Chapter 4

It was already dawn, but Piper hadn't had any sleep. She sat on her bed, leaning against the window, gazing out.

After several hours, she had just come down from the high of powers rush. Sometimes it made her feel like she could fly into the sky. Other times like a ton of bricks on her conscience. Last night was something completely different. Never had she intentionally used her powers against other humans, but also with absolute control over it. Unlike the incident with Cal, this time Piper knew what she was doing, she went with it, and she got it right. Perhaps she had underestimated her hate for Alex all along. If hate was the thing to keep her powers in check, then she would gladly use that woman as her practice target.

Alex.

Piper frowned, dark circles under her eyes. No, she shouldn't think about her anymore. She had let the thought of that woman swirling around in her mind for much of last night. It had become too much. Her heart was exhausted by her own fire of hate. She had to stop.

Piper sighed, and lied down on the bed. She had just realized how tired she really was. Howard surely wouldn't let this incident go easily. Piper was still a newbie, yet she had already broken the rules; using powers outside of class, damaging Litchfield properties, and harming other resident. So much for trying to be discreet. Whenever she thought that she had her 'good girl' façade intact, the monster in her would awaken, come out of its hiding and ruin everything for her. She wondered what Howard would say to his son, and she already dreaded their next phone call. She wasn't sure how to explain why she suddenly attacked a fellow resident, while needing to keep her past relationship with Alex hidden.

That lying bitch. That vile piece of—

Piper's thought ceased at the sound of an object dropping onto the floor. She raised her shoulders to look down, but stopped at the sight of the pair of black-rimmed glasses. She could do nothing but stare at it, not quite sure what had possessed her then to pick them up and took them with her last night.

Fuck. Piper groaned and flopped back down on the bed.

Alex woke up at the sound of distant chatters and loud footsteps. She winced the first moment she opened her eyes. The pain on her body intensified as her mind became clearer. Her head was groggy, the cut on her forehead and arm stinging like a bitch. It hurt just to breathe.

Alex struggled, and eventually sat up. She then remembered where she was; she had spent the night in the lounge. Thanks to Lorna, she at least had a pillow and a blanket. Lorna even let her borrow Christopher's gray pajamas, Lorna's favorite, which she had kept for two years now. The tiny woman helped dress her wounds too. Alex sulked; none of her girlfriends were ever this kind to her, especially not a certain blonde she ran into last night.

Piper is really here. It was only a matter of time... But she should be safe here.

For some reason, Alex could never stay angry with Piper for too long, no matter what the woman had done. But perhaps last night had gone a little too far even by superheroes standard. Sure, their bodies were naturally stronger than normal humans, but it didn't mean that they could effortlessly endure severe beatings. Alex considered going to the infirmary last night, but her stupid pride stopped her, and she settled on sleeping on one of the couches in the lounge. Besides, she expected to get a call from Healy soon after having returned unannounced, not to mention how messy the whole thing turned out. She'd rather go to his office than let him see her on a hospital bed.

A few people came down to the lounge, and greeted Alex as they passed. She sighed happily. For a moment, it felt like no time had passed. Just like the old day. But she knew it wasn't true. Nothing was the same now.

Healy looked displeased. His thick brows sat stoically on his grumpy, square face. His blue eyes watched Alex like a hawk. She didn't have to wear glasses to see his absolute contempt for her; she felt it. It was his eternal crusade against the lesbians. His thick arms hugged across his big belly. She believed he had gained quite several pounds during the past eight years of her absence from Litchfield.

Alex paused when she realized how long she had been gone. She visited from time to time, but those days were far and few in between, and she never stayed for more than a few days at a time. Sadly, life outside of Litchfield hadn't taught her anything. She wasn't any better from when she left. She just got worse.

"You're squinting. Where are your glasses?"

"…I lost it."

"During the fight?" When she didn't respond, Healy continued, "It seems that you've lost your edge. The outside world must have done a number on you. 'Alex Vause' lost her glasses?" He darkly laughed.

It took Alex every ounce of willpower to remain silent. Her ego needed to be set aside for now. She needed a place to stay as she was completely broke at the moment. Sometimes she still couldn't believe what she had done to bring herself to this new low. She used to be young, successful and ruthless. But now her girlfriend just dropped her off because she was quickly becoming an extra baggage no one wanted.

Alex stared blankly at her feet. Maybe I should go for another faction and—

A knock came at the door, and Healy looked up. "Come in."

Piper took a deep breath in, and pushed the door open.

Healy was sitting behind his desk, smiling warmly at her, gesturing for her to come in. However Alex didn't acknowledge her presence. The woman just sat on her chair, staring down at her worn, black boots. Alex's hair was a little unkempt, and she looked paler than usual. Piper could see the bones sticking out on the back of her hands as the woman gripped the armrests. Alex was in a white sweater and a pair of black jeans, looking much thinner than when they were still together. Somehow, all the details Piper could see now painted guilt in her heart. She hadn't a better look of Alex last night. She hadn't spared a thought of what had gone on during their four years apart.

Piper sat down next to Alex. "Good morning, Mr. Healy."

"Good morning, Chapman. How are you today? Are you feeling better?"

At Healy's question, Alex moved a little in her chair. Piper turned and caught sight of the nasty cut on the woman's forehead. She then realized how odd the question must have sounded to Alex since she was the one who took the beating.

Piper tore her gaze from the pallid face. "I… I'm fine. Thank you." Worries involuntarily surged in her chest. Alex looked really ill. Piper wondered what other wounds she might have inflicted upon the woman. Were they serious? She had been so angry last night that she only realized now that she hadn't actually held back her powers at all. She grimaced, her hands gripping her knees.

"Mr. Bloom has heard about the incident, but he's in Germany now as we speak, so I am in charge of the situation here. I've seen the damages. The windows. The streetlamp. The South went out of power for almost three hours." Healy focused his attention on Piper, his gaze searching. "I see that you have some difficulties controlling your rage, Chapman."

"No… No, Mr. Healy, I was just—"

Healy leaned over the desk, hands clasped together. "Are you saying that Vause initiated the fight?"

Piper looked dazed for a moment.

"What really happened? You can tell me." Healy dangerously glanced at Alex. "Did she try to provoke you? Did she try to get close? Did she attempt to force—"

"No! No, it wasn't anything like that," Piper countered. She briefly looked at Alex, puzzled that the woman had remained silent at Healy's implications. "I... W—we had a terrible misunderstanding. She mistook me for someone else with the same powers that I have, and I… I just got scared, and I… Yes, I attacked her first, but out of fear. I didn't mean it."

At Piper's confession, Healy sat back, a heavy sigh on his lips. He looked bored as he stared at Alex. But it wasn't just boredom on Healy's part; Piper could see the hate in his eyes. She wondered what really went on between Alex and Litchfield. She was totally surprised to see Alex last night. For a whole year they were together, she never knew that Alex was one of the gifted. Alex had never displayed any supernatural powers in front of her. Alex had rarely ever talked about her past.

Piper glanced at Alex again, and somehow it fucking hurt to see how dull and sick the woman was. Alex had always seemed strong and confident. She had the invincible air about her. Piper had even expected Alex to fight back last night.

Oh, God… Her powers are passive…

"I'm writing you both a shot. Chapman, you're grounded. You aren't allowed to visit the South until further notice. Vause, janitorial duties, the Study, third floor, for a month. Starting tomorrow. Understood?"

Piper's eyes widened. "What? But it wasn't her fault. I... ok, I'll pay for the broken windows and everything that—"

"It has nothing to do with the cost, Chapman. It's for your own safety. Stay away from those people. You are not like them," Healy said with a stern expression. "And that's just my welcome gift for Vause. She doesn't seem to have a problem with it."

Alex smiled. "Thank you, sir. Will that be all?"

"Get out of my face." Healy waved at Alex.

Alex obliged. Although she straightened up as she walked out the door, Piper could see the oddities in her movements. She remembered Alex's strides well; nonchalant, fast or lazy. This was not one of them.

Quickly, Piper excused herself and followed Alex out. She wasn't surprised to see Alex had slowed down her pace once she was out of Healy's office, and now had one hand on the wall. She walked up the woman. "Are you hurt?"

Alex looked up, squinting at Piper for a second. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She retracted her hand from the wall and began to walk again, faster this time.

"Why didn't you say anything to him? He punished you for no reasons. This isn't like you at all." Piper followed. "And how come you never mentioned that you are 'gifted' too? You lied again. Everything about us is a lie."

"First of all, nobody's gifted here, Pipes. We're cursed. And I didn't lie. I didn't tell you because you never asked. Now could you please leave me alone? Or are you looking for excuses to beat me up again?" Alex looked annoyed, and perhaps even more annoyed that she couldn't see clearly and couldn't walk fast enough to lose Piper.

Piper's hand shot to her jacket pocket. She had been meaning to return the glasses to Alex. "I kicked your ass because you deserved it and more. I landed in Litchfield because of you. You did this to me. You took me away from my family, my friends, my career and... my… uh, and—"

"You can say 'fiancé'. No hard feelings. We're over. Have been, for a long time." Alex smiled that knowing smile, and it made Piper want to punch that woman again.

Bad thought. Need more self-control. More troubles or Piper would land in the South. The Fantastic Four would make sure of that. They already threatened her this morning.

"Is that a long time to you?" However, the question slipped through Piper's lips before she could stop it. When it feels just like yesterday that you hurt me...

Both Alex and Piper were taken aback by the sudden question. But Alex was fast to put on a neutral expression again.

"A day without you is a long time for me... Unimaginable, in fact." Alex mumbled. Her voice was husky and soft just like how Piper remembered.

But the awkwardness of the conversation made Piper feel uneasy. This wasn't how she envisioned herself last night to be acting when she would encounter Alex again today. Then the thought of Larry suddenly entered her mind. She stiffened at once, her voice distant. "I gotta go. It's almost lunchtime now, and I got Instructor Red for a private training afterwards. I can't be late. Apparently they feel that it might help me channel my emotions better."

"You got private trainings, and I got public toilets to wash for a whole month. Remind me never to fuck with the privileged. I never learned." Alex walked away, making a right turn at the intersection.

Piper couldn't help it. She took a few strides to follow the woman. "That's because you refused to change, Alex. Don't you dare put this on me."

"Whatever, Pipes. Thanks for the story anyway. Glad that Healy bought it, or he'd probably kick me out already."

Piper paused. "What? You let me lie to Healy to save yourself?" She blinked a few times. "Was that why you kept quiet the whole time you were in there?"

Alex stopped, and turned to face her. "Well, I didn't know which version you were going to go with. I didn't want to raise suspicions. We both, no, I meant, I could get into serious trouble, and I can't afford any of it at the moment. I've got other things to worry about. And, Pipes..., you lied to save yourself. Don't."

Alex walked away, and Piper didn't follow any further. She knew she shouldn't.

"Your powers represent you. You were born with it. You manifest it. But, ultimately, it is what you are."

Red. The powers training instructor. A 58 years old veteran. She was the great granddaughter of the first Litchfield powers training instructor, Erik Markovic. It ran in the family, and she was proud of it. While Red seemed feisty like her red, spiky hair, there's an air of weathered, but calm soul about her. A totally different air from Piper's mother, chilling and slippery.

Piper was with Red in a smaller gym, while the others were in the regular, bigger gyms. She now understood why they had several smaller gyms around. They were for people like her: the violent ones. And she felt depressed for the first time in two weeks. She was still an outcast even on this island, where she had begun to think she belonged.

"Before class is over. Can we talk about what happened last night?"

Sitting on a mat, Piper looked up, confused. She was in her gray sweatshirt, her head hooded. Her long legs were comfortable in a pair of black yoga pants.

"Tell me what triggered your rage."

"But I already told you."

"Not the Healy version. The real version." Red stared at her. The woman was standing in the corner of the room. She wasn't wearing gym clothes, but a black, pant suit. Piper had been moving a thousand cans for the past three hours, up and down, ever so slowly. She already felt like being interrogated for murder than dealing with her superpowers. "You know that my powers are mind reading."

Piper groaned. "Then why do you bother asking? Just read my thoughts."

"Believe me. I try not to use my powers too much. It can become too much. I spent my whole life, trying to block it out. Those were very painful years." Red cleared her throat before she continued. "With you, I sense anger and pain, but I didn't pry. I want to hear it from you. It'll do you good if you speak the truth."

Piper stared back at Red, almost as if challenging the woman to break into her head. "That's the only version I know."

"I cannot help you if you aren't willing to accept help… Ah, so much anger."

"I feel fine," Piper said, trying her best not to think of Alex. She wasn't sure if she did it to protect Alex in case the real version of the story got out, seeing how much Healy hated her, or just that Piper couldn't bear another thought of her. Last night and today had been too much. Just too much.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I forgot to call Larry! The thought only aggravated Piper even more. She needed to make a phone call as soon as the class was over. They usually talked in the morning and again before going to bed. She didn't want to imagine what he must be thinking now that their morning phone call was missed.

"You do realize that you almost killed two people in a span of one month and a half. One being your own brother, and the other a stranger. You failed to control your powers, and you might not be lucky next time. Someone might get killed—"

"But I was in control! I had perfect control last night!" Piper snapped, but immediately paused, realizing her slip.

Red smiled. "Only two weeks in, and your head is already so big. Given that your powers are highly efficient and powerful, you must be hearing praises all the time. But don't let it get to you. It could lead to a dangerous path."

Piper decided to keep quiet as Red walked up to her and patted her on the shoulder.

"It's been a long day for you. You may go now," Red said, watching her with attentive eyes.

Piper felt the rage disappearing, but she was still shaken, bewildered by it. Not wanting to say more, she simply nodded, collecting the mat and putting it back on top of the stack of mats in the back of the room. She headed towards the door, but stopped when Red spoke again.

"You don't need to tell me what triggers your anger—your fears. But, remember, that is the key to your powers, good and bad. Don't let anyone use it against you."

What Red had said continued to echo in Piper's mind, but she had more important thing to do at the moment. Piper ran back to the North Mansion, phone booths area. She pulled out her phone credit card, which allowed three phone calls a day, and put it over the scanner. When it beeped, she picked up the phone and called Larry.

"Tell me you aren't hurt." Those were his first words. "Piper, I was worried sick! Are you ok? Was it bad? Why didn't you call earlier? I was—"

"What did your father say?" Piper pressed the phone closer to her ear. She could hear his breathing.

"He told me that you got into a fight with some resident. It sounded pretty bad. Are you ok, Piper? Are you hurt?"

"No, I…I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm not hurt." Piper felt a pang of guilt hit her. Someone else got hurt because of her, and she was scared to let Larry know. He would be scared too, if he knew. Anyone would be. Maybe she needed to listen to Red after all; whatever triggered her rage had to be dealt with. Properly, of course.

"Good. Good." Larry breathed easier.

"I'm sorry. I meant to call, but I was called to the office for an explanation about last night. It was really nothing, Larry. It was just… a big misunderstanding. It's all settled now."

"That's great to hear." Piper could imagine his smile as he said it. "Look, I've got a friend coming over tonight. His name is Pete. We've just met. He's an Australian, by the way. He seems like a guy with lots of connections and lots of parties. I think he can hook me up with some writing gigs. He's cool."

"Lots of parties, huh?" Piper silently made a face. She didn't really want to imagine what her fiancé would be doing, partying out there, while she became violent and kicked people's asses to kill time.

"He's bringing like twenty people to our place tonight. I've got everything arranged. I even got your favorite dishes and wine. I'm sure they're going to like it."

"What's my favorite dish, Larry?"

"Umm, baked camembert? With red Bordeaux?"

"Hmm. That sounds good. You can marry me now."

"Marry me, Piper. Tomorrow."

Piper giggled, clinging to the phone with both hands. "Yeah, why not."

"I mean it. Marry me." Larry sighed. "I miss you so much. And last night… I got so fucking scared. I thought something terrible happened to you, and I couldn't even reach you. Dad wouldn't say much. No, it's not gonna work, Piper. I need you out of there. I want you here with me. Leave the island. I'll tell dad. Leave the island and marry me tomorrow."

"Marry you? Tomorrow?" Piper couldn't even believe her own ears. Against the popular belief of how a girl would look when in her position, Piper's smile faded somehow.

"This is not a joke. Can you take me seriously for once? Piper, I can't lose you."

"But you want to get married tomorrow? I've been here for only two weeks, Larry. We talked about this." Piper gulped, not wanting to stress the fact that she had just harmed other resident with her powers. Litchfield would never allow her to leave, at least not now.

Larry went on about his plan, and the whole conversation sent Piper's mind reeling. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Jeez, I need a beer. Maybe Nicky has some. "I'm not sure next week is a good time to marry, Larry. It's still too soon. I got some stuff to—" Piper paused when she spotted Nicky down the hallway.

The lion-haired woman was staring at her, arms across her chest. It seemed as though Nicky had been standing there for a while now. From the look on Nicky's face, she didn't seem too pleased, and Piper wasn't sure what to think.

Piper listened to Larry for a few more moments before they sent their goodnight kisses, and hang up. Nicky was still there, and Piper made a careful move towards the shorter woman. She was right not to speak a word, because Nicky sounded as upset as she looked.

"You were discussing your wedding party?" Nicky's frown grew deeper. Her expression was dead serious.

"Well… yeah, I—I'm engaged, you know that… Right?" Piper touched her hair, glancing around nervously. "I haven't seen you all day. Where have you been? You weren't even at the training today."

Nicky's lips tightened. "Because I was at the infirmary."

Piper reached out and touched Nicky's arm, genuinely concerned. "Are you ill? What's wrong?"

"You hurt my friend, that's what's wrong, Chapman. Vause collapsed during lunch, and she was sent to the infirmary. A fractured, right clavicle. Two broken ribs on the left, four on the right. And you were giggling, planning your wedding party after all of that shit? She got janitorial duties for being kicked in the ass, and you got nothing but special trainings? How do you do it?"

Piper couldn't move. Alex seemed all right this morning, didn't she? The woman had it all planned out, letting Piper lie to Healy. It was all scripted. Alex had nothing but a master plan.

"She knew that she's gonna be all right. It's who she is, Nicky. It's how she works. I know her." Piper insisted, but her voice was a little shaky. She had thought of Alex and her powers. Since Alex was nowhere to be seen in the large group of 'dangerous' powers training today, Piper had assumed that Alex was with the other group, the less threatening ones. "I...I admit that I was too rough, and I wouldn't have gone that far if I knew that she didn't have the kind of powers to defend herself. But she'd fight back if she knew that she was in real danger. She's always the one with plans."

Nicky was now red in the face. "Well, then she had a really stupid plan last night. And I know her better you do. You were just her fuck buddy anyway. The only reason she didn't fight back was because she couldn't have defended herself without hurting you. Fuck you, Chapman." Then Nicky pushed past Piper, and disappeared down the hall.

Piper froze.

Alex…

Half past midnight. Piper carefully moved through the yard, avoiding the lit, graveled path. She had waited for Polly to fall asleep before sneaking out.

Piper reached the small building next to the Gym, and entered. The infirmary had three floors. From what she had gathered from Polly, the patients would be on the second floor, one male ward, and one female ward.

Piper stopped at the entrance of the female ward, reading the chart hanging by the door. Visiting hours: 7 A.M. - 8 P.M. She shrugged and pushed the door open. Slowly and quietly. At this hour, the ward was kept dimly lit just like the corridors, and it worked just fine for Piper. There were about 30 beds, but only a few were occupied.

Piper looked around and saw a head of raven hair. She moved towards the bed next to the large window. Moonlight sneaked through the gap between the curtains, softly pooling over Alex's alabaster skin. Piper's breath caught in her throat. Suddenly all those nights they used to lie together in bed, holding each other, cherishing each other's warmth, came back and hit her like a speeding truck. It was nasty. It was unwelcome.

Now that Alex was in a blue hospital gown, Piper could see the fresh bandage on her left arm. Her heart was heavy with the thought of more bruises and cuts that were hidden beneath the gown. Alex looked tired and pale still, but a little more rested than this morning. Her hair was disheveled. Her breathing a little ragged.

Piper sat down at the edge of the bed. Before she could stop herself, she reached out and touched Alex's forehead, careful not to disturb the cut there.

"You don't let anything stop you, do you?" The voice came from a distance, and Piper turned to see an old, black lady sitting by the desk in the corner.

"You must be Ms. Claudette. Nice to meet you." Piper spoke with a neutral face, moving her hand down and gently stroke Alex's good arm. "She has fever."

"Of course, she does. She was supposed to come in since last night, but had stubbornly refused so. That girl never learned. She always made things more difficult than it had to be." Claudette studied Piper's hand on Alex. "She'll live. Nothing that won't heal. But my advice is to think twice before attacking someone, especially if you knew that you'd be breaking more rules just to pay them a visit at an ungodly hour."

"Are you going to report me?"

"So you can have more privileges granted? This place sometimes is a fart, but we've learned to live in it."

Piper inwardly sighed. Twitter had nothing on Litchfield. News here spread like wildfire.

Piper turned when she felt Alex move. The woman seemed to try to shift her body, but let out a pained whimper instead before falling back to her original position. Her eyes closed, her brows knitted, and she breathed harder. Piper leaned in closer, worries eating at her heart. She squeezed Alex's hand, trying to soothe the woman. "Al—"

"Pipes..."

For a moment, Piper had to squint in the dark to see if Alex was awake.

"...Pipes..." Alex breathed her name again, eyes still closed. And that was all it took. Piper's heart fluttered, butterflies in her stomach. It amazed her that no matter how much time had passed between them, the love and pain they have caused each other always felt like yesterday, fresh and raw.

Strangely, a contented, genuine smile graced Piper's beautiful face at a simple whisper of her name. Only Alex's voice could manage it for her. She reached up and softly caressed Alex's cheek. A hundred thoughts roamed through her mind, seeking which would be Alex's dream of her. Not a violent episode, she hoped.

"She's so warm. I hope she'll be feeling better tomorrow." Piper feigned a remark, knowing that Claudette was watching. Piper was warm too. She could feel the heat rise up to her cheeks and neck. For God's sake, she was blushing like a silly schoolgirl. She let go off Alex and stood up. The happy grin on her face, she turned to Claudette. "Thank you for letting me in, or—not kicking me out. I'll come back tomorrow... at a more appropriate hour."

Claudette just waved her away before turning her attention back to her laptop.

Piper leaned down to kiss Alex's forehead before taking the pair of black-rimmed glasses out of her black jacket's pocket. She put them on Alex's bed desk, and left.

"Young people," Claudette muttered, shaking her head. Then she looked up when she heard some rustling sounds. She sighed in annoyance when she saw that Alex had stubbornly rolled to her side, groaning in pain as she reached for her glasses.

Alex had an equally idiotic grin as Piper's on her face when she successfully put the glasses on.

"Please, tell me that you aren't going to sleep with your glasses on."

Alex fell back into bed again, a hand over her chest as she coughed. She lifted the curtain a little and looked out the window to see Piper walking across the yard. She lifted her hand from her chest and touched her forehead with the back of her hand. She didn't really want to go back to sleep at all.

Thanks all. xoxo