this man, the heart which wasn't needed by the man.
###
The journey back home was filled with silence. Momoshiro and Kaidoh were understanding enough to leave him in his thoughts. He sighed several times and was sure that Momoshiro and Kaidoh became anxious because of him.
"Thank you for driving me home." Fuji said when they arrived in front of his apartment.
"Don't mind, don't mind." Momoshiro laughed.
"Well then, good night both of you." Fuji waved.
They greeted him good night and left.
Fuji went straight to his apartment with heavy feeling in his heart. He felt sullen and sad, don't forget about the broken heart part, too.
He put on his key and turned it. It was unlocked. Did I forget to lock it this morning? No, I wouldn't. I always make sure about locks in my apartment thrice before going out.
He opened the door quietly. Did someone break into my home? Should I call the police? Wait, where is my baseball bat? I need to protect myself. I have enough with bulgar. He was too panic to realize a pair of familiar shoes on the floor.
Fuji stepped on the floor carefully. He could hear sound from his television and a man laughed about something the host said. He walked along the hallway and could see the door from livingroom was opened and the lamp was turned on, too. He peeked through the door's frame and gasped.
"Yuta!"
The man turned his head and saw Fuji who stood behind a wall. "Aniki! Where have you been? I have waited for a day long, geez!"
"What are you doing here?" He ran toward his little brother to hug him but the younger man stepped aside to avoid him.
Fuji pouted, "That's rude, Yuta!"
"You are the worst! I have waited three hours in the morning to realize that you weren't at home! Fortunately I remembered where you put your spare key! I tried to call you but was directed to the voice-mail! Do you think I'm happy hearing your voice-mail all day long, geez!"
"Sorry, I turned it off." Fuji smiled sheepishly.
"Have you had your dinner yet?"
"Un.. I raided your fridge. Can't you eat normal things which people call food? I almost got heart attack when I saw your fridge." He shook his head.
"I can buy you something. What do you want to eat? Are you going to stay for long time? Just asking so I can buy the right amount of food." Fuji smiled, his brother always made his day.
"No need. I think you need to empty your fridge instead."
Fuji blinked, "What do you mean?"
"Why do you think I come here so suddenly?"
"You miss me?" Fuji tried not to giggle.
Yuta threw his hand above his head as if saying he had enough. "Can we talk seriously without joking?"
Fuji's face became dimmer, "Okay."
Yuta realized immediately that something bad happened and he felt sorry for shouting to his brother. "I'm sorry, it's just so nerve-wracking waiting for you all day long and couldn't reach to you."
Fuji sat next to his brother, "It's okay, Yuta. Please continue, I won't bother you anymore."
"So.. Uh.. Well, The city which I work at right now needs an operator for their emergency unit. It's just for this winter, okay? The current operator is in her maternity leaves and will be back in spring. They asked me to search for a competent worker and I thought you just fit it. I won't push you to take it, if you don't want it I can ask Saeki-san to help."
"...it." Fuji whispered.
"Huh?" Yuta didn't catch it.
"I'll take it. Too bad that it is just this winter, ne? I can work in eternity if it means to be with you, Yuta!" Fuji reached out to his brother and hugged him.
"Stop it, Aniki! It's gross! Let me go! Let me go!"
Fuji didn't hear his brother anymore. He was glad about this chance, he could use thia for a break from Sei-chan and Tezuka. Tezuka.. When he back in spring, would he be able to smile at Sei-chan and Tezuka's relationship?
He didn't know. Hopefully so.
###
"How do you feel right now, Tezuka-san?"
"Everything is too bright."
The doctor laughed, "Your eyes need to adapt after a long time. The test results are good, you are in your best condition again but please remember to take everything easy for a while, okay?" He put away Tezuka's health reports.
"Okay. Thank you very much, Sensei."
"Thank you for your patience too, Tezuka-san. I'll let the nurse to take care about your discharging on Wednesday. Have a good day."
Tezuka bowed.
From the outside of Tezuka's room, Yukimura and Sanada stood rigidly. Yukimura looked at Sanada and the taller man replied it with a small nod.
Yukimura took Sanada's hand and inhaled, he could feel his hands shaking. Sanada took Yukimura's hand, "It's okay, I'll be with you, Seiichi."
Yukimura squeezed Sanada's hand, "Thank you, Gen-chan. Let's end this."
They walked into Tezuka's room hand in hand and Tezuka who was sitting on his bed with the bed set straight turned his head toward them. Tezuka saw their hands linked and blinked, no one could read Tezuka's expression when he decided to conceal it. Yukimura held Sanada tightly, Sanada nodded at Tezuka. Tezuka replied him with another nod and a small grunt.
Yukimura looked at Tezuka hesitantly and bit his lips,"Tezuka, there is something I want to tell you."
Tezuka looked at him, "Yukimura." he said flatly.