Here's another AU! An imaginary scene where Emma confronts Killian about his wacko behavior after Zelena cursed his lips and promised to kill everyone. Kinda angsty, not usually my thing but I figured I'd give it a try. Let me know your thoughts!

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or any of the affiliated characters

7. Why

"You know, I can tell that you're avoiding me," she says gently. "Why?" Her eyes express the confusion she feels. She's always confused around him lately.

"Nothing," he mumbles. He looks down at the water, staring at his reflection: A selfish pirate trying so desperately to be a hero. Inwardly, he scoffs, wondering cynically how long he can delude himself with that charade.

Next to his reflection is Emma's. She is looking it him. "I can tell when you're lying," she reminds him lightly, and tries again. "What's wrong?"

The reasons swirl in his mind, circling and repeating themselves until he thinks they'll echo forever, tormenting him with the reminder that she can never know. He only shakes his head.

Her hand covers his, and he stiffens, pulling it away. "I can't." His words are sharp, terse.

In the water, he sees one of her eyebrows raise in disbelief. She isn't one for being kept out of things, and as this involves her, he can't blame her. "Can't or won't?" she interrogates.

There is no hesitation. "Can't."

To smother the faint glimmer of hope and happiness she has only just adopted since her return from New York, to give to her the burden of knowing that the only choice she has is determining the time of the death sentences for all her friends and family...

Lose your magic or watch everyone you love die.

He could never do that to her.

She is silent after his response, prompting him forward, quietly. He can't stand to see her hurt, and something inside of him burns knowing that he is the one causing her pain. "You, Emma, are quite possibly the strongest and most selfless person I have ever known. Permit me for once to follow your example."

"For once?" she asks, not willing to reveal how unsettled she is by his sincerity. Her hand gestures vaguely out to the sea. "What about what you just did for Ariel?"

"It wasn't me," he responds, quickly and somewhat bitterly. "I had no part in it." He closes his eyes, disgusted by the man he sees in the water below, and anxiously runs his fingers through his hair.

"Okay, fine, you didn't." Emma pulls away slightly, wondering why he is so adamant, so frustrated. His evasiveness makes her all the more determined to continue. "But you're the furthest thing from a coward."

His voice is harsh as he degrades himself. "Agree to disagree, Swan." He shakes his head to himself and begins to stand. "I should be going."

She can do nothing but gape at this depressed man, who is most certainly not the pirate she has grown accustomed to, has grown much too fond of lately. In less than two days, the cocky, provocative attitude has disappeared, only to be replaced by this empty shell. Already, she misses their witty banter, the way he watches her when he thinks she doesn't notice, the way her heart falters when she catches him looking at her.

Her hand snatches his, refusing to let go as he stiffens at the contact again. "I miss you," she admits before she can stop herself. He turns his head, and a brief spark of hope begins to develop within her; at least he is no longer trying to walk away.

He keeps his gaze on their hands, the source of connection between them, recognizing with an ache that this will be the extent of their relationship. He considers trying to run again, but she intertwines their fingers and he understands he has been caught. She caught him a long time ago.

His eyes close, his lips part, as if her action alone has the ability to drive him wild. "Talk to me," she entreats. "Don't shut me out. Please, Killian." The sound of his name on her lips is a lullaby, luring him.

Involuntarily, he starts to lean forward, and memories come flooding back - memories of giants and magic beans, of sword fights and arguments, of a stolen kiss and the force of a knee to a rather uncomfortable body part.

To him, it was over a year spent fulfilling the vow that he would think everyday of her smile and her laugh, her wit and her courage...

But if he could last this long, he could last another day.

He stopped but a few inches from her face. "I can't." He says it gently, and the softened tone seems to soften her response.

"Why not?"

The real reason is one he cannot risk; he would rather die than allow her family one instant of peril, than allow her one moment of dread. He tells her the next best thing, one of the truths he is still certain of.

He lifts his head, braces himself, and looks her in the eyes. She searches his face, immediately hunting for the explanation for the forlorn demeanor that he has demonstrated all week. "I care too much."

Despite the gravity expressed on his countenance, she has to smile. "You do understand that doesn't make much sense."

"On the contrary, it makes perfect sense."

He hesitates before he finally turns away, giving her enough time to see the apology in his eyes and wonder why.

I'm one of those people that yells at the TV so there was a lot of distress on my part when I was watching those episodes and I wanted to explore what may have been going on in Killian's noble, adorable head. Too much drama? Let me know your thoughts!