"The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Cecilia's POV

Last night was amazing. I could actually feel Daryl and I getting closer. It had been so long since I felt so calmed, so comfortable and so safe.

I even woke up with a smile from last night and was in a really good mood, even Beth noticed and she hadn't met me for more than two days.

"You know your friend Shane is teaching people how to shoot, you should join us," Beth told me at breakfast that morning.

"Thanks but I can already shoot," I told her.

"Really? Did he teach you before?"

"Uh no, I learnt about two or three years ago," I said, getting a bit uncomfortable. "It's a long story."

"You are lucky then, you are more prepared than many of us."

"You can never be prepared for this kind of situations," I said sadly. "It doesn't matter if you can shoot if you freeze at the time you need to do it or you are scared. Besides, the sound may attract more of those things so you end up using your knife."

She only nodded at me. A gun can be useful at times but it can also fire back at you, literally and not literally speaking.

"I'm sorry about your sister," she said to me. "I hope you find her soon. I don't know what I'd do without Maggie."

"I heard you lost your brother and your mum, that must be hard. I'm sorry." She only nodded at me, suddenly getting really uncomfortable. "Anyway, I'll go outside and see if someone needs me."

"My dad said you should rest a bit more, maybe a day or two."

"Don't worry, I'll try to not do things that require lots of effort. But I have to help."

I waved at her and then walked out of the farm house. It was not until today that I thought that maybe Beth hadn't helped me this much because she pitied me but because she feels all alone and sometimes she needs someone around her age to share things with. She has her sister and her boyfriend but there are certain things you can't say to your family.

As I walked out I noticed none of the members of my group were around camp anymore, which was quite weird. I could swear I just saw them all eating breakfast right here minutes ago. I shrugged my shoulders and when I turned around I saw Daryl going to the stables, my mum was following him and I decided to follow her, they both walked inside while I hid by the doors of the stable.

"You can't," my mother exclaimed.
"I'm fine," Daryl muttered.
"Hershel said you need to heal."
"Yeah, I don't care."
"Well, I do. Rick's going out later to follow the trail."
"Yeah well, I ain't gonna sit around and do nothing," he exclaimed.
"No, you're gonna go out there and get yourself hurt even worse," she told Daryl, I agreed with her on that. "We don't know if we're gonna find her, Daryl."
I gasped. I almost fell down when I heard that. Was she really giving up on Sophia? Was she really doing this? Did this mean she would give up on me as well if I wasn't here?

"We don't. I don't."
"What?" I could hear Daryl asking in disbelief.

"Can't lose you too."

Then I heard a loud noise inside the stable and Daryl grunting, then I heard footsteps and my mother saying, "Are you all right?"

"Just leave me be!" Daryl shouted angrily at her. "Stupid bitch."
I heard more footsteps going to where I was. I hurried to get behind the other side of the stable so Daryl couldn't see me, I wouldn't want to deal with him right now that he was so upset and I didn't want to see my mother, I had no idea what I'd do or say to her about what she told Daryl. I was beyond pissed and disappointed. I just didn't want to deal with her right now.

Once Daryl and my mother had left the stable, I stood up and walked back to where the tents were. I found Teresa, Oliver and Sean there. Glenn was on top of the RV on lookout. He waved at me when he saw me.

"Hey, Cici!" they exclaimed.

"Hi!" I said, sitting in between Oliver and Sean. "Where is everybody?"

"Don't you know?" Sean asked me.

"Know what?" I asked, starting to get a little nervous.

"There are walkers in the barn," Teresa told me. "Apparently Hershel keeps them there because he thinks they are just sick."

"Are you for real?" I asked, not really believing it.

"Yeah, Hershel's wife and son are in there."

So that's why Beth got really uncomfortable when I talked about them during breakfast. They are in the barn, only feet away from us. I started to freak out.

"What are we going to do?"

"Rick will talk to Hershel, he says we can't do anything if Hershel doesn't agree. He might kick us out," Oliver said. "Shane is watching the barn, just in case."

"You, uh, you looked like something was bothering you when you came, what is it?" Oliver asked me.

"Nothing that matters now," I told him with a small smile. "Just stupid things. We have more important stuff to worry about, don't we?"

"Yeah," Sean agreed. "I hope Rick convinces Hershel. I can't just be here and pretend they aren't there, only some feet away from where I sleep. How am I going to be able to sleep now?"

"I hope we don't have to leave," Teresa said.

"We can't leave," I told them.

"Why not?" Sean asked me.

"Because my sister is still out there and we can't abandon her."

The three of them stayed quiet, not knowing what to say to me. I knew they think there was no hope anymore, that she was dead. I could see it in their eyes. I didn't blame them, anyone would start to lose hope, even my own mother did but I couldn't.

I stood up, nodded at them and walked away. I could hear them mutter things as soon as I was out of earshot, or so they thought but I could hear some of the words they said. They really did think Sophia was dead and that Rick, Daryl and I were just fooling ourselves.

I took a deep breath and continued to walk, I couldn't let that affect me. I just found out my own mother was giving up on Sophia, that was more than enough for me to handle.

I wasn't sure where I was going, I just wanted to get away. I wouldn't get into the woods or walk to far, I just needed to clear my head and calm down. As I walked I saw Daryl walking in the direction I had come from.

"I thought we were going to look for her... together," I exclaimed angrily, I didn't even know why I had gotten so angry out of nowhere.

"Shut up, Cecilia!" he exclaimed in a threatening tone.

"You said I shouldn't go alone that we were going to try to go together. You fucking lied!" I shouted.

"You were nowhere around! I needed to go! I saw my chance and took it!" he shouted too. "And what the hell? I don't need your permission or anything, why the hell are you shouting at me?"

"Because... because I wanted to go too," I said, it was lame. I actually had no idea why I was shouting at him.

"Well, too bad! Now none of us will go!"

I started to cry, not because of Sophia or anything bad that had happened lately but because of anger, rage. I was feeling so helpless and I couldn't do anything about it.

"Oh Christ," he exclaimed. "Don't pull that crap on me, girl! I'm not some kind of people's comforter! Stop being a stupid crying baby and grow up! You need to stop being so immature and grow up or you won't last long."

I stared in disbelief at him, I knew I provoked him but that didn't make it any better. He kept shouting things at me, hurtful things.

"Fuck you!" I screamed at him. I stepped forward raising my hand, I was about to slap him when he grabbed my wrist quite forcefully. I tried to get him to let me go but he just tightened his grip on me. He glared at me, I had never seen so much hatred in those piercing blue eyes as they had now.

"No, sweetheart, fuck you!" he said and then pushed me to the ground. I stared at him in complete shock. I stood up quickly, I stood tall in front of him. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me afraid of him.

He scoffed and then stormed away from me. When he was far away from me I just collapsed to the floor and the tears started to fall out of my eyes.

I exploded and I didn't even know why. Yeah, I was upset at my mother and even a bit at my friends but not at Daryl, I was anything but upset at him so why the hell did I just bombed him with my anger? Why did I ruin the friendship we had been building these couple of days?

I stood up quickly, wiped my tears and ran after him. I couldn't lose him. He was the only person that truly cares and believes we will find Sophia, he's the one that found me. He didn't deserve that.

Daryl had walked a lot but luckily he wasn't that close to the house or the camp yet so no one would be able to hear us.

"Daryl! Daryl!" I shouted at him. He didn't stop or turn so I kept shouting at him until he either stopped or I caught up with him, the latter happened.

"What?" he snap when I caught up with him and stood in front of him. "Came to shout more at me?"

"I want to apologize," I said in a calmed tone. "I'm sorry. I truly am."

"Whatever," he muttered and tried to walk past me but I stepped in front of him again.

"Look, I heard what my mum told you. I heard her saying we should stop looking for her and I can't explain how angry I am at her. My friends, they think I'm crazy because I still believe we will find her. I am just so angry at her, at them, at myself, at the whole world for letting this happen to her and I just took it out on you, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. You didn't deserve it."

There was a very long silence until Daryl broke it, "I'm sorry too, about pushing you. I should not have done that."

"It's okay, I probably needed it to get my ideas in order. If someone cares as much as I do about Sophia, it's you and I appreciate it."

"I know we will find her," Daryl told me. "I was very upset too because of your mother. She shouldn't give up on her daughter no matter what. I do believe she's out there, Cecilia. I'll find her."

"We'll find her." I nodded. "We will."

He smiled at me and nodded. I smiled back, knowing everything was good between us again and that made me really happy.

"So, we are good?" I asked, as we started walking back to the house together.

"I'm not too sure about that," he said teasingly. "You hurt my feelings, you know?"

"Right," I said sarcastically. "What feelings? You don't have feelings."

"Don't I?" he asked with a smirk, I just shook my head at him.

Then without warming, Daryl put his hands on my sides and started to tickle me. I was very ticklish. I eventually ended up in the ground with Daryl on top of me, straddling me, making me even more helpless.

"No! Please – Daryl – Stop! No!" I tried to say in between laughs.

"I don't have feelings, remember? So I don't really give a damn," he said with a smirk as he kept tickling me.

"Ple– Please!"

Daryl stopped, he had a triumphant smile on his face. I hated to admit but he won this time but he won't be so lucky next time. I closed my eyes and panted. I even had tears in my eyes from how hard I laughed.

"I think I just paid for my outburst a few minutes ago," I said. "That was torture."

"You might reconsider it before doing something like that to me again," he threatened, a small smile giving him away. "Or I might repeat what I just did."

"Oh God, no! Anything but that!"

Daryl just smirked at me. I looked into his blue eyes and I was relieved to see that the hatred was gone, I wouldn't be able to bear it if he really hated me. We stared into each other eyes until Daryl coughed and looked away.

He stood up and offered me his hand, I took it and he pulled me up quickly. I noticed he instantly reached his side after it.

"Still hurts, huh?" I muttered.

"It has gotten better," he told me. "Let's go."

Daryl and I walked back to the house together. We kept teasing each other and Daryl even tried to tickle me again, I ran away and he tried to catch me but he had to stop because of his injury, I smirked at him this time while he just rolled his eyes and muttered, "Whatever."

As we got closer to the house, we noticed everyone was in front of the house, apparently chilling. Maggie, Beth, Patricia, Carl, Teresa, Oliver, Sean, Glenn, T-Dog and Andrea were there. I turned to look at Daryl and for some reason he looked pissed.

"Isn't anybody taking this seriously? We got us a damn trail!" he shouted, then he looked in the other direction like everybody else. "Oh, here we go."

Shane was coming our way, almost not limping at all and carrying the bag of guns. Since I saw him I could tell he was up to no good.
"What's all this?" Daryl asked him.

"You with me, man?" Shane simply asked him, handing him a rifle, which Daryl took.

"Yeah," he muttered.
"Time to grow up," he told us.
"Thought we couldn't carry," T-Dog said.
"We can and we have to," Rick replied. "Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe but now we know it ain't. How about you, man? You gonna protect yours?" he asked to Glenn, handing him a rifle as well. Glenn looked at Maggie first before taking the rifle in his hands.
"Can you stop?" Maggie exclaimed. "You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight!"
"We have to stay, Shane," Carl spoke up before I could.
"What is this?" Lori asked, rushing to us.

"We ain't going anywhere, okay?" Shane said. Now look, Hershel, he's just gotta understand, okay? He – Well, he's gonna have to." Then he knelt in front of Carl and took out a small pistol. "Now I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. You know how."

"Shane, you can't..." I started but he interrupted me.
"Go on, take the gun and do it," he said to Carl.
"Rick said no guns," Lori exclaimed, stepping in front of Carl. "This is not your call. This is not your decision to make."
"Oh shit!" T-Dog exclaimed, making us all look at whatever he was looking now.

I narrowed my eyes and it took me a few seconds to realize it was Jimmy, Hershel and Rick, and if I wasn't wrong they were pulling some walkers with them... what?
"Uncle! Uncle! Where the hell are you going?" Sean asked Shane as he ran towards them, making us all ran after him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shane shouted.

"Shane, just back off!" Rick exclaimed. He had a snare pole, the ones used for strayed dogs, and with it he was pulling a walker.
"Are you kidding me? You see? You see what they're holding onto?" Shane shouted, walking around them like a vulture.

"I see who I'm holding onto," Hershel exclaimed, emphasizing the 'who'.
"No, man, you don't," Shane said.
"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk!" Rick said.

By now Daryl already had the rifle pointing at one of the walkers, I took out my own gun and pointed at the others. I never even found out we couldn't carry guns here so I kept mine all this time. "What you want to talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick. They're not people! They're dead! Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us!"
"Shane, shut up!" Rick yelled at him.

"Hey, Hershel man, let me ask you something. Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?" Shane asked as he took out his gun and shot at the walker that Hershel was pulling. "That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?! Why is it still coming?" he shouted as he shot it again. "That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?" he added and shot it another three times.

"Shane, enough," Rick told him sternly.
"Yeah, you're right, man, that is enough," Shane said as he approached the walker and finally shot it in the head, killing it. It fell to the ground, bringing Hershel with it who seemed quite stunned about it. "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!"

Well, that hurt.

"Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Enough. Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now!"
Rick tried to get Hershel to grab the snare pole but he was too shocked to react. He was like in a trance. Shane was running towards the barn, trying to get it open. I agreed with Shane that we had to kill them but this wasn't the way but it was happening, so all I did was pointing at the barn doors, having my gun ready.

Shane managed to break the padlock and removed the chain. I didn't know how many walkers were inside but I took a deep breath to prepare myself, I couldn't freeze now.

"This is not the way! Please!" Rick begged but Shane wasn't listening.

Maggie ran to her father then and put a supporting hand on his shoulder. Lori got in front of Carl to protect him, Patricia and Beth just hugged each other.

Slowly the doors of the barn were opened and we saw the first walker, followed by another and another. They were all dressed like farmers, like Hershel. Shane shot the first walker and then T-Dog, Glenn, Daryl, Andrea, and I started to shoot. Shane shot the walker Rick was pulling with the snare pole. Rick took out his gun but he didn't join us.

We killed walker after walker, there were probably twenty or twenty-five inside of the barn and now they were all dead or so we thought so I lowered my gun but then we heard more moans inside the barn, but these moans were fainter and they sounded a bit different from the others.

A few seconds later the walker stepped out and I almost died right there. I felt like if my heart was being stabbed over and over again. I shook my head in denial as I saw my sister walking out of the barn.

Her clothes were dirty, her hair was a mess and she had a big gash on the left side of her neck. In that moment I felt like if time slowed down but at the same it went faster than usual. I felt my head was spinning, damn, I felt my whole body spinning.

"No! No! No! No! No!" I kept whispering as Sophia walked towards us. My voice started just as a whisper and then got louder and louder until I was yelling at the top of my lungs. "No! No!"

I just stared at what was in front of me in disbelief. I felt how my world crashed down and broke into million pieces. Everything I hoped for, vanished right before my eyes.

"No!" I screamed once again but this time I started walking, it was like my feet had a mind of their own as I made my way forward.

"Cecilia!" I heard my name being called and not from just one person but several, my mind was all over the place so even when I heard them, I didn't listen and I ignored them all.

I was only a few feet away from Sophia when I felt warm arms around me, stopping me from keep walking to her, I hit the person in the arms and tried to get them off of me but the person wouldn't let go. I kept struggling and screaming but no change, they didn't give up.

"Don't watch," the person, obviously male said to me but I couldn't stopped watching.

I saw how she walked through the dead-dead walkers, trying to get us and with every step she took, everything got more real to me, like with every step she took, my hope and dreams went with her, leaving only the cruel reality.

I heard a shotgun and I saw how her frail body fell to the ground with a thud. More tears rolled down my face, I felt my legs getting so weak they gave up under my weight and I collapsed to the ground, bringing the person down with me, but still he didn't let go of me.

I couldn't take it anymore, I turned around and buried my head in his chest. I stopped struggling, I stopped screaming, I just stopped.

I lifted my head a bit and saw my mother being held as well until she harshly broke free from Daryl's grip and stormed away, all the anger I felt earlier towards her vanished, it wasn't important anymore. A part of me wanted to follow her and another part of me wanted to be all alone, so I just stayed there, doing nothing.

"I can take it from here," I heard a male voice saying right next to me.

The person who was holding me, nodded, unwrapped his arms around me and stood up, leaving me on the ground for a couple of seconds, once that person was up, both people helped me get back on my feet and finally I looked up at the person who stopped me getting any closer to Sophia and held me, it was Glenn. A part of me thought it could be Teresa at first, but the person was definitely a male so I thought that it might be Oliver, but I couldn't even see any of them right now.

Glenn looked sadly at me as he rubbed my shoulder before walking away towards the white house, probably to check on Maggie, thus leaving me with none other than Daryl.

He looked shocked and in his eyes I could see how much in pain he was but he was trying to be strong for me, I didn't know why and right now I didn't really care.

"Come on," he told me and grabbed my arm softly, pulling me with him but I stumbled, I was shaking so bad that my legs were going to give in again at any moment. Daryl sighed and put an arm around my waist, supporting me, just like when we were walking in the woods or when I was helping him to get out of the house and we spent the night watching the night sky.

We were halfway gone on our way to the RV when he sighed again and then he lifted me up bridal style, I guess he got sick of the low pace. I only hid my face in the crook of his neck and put my arms around his neck in case he let go of me but I didn't complain or anything, I didn't care about anything anymore. The pain of falling wouldn't be anything compared to what I was feeling right now.

Daryl walked inside the RV and set me on the table, then he turned around and grabbed a cloth and carefully rubbed the cloth on my cheeks, wiping my tears away. He was so delicate like if he was afraid I would break at his touch.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly, making more tears fall from my eyes. I just shook my head at him.

I took a deep breath and tried not to cry anymore. I didn't want to keep crying. I managed to achieve it but who knows for how long.

Daryl put the cloth next to me on the table, then stared at me, probably wondering what to do with the mess that I was. He probably had never comforted anyone in his entire life and to be honest he also needed to be comforted at the moment, I could see it in his piercing blue eyes that now were filled with tears but if one fell from his eyes, I didn't see it.

He noticed I was looking into his eyes, so he lowered his gaze and looked at my hands, that were resting on my lap. He quickly took them in his and kept looking at them.

"I did this, didn't I?" he asked, referring to the bruise that was forming when he gripped my wrist tightly when I was about to slap him.

"It doesn't matter," I choke out, my voice was hoarse and unrecognisable.

"I'm so sorry."

Then he let go of my hands and he slowly tucked one strand of my blonde hair behind my ear, leaving his hand there, brushing my cheek.

Then I did something out of impulse. In a fast movement I wrapped my arms around Daryl's torso, I could feel how his breathing went faster but he didn't make me let go of him or say anything to me. Instead, he put his arms around my shoulders and brought me closer to him.

I had only hugged Daryl once, two days ago. I went to his room to thank him for looking for me and for finding me and I got this urge to hug him so I did, just like now.

I didn't know why but he had a calming effect on me, I felt like no matter how bad things were now, they would get better.

I didn't know how much time we spent like that, in each other's arms but I really wanted to freeze time and stay like that forever but I eventually had to let go.

"Thank you," I muttered.

"What for?" he asked.

"For being here for me," I said, putting my hand on his muscular arm, giving it a little squeeze. "For risking your own life for us and for looking for Sophia even more than me and my mother. That means a lot and..."

I wanted to tell him more, I wanted him to know how grateful I was for all the the things he had done to me in these last few weeks but I couldn't, I felt a lump in my throat and I didn't want to break down again so I just stopped in mid-sentence.

After trying to get words out but failing I gave up and instead leaned forwaed and softly kissed Daryl's cheek, he looked really taken aback but said nothing or did nothing. He just looked deeply into my eyes as I pulled away.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me," I managed to get out, barely audible but I know he did hear me.

It was incredible that only two weeks ago or so he was just the person that let me stay in his tent, the person that went hunting and usually fed the camp. He was the person I shared a room with and the person who I had most fights with, even more than Merle. We just were like camp-mates but now I felt like he had become a special friend to me, like our almost not existent bond suddenly grew and got so strong that I was just tied to him, like it or not.

"And you have no idea how much you mean to me," he said, louder than me but just as softly and this time he was the one that pulled me in for a hug.

"Thank you, Daryl," I said against his chest as I hug him back.

First of all, I want to dedicate this chapter to a friend of mine, who sadly passed away on October 1st. Coincidentally, I was writing this chapter when it happened. I wasn't really that close to him but it affected me greatly and I thought it was the right thing to do to dedicate this to him.
His father is my coach and I'm very fond of him and his family.

** As always please comment and thanks for reading 3