So it goes with saying that only things I own with any connection to MARVEL I bought on Ebay or Etsy. MARVEL COMICS & MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE are their own creatures and I have nothing to do with either of them aside from the fact I enjoy reading or watching them, and am grateful for the ability to play in their world. I claim nothing, and I receive nothing for this, expect the pleasure of putting something out into the world.
You can also find this story on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN under the same title and pen name along with a place to post suggestions.
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DAY THREE
CHAPTER FIFTY TWO
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0834 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
NORA
I kissed him. I kissed Loki, and he let me. He kissed me back. Then he pushed me away, and he said I was wrong.
'I' left him, 'I' made a decision that hurt him, it hurt him so much. It hurt me too, but it hurt him more because he remembers it all, and that hurts me too. I, Nora, never wants to hurt anyone. She's sweet and kind and cares. Even the people she doesn't like she still cares about. But here I am, as Nora, trying to pass judgement on someone else I don't remember being, because they made a mistake that caused so much pain.
So I kissed him, even though I was afraid. I didn't think he would hurt me, but it didn't change the memory that the last time I tried to kiss him I only made him angry. This time was different. This time I was kissing him for him.
He has a foot of height on me so I had to lace my fingers together and stand on my toes to reach his lips, but I had his hands on my back to steady me and once he realized what I was doing he also leaned down to meet me.
I've heard a first kiss described a lot of ways, from awkward to electric, and while I couldn't possibly call his kiss awkward it didn't quite fit the description of electric either. I didn't think it was a bad kiss, quite the opposite, I just never knew my lips could feel so much.
They were warm, like the rest of him, but whatever magick he used to warm his body didn't seem to extend deeper than his skin, a detail I noticed when he pulled me tighter against him, both his arms locking around the small of my back, and making me gasp just enough to give him a chance to deepen the kiss.
He could have gone farther with it, part of me knew that even if I tried I wouldn't be able to fight him off me, but all he did was tug on my lower lip lightly a few times with his own. Then he was the one to retreat from me. The gentle tremor in his hands as they gripped my upper arms was a clear enough message why. If he didn't stop now he wouldn't.
His arms unwrapped from my back and his hands found my own, silently asking and accepting my also silent permission for him to hold them as he let his closed eyes focus on the floor while he settled back into himself again. And thats when he said it. "No."
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0836 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
LOKI
I said "no". I know why I said it, in the logical part of my mind, but in the other half I do not know why I said it at all. I had her body in my arms and her lips tracing over mine. I had her, but I ignored what I really wanted and pushed us apart then I said 'no'!
I do not know what thoughts in her head made her do that, but I do not care. I had been starving for her kiss for so long I forget I had been hungry for it, then I saw her here on Midgard and it is all I have wanted to do since, relearn the taste of her kiss.
But like anything that is starving, when you put what it desires in front of it again, it is ravenous. I had her kiss, but I wanted more. So much more. She is not ready though, no matter how much I want her to be, she is not ready for that.
So I set myself to cherish the kiss I did receive, and be patient. I had brought her this far, even if she was very likely to become angry with what I tell her next, I can bring her back to this point and beyond. I will live for thousands of years, I have no need to rush like a mortal, like every second I waste is a loss.
"No?" It makes the look in her eyes all the more sting, and I am almost certain if I did not have the foresight to hold her hands she might be backing away from me right now. As it is there is little I can do but trace patterns into her palms in what I hope is a comforting gesture.
"No. It was not me." The new expression that takes over her face makes it clear that a gentle caress is not going to be enough, and it is also no longer welcome. Though she does not put much effort into it, I can feel her hands try to tug their way out of my hold. "I was not why you were banished."
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0838 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
NORA
"I ki-kissed you!" I'm so mad the stutter is back, but all I do is stand there with a set jaw and sad offended eyes.
"I know." He replies back, lifting one of my hands with his to brush a hair back in place, noticing but ignoring my almost angry flinch. "I should not have let you." It seems that reaction is enough to make him let go of the hand he lifted. "But you are beautiful Arnora, and I love you. Can you really fault a man for kissing his lost love back if she kisses him first?"I am not gonna cry. I won't. I'm angry, I should be able to stay angry.
"I did that because I thought I hurt you Loki, you said six hundred years, you said you thought I died, you said I chose to be banished!"
"You did." Both his hands are on my arms, but the grip is so light its almost not worthy of being called a grip. "You did. But it was the only choice you could make. I understood then, and I understand now. I never blamed you for leaving. I knew who you did it for."
"But I don't!" The beginnings of his smile drift back down into a neutral line, one that borders on sorrow, and that just makes me more upset because he looks like he is considering whether or not to to tell me. "If I wasn't banished because I loved you, than why? You have to tell me why?!" Screw this not crying idea, I don't care anymore, all I want is the answer and if I have to let angry tears burn my cheeks to get them then I will.
He starts with a sigh, and a consenting nod. "There was someone that you loved even more than you loved me." Even though he is telling me, I can tell its not easy for him. Whatever this secret is he carries it with weight. "Someone dearer and deeper in your heart then I could ever hope to be." But not enough weight. "But I cannot tell you this part."
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
0839 HOURS
SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER
LOCATION UNKNOWN
LOKI
The silence in my ears tells me what my averted eyes do not. My decision is a shocking one. It seems out of character to me as well, but it is a necessity. "Forgive me, I know that seems cruel of me." The silence continues even as I meet the searching gaze of her unblinking eyes. "But this is the one truth you must remember for yourself. If I tell you it, you will not believe me, you will take my word with doubt and the doubt will only grow."
"No." Her eyes still search mine, even though something in them says she found at least a piece of what she was seeking. "No, you want me to know?" The edges of her lovely lips curl in hopefulness. "I know you want me to know."
This time I am the one to react. She sees something in my face, perhaps the deep seated desire that there was another way, so she lifts her warm tan hands to cup my cheeks. The gesture is so pleasant I cup her hands at the wrists as well to keep them there. "Just tell me, Loki please. You can't tell me this much and not tell me."
Those words make the schemer in me smile a little. A show of physical affection before issuing her request. It is rather basic as techniques go, but that does not make it a poor choice. I wonder more though if it was deliberate to take advantage of my desire for her, or if the gesture truly is as innocent as it seems. Either way it is still not enough to make me change my mind. "I am sorry."
She does not fight me as I move her hands away from my cheek and guide them back down to her sides. Her struggle still remains with words. "I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to tell me the name." And with those expressive two toned eyes "Just tell me the name please."
"I am sorry." This time my apology seems to exceed her limits, and the fire flashes in those eyes, but her frustration and anger comes too late, something she realizes when her jerking hand passes through mine with a glimmering light.
I have already created a projection of myself outside of this room and am almost finished manifesting into it by the time she started struggling, I simply save my hands for last. Leaving her no option but to voice her fury, and even though the door is metal, her fury still echoes through it. "No?! No! Don't go! Damn it Loki, don't do this to me again, get back here! TELL ME!" And her heartbreaking sense of betrayal.
NOTES FOR THE READERS:
Regarding Loki's teleportation, while they didn't explain it in the movies because of the rule "if you overly explain 'magick' it stops being 'magick'." this is my interpretation on how it works. Unlike 'nightcrawler's BAMF style teleportation which is limited by his ability to see his destination, Loki's teleportation has a few requirements because it isn't is instantaneous. 1st he needs a fixed destination, and it doesn't have to be somewhere he can physically see when he starts the process, though if he cant, prior knowledge of the location is necessary to prevent his destination from being in a wall. 2nd he marks this destination with an illusion of himself. 3rd he then either casts an additional illusion of himself or of invisibility on himself to make it appear like teleportation because 4th it is more like Star Trek still transportation, it takes a few seconds.