The water flowing down the sink was black after being poured on Obito's head, taking the dust covering him with itself. The Uchiha was rubbing his torso with a wet piece of cloth, cleaning himself up. In the meanwhile, Deidara sat on one of the pillows on the ground of the main room, his throat dry for not having spoken for what seemed like hours. Also, the sink appeared from nowhere; they came back and it was there. The artist hoped he would get a grip of how things worked here sometime soon.
"I'm glad you healed." Obito probably only said that to break the silence. Well, it could be also taken for sarcasm. I'm glad you healed. I'm glad you blew me up at least twenty times. But by now, it almost seemed normal to the blond to not understand anything about the other man's life philosophy. What was that martyric act just now? Deidara watched his pale and muscular back moving as he leaned into the water, still dirty. Was he just playing the victim to make him feel guilty? Yeah, that had to be it.
He saw something he hadn't noticed before: Obito's right side was full of those wrinkles he had on his face, too. He knew his childhood accident was serious, but this much...
"As I said, my whole right side's been crushed." Deidara had to remind himself that the taller man had a rinnegan and could see perfectly what was behind him. Obito finally finished washing himself and sat down in front of the blonde. The bomber, strangely enough, wished the other could just put a damn shirt on. If he had to stare at that statue-like exposed build, white and delicate as porcelain and massive as granite, bad things could happen. But there was no way in hell for him to ask Obito that favor. Mostly because he would have to explain why he did.
"I know my scars are disturbing; sorry about that. You blew my cloak up." the Uchiha apologized, obviously noticing Deidara's stare, who wanted to smack himself in the head. He was utterly embarrassed, but he didn't want to make an issue out of it. He brushed it off as a simple instinct for him, who was gay. It'd be stupid not to look at a shirtless guy when he could, right?
"What's next, un?" Deidara started patting the surface of the table with his fingertips in impatience that was out of his character. But what was he looking forward to, exactly? The question was completely honest: he didn't know what was next. And judging by the lack of an answer, the other man also didn't.
"You can do whatever you want now, go to the mine if you feel like it." he sighed, not really saying anything new. The feeling of control over his own life... no, death, was unfamiliar to the blonde after all the mess they did since he had appeared in Tsukuyomi. If there was nothing to do, every issue between them had already had its conclusion, right? So why couldn't he find the strenght to stand up and walk out?
He was stuck in the pose he was sitting in, immobile like one of his statues, except he was not going to explode. Obito was giving him quite the questioning look as he finally moved -his hand, more precisely-, reaching out to the taller man's scarred arm.
"What are you...?" for the first time, the bomber chuckled. It was funny to see the Uchiha so bewildered.
"What's this made of?" the dark haired man didn't even hold the grudge for his limb being referred to as 'this' and answered simply.
"Wood."
"It feels weird, un." the artist stated, running his hand over the other's shoulder, still barely touching.
"I know it's horrible, no need to tell me." Deidara now knew that Obito was a fairly sentimental guy who took certain things personally. He resembled a child, from that point of view. His childhood ending so abruptly probably hadn't had a good effect on his personal development.
"Never said it was." Oops, did that really slip out of his mouth? The blonde man's heartbeat fastened for a split of second, a bit of blood flowing to his cheeks. His thoughts from before flashed into his mind again. It was plain admiration for beauty, he tried to convince himself. He gained back his composition in less than two seconds; an emergency record, considering that the man in front of him was gazing at his reaction. He wondered how much he actually noticed of that short loss of control.
"Deidara..." Obito began to say something; apparently a hard quesiton, of those ones you have to choose the words to use for carefully.
,,For someone who likes guys, do you find me attractive?"
Deidara, despite the resolve he already had about the issue, cursed all the Uchihas again. Itachi, for leaving his brother alive. Sasuke, for making him use his technique and end up here. Obito, for even opening his goddamn mouth in that second. Because he was losing it again, blushing like a little girl, him, a 19-year-old man who wasn't that easy to embarrass either.
More importantly, what should he answer? If he said yes, it'd be the sad end of all his self-control. If he said no, he would be lying. But it was useless, he was going red already, and what most likely was a barely noticeable shade of blushing, still felt striking to him.
"...Yes, in some ways, un."
"I see... I'm glad." Obito turned his head around in a gesture which was an apparent neck-scratching, but Deidara could swear he was trying to hide a small smile plastered on his ruined face with his elbow.
"Why do you ask?" the blonde decided to persist and dig up whatever the other was hiding inside of himself.
"I was wondering about these scars, I thought they were ugly. I bet Rin wouldn't like them either if she were here..." now he showed the slightly lifted corner of his mouth, reassuring Deidara that it was a joke this time; the first one the once-masked man ever made about his past love. But he couldn't hide the darkening on his face after a few seconds. The subject still hurt.
"I think she would be really happy to see you, whatever way you look like." the smaller man stated, with an unsecure voice. Obito soon realized it was his fault; the last time the artist had tried to comment his love life, he'd lost it.
"That's only what I'd like to think." the Uchiha's voice was low and quiet, more a muttering to himself than conversation.
"She didn't love me."
"She would, if she saw you survived for her, un." Deidara said more reassured than before.
"That's not how love works, Deidara. When you love someone, you have no reason for it. Don't you think it'd be more convenient for me to stop feeling anything for Rin? If I could control my emotions... If I could have kept myself from falling in love with her... I wouldn't be a horrible person by now."
"What you just said is exactly what makes you the opposite."
That phrase, it disturbed Obito. Ever since he'd been plotting his plan, he had this terrible opinion on himself. Before he got crushed alive and then saw Rin dying, when he was a child, he had a kind heart. Everyone thought he was the biggest loser in Konoha, but no one could deny that he had good intentions. Ever since that day, his mind's been a mess. He didn't even dare to stop for a second between one action and the other to think, because he knew he would recall too many bad events, violently mixing with the good memories and making his head ache.
So, he took being a bad person for granted. And now a replica of his former partner in his inner world was trying to convince him that he wasn't.
"I've hurt too many people already; I've been through Hell and I'm going back there after my death." he answered to Deidara, who swifted his head slightly.
"I think you're too attached to the past, un." he said, feeling braver than ever after making a comment on Obito's attitude. Said man looked up questioningly.
"I always say that the moment you live in is the most important thing, which is influenced by either the past and the future. What you did and what you're going to do affects your life, but you must live the instant to proceed instead of sticking to one place, un."
"Is that the explanation of your art?" the Uchiha asked -Deidara couldn't believe it- excitedly.
"Exactly. I couldn't make statues if I didn't develop them in the past and I wouldn't if I didn't plan to blow up something. But what matters is the moment when they explode."
The sensation of figuring out something after a lot of struggle had always excited Obito (being kind of a hard learner as a kid), but now it brought him a peace of mind. His different eyes closed partially as he saw the surroundings blur. He had to blink a few times not to fall asleep in the middle of the conversation. He didn't even notice his exhaustion...
"Sorry, I must go to sleep now. We can continue after I wake up." he said, standing up from the table and almost stumbling while entering the other room. And Deidara smiled, not giving a damn about the rinnegan.
How much was it possible to tell about a man's personality only by his appearance? Because, aside from the huge scar covering half of his body, Obito looked as peaceful as a child while he slept. The reason why Deidara knew that was that he decided to sneak inside the futon-room after he was sure that the other slept soundly. Yes, soundly, literally. He snored in his sleep. The blonde man couldn't help but chuckle a little at that. Even complicated people like Obito had these sides to them; because he was human, just like him or any other person. He looked so innocent with his long, black lashes downwards. The artist wished he could see his real eyes, the way they were before he got his 'power-ups'.
Speaking of peacefulness, Deidara realized he'd never been calm for such a long time in his real life... Anger was something he was in constant need of, although he didn't really know why. Maybe to fill up the place of all the other feelings he lacked. True, he had thought he was in love when he came to like some of the men he occasionally had sex with; but thinking back, that must've been some sick attraction or sexual craving. So, basically, anger was the only feeling left for him in his life. But now he didn't miss it anymore. Maybe he was a simple replica who couldn't feel at all. Or, could there possibly be something else in his heart?
That's what he wondered about, lingering on the taller man's sleeping face.
Obito's breath fastened as he rolled around, turning his back to Deidara as if he said ,,Stop staring.". If he were a stranger, some unknown man from a pub, the blonde would have immediately dragged him to his bedroom and not let him go before the morning light. But this was Uchiha Obito. A significant detail. Still, he found himself thinking back to when his shoulder was broken and the other man had touched him in a somewhat human way for the first time. His hands were cold back then, but Deidara had a high body temperature by nature, so they felt relaxing against his skin. He cursed his own sexual interests and himself for cursing so much. He couldn't even define the relationship he had with the Uchiha. Friend, enemy, stranger... He couldn't enter any of these categories, he was lacking something for each of them. And Deidara knew it wasn't right to lock up everyone in these 'boxes', but he needed to know, or else he would never stop thinking about it.
"'Morning" the artist winced as the husky voice of a man who just woke up interrupted his train of thought.
"Huh? Why are you here?" there was no rudeness in Obito's tone, just pure curiosity.
"Well, I..." Deidara started to explain, but in the middle, he realized he hadn't made up the excuse yet.
"Were you watching me?" the once-masked Uchiha asked calmly (the question still came out of the blue).
"Wha- Why would I watch you? Are you crazy, un?" the bomber felt his cheeks redden again. He was starting to get tired of his own reactions.
"I also did when you were sleeping." Obito said like it was the most natural thing in the world, while he rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms.
"Yeah, you shouldn't conclude things because of your sick habits, un!"
"Why is it sick? I just like watching you, that's all."
That was the equivalent of "I like you", a part of Deidara's brain told him. But that damn Uchiha was still in love with some dead chick, right? There was nothing to worry about.
"So, were you admiring my stunning beauty, or what?"
"Yes, maybe."
He didn't really get the sarcasm, huh? The blonde man thought.
"Goddamn stalker, un." he said as he left te room, scratching his back with the help of his hand-mouth's teeth (not quite the ladylike way).
"Look who's talking... Didn't I just find you in my room after waking up?" the dark haired man followed him with messy black locks and frayed pants, shirtless once again. He soon found Deidara in the main room, staring at one of the walls blankly.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Where the hell did the sink go?"
"Like I said, everything changes places here constantly. Also, objects might appear or disappear. It depends on my state of mind." Obito explained.
"Do you have any way to control it?" the other looked at him with curiosity.
"It's something I should learn to do... Theoretically, if I achieved the complete control over my mind, I could shape this world to my liking."
"Why haven't you said that before?" Deidara was almost yelling as he gripped the taller man's shoulders in excitement. "You could have anything here! It's the utmost empty canvas for imagination, un!"
"Do you know how many times I thought about it already? The problem is, I cannot dominate all my feelings."
"But if you really wanted something, you could get it, right?" the blonde'a tone was more serious, although Obito knew he wasn't right.
"It doesn't work for people in the current state of Tsukuyomi, as I said." he muttered, slowly stepping towards the front door and sitting down on the small stairs leading to it outside. Deidara went after him, but once he got out, he noticed the wooden plank wasn't wide enough for two people to sit comfortably. He wondered if he should. The dark haired man, as he noticed the other's problem, pulled away to make some place; it didn't help a lot, but the bomber valued his effort as he sat down. He couldn't believe how much they had both changed since their first encounter.
"At least, it shouldn't." Obito added to his previous sentence, glaring at Deidara.
"If you think I'm such a huge nuisance, just say it into my face, un." the blonde pouted.
"On contrary," the Uchiha said dreamily while entwining his hands behind his head and leaning back. "Your presence had good effects on me. It's odd how much more compatible we are now, comparing to life."
Deidara stared widely at the word 'compatible'. He wish the taller man could talk in a less complicated way; he wanted to know what Obito was aiming at. In the past 'hours' he sounded like he was implying something.
"I was wondering... Why is it me sitting here now, instead of Rin?" the former Akatsuki terrorist said in the least offensive tone he could. In fact, he had an answer ready for his own question, but he didn't want to say it out loud. The Uchiha stared up at the carmine red sky.
"I'll be honest. I don't know."
Try to think about it, then, Deidara thought. It was weird, but he wanted the other nin to admit whatever he was hiding; because there surely was something. He was an Uchiha after all; they all had unrevealed issues. Despite their modifications due to the visual jutsu, he could see in the other's eyes that he was keeping something big to himself.
"What if...?" he began, but he didn't have the guts to say it out loud. He was staring at his hand-mouths awkwardly, trying to avoid the other's gaze.
Deidara took a breath to start over again.
"What if I was some kind of replacement, un?" there, he had blattered something without thinking again. Obito's eyes widened and brows furrowed. He almost looked like he was going to have a heart attack. Okay, the blonde thought, he just said something really weird, but that reaction was a little exaggerated. Maybe it was some crazy, unimaginable thing in the Uchiha's head, but he stood up harshly, even panting a bit.
"What's going on?" Deidara asked, realizing he was sounding a little too concerned, too.
"Nothing. I need to be alone for some time, sorry." he said as he entered at a quick pace and shut the door behind himself.