So it goes with saying that only things I own with any connection to MARVEL I bought on Ebay or Etsy. MARVEL COMICS & MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE are their own creatures and I have nothing to do with either of them aside from the fact I enjoy reading or watching them, and am grateful for the ability to play in their world. I claim nothing, and I receive nothing for this, expect the pleasure of putting something out into the world.

You can also find this story on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN under the same title and pen name along with a place to post suggestions.

Don't forget to check out the Photobucket album listed on my profile page too.

DAY THREE

CHAPTER FIFTY THREE

THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012

0842 HOURS

SUBTERRANEAN BUNKER

LOCATION UNKNOWN

NORA

I broke a chair on that door! That might have been impressive if the armchair hadn't been sitting unused and wearing away for the last fifty or so years, or if I hadn't sprained my damn wrist doing it. I hope I only sprained it, anyway.

I was so mad, I'm still so mad! I hate this kind of anger because I can't do anything with it. It only sits in me and festers, reminding me how friggin useless I am.

Loki says I'm a goddess from Asgard. Asgard, the place Thor came from. That blonde hammer wielder could probably pull this door right off its hinges with no problem. This door wouldn't stop him, it wouldn't even stop Clint or Natasha, but it stops me!

That bastard just left me hanging, but worse is the way he left. He just 'phased' out of the room, leaving me grasping at a substanceless image in the air, leaving me so frustrated and confused I started taking it out on the furniture. If I make enough noise maybe he would come back. That kind of logic doesn't even work for a child throwing a tantrum.

"Why wouldn't he tell me?" I'm not really asking anyone. I'm sitting in a 'W' with my un-sprained hand resting on the floor in front of me for support, and several broken sections of the chair around me. Leave it to my kitten though to give me an answer.

His little meow is plaintive and cautious, not that I'm surprised by that. If I was his size I'd be worried too while a giant was smashing my environment. But the giant is still his mama, so when I chuckle softly and hold out my hand it only takes him a moment to meow with more confidence and start rubbing his head against my hand.

His affection hurts a little, given what I did to my wrist, but I ignore it. Its not his fault and it's nothing compared to the pain I've already lived through. He doesn't even notice the way each stroke over his fur is weaker and slower then usually, he is just happy I'm not visibly mad anymore.

I'm still pretty furious, but I'm channeling that energy in a different direction now. He said 'this is the one truth you must remember for yourself'. So I'm gonna try and figure it out.

Up until now, he has answered all my questions, and the fact that he refers to it as 'the one' says whatever it is I don't know must be huge. So if its that big of a thing, then maybe I remembered a small piece of it already, I just don't know it.

I've been dreaming about Asgard, I know that much now. A stunning landscape rising out of a floating sea of clouds, with a castle in the middle of it all, made of towers rising higher and higher the further in they go. So tall you can see it from every corner of Asgard.

I lived in that land; I probably saw that castle everyday, maybe more. If I knew Loki I was in that palace at least a few times in my life. Would I know those halls if I went back to Asgard? Would Asgard know me?

The idea of seeing a place like that made me forget something very important for a moment, I wasn't welcome there anymore. I'd been banished I couldn't just go back they wouldn't let me. I'm sure they have defenses, and guards.

And a large african man in golden armor with a golden sword. I remember that too. Though I don't think calling him African is right anymore, not now that I know he isn't from earth. Heimdall. I know more about him from Erik than I do Loki. Loki only mentioned him once, but Erik told me the myths, and with that knowledge in mind I know the Stoic Sentry standing in that golden domed room must be him.

He stood before me while others stood behind me, some I hated though I saw no faces in that dream. My accusers perhaps, maybe even Odin himself given how much I hated that group. I said I would never relent. It didn't make sense before, but in the context of banishment, its something I would have said as I stood on the bifrost.

I did stand on the bifrost! That realization mentally knocks the wind out of me for a second. I stood on the rainbow bridge. A thing straight out of mythology. I was standing on it waiting to be sent away. Waiting to be sent to earth, through a wormhole. Six hundred years ago I traveled through a wormhole and landed in viking Norway!

I was in viking Norway. That strikes me too because it makes me realize something I never considered. I could be one of those myths Erik talked about. If I was walking around among these people, did I hide it, could I hide it? Or was I worshipped by them? Was I person who would have wanted to be worshipped by them? After all they sacrificed not just animals but people to their gods, would I have been okay with that? The woman I am now isn't.

No, I don't think I was. It doesn't fit. I remember a man covered in soot and wearing rough clothes. A blacksmith maybe. I remember a little boy. His clothes were cleaner, but still rough as well. If I was being worshipped as a goddess the people with me would be treated just as well. That boy would be wearing gold and silk, not sheeps skin and wool.

That child is important, to me at least. Loki doesn't seem to know anything about him, which I suppose makes sense. That boy was part of my life on earth, not on Asgard. I think that child was mine, not that I gave birth to him of course. I don't know how genetics work on Asgard, but I still don't see a brunette having a child that blonde, I think I adopted the boy.

In these visions I feel so much love for that child, enough that even now just thinking about it my eyes are wet with joy. I was a mother. I've always wanted to be a mother, and I was once. And I had a daughter.

The thought almost slips my notice, given the twinge of pain behind my eyes making me close my eyes. But after I rub it away I'm confused why my thoughts said daughter. I was thinking about a blonde that was very clearly an aqua green eyed 'boy'.

The eyes. Wait a minute. The boy's eyes weren't aqua green, they were blue. They only turned aqua green in the dream where he was burning, when his skin and hair turned brown. ...No...

Jareth lets out a surprised squeak as his half finished trip to sleep was disrupted by my sudden stand, but I barely notice. I need to find something with a reflection! Please, please, no, please let me be wrong!

I practically rip the room apart until I find a mirror in the drawer of the desk, yanking on it so hard because it gets stuck half way that all its contents fly free. The glass of the mirror cracks the plastic frame but it still holds it together enough for me to look in it. But once I do I almost wish I didn't.

A little girl with chubby cheeks and chocolate curls. No...!

The humming of a song, filled with love, but not the romantic kind, a lullaby. No...!

Holding a child's hand as we played in the fields, in matching purple dresses. No, no it can't be!

Watching her long lashes flutter in her sleep. No!

Something deared and deeper in my heart then the man I love. WHY!?

I dreamt of a little girl with hair and skin like mine, and I thought it was me. But my eyes are not aqua green. There not that shade, but Loki's are. I'm not the little girl, I was never the little girl, the little girl is mine.

My daughter! His daughter! Our daughter! I'd choose banishment a thousand time over before I ever choose to give up my child willingly. I was banished because I had the child of a prince. Odin sent me away from my own daughter?!

That's not even the part that bothers me the most. It only pisses me off, but the other part has me screaming.

I'm a mother. I have a child out there. I forgot my baby, and god help me I want to forget again that I forgot her!

NOTES FOR THE READERS:
For those of you who check out the galleries I post for the individual chapters on PHOTOBUCKET you might have noticed I haven't added the last few. My apologies for that, but my schedule has been very busy lately and I haven't had time to dig through the mess of my idea folder and find the ones that inspired or match those details. Hopefully I will be able to catch those up soon. Thank you for your understanding.