"Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word."

― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

"You have some balls, don't you?" Merle said as we both were on guard.

"Shut up, Merle!" I muttered, not bothering to look at him.

I was lying on my stomach, gripping the rifle with both my hands. I had been here with Merle for around an hour and a half and soon it will be Glenn's turn to keep watch.

I actually volunteered to take Glenn's turn because I wanted to stay away from everyone, but Glenn didn't let me.

At first, after what I did two days ago, everyone was too stunned to do or say anything but the next day hell broke loose.

My mother went completely nuts, started yelling at Daryl, who eventually just got on his motorcycle and left and he was away all day, avoiding my mum. She actually went as far as stealing Rick's keys and locked the door of my cell while I was sleeping, Rick ordered her to release me but she hid the keys and wouldn't tell anyone where she put them, so, once Daryl was back, just minutes before sunset he was told to get his own set of keys and open the door and let me out and the worst part, even than being locked the whole day, was that he didn't look up at me, not even once while he did it.

Actually, he hadn't talked to me since I kissed him. It was an impulse, a stupid, irrational one and now he had been ignoring me and avoiding me, I had tried to talk to him and pretend everything is cool but he just won't talk to me.

"Took everyone by surprise."

"I just wanted to make a point," I muttered, I was so annoyed by Merle right now, he just hadn't stopped talking about that since we got here.

"Everyone already knew that you like him, so..."

"No," I exclaimed, interrupting him. "The point was that I'm old enough to do what I want, my mum can't control me or give me orders and expect me to follow them like if I was eight or so."

"So you kissed my brother?" Merle asked me. "Makes total sense," he added sarcastically.

"She forbade me to see him, I was just not thinking right, okay?" I said. "I regret it, alright? Because now Daryl won't talk to me and it was stupid and I shouldn't have done it."

"Have no regrets, Blondie," Merle said to me. "Life is too short and miserable to have regrets, look at me, I don't regret anything I do."

"That's because you are an insensible jerk," I told him.

"The point is that you shouldn't regret a stupid kiss, it's dumb."

"What I did was dumb."

"What you did was brave."

Right then I saw Glenn making his way to the tower so I stood up, leaving the rifle on the ground. I told Merle it was time to go and as I did, Glenn opened the door. I smiled at him before walking down the stairs, ready to go to my 'room' and just lie down for a bit.

When I walked into Block C and passed by my mother's cell, I saw her in there but she wasn't alone, she was with Axel, they were both laughing and too close to my liking.

She probably sensed my stare, making her look up at me and when she did, I glared at her, she just glared back.

I wasn't in the mood to argue even when I wanted to say so many things to her, so I just hurried to get to my cell. I slumped down on the bed and opened the bible Hershel let me borrow from him. I had already read Matthew, Mark and Luke, I was ready to start John now and the best thing was that if I didn't understand something I could ask Hershel and he almost always cleared my doubts.

I read almost half of 'John' when I was interrupted by Sean, who, without permission, just sat on my bed next to me, I looked at him like he was crazy and moved a bit away from him, not feeling comfortable being this close to him.

"Hey, Cici! What are you doing?"

"I'm reading," I muttered, almost waving the bible in front of his face.

"That's cool!" he said excitedly. "Oliver found some cards the other day, I was wondering if you wanted to play."

"I'm good with this now," I said, referring to the bible. "Maybe another time."

"Come on, it will be fun!"

"No, thanks," I muttered. "I want to read, alright?"

Since yesterday morning Sean had been almost stalking me, following me everywhere, talking to me every chance he gets, he even wanted to keep guard with me but Merle wouldn't just give in to his begging, I was so thankful to Merle for that.

Then he actually grabbed my hand and tried to pull me with him, I instantly jerked it out of his grip and glared at him, I didn't like to be touched and certainly not like this.

"Hey," I exclaimed, getting angry. "Don't touch me, okay? Just leave me alone."

"Why are you being like this? I'm trying to include you in our activities and trying to have some fun, and what has gotten into you, anyway?"

"Nothing, alright!" I muttered, in an angry tone. "I just don't like people touching me, now get out."

"Right," he said sarcastically. "Daryl touches yo..."

"Get the fuck out, now!" I yelled, not caring about other people hearing us now, I actually expected someone to hear me and come.

"What's your problem? I was just..."

"Everything okay in here?"

I looked behind Sean, and there stood Rick, his gun in his hand. Sean turned to look at him with a smile while I just shook my head to answer his question when he wasn't looking my way. Rick nodded at me.

"Why don't we leave Cici alone? She looks a bit distressed," Rick said in a kind voice, Sean smiled at him pretending everything was okay.

"Alright," he said nodding.

Rick put his hand over Sean's shoulder and led him out of my cell, Rick glanced at me for a second or two and I nodded in a thankful way before he started to make conversation with Sean.

As soon as they were out of my sight I let out a sigh of relief. Sean had been putting his arms around me or had been trying to hold my hand since yesterday and I felt uncomfortable and I discretely tried to get out of the way or get out of his grip but this was too much, I just couldn't stand it anymore, what the hell got into that guy? He barely talks to me first and then follows me around for two days in a row?

I calmed down a few minutes later, I lied down on the bed and started reading again, when I finished reading John, I closed the bible and went down, to Hershel's cell.

"Hey, Hershel," I said to the old man, who was resting on his bed. "I just read John and I have some questions."

"Of course, come in."

I grabbed a chair and put it next to the bed, I sat on it and rested my arms on its back, I started telling Hershel my questions and as usual he answered in the best way he could, giving me a new perspective and helping me understand a bit more.

Beth eventually joined us and she also helped me understand a bit more, she was raised as a Christian and knew things about the bible, while I had never opened the book until some days ago even when we did have a couple of bibles at home, but so far I had found it so interesting, I just wanted to keep reading it.

Luckily, the bible Hershel found wasn't written in the old English, the English that is so hard to understand. It was written with easier words to understand, making me more eager to read it.

The next thing to read was 'Acts' and I was going to start it tomorrow, I would read tonight but with no light that would be impossible and I wanted to make sure I understood John well before keep reading, but with the help of Beth and Hershel, all my questions were answered.

"Thank you," I said to the two of them.

"No problem, glad you are interested," Hershel told me.

After that I walked back to my room, Beth went for Judith before following me back to my room, where we talked about other things, luckily none of them concerned Daryl, my mother or even Sean.

"Was Jimmy your first boyfriend?" I asked her.

"No, he was my second, we only dated for a few months, though," she told me. "Who was your first boyfriend?"

"His name was Charlie, everyone said he was into me, I never believed them until he asked me out," I said chuckling.

"How old were you?"

"I was fourteen, dated him for like five months, I broke up with him," I said. "I didn't really like him that much."

"Was he your first kiss?"

"No," I said with a smile. "A few months before that, we were at one of my best friend's birthday party, we were playing spin the bottle and I got to kiss a boy in a grade above me that almost everyone fancied, I couldn't believe my luck."

"That sounds fun, my first kiss was so awkward, like the guy just kissed me and then smiled at me and then he just walked away, he never dared to talk to me again," Beth said with a chuckle. "I was eleven or so."

"Was he at least cute?"

"No!" Beth exclaimed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said.

We kept talking about boys and kisses and awkward stories until Judith started crying, wanting to eat, Beth excused herself, leaving me all alone.

I was sitting on the floor crossed legged, with my back against the bed, feeling so lazy to just get up when I saw something in the back of what I could call my room, it was the crossbow that once belonged to Daryl.

I felt a pang in my heart as I thought of him and that he wasn't talking to me. After several minutes of considering my options, if I should just go talk to him or stay and leave things as they were, I just pulled myself up and walked to his cell, which was only two away from mine, which were empty.

I stood by the door frame and before I could talk Daryl noticed I was there, I opened my mouth to say something but he just rolled to his side, avoiding me.

"I was thinking you could keep teaching me how to use the crossbow," I said in a soft, shy voice as I kept fidgeting and looking at the ground, only glancing at him from time to time. "We haven't done it in a while."

"No," he mumbled.

I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly or not, but either way he really wasn't going to teach me today, he wasn't even facing me. I sighed in defeat.

"Come on, it will be fun!" I said, pretending I was alright, that him being this way didn't hurt me.

"Go the fuck away!" he exclaimed but as usual, he didn't even look at me, not even to glare.

"I just wanted to practice!"

"You can on your own!"

"Not really, besides..."

"Just leave me alone, Cecilia," he told me in a dangerously low tone, it almost scared me.

"Fine," I snapped. "I just don't get what your problem is! It was just a kiss, get over it!"

I walked back to my room being really angry, I couldn't help but say that to him, I was just so frustrated with him. Seriously, what was his problem? If he wanted he could act awkward and all that but not like this, being a complete dick.

Without thinking, I grabbed the crossbow, the five arrows I had and walked outside the prison. By the sun's position I could tell it was around 4:00, maybe a bit earlier.

I walked all the way to the other side of the courtyard, I stood a few feet away from the wooden thing Daryl had gotten so I could practice. I loaded the crossbow, now barely struggling and I shot the first arrow, I almost hit the target. I did the same with a second and third arrow and I did hit the target, it didn't cheer me on, though. I only got more upset.

I had never hit the target so fast and still I wasn't feeling anything about it, when I shot the other two arrows I walked all the way to the wooden piece and grabbed the arrows and I repeated the process, missing the target only once.

I thought shooting might release some stress but it barely did it, even Merle joined me and said I was too tensed and anxious.

I was about to give up and start to exercise, the activity that always helps me relax when I saw my mother rushing inside the prison and a few minutes later, Rick and she ran out of the prison, they ran towards the fence and opened it, seconds later I saw a car getting in.

I couldn't help but walk to them, see what was happening. I saw Andrea getting out of the car, she smiled at me but I didn't smile back, I just had a blank expression on my face.

"We need to talk," she said to Rick.

"Come on," he told her and went back into the prison with her following him closely, leaving Merle, my mother and me just standing there, which I took as an opportunity to talk to my mother.

"What the hell are you doing with that man?" I asked, almost shouting at her, Merle wasted no time to walk away from us after he heard my tone and saw the look on my face.

"It's none of your business," she muttered, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Not my business? So why are Daryl and I your business, then?"

"Because you're my daughter."

"Mum, he's a convict, you have no idea what he did to end up here!" I yelled.

"He told me, alright? And it's not like it matters, nothing we did before this matters now, we are all killers now."

"Of course it matters, it makes us who we are now, and how do you know if he's telling the truth?"

"I don't have to discuss this with you, Cecilia."

"So, are you with him now? Are you dating him?"

"What if I am? Have a problem with that?"

"Yeah," I said in a duh tone. "Actually, I do."

"Too bad," she muttered before walking away from me.

"Why do you act like such a bitch?" I shouted at her, I had never ever disrespected my mum in any way but right now I couldn't help it, she turned around quickly and took some steps towards me, she raised her hand quickly, ready to slap me.

Memories of my father flooded in my mind, I was scared yes, but I didn't show it. I just took a single step back so she wouldn't touch me, but then stayed on my spot, showing her I wasn't intimidated or scared.

"Acting like dad now?" I shot at her, looking at her with such hatred I didn't know it was possible until now. "Hit me, go ahead!" I exclaimed loudly. "I don't care, I went through that all my life, I think I can take another beating."

It seemed like my words made an effect on her because she stopped going after me and her arm dropped to her side immediately and her expression softened a bit but she kept glaring at me.

"You have no idea how hard I try to get closer to you, to forgive you but you just keep pushing me away, mum!"

"That's not true."

"Yes, mum, it's true," I said, feeling my eyes filling with tears. "After we got separated all I wanted was to find you and make things right for once and they were at first but then you just kept being... shitty to me, making me even madder at you. I just want a mum that hugs me, that tells me she loves me, not to keep my best friend away from me, because that's what Daryl is to me, he's my best friend."

"I love you, Cecilia."

"Well, show it," I said, my voice breaking at the end. "Because all my life I've wondered it, even before this. How could you let dad do everything he did to me? I was just a kid, I couldn't defend myself! Sophia couldn't defend herself! You could have protected us but instead you let him! Why?"

"I don't know!" she shouted, tears rolling down her face now. "You have no idea how much I regret it! How much I wish I could go back and change it all but I can't!"

"Then make the present alright, because what you are doing is just pushing me further and further away."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, for now and before," she told me. "I'm sorry for what your dad did to you but I want you to know that I did let him beat you but I never let him touch you in a sexual way, I never allowed that."

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"He tried and I always stopped him, okay? I'm sorry I'm telling you now," she said as I felt more and more disgusted with myself. "He was sick, Cecilia, very, very sick."

I stared at her in disbelief, shaking my head in denial. I know he never did anything to me but just thinking my own father wanted to do something like that to me made me want to puke.

"You knew and you never got me out? You just assumed I was going to be alright?" I asked, my voice getting high-pitched.

"He never did it, did he?"

"Is that some kind of reassurance, consolation? That's gross, mum!" I exclaimed, pacing in front of her, trying not to puke and then a horrible thought crossed my mind. "Did he ever do that to Sophia?"

My mum looked at me with tears in her icy blue eyes and then just looked down at the ground, making my heart shattered. I frantically ran my hands through my messy hair, feeling how tears now fell down my face. I didn't want to cry but I was so outraged about this that I couldn't control it.

"Did he, mum!?" I shouted at her.

"Yes!" she whispered. "Just once, okay?"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it fucking doesn't! How could you do that to her? She was just a kid!"

"After you left, he stopped trying to get to you so he targeted Sophia, I just let her out of my sight one time, okay? He didn't rape her, he just... when I saw him too close to her I immediately interfered."

"Don't!" I shouted. "Don't put this on me as well! That wasn't my fault, that was all your fault! I can understand why you blame me for her death because I blame myself too, but for this? No, you have no right! This is on you."

I just looked at her like if she was the worst human being ever, and for me, at this very moment she was and I couldn't hate her even more.

"It's better that's she dead," I said coldly, regretting my words immediately after I said them. "At least she's away from you."

"Don't say that," she mumbled to me, just as I turned around and started to walk back inside the prison.

"I want to know something," I said, way too calmed, stopping in my tracks and glancing back at my mother. "Did you cry when you thought I was dead?"

She said nothing to me, she just cried harder and looked down at the ground once again, her lack of words could only mean she didn't cry my death, she didn't.

"Not even a single tear, huh?" I asked with hatred, shaking my head at her out of disappointment. I stormed inside the prison, leaving her outside, crying her eyes out but I didn't care, not now and I wasn't sure if I ever will.

Actually I wasn't even sure if I ever would forgive her or talk to her again, not after what she said to me today. A part of me wished to keep being ignorant to that and not know a single thing about it, it was too much, and Daryl wasn't even talking to me, I had no one right now and I really needed him.

As I walked back in I heard Andrea arguing with Rick. I dried my tears and walked inside the kitchen, where I saw Rick, Andrea, Daryl, Hershel, Glenn and Maggie. I leaned against a wall and luckily all of them just glanced at me but then ignored my presence.

"You have to do this, Rick," Andrea told him. "For the good of everyone."

"What if it's a trap and he just kills us?"

"He won't, I'll be there. We can solve this in a pacific way!" Andrea exclaimed and I just rolled my eyes at her.

As the discussion kept on I found out Andrea wanted The Governor and Rick to talk so we could get to some kind of agreement and live in peace, I seriously doubted that could be possible.

He was a psycho, he just wanted to be the king of the world and ruled everyone and he just wouldn't forgive and forget what we did to Woodbury, he killed Teresa, he wanted to kill us all and if possible, make it a slow, painful death, especially to Michonne, Merle, Rick and me.

Rick eventually agreed and Andrea told him the conditions, the time and day they would meet, I just shook my head in disbelief and left the room without saying anything, Andrea just looked at me in a disappointed way, not like if I cared.

"Hey, you alright?" Carl asked me as I passed in front of his cell.

"Yeah," I said, forcing a small smile. "What are you up to?"

"Just reading some comics, these are really good."

"That's awesome, let me give them a look when you are done with them."

"Of course," he said smiling at me. I ruffled his hair and smiled at him one more time before turning around, ready to go to my cell. "Hey!"

"Yeah?" I said, turning around to face him once again.

"Daryl's still mad at you?" he asked me and I just nodded sadly at him.

"Yeah, he is."

"He's being an idiot, what you did was awesome."

"You and Merle are the only ones that think that, but it's done. I can't undo it, can I?"

"Don't worry, he'll come around soon," Carl told me. "He's just... I don't know, feeling awkward, scared, vulnerable, maybe even confused too."

"I hope you are right, because I miss him."

"Well, for now, you have me," Carl said with a huge smile, making me smile at him.

"I know, thanks."

With a big smile on my lips, this time a real one, I finally walked to my cell and let myself fall on my bed, being extremely exhausted, mostly mentally rather than physically.

I lied on my bed for about two hours, my mind invaded with bad and horrible thoughts until I heard dinner was ready, I ran down the stairs so I could choose where to sit. I ended up with Carl, Michonne and Beth, really far from my mother, whose eyes were puffy and bloodshot, people noticed but most didn't ask her what was wrong, luckily I didn't look as bad as her so people couldn't and didn't assume we got into another of our arguments but I knew at least two people could put two and two together and figured we had a really bad fight, especially because of my behaviour and I knew Michonne was one of those people.

She gave me a look to let me know she knew and in a way, telling me I could trust her and tell her but I just shook my head at her, not wanting to ever repeat what happened out there, I just wanted to get that memory out of my brain and burn it somehow, to never be able to remember it.

After dinner, Rick asked us to stay a bit longer, he wanted to discuss what Andrea came to tell him, I already knew but I stayed nevertheless.

"So, this Governor wants to talk," Rick started. "And I agreed to go."

Rick then explained the plan to everyone, told us when he was going to go and said he was going to take two people with him.

"I want to go," I said instantly.

"No," Rick told me, shaking his head. "You were already there, with him, he wanted you dead, I want you safe, I want you to stay here."

"But..."

"It's final, Cecilia," Rick said to me with authority. "I'm taking Daryl."

Of course, he is.

"What a shocker," I exclaimed under my breath but Rick heard me, he just gave me a look and I shrugged at him, trying to look innocent.

"And Hershel."

Well that was a real shocker, everyone looked as shocked and surprised as me, even Hershel but he didn't complain or anything, he just nodded at Rick.

"I want the rest to be ready, in case this is a trap and the rest of his people come here and attack," Rick said. "That's why I need you here, Cecilia. I need you to take care of Carl."

He knew he got me there, he knew I'd do anything for Carl, so I just nodded at him and put an arm around Carl, who smiled at me.

Hello guys, first of all I want to tell you that I know this chapter was a bit 'heavy' and I hesitated for a long time if I should change what Carol told Cecilia about Sophia or not but I decided to keep it. I'm sorry if it bothers or upsets some of you, I have no idea if that ever happened but Carol implied something like that happened when she was praying for Sophia's safety after she got lost, so I can only assume Ed was a sick bastard.

Now that we got that out of the way, I'm sure this chapter didn't go as you expected, with Daryl being like this, so why do you think he's acting like that? And what do you think of this chapter :)