"I may not have gone where I intended to go,

but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

I saw those eyes. The eyes I never thought I would see again, except on myself. Tears were falling out of them, down below her mouth, which was covered with both her hands.

"Mum?" I choked out.

I couldn't believe it. My mother was standing in front of me. She had blood on her forehead, she looked weak and she was dirty but she was alive, wasn't she? I really hoped I was not hallucinating. I turned to look at Rick to ask him why he told me she was dead but he just shrugged with a smile before I could ask, probably knowing what I was going to ask him.

It took us around a minute, but finally my mum walked towards me and hugged me tightly. It was probably harder for her to believe that I was here than what it was for me to believe she wasn't dead. I cried in her arms as I hugged her as tight as I could, I never thought I would miss her this much.

"Thank God!" she muttered. "Thank God!"
"How?" Hershel asked, making us break apart.
"She fought her way into a cell," Daryl said. "Must have passed out. Dehydrated."

It was then when Beth approached my mother, I noticed she was holding a baby and it was then all made sense in my head. They were looking for formula, Glenn and Maggie... oh shit, Glenn and Maggie, I have to tell them but I wasn't going to spill it, I needed to tell Rick alone, maybe Daryl and him.

I turned to look at my mum, she looked as surprised as I did when I saw the baby, she had a huge smile on her lips. I was going to hold the baby when my arm started to hurt again so I just dropped my arms and looked sadly at the baby, I had to wait, so I just ran my hand through the baby's small head.
"I'm sorry," I heard her say, I looked up to see from the baby to her and I saw her crying and Rick was looking at the ground trying not to cry and in that moment I realized Lori was gone, she had died.

I turned to look at Carl and his blue eyes were filled with tears, even some of them were rolling down his face, he was biting his lips, trying not to cry but it was in vain.

"Carl," I muttered, taking a few steps towards him but he just shook his head at me and ran up the stairs.

"I have to talk to him," I told Rick. "But when I get back I need to tell you something."

"What about your wound?" Hershel asked.

"What wound?" Daryl exclaimed.

"It's nothing," I told him. "It can wait, Hershel. Michonne is worse than me, fix her up first. I will talk with Carl first and then Rick and then you can cure my wound, maybe that will give you enough time with her."

I walked up the stairs and looked inside every one of those cells. I found Carl in the very last one. He was sat on the floor, knees bent, head buried in them and his back against the grey wall. I leaned against the opposite wall and said his name, making him jerk his head up.

"I had no idea, I'm sorry."

"How could you know? You weren't here!" He wasn't excusing me, by his tone and the way he was telling me I could tell he was actually accusing me, he was extremely mad at me.

"Get it out," I told him. "It's not good to keep things inside." If only I could follow that advice.

Carl stood up quickly and took two steps towards me. I took a deep breath to prepare myself to what Carl had to say to me.

"Can you imagine what we all went through this winter and all these months? It was a nightmare! It really was! We went days without eating, we couldn't stay in a place for more than two days, we barely survived the winter, it was so cold and some of us..."

"I went through all of that as well," I said quickly. "But you are not upset about that."

"You're right. I was all alone, you know? My parents either avoided or screamed at each other, my dad barely paid attention to me because he's always so busy being the leader and keeping everybody alive and my mum..." He had to make a small pause because some tears fell down his face and his voice broke but then he raised his voice when he started talking again. "I barely talked to her, she changed. I couldn't stand her. I don't know if it was because of the walkers or the baby, but she changed and I couldn't even talk to her, I felt so alone. You were supposed to be here! You promised! During all those months I needed someone to be by my side, someone to trust, someone to be there for me but you weren't!"

"I know, I'm so sorry!" I said, my eyes filling with tears.

"And then we got here and it seemed perfect, you know? But someone left a door opened, Maggie, my mum and I ran inside the prison. We got separated from the group and right in that moment she felt like it was time, you know? Time for the baby to be born, she was bleeding, something was wrong." He started to cry again and all I wanted was to hug him but I knew I couldn't, not yet. "Maggie – she had to cut her open. I still hear her screams inside my head."

"Car..."

"I shot her, Cici! I shot my mum!" I gasped at him and this time the tears did fall down my face. "I needed you! My mum died! That's why Sophia died! You left her when she needed you, just like you left me!"

I won't deny that hurt really, really bad and it made me cry even harder but I also understood he was mad and that he really didn't mean it.

"You weren't there when I needed you the most, do you get that? My mum died and my father went crazy for days, you have no idea what it was like! Cici, she's gone and it was on me! I had to shoot her or she would have turned! I had no other choice!"

"I'm sorry I wasn't here, I would give anything to change that!" I cried. "I wish I could have been here, I wish you didn't have to go through that, especially alone. I'm sorry you have to carry that weight but now I'm here and I'm not leaving again and I'm willing to take that weight from you, Carl. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"I needed you!"

"I know and I feel extremely bad about it, you have no idea how bad and guilty I feel," I said, trying to stop my tears. "I thought every day of you, I prayed for you! You know how important you are to me, and I know that I broke my promise and that I wasn't here for eight long months but I'm here now and I promise that you will never feel alone again, okay?"

"How can I know you mean it?"

"You have to trust me."

Carl said nothing else, he just let himself drop back to the ground and went back to how I found him. I heard his sobs and I wasn't sure if I should leave him alone or sit right next to him. Bravely, I went to him and sat right next to Carl, I wrapped my arms around him and surprisingly he didn't push me away or shouted at me or nothing, he just let me comfort him and I just let him cry in my arms. He needed to vent, I let him do that, and now he needed to cry, so I was going to let him cry and I actually cried with him.

It really break my heart that this boy had been through so much and felt like he had no one, I did feel so guilty for not staying with him that night. It would have changed everything.

Minutes later I felt how Carl calm down, I wiped my own tears first and wiped Carl's then. His beautiful blue eyes were bloodshot and puffy.

"I have to talk to your dad, it's extremely important, but I will come back as soon as I can," I told him.

I let go of Carl and stood up, I stuck out my hand to him and once he took it, I pulled him up and led him to the bed. I kissed the top of his head and left the cell. I walked down the stairs and noticed only Beth and my mother were still there.

"They went with your friend," Beth told me before I could ask.

Beth stood up and led me to the cafeteria, where they had Michonne, when I saw Rick's expression I knew Michonne had told them Glenn and Maggie had been kidnapped.

"Is it true? She is saying the person that shot her took Glenn and Maggie, is it true?" Rick asked me and I nodded. "And she is saying she knows the way and that we can sneak in, is that right?"

"It's not that from here, we could take you there, I want to save Glenn as well. We have to be smart to sneak in, people guards every corner of that town but it's possible."

"Alright, we will go there as soon as possible," Rick said. "Did the same person shoot you too?"

"No," I said looking down at my arm. "We were being hunted by four men, one of them shot me."

"Hunted?" Daryl asked very surprised.

"It's a long story," I muttered. "I'll tell you but now we have to think about how to save Glenn and Maggie." Daryl nodded. "Rick, can I talk to you?"

"Sure."

Rick grabbed me by my good arm and pulled me out of the room, luckily Daryl didn't follow us. I took a deep breath before talking but Rick beat me to it.

"I'm sorry about what Carl said, I heard some of it, he was..."

"No, he needed to get it out. He is feeling that way and it's good that he told me. He will feel better," I said with a faint smile. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about, at least not now."

"About Glenn and Maggie? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Everything happened so quickly, first Michonne almost passed out, then I found out my mum was dead then that she wasn't and then Carl, I was going to tell you right now, I'm sorry, I should have told you since we were on the other side of the fence away from those walkers, I should have, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Cecilia, it's fine."

"I don't know how many should know this Rick but I know the person that shot Michonne and took Glenn and Maggie," I whispered, not wanting the others to hear. "It was Merle, Rick. He's alive, and he is a valuable member of that town. He asked them about Daryl, he probably took them to get information."

"Shit," Rick exclaimed, running his hand through his curly hair. "Merle, for real?"

"We were going to go to the farm to look for all of you, I offered to take him because I also wanted to make sure you hadn't come back but he and other men were after Michonne, I had to save her so I escaped."

"Why were they hunting her?"

"Once you go inside Woodbury you can't leave and if you leave they go after you and kill you, that town is not what it looks like," I said. "Michonne told me she found the National Guard vehicles in there, they had blood and bullet holes, the Governor and his men killed them all, Rick."

"In that case we must hurry to take them out of there."

"Cecilia!" I heard Hershel calling me. "Your turn!"

"Go," Rick told me. "I'll gather the rest so we can discuss what we can do."

"Rick, are Sean, Teresa and Oliver really okay? Because I haven't seen them yet and maybe you just wanted to protect me because of my mother and..."
"They are all okay, I promise," Rick assured me. "They are just helping around, I'll send them here as soon as I see them."

I walked back into the cafeteria, I told Daryl Rick needed to talk to him, he nodded at me and left. I sat down in front of Hershel so he could cure my wound.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened to you?" I asked him as he started to clean the wound.

"It was during one of the first days here, we had already cleared out one block and outside. We ventured further inside, me, Glenn, Rick, Maggie, Daryl, we got separated. I was looking for Maggie, I walked too close to one that seemed dead, he bit my leg."

"You were bit?" I almost shouted at him.

"Yeah, you have no idea how much it hurt. Luckily Rick cut my leg and I woke up a few hours later, he saved my life. That day they found Oscar and Axel, they were convicts here but those two are part of the group now."

Hershel told me there were three other convicts in here and told me how each one of them died. He also told me lots of things that happened in the last eight months, he even told me they just found out my mother was alive, that it was not a sick joke or anything like that, they truly believed she had died.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"Only some days, can't be more than three weeks. You are extremely lucky to be here, to find us. It's a miracle."

"I'm sorry about your daughter, about Maggie," I said. "I promise I'll find her."

"Are you sure you want to go? The others won't like the idea of you going," Hershel said.

"Why not? From what I heard, Michonne is going and she is worse than me. I could have saved them Hershel, they were in front of me and I saw how they were taken, I owe them."

"If you had tried to help them you could be with them now or dead and we would have never know where they were taken. It wasn't your fault, Cici," he told me. "What I tried to say before was that they won't want you to go because you just got here, we all missed you, we all thought you were dead. Look at Carl for example, he may not say it but he would hate it if you go."

"But he has to unders... Ouch!"

I had never been stitched, not before or after it all happened, at least not when conscious, and let me tell you, it hurts and it's uncomfortable. Michonne just kept rolling her eyes at me every time I whined.

After Hershel was done with the stitches Beth gave me some of her clothes so I could change, I told her I would change later because I would get them dirty anyway but she insisted and she also made me to have a quick shower to get all the walker guts off of me.

"You are not going, are you?" Beth asked me.

"I have to, Beth, I know where they have them."

"That woman knows too, why can't you stay while she goes?"

"I have to save Glenn and Maggie," I told her. "Besides they trust me, they don't trust her. I need to go."

"Rick, Daryl and Oscar are going, what if you don't come back?"

"I always do," I said cockily but unfortunately I didn't get Beth to smile, so I sighed in defeat. "I have to go, I..."

I was interrupted when I heard a female voice a few feet away. I turned around and saw Teresa, Oliver and Sean, they all looked so different from the last time I saw them. Oliver had longish hair now, it reached his chin and it was slightly wavy, Sean had always had long hair but now it was even longer, and now it seemed like he had lost some of the muscle he had. Teresa was extremely thin and had cut her brown hair to chin length, it actually suited her.

Sean was the first to see me, he gasped at me and after he reacted he ran to me and gave a me big hug, followed closely by Oliver and Teresa.

"Cici? Oh my God! I can't believe it!" Oliver said with tears in his dark blue eyes.

"They told us they had a surprise for us," Teresa told me, she was crying as well. "I thought maybe more clothes or food, or weapons but not you, oh my God! Are you real?"

"I'm real," I said chuckling. "I'm as real as all of you."

"How did you get here?" Sean asked me.

"Pure luck," I said. "I'll tell you the story when I come back."

"Come back?" Teresa asked me. "But you just got here, you can't leave!"

"I already argued with Beth don't make me argue with you as well."

Before anyone else could tell me I couldn't or shouldn't go, I got inside the car in the passenger seat so I could see the road better and give the directions to Rick, speaking of whom, I saw him talking to Carl through the rear mirror, it seemed like Rick heard what Carl said about feeling alone and he was making an effort to make it up to him, I was so concentrated on watching them that I didn't notice someone had opened the door of the car.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Waiting for all of you," I said in a duh tone.

"You are injured," he told me, giving me a look. "You ain't going."

"It's nothing, Daryl. I already argued with Hershel, Beth, Sean, Teresa, Oliver and I won't argue with anyone else, I'm going and it's final."

"Why are you so stubborn, Peletier?"

"Don't call me that, Dixon. It reminds me of my father," I said with a shake of my head.

Turned out everyone was against me going and I did argue with everyone, Daryl, Rick, even the two convicts that I didn't even know. But none of them managed to get me out of the car, I told them I could take care of myself, I did exactly that the last eight months and obviously succeeded, so they should just stop treating me like if I was a porcelain doll.

"Well, in that case," Daryl said to me, referring to me going back to Woodbury. "You'll have to carry me all the way there."

I wasn't sure what he meant until he sat on me, damn, he was heavy. I tried to get him off of me but there was no way, he even leant on me, almost squashing me. I tried to push him off but I couldn't.

"Daryl, she needs to breath," Rick told him as he got on the driver's seat. "I'm serious, move!"

He stopped leaning on me but he kept sat on my legs. Eventually we exchanged places, he sat on the seat and I sat on him, he wrapped his arms around my waist as I leaned on him like he had done with me minutes ago, and actually, he was quite comfortable so that was our position for most of the ride.

Sean, Michonne and Oscar, one of the convicts, came as well, Michonne went in between them, who were watching her as hawks. She also was helping to give the directions to Rick and tried to ignore Sean and Oscar. Eventually Michonne told Rick to stop the car, we were around two miles away from Woodbury.

"They have patrols," Michonne said as we got out of the car . "We're better off on foot."
"How far? Night's coming," Rick said as he looked up at the sky.
"It's a mile, maybe two," I told him.

All of us got our things from the trunk, I got two guns and a knife, Rick gave them to me, so I left my own weapons back at the prison, I probably only had a couple of bullets left so it would have been of no use.

"Stay close to me," Daryl said, but it seemed more like an order than an advice, I only nodded at him and did as he told me. I actually walked in between Daryl and Rick, while Michonne was ahead of us with Oscar and Sean.
"I know, what you did for me, for my baby, while I was working things out... thank you," Rick said to Daryl. So what Carl said was true, Rick really went a bit crazy.
"It's what we do," Daryl told him with a small shrug like it wasn't a big deal.
As we kept walking through the woods, I started to hear moaning and apparently I wasn't the only one to hear it, Daryl did too.

"Down!"

We all crouched to not be seen but it was no use, there were at least ten walkers coming our way. I stood up and grabbed my knife.
"Get in formation. No gunfire!" Rick ordered as he grabbed a big knife and killed the first walker.
Oscar, Daryl, Rick, Michonne and I killed walker after walker but more kept coming, by now there were probably thirty of them coming from every corner.
"There's too many of them!" Daryl exclaimed.
"This way!" Rick said loudly, walking away from them. I was right behind him, in front of Daryl, while Oscar and Michonne were behind Daryl and Sean was in the very back.

As we ran we saw a small wooden house, or at least I think it was a house. We ran to it and got inside quickly. The first thing I noticed was a horrible smell, I couldn't help but cover my nose with my hand.
"What's that smell?" I muttered.

We walked further into the house, checking it and we saw a dead animal, as we got closer to it we noticed it was a dog.
"I guess Lassie went home," Daryl muttered.

By now the walkers had caught up with us, they were outside, banging on the door and walls, trying to get in. Rick and Daryl slowly approached the bed, it seemed like something was under the cover, which Rick grabbed quickly and I never expected to see that under it. It was a man. And he was armed.

"Who the hell are you?" the man shouted.

"We don't mean any harm," Rick whispered.
"Get outta my house!"

"Okay, okay. We will, but we can't right now," Rick said, keeping his voice down.
"Now!"

"Shut him up," Michonne muttered.
"I'll call the cops!" If there weren't about two or three dozens of walkers trying to get inside to eat us I would have laughed at the man.

"I am a cop. Now I need you to lower the gun. Don't do anything rash. Everything is fine. Let's just – let's just take this nice and slow, okay? Look at me," Rick said, trying to get the man to calm down.
"Show me your badge," the man exclaimed, pointing his rifle right at Rick's face, who had his hand up in surrender.

"It's in my pocket. Now, I'm just gonna reach down nice and slow," Rick said, starting to lower his hands, and then he suddenly pushed the weapon out of the man's hand and Rick grabbed him quickly while I grabbed the rifle.
"Let go! Let go of me! I'll kill you! You let go of me!"

"Shut up! Shut up!"

Somehow the man got free of Rick's grip and ran towards the door, asking for help but before he could reach the door, Michonne stabbed him close to his shoulder and she just looked at us with a 'why-the-hell-didn't-you-do-it-earlier expression.

Oscar and I checked the back door, it was clear. Rick, Sean and Daryl grabbed the man by each side of him and when Michonne opened the door, they threw him to the walkers so we could have a chance to escape. I was the first to go out, followed by Michonne, who was limping. We passed the front of the house and luckily all the walkers were focused on the man and none of them saw us as we ran away.

QOTD: If you were part of the group, who would be your best friend?

And finally Carl confessed what it was bothering him, what do you think about that?

I have nothing to say today but I hope you enjoy the chapter and please comment :)