So it goes with saying that only things I own with any connection to MARVEL I bought on Ebay or Etsy. MARVEL COMICS & MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE are their own creatures and I have nothing to do with either of them aside from the fact I enjoy reading or watching them, and am grateful for the ability to play in their world. I claim nothing, and I receive nothing for this, expect the pleasure of putting something out into the world.
You can also find this story on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN under the same title and pen name along with a place to post suggestions.
Don't forget to check out the Photobucket album listed on my profile page too.
DAY THREE
CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0743 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
NORA
I've had things set me off before, but usually they were something physical, whether that be an object or an action. This time it fell into a third category, it was a word. That word, special.
I know Duncan didn't mean it. Most people like having that word associated with them, and while I never wanted it, if someone said it usually I was fine. I just smiled and brushed it off but not this time.
I asked him to tell me who I was, it's all I wanted him to do. Reaffirm my past for me so I stopped feeling like I was loosing my mind. Even if he lied to me at that point I don't think I would have cared because I just needed that right now, but instead he called me special. Special people always die in a unique and horrible fashion. He ruined everything with one word.
I could tell he wanted to stay and talk me back into my senses, but he left anyways. It was probably a combination of my earlier threat to scream, and Loki's ever present possessive jealousy that made him decide to retreat for his own safety.
The tears started falling again the second he slammed the door softly. He wants to help me but then I went and said that. God what is wrong with me?
No... I think that word. No, I can't do this. I repeat in my head, forcing the refusal into existence, and forcing myself to listen to it. All I want to do is freak out and cry again, because that would be so easy right now. But I know I can't because Loki is going to come back eventually, and if he finds me crying he is going to want to know why, and my answer might not be good enough to keep him from coming to his own conclusion.
I may have just drove Duncan out of the room but I still care about him. He is kind to me, he cares back, he wants to help me, and most importantly he is a human being. I value life too much to ever want anything bad to happen to someone.
His fur tickles my nose as I bury my face into his side, drawing a curious crackling meow out of him as he starts to purr softly and readjust his position so he can see what I'm doing. I don't stop him, instead I steady my arms as I push them together to give him something to stand on. Then once he has turned around and is facing me he once again reaffirms exactly why I love him so much. He presses his forehead into mine, and leaves a love bite on the tip of my nose before he pulls back and looks at me expectantly.
His next sounds are annoyed and surprised, but they are also mixed with my dramatic chuckle as I shift my arms from being a bridge under his feet back to a cradle around him. Hugging him to my chest I press a kiss to the top of his head before he can voice that protest too. "I love you so much sweetie."
"That makes him a very lucky creature."
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0747 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
LOKI
I came in through the door, so I assumed she was at least aware of my approach, even if she did not look up and acknowledge it but apparently she was too focused on her thoughts to notice the sound of the hinges giving way. She drew a startled breath and her affectionate embrace of that creature turned to something uncomfortable enough for it to voice its protest.
"I am sorry." I offer as I step the rest of the way in the room and shut the door, listening for the click of the latch before I walk across the room. "I did not mean to startle you." She responds to those words, but the manner is silence. She just shakes her head softly from side to side.
"Your guard..." I venture again, curious by this reaction and hoping to draw actual words from her to explain it this time. "...told me there was something wrong with your pet?"
Again I receive a quiet nod, this time up and down, but still no words or her eyes meeting mine. "But there is also clearly something wrong with you."
It was not a question, but she still answered it with a sharp negating shake of her head, denying that obvious truth even as it made her shoulder tense and her body shudder.
"Arnora." Just the uttering of her name makes that shiver more pronounced and I can hear her knuckles crack under the strain of her fists.
"Please just fix my kitten and let me be for a minute Loki."
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0749 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
NORA
I can't right now. I know I said we would talk about this, I know that's the deal I made with him but I just can't right now. I don't know if its the alcohol, it's probably the alcohol, or just the stress of this imprisonment finally coming to a head but I just cleared the top of another freak out and it will be so easy to rise back up to that level again.
I cannot do that, I can't, not around him. I need to be strong and steady and in control. Only my control's not a rope right now, it's a frayed strand of silk thread and I really want it to be a rope again.
"Nora." This time he uses my 'real' name and I don't know if it's because he understood what was going on in my head or it it was just coincidence, but it makes me happy that he choose to say that one. "I would be happy to help the creature, but I cannot unless you first let it go."
Of course I have to let him go, its logic plain and simple. But another thing is just as clear to me in the second Loki speaks those words. Its that I can't. I'm scared to let him go, beyond all logic and reason I am afraid if I let go of my cat for even a second, that I'll lose him forever. "No, just give me a stone then, I'll do it."
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0751 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
LOKI
Her refusal was a bit unexpected, and in equal measure an annoyance. When the mercenary said her animal was sick I knew exactly what caused its 'illness'. She must have absorbed more of the magic I infused the creature with while they slept together, the creature was going through withdrawals.
However, given her affection for the feline I had no real intentions of telling her I cast a spell on her pet that caused it to develop an addiction to magick. Even if she was in a calm state of mind that would only upset and in the state she is in now is anything but calm.
But actually, I just realized that despite how much it will inevitably upset her, I can use this development to my favor. "I do not think a healing stone is what he needs."
I watch as the realization settles. First there is a blank look of confusion as her mind processes those words, then the suspicion appears in her expression next followed by understanding, and a look of betrayal. The changing landscape of her features ends on tense anger.
"What did you do to my cat?!" It is not a particularly kind tactic, but I do want to push her a little. Her magick has always been so much more closely linked to her emotions than mine, if it is awakening at all then the best way for me to see it is to make those emotions stronger.
"Nothing that I can not fix." I offer in lieu of an apology as I once again hold out my hand to take the creature from her. I am not surprised when she pulls it tighter to her chest instead. The instinct to protect has always been very strong in her. It has gotten her into more trouble than anything else in her life.
"No." Though I must admit the outright refusal to obey me is a bit interesting. Any annoyance I might have felt is tempered by curiosity at where she is drawing this courage from, and by the fact that I really don't care one way or another what happens to her animal. "You don't get to touch him, not until you tell me what you did to him."
"I healed him." She asked so I answered, and in its own way, what I tell her is the truth. Seeing her surprised and offended doubt I continue. "I used a healing stone, something made with an Asgardian in mind, to set his broken bones and stop your tears." There is a bit of a bite to the last of those words, the hint that I too am offended by her lack of appreciation for what I have done for her. "But your cat is no Asgardian, the stones were made to heal far stronger and larger things."
"I have never healed a creature as small or mortal as he is with the stones." I continue, letting the edge in my voice soften even as her gaze remains sharp. "There was a risk that magick that strong would be addicting to such a little life form, but I thought your happiness was worth it." A truth to cover the truth her pet might be addicted to the stones as well. It is hard to say since it didn't have enough time for any withdrawals to start appearing before I filled it with my magick, which it hungers for now. "Was I wrong?" No one ever accused me of being beyond using guilt to get my way.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0755 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
NORA
"Was I wrong?" He asks, those green eyes of his studying mine patiently as he waits for the answer he knows is coming. No, he isn't wrong, no matter how much I wish he was. I hate the idea that he did that to my kitten, and that he didn't tell me sooner but I know if he did I would have been just as upset, and that's why he didn't. I also know that if he had asked me first, and informed me of the potential consequences I might have told him to heal Jareth anyways.
Jareth, now finally able to squirm his way out of my weighted hold makes my answer pretty clear as he scrambles away and right into Loki's awaiting hands. His automatic acceptance of Loki now makes a lot more sense and makes me feel like a fool for not questioning it more earlier. I thought it was just because my kitten could tell he was a good person, what a stupid thought.
I can feel a slight shift of something in the air when he actually does it, an awareness channeled through the hairs on my arms more than my eyes because they are closed at the moment in defeat. That sensation only makes me close them even tighter so I don't end up losing another fight with myself.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0756 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
LOKI
I can tell she is once again fighting to hold back a tide of frustrated tears as I finish sating the cat's addiction, carefully setting it back down at her side as its barely able to stay awake. Its reaction to my magick is truly reminiscent of an opiate, it's addiction now satisfied it is now relaxing into state of elevated bliss.
Now my concern returns completely to where it has truly been all along. With her eyes still closed I project my movements as I take my place on the bed with her, my goal is to comfort her, not give her a cause for alarm. "I am sorry."
Her reply is a mixture of amusement and a mildly surprised exhale before she shakes her head softly and lets her weight lean into me, trusting me to support her as her face finds just the right curve to settle in at the hollow of my throat, while her hand comes up and her fingers idly trace the pattern of my pauldron on the opposite shoulder.
"Tell me a story, Loki..." She whispers, and with her mouth so close to my skin I have to make an effort not to shiver at the warmth of her breath. "Something about us, something nice."
Her request is remarkably simple, and difficult all at once. There is so much I could choose from to tell her, and for a moment I just let one of my own hands toy idly with the ends of her hair as I rest a hand on her shoulder. In the end though I come to an obvious choice. If you are going to tell a story it's always best to start at the beginning.
"Shall I tell you how we met?"