A/N: This one covers a lot of stuff already covered in previous chapters but from Jon's POV. It might not make the most exciting reading but I felt it was necessary. I have a Cersei chapter coming soon. I'm busting to write that one. I'm thinking it might be close now, maybe two chapters away.

Chapter 40: Jon

Jon's thoughts wandered to Arya often. Many of the new recruits showed promise though Jon was not certain they would stick to the oaths. Whatever had prompted them to join the Night's Watch it was not an urge to serve the realm. Many of them would make passable rangers though and the Watch really did need more rangers.

Melisandre was giving him space. He had made it clear that he had no interest in speaking with her. She now lingered by her fires. Jon could not forget the look on Arya's face when he had spoken of the vision. He remembered her temper when she was a child. He felt fortunate that she had not held a grudge against him.

He took a gulp of his mulled wine and threw some corn in the direction of Mormont's raven. It shrieked then thankfully went silent for a while.

He had harboured doubts when she had pushed him to write to the prince to request the dragonglass for the Watch. He had not wanted to write and when he made himself sit down and put quill to parchment he knew his words sounded distant and harsh. It was not the way to ask for something from a would be king but Jon kept picturing Arya being unable to look at him.

It was not dishonour.

He knew he had weakened with Ygritte but this was different. The fingers on his sword hand opened and closed thinking about it. He could not bear the thought of a man preying on Arya. She might look strong but she was still a girl. She was still vulnerable even if she would not admit it. Tormund had spoken of her on the way back to the Wall. He had laughed about Jon not needing to worry about his sister being stolen. He was wrong. She has already been stolen.

Jon was surprised at how quickly he received a response bearing the Targaryen seal. When he opened it, the contents were even more surprising. The request was not questioned at all. The letter was warm, friendly even. Prince Aegon professed to want to be a friend to the Watch. He did not even mention Stannis being at the Wall, only that the dragonglass would be sent as soon as it was mined and ships procured to send it. Jon thought back to the paper shield he had sent to the Lannisters. He had not thought to send anything to the Targaryen. It appeared it wasn't needed. He pictured Arya's scowl when he had said no kings except Stannis had sent aid. She had said Aegon would not say no. She had been right.

He could not stop being reminded of his little sister. The stories of her were still growing and after having seen her he knew at least some were true. He had known instantly she was a warg like him. Rickon was too. He also had not forgotten her display in the training yard. Duck was not the most formidable warrior but he was still a knight of some skill. He had been hopelessly outmatched by Arya.

I have been practising my needlework.

He had let it drop when she said she had a Braavosi instructor but there had to be more to it. His sister had secrets. It looked as though people wanted to kill her for it. Every time he saw the squire who had tried to poison her he had to remind himself that past transgressions were to be forgotten at the Wall. If the boy took the black and that did look likely, he would be one of Jon's brothers.

He hoped that Arya was not marching to her death. He wished she was not joining the men who were marching on the Dreadfort. The castle was a fortress. It would not be taken easily. The North might incur heavy losses. Jon knew they were already well bloodied. There were experienced commanders amongst the bannermen. He could only hope they would find the safest course and keep his sister from harm. He knew Arya. She was stubborn and years had not changed that. He knew there was no point telling her to stay behind.

Waiting to hear the outcome weighed on him. As the snow fell he hoped they were not enduring too much difficulty. At the same time he was glad that it was just snow fall and not the true cold winds rising. He had sent rangers out and not all had returned. It was not the Weeper this time. The Others were out there. The Wall would not put them off forever.

Days passed and a raven came bearing the direwolf of Stark. Jon felt immense satisfaction to read that the Stark host had taken the Dreadfort. Arya confided that she had acted on her own for part of the plan and the men were wroth. He wondered what had possessed her. He also wondered how on earth she had pulled it off.

The last part of her letter had chilled him. He had thought Roose Bolton was dead. Not only had Arya found him alive, before he had died he had admitted to killing Robb. Jon dearly wished it had been him who had killed Bolton. It was on his mind a lot over the next days until it was announced that he had a visitor. Satin looked rather intimidated.

"Show them in"

Jon could understand when he saw her. The Lady of Bear Island was an imposing figure. He began to greet her, wondering why she was at the Wall when she took a knee.

"Your Grace"

He felt his mouth go dry and quickly urged her to rise. I do not like the sound of this.

"It is not necessary to kneel for the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch".

She fixed her gaze on him, her expression was stubborn and he was reminded of how the Old Bear had described her.

"It is necessary to kneel for my King".

She rose and passed him a piece of parchment. Jon read, his chest tightening when he saw it was in Robb's hand. He read it twice before putting it down.

"This can't be right" he said hoarsely.

"It is" Maege replied. "He named you his heir. You are rightful heir to Winterfell and King of Winter".

He thought of Winterfell, of Arya and Rickon. He remembered Stannis making him a similar offer, albeit one without the title of King and subject to conditions. He had wanted it then and turned it down. He wanted it still. Robb had wanted him to have it.

"What about my sister? What about Rickon? I can't disinherit them" he argued "and I swore an oath to the Night's Watch".

Maege's mouth tightened. "Our King named you his heir".

Jon hesitated. "He thought Bran and Rickon dead, Arya most likely too".

He could see the She-Bear was displeased.

"Can I have some time to think?"

She bowed her head and withdrew. Satin returned and Jon told him to find accommodations for the Lady of Bear Island.

Jon could not stop thinking. He remembered Melisandre's talk of his blood and the raven's incessant squawking at him about being King. He was uncomfortably reminded of hearing the word on the wind at Winterfell. He did not want the crown but he could not deny he wanted Winterfell. He wanted to be Jon Stark. If Rickon and Arya were not there he would be even more torn.

As his mind continued to torment him and he could not sleep his oath came back to him. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. He was uncomfortably reminded of Maester Aemon.

Choosing... it has always hurt. It always will.

This was his fourth time choosing. It seemed the gods did want to test him. The first he failed. His friends had honour enough to bring him back the first time. The second hurt, turning down the offer from Stannis but he knew it had been right. The third time had been folly and he had failed in that too. He had been willing to break his oath for his sister and it would all have been for nothing. This choice was different. This came down to honour and duty towards his family, not just the Watch. He was the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. He had a duty to his brothers and the realm but there was more than that.

If he broke his oath (and he felt that he would be, no matter if there were swords to replace him), what would it achieve? He would have Winterfell. He could be part of the battles taking place, he could get vengeance on those who had harmed his family and he could wear his brother's crown but what would it gain? He remembered Ygritte's words. You know nothing Jon Snow. He had learned. He would not displace his brothers and sisters. He would not abandon his post. He would be here when the Others came. The red woman had visited him two days earlier despite his protests and he had dismissed her but he still remembered what she had told him.

"Remember the true enemy Lord Snow".

She had known. She saw this coming.

Maege Mormont was back the next morning and he had his answer ready.

"I'm sorry my lady, I cannot be your King. I have made an oath and I will uphold it".

She scowled at him. He hastened to add his final words as she bowed her head and turned to leave.

"I am sorry about your brother. He was a good man".

Maege turned back to face him.

"We have lost too many good men" she said bitterly. "Your brother was one of them".

He could see she was unhappy with his refusal. The choice had not been easy, no matter what she thought of it. That did not change matters. Jon knew deep down he had made the right choice.

Postscript: I think it fits with Jon's character for him to refuse. I know people are itching to have Jon find out about his parentage. You know it is going to happen sometime, I've just chosen to have the poor guy deal with one thing at a time. This may be a bit rough. I'll check it tomorrow and edit if need be.