Chapter One: I accidentally Vaporize my Pre-Algebra Teacher
Hermes read, Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood. If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is…"Uh oh, Percy giving advice." nico said.
"Everybody hit the ground!" Thalia yelled. "Hey!" close this book right now. Believe what ever your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life. Being a half blood is very dangerous. It's scary. "Yes it is." Nico said. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways. "True." Annabeth said. If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you none of this never happened. "Really Kelp head?" Thalia said. "Yep." Percy said. But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside-stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. "You're making people not reading this story, Percy." said Poseidon. "Exactly." Said Percy. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you. Don't say I didn't warn you. "You didn't warn us." everyone said. My name is Percy Jackson.
I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student in Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.
Am I a troubled kid?
"Yes!" every demigod said. Yeah. You could say that. "You even agreed." Thalia said. I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started to go bad last May, when our sixth grade class took a field trip to the Manhattan-twenty-eight mental case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.
Athena: Sounds like fun.
Poseidon: No, it does not sound like fun, it sounds like torture.
I know-it sounds like torture.
Poseidon blushed while everyone laughed.
Most Yancy field trips were.
But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.
Mr. Brunner was this middle aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee.
Thalia: You smelled his Jacket, kelp head?
Percy: Not like that!
You wouldn't think he would be cool, but he told stories and jokes and lets us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.
Athena: Going to sleep in class, For shame. For shame.
Demeter: Maybe you need more cereal? Hades: You were just quiet, shut the hell up with your damn cereal, woman! Demeter was going to speak when Hermes read.
I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hope that for once I wouldn't get into trouble.
Boy, I was wrong.
See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga Battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I get expelled anyway.
Apollo and Hermes were laughing so hard they were as happy as clowns. And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit of wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.
Everyone was laughing the asses off, people falling off chairs.
And the time before that…Well, you get the idea.
This trip I was determined to be good.
All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter and Ketchup sandwich.
Nico: You know who that almost reminds me of?
Annabeth: Who?
Nico: Rachel. Thalia nodded. "I'm telling Rachel that." Percy said.
Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard.
"Grover not going to like that description." Thalia said.
On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.
Everyone was laughing. "You silly goat." Annabeth said.
Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The head master threatened me with Death…
Poseidon squeaked.
By in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.
"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.
Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."
He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.
"That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.
Ares was sleeping, when he heard someone going to hurt someone else, he got straight up.
Hephaestus: You missed it.
Ares: Dang it!
"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens." Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.
Hermes couldn't read anymore, his voice was hurting.
Athena: Lets take a break, even though that was two pages.
Everyone else agreed