Chapter Eight

Only Reminds Me Of You

"I've tried to run from your side, but each place I hide, it only reminds me of you"

It's been a dreadful few weeks since Robin had left for his motherland, and she feels the loss of him so keenly. Of course, logically she knows that they have been apart for a while now, her own doing no less, but it's one thing to know that he's just across the city, and to know that he's halfway across the globe. The latter is more depressing.

She can't blame him. Sometimes, she feels like she's the one who has pushed him deeper into the clutches of depression. She's the one who broke it off with him after all. Of course, at the time she justified it with wanting him to get better, and honestly, she still feels the same now, but she hadn't meant to push him that far away. She supposes, even when she's trying to be far away from him, she still needs to be sure that he isn't going to be too far. Selfish, no doubt, but love isn't really all that giving, now is it?

She heaves a sigh as she sinks on the couch. She's been waiting for his call all day. Ever since he's left, they've begun to try and rebuild the bridges they've broken when they broke up, and they had been calling each other, just checking in, slowly trying to ease their way into each other's lives. It had been easy, familiar, but still new and exciting. It almost felt like they are getting to know each other for the first time.

She lifts her hand and twirls the ring on her finger—the one she's taken off the night she broke up with him and had taken to wearing again when he left. It's a simple gold band with three emerald stones sitting side by side. It was their promise ring. She'd kept it.

She'd actually found it on the coffee table before she had left that night, she knows he must have been the one to put it there after it had been left lying on the ground that night when she'd thrown it at him, and she'd picked it up and took it with her. It might be the last piece of him that she could take with her, aside from the memories that feels like daggers to take out and remember when they attack her mind at night.

She can still remember the exact moment he'd given it to her, can remember her fast beating heart, can remember the tears pressing on her eyes when she'd seen the ring, can remember his vibrant blue eyes looking at her with fear and love and promise, can remember his trembling voice and her shaking hands, can remember that moment he'd slid the ring on her finger. She remembers it all, remembers his words to her, the promises he can no longer keep.

"This is not an engagement ring," he'd told her when she'd gasped and looked at him with teary eyes. She'd asked him without words what it had meant, and he'd seen the question in her eyes (because that's how he is, he is in sync with her, knows what she wants and needs long before she'd say it, long before she even knows she does), and he'd answered her untold question. "Well, not yet anyway. Not until we're ready," he'd said, and she had nodded, agreeing with him. "But this is something of the same nature—a promise, a symbol of my commitment to you, of my never ending devotion and love."

She hadn't known what to say then, her words had left her, and her heart had been in her throat, making it very hard to speak. Her tears were coursing down her cheeks, unheeded, and she'd been so emotional…after all, they'd been together for more than two years at the time, and it wasn't as though she'd been expecting a marriage proposal, or she'd questioned his commitment to her, but his gesture would have and had not gone unappreciated.

"I want you to look at it and know that I'm here, that you are never alone, and there will always be this one person who will always support you, will love you the most," he continues then as he looks at her earnestly, his clammy hands holding hers. "I want you to look at it and remember my promise, and that is, that even as the world fails you, even when everything is falling apart, I'll stand there by you, and with you, and we will rebuild our own world…together."

She had been reduced into an emotional mess by then, her sobs racking her body as he slid the ring onto her finger, leaning into her and sealing his promise with a kiss. She'd kissed him back with so much ardour, and the night had ended with them celebrating in their own little bubble, making love to each other until the sun had risen.

He'd whispered his love for her, as he held her cooling body, both waiting for sleep to take over them, and he'd whispered his visions of what their future might look like, with her whispering that as long as they had it together, she'd be happy. He'd kissed her, and held her, and she doesn't remember all of her dreams but she knows they had been sweet, her smile had not even left her lips come morning.

It all seems so far away now…so long ago.

And she's forced to a life without him now, she'd let him go, but he's still the one that fills her mind, all the time, every day, at every waking minute. Even if he says he's coming back, sometimes she wonders if it would still be the same when he comes back. They would both be different by then, made different by the circumstances, so she isn't so sure.

But she keeps hope.

She keeps hope because she doesn't think she can actually live without him—not when every part of her screams for him and every place, every move, reminds her of him.

She sighs once more as she feels the tears prick her eyes. She misses him, misses him so much it's almost ridiculous.

But he holds her heart, thousands of miles away, and there isn't anything she could do about that.

She looks at the ring and slides it in her finger. He made a promise, and they are being tested right now, but she holds on to that promise. She'll keep the ring until he comes back and hold on to the promise entailed by that little piece of jewelry.

She'd keep it with the hopes that maybe one day, it would find its way to her finger once more and she wishes that maybe on that time, she won't ever have to take it out again.

A/N: Sorry this was so short, this is just a transition, mostly so is the next one. So there. Also, I'm all dried out from all the Uni stuff and the other fics I had to write, so I'm really very sorry! Let me know what you think!