Disclaimer: I do not own Batman.
The Joker and Harley slowly turned around to see…legs? They looked up.
Oh, Batsy.
"Bats, darling! Long time, no see! At first, I thought you actually gave up on me, went to beat other fish in the sea, but no!" the Joker greeted him with open arms as he landed on his knees. "You really do care about me, Batsy! I'm glad!"
Tears shined in the Joker's eyes. "I'm s-sorry, Bats, I'm just getting e-emotional, that's all!"
He swiped a tissue out of his pocket and blew in it. It sounded more like blowing a raspberry, though.
Batman grabbed his collar. The Joker gave a goofy grin.
Scoffing, the Batman threw him to the ground a couple yards away. The criminal made the same "GAH!" that he did ten minutes ago, and his head hit the cold pavement.
Harley gasped, "Mistah J!"
The woman immediately bent down by the Joker, whom was already on his last strings of consciousness. Shaking and spluttering, he put Harley on the verge of tears with his dramatic movements.
Secretly, of course, the Joker snickered to himself on what a show this was.
He coughed, "Ya really love me, doncha, Batsssss...?"
With a final, theatrical wheeze, the Joker's head limply rolled back to the floor. A frozen smile was plastered on the apparently unconscious man's face.
Time seemed to freeze at that moment, and Batman had a feeling about how the Joker's moll would have reacted. Once he looked at her, the image of her reaction was just as he expected. Her head stiffened through the uncontrollable shaking of her body, and even though the woman wore pure white make-up, the redness in her face was becoming noticeable. Looking up beneath her furrowed eyebrows, her somewhat innocent eyes flashed anger.
Then, out of nowhere, a shrill scream of rage soared up her lungs, and she dove at the Batman. Her hidden fist went up to reveal her mallet.
Of course, the Joker didn't really notice much of what happened with his eyes closed, except for a cartoonish cat screech and the fact that his dear Bat was getting beaten to a bloody pulp.
Oh, Batsy, the Joker moaned beside himself. How many times do I have to tell you to never play with me when Harls is around...? I think your IQ is decreasing from all those hits in the head you get, don't ya think?
His narrow eyes shot up, seeing his girl hovering over the Bat-With-A-Broken-Wing. She giddily wore a big, toothy grin, mallet in hand.
"How was that, Puddin'?" she asked, in a baby-like tone. As Harley tip-toed toward the love of her life, mischief sparkled in the Joker's insanely glowing eyes.
"It was good, but let me deal with Bat-Cakes, 'kay?" the Joker replied, with sickeningly sweet tone.
Harley giggled in response, but her short fit of laughter abruptly ended when she whipped her head towards Batman.
"B-Man, I can't BELIEVE you would hurt my Puddin'-Pop like that!" Harley mockingly scolded. "Go to the corner!"
At this point, the Joker would have been annoyed with how Harley was acting overall when the police were so nearby, not to mention a large fire. Instead, he only paid attention to one detail in his hench-woman's behavior.
Puddin'-Pop? the Joker groaned in his thoughts. That's a new one.
"NOW!" Harley scolded, stomping her foot in the process. The Joker rolled his eyes at her childishness.
"Are we done now, Harls?" he said, biting a finger nail. Harley crossed her arms curiously.
"I don't know, Mistah J; he's not waking up," she said. "Whatdaya think we should do with him?"
The Joker responded by walking a few feet forward and inspecting the man. Pondering, he tapped his cheek three times with one finger.
"Hmm..." the Joker wrinkled his nose. "I can't kill him, oh, of course not. The game shouldn't end so abruptly! No! That wouldn't be fun at all. The game should go on forever and ever! He's the knight, I'm the king, you'll be the...um...queen, that's it, and that kid can be the pawn..." The Joker noticed Harley raise her eyebrows. "...who turns into the queen once she reaches the other side, of course! And it will stay that way, do you hear that, Bats?"
Something clicked in Harley's head, and her blue eyes widened.
"Hey, Puddin'! What if he remembers us talking about Little Red?" Harley frowned. According to the Joker, it was the first time she said something smart that day, though it annoyed him that she gave her the similar nickname that she gave the plant.
"Well, then, let's not take any chances! Hit him in the head again!" the Joker yelled. After all, they definitely couldn't have the Batman remember what they said about the girl.
Harley obeyed, her mallet landing straight on the Bat's head. A moan escaped from his lips, and a black chip in his ear made a few tiny sparks. The Joker and Harley's discordant voices echoed and beeped throughout it, and the Joker immediately deduced that it was a recorder.
The Joker glanced at Harley. "Well, it seems that he was crazy prepared today like always, right, Poo?"
Harley ferociously nodded her head, and her bunny-like pupils leaped everywhere.
"Right!" she agreed, straightening her posture. Her eyes calmed down, but they still looked from side to side. "So...what should we do now? The boys are probably getting arrested right now."
The Joker's eyes widened. He had almost forgotten all about the police, who were right in front of the burning buildings across from them.
And yet again, he only focused on one stupid detail.
How can the police not notice me, Harley, or the giant bat-body on the not-so-faraway apartment building? the Joker thought, as he scratched his head. It's like the police force is getting stupider and stupider everyday! My goons aren't even safe from the growing disease of stupidity, either!
He snorted at the police cars swarming the area.
The Joker finally sighed, "Let's go back. I'm starting to get bored."
With that, he turned away from the smoking buildings, only glancing behind once last time to see the orphanage many blocks away.
"But don't worry, kid, I'll be back very soon."
And his ominous laughter filled the air. Like a contagious disease, it made almost all of Gotham City laugh with him. The only one that didn't was the girl grappling herself up to her room, collapsing in shock when she enters.