"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness.

We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace."

Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

It was not until the next morning when we finally could make it back to the prison. Everyone that stayed there, ran out to meet us, probably being worried sick all night about about us, thinking we didn't make it back last night because we were dead, captured or injured.

I got off the bike and glanced behind me, seeing the pick-up and a school bus stopping behind Daryl's motorcycle.

After Andrea's death and her burial, Rick actually offered Tyresse, his sister, Sasha and Karen to join us and come to the prison with us and they all accepted. Daryl proposed to bring everyone that wanted to come to the prison with us and Rick agreed with him.

Tyresse, Rick and Karen explained to the people there all that happened, including Andrea's death, who became a popular and very liked woman in Woodbury after Michonne and I escaped the place, now I understood a bit more why she couldn't just leave, those people admired her and looked up to her.

Every person there accepted to come back with us. Most of them though, were old people or kids that weren't able to fight. All the men and the strongest women were made to attack the prison the day before and they were killed by the Governor after they retreated.

The prison was big enough for all of us, we were going to give them another block and let them settle there.

I was so used to being in a group smaller than twenty people that for now I just felt a bit uncomfortable with so many people around but I knew we can't be alone in this world, the more of us, the stronger we are and I would get used to them too.

"What is this?" I heard Carl asking his father, as the people started walking out of the yellow bus.

"They're going to join us," Rick informed him, resting his hands on his hips.

By Carl's face I knew he wasn't happy with the new events that were taking place and seconds later he stormed away but everyone else seemed okay with it. There was hope in everyone's eyes, the people from Woodbury and my own group. Today was a good day.

Hershel smiled and pat Tyresse' shoulder as he passed by him, obviously being happy the man was well and back at the prison.

"You alright?" Daryl asked me.

"Yeah," I said, nodding but didn't look at him. "Still a bit sad but I'll be alright."

"So," he said with a small smirk on his lips. "You told Andrea about us?"

"You have no idea how much she used to tease me about you after the farm thing," I told him with a smile. "I just felt like I needed to tell her that her suspicions from the very start apparently were correct."

"She teased you, huh?"

"You have no idea," I told him. "Always said that I liked you and that you liked me and stuff like that, even got the idea into Michonne's head, she kept saying she wanted so bad to meet you from all the things Andrea used to say about us."
"Well, I'm glad you told her," Daryl admitted. "She seemed genuinely happy."

"I'm sure she was."

"Maybe we should tell the rest soon."

"You sure you are ready for that?" I asked, being completely shocked by his statement. "What if my mum goes completely crazy and tries to kill you?"

"Well, it won't be the first time a crazy woman tries to kill me." He chuckled and I just raised my eyebrows at him. "Besides everyone will find out sooner or later."

"Michonne already knows," I told him.

"I figured," he said. "I imagined you wouldn't like whisper it in Andrea's ear so Michonne wouldn't hear you."

"Right," I said with a chuckle.

"Let's help people get settled in and organize stuff and then we can discuss how we are going to break the news."

"Alright," I said with a smile before Daryl walked inside.

We also brought some stuff back from Woodbury, including a lot of food. Even if Daryl would manage to find a deer and kill it, it wouldn't be enough to feed everyone, so we brought as much as we could plus some medicine and personal hygiene stuff, like tooth paste and lots of soaps.

I turned around to go inside and as I made my way there I saw my mother, who was leaning against the door. I took a deep breath and walked there, nevertheless. I stopped in front of her and looked right into her eyes.

"Andrea died," I informed her. I was actually pretty sorry to interrupt this happy moment with such terrible news but I actually needed something to tell her and I was too proud to just say hi, so I used that as an excuse to talk to her, truth was that I missed my mum and being okay with her.

She looked down at the ground, deeply saddened by the news. She sighed and composed herself quickly, not allowing any tear to fall out of her icy blue eyes. She looked up at me again, looking just like she did before I told her.

"How?"

"The Governor locked her inside a room, I don't know exactly what happened but a walker was inside and it bit her," I told her, leaving out the fact that Tyresse later identified the walker as Milton, she probably didn't even know who the hell Milton was and I wasn't in the mood to explain. "We got there just in time to say good-bye."

"I'm sorry to hear that, are you okay? I know you two got quite close during the last months."

"Yeah." I nodded. "At least I got to say goodbye. Well, I'll go inside."

It wasn't easy getting everything and everyone organized, we spent most of the day doing that. Luckily there were enough cells and beds for all of them in another block and we managed to keep block C all for ourselves. I was actually really glad we didn't have to share our personal space with strangers.

After lunch I went outside to keep helping, there were still some boxes inside the pick-up and we wanted to finish before night.

"Cici?"

I turned around to see a young, redhead girl some feet away from me. She waved at me with a smile, I just smiled back at her because I was holding a big box and couldn't wave.

"Hey," I said to Amanda. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Can't believe we are meeting again," she exclaimed.

"Are your brothers here?" I asked, wanting to know about Wayne and Chris, the boy that kind of befriended me during the few days I spent in Woodbury.

"No," she said sadly. "Actually they were part of the group that attacked your people, they were the perfect age and all, they didn't have a choice. I think they were in the group the Governor murdered."

"I'm sorry to hear," I told her, being really saddened to think the two of them died. "But Chris couldn't even know how to hold a gun, why did they take him with them?"

"They made a list of people that were capable of fighting, they taught people how to shoot. You knew how Chris was, he didn't want to go, Wayne was more eager to learn, though."

"What about your dad?"

"He is here, he's not well, though. He has a nasty cut from some days ago, that's why he was allowed to stay. Anyway, did you find your group? Your mum?"

"Yeah, I was extremely lucky to find them," I told her with a smile.

"Who's your mum?" she asked me excitedly.

"She has short grey hair and her eyes are just like mine," I said. "Her name is Carol."

"I think I saw her when we first came here," she said. "Well, I better not keep you here any longer, that box looks a bit heavy, need any help?"

"Sure, we need to take these boxes to a room inside the prison."

Amanda took one small box in her hands and followed me inside, I showed her the way and we put the boxes on a shelf. Maggie, Glenn and Beth helped as well with the boxes and the supplies we got.

"Guys, this is Amanda," I said as the five of us were all inside the room, we had just finished getting everything inside and we were a bit tired, especially me because I didn't sleep at all last night. "I met her before I found you guys. Was one of the few friends I made while I stayed in Woodbury."

I wasn't really sure if I could call Amanda a friend but that word would have to do. The other three told her their names as they shook her hand and soon she established a conversation with Maggie and Beth.

I knew Amanda and Beth were going to get along quite well because they were almost the same age, Beth being seventeen and Amanda was eighteen, plus Amanda was a really bubbly and friendly girl.

Before night fell I went to Carl's cell, I leant on the door, looking at the young boy, who was facing the wall, with his arms cross in front of his chest.

"Hey," I said in a soft tone.

He looked at me and flashed me a small smile but said nothing to me, I sighed and walked in. I sat next to him on the bed and put a hand on top of his right arm.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," he muttered.

"They won't kill us, Carl. They were scared and we helped them. I'm not completely comfortable with having so much people in here but having more people can get in handy."

"Having more people only means losing more people." I sighed. "I heard about Andrea."

"The Governor is a really sick man, Carl. That doesn't mean everyone else is too."

"Where is he?"

"We don't know," I admitted.

Carl turned around so now he was laying on his back and he was facing me, for once the Sheriff hat he always wore wasn't on his head, but on a table next to his bed.

"So, that means he can attack us at any time," he stated. "Why didn't you look for him?"

"We did, he's just gone. He killed everyone that came here and attacked us, we suspect he's alone."

"But you are not sure."

"I want to kill him, Carl. I want him gone as much as you and everybody else do for what he did to Glenn, Maggie and Daryl, and for killing Andrea, Teresa and Merle," I muttered. "And for what he did to our home but we can't let hate consume us and change us, we can't lose our humanity and become something close to what he is, a monster."

"So, what do we do?"

"We move on," I told him, grabbing one of his hands with mine. "We have to be careful and not forget he's out there and not in his right mind but we must keep living, okay? I don't like looking you like this, Carl. Do you remember when I came back?"

"What part exactly?"

"That thing you told me," I muttered. "That we couldn't afford being upset at someone because we are not sure when we are going to lose them?"

"Yeah."
"Well, you should follow your own advice and not be angry at your father, he's doing the best he can to keep us all safe and I believe he made the right choice by bringing them all here," I told him. "I'm at the moment very angry at my mum, I always am, right? And I hate it because sometimes I feel really lonely. Do not make the same mistakes I've done, alright? Don't mess things beyond repair."

"Why are you always fighting with your mum?"

"I guess I haven't completely forgiven her for everything she has done and then she does something not that bad and I just can't help but get mad because I need an excuse to fight with her, I don't know, maybe that's why, I'm just still hurt and she doesn't give me enough time to heal, she just deepens the cut, anyway," I said quickly, not wanting to talk about my complicated life with Carl. "There are some cute girls in the group from Woodbury, maybe you can find someone."

"Yeah, right," Carl said rolling his blue eyes, but I did manage to get a shy smile from him.

"What? It can happen!" I exclaimed, poking him in the side, making him slightly jump. "You are almost a teenager, you'll start liking girls soon if you haven't liked girls already."

"Just shut up, Cici," he said, covering his face with his hands. "I don't want to talk about this."

"So, it's not nice to talk about your love life but it's completely fine to discuss mine and even locking me inside a room with Daryl?"

"It's completely different!" Carl exclaimed, sitting up. "You are older than me, probably had at least a boyfriend before this and it's obvious you two like each other. It was just part of the C.A. Mission, but as you know not all fights are won, I should have thought it more thoroughly, maybe it would have worked if I had done something different."

"You are right, I had three boyfriends before this but that doesn't make it any different!" I exclaimed. "And as you know, not all fights are lost."

"But this one was, but I won't give up, just so you know," he said with a smirk on his lips.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," I said with a similar smirk.

"About which part?" he asked confused.

"The first part," I told him and he just raised his eyebrows at me.

"What are you trying to tell me?" Carl asked me.

"We were just pretending, Carl," I admitted, letting myself smile. "We made up when you locked us in, we shouted at each other for a while, yes, and it got a bit intense, but that helped because I found out what was bothering Daryl and I apologized and we are good now."

"Hmm, that's good," Carl said proudly. "See? My plans are always the best."

"And," I added, looking down at my hands and then looking up at Carl again. "And, we kind of kissed... you know..."

"What?" he yelled at me, his mouth was wide opened in shock. "You ki..."

I quickly leant forward and put my hand over his mouth to stop him from yelling that, nobody knew except Michonne and I didn't want the others to find out this way. I brought my index finger from my other hand to my lips and told him to be quiet and as I did he actually bit me.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, dropping my hand before examining it. "I hope you don't infect me or something."

"Come on, that was nothing!" he exclaimed with a laugh. "I have more odds to get infected with something because your hands are so dirty."

"Nobody told you to bite it!" I shot back.

Not having a come back quick enough, Carl just stuck out his tongue at me and I did the same soon after he did, then I proceeded to ruffle his dark semi-long hair.

"So," he said, turning completely serious after some time of just goofing around. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You locked us in there for hours, I was upset, plus we weren't feeling that comfortable about sharing the news so quickly, you saw my mother days before that, she went crazy."

"Why were you upset? You should thank me!" he exclaimed, waving his hand in frustration. "If I hadn't done that, you wouldn't be together now."

"Thank you," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes while Carl just gave me a look.

"When are you telling the others?"

"Tonight or tomorrow, I don't know yet," I said. "We didn't want to tell people so soon but with everything that has happened, it's best to just say it and not keep secrets."

"What do you think the others will do when you tell them?"

"I don't even want to think about it, especially my mum's reaction."

"I agree with you," he said. "So, Cici, how well does he kiss?"

"I'm not discussing this with you!" I exclaimed, standing up and making my way out of the room.

"Oh, come on!" Carl exclaimed, standing up as well.

"You're too young for this, you said it yourself."

"But –"

"Bye Carl!"

I walked out of there and went to my own cell before Carl could say anything else, leaving him frustrated with my lack of will to share that with him, it would be extremely awkward to talk about that with him, maybe I'll just wait for him to be a few years older so it can be less awkward but for now, it's a definite no.

So far Michonne and Carl were the only ones that knew about Daryl and me and both were completely fine with it, actually they were happy about it, making me extremely content but I wasn't sure who else would react as good as they did.

Maybe Beth and Maggie and Glenn would react well, just maybe. I wasn't too sure about Rick, Hershel, Oliver and Sean. I didn't give a damn about Axel's opinion and I knew my mum wouldn't take it well, so Daryl and I had to be really careful with the way we tell them all, we should find the right time and the correct way to tell them.

Speaking of him, I had barely talked and seen Daryl today. We had all been busy with all the new people living here.

I stood up from my bed and headed to his own cell but he wasn't there, I looked around the hall and the kitchen but couldn't find him either, I decided to take a look outside and if I didn't find him there then I would just go back to my cell.

I opened the door and slowly scanned the place in front of me, I spotted Daryl by the fence, he was on his feet, being completely still. I wasn't sure if he wanted to be alone or if I should just join him.

Being there for maybe five minutes I finally decided to make my way to him, luckily he turned around when I was about twenty-three feet away from him, probably sensing my presence or with the magnificent ear he had, he probably heard me.

"Hi," I said as I took the final steps to stand next to him.

I looked at him and he seemed extremely sad, I could even swear he had cried a bit. I bit my lip, knowing I wasn't good at comforting people, especially Daryl, who, at the first bad move, he just pushes you away.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

Daryl took a deep breath, lowering his head and then brought his hand behind his neck in a nervous matter, but then he turned to look at me, straight into my eyes for a split second before he looked at an specific spot in front of us.

"I just miss him," he muttered sadly. "I can't believe he's gone."

"I miss him too," I honestly said. Merle was Merle, he was an asshole and a bastard but he had a good heart and he was one of the bravest people I had ever met. "He died as a hero."

"I know," Daryl whispered sadly but then he smiled a bit and let out a chuckle. "Who would have imagined, huh? Merle being a hero."

"He let Michonne go and he gave us a chance," I said, trying not to cry because now it was my turn to be strong for Daryl.

Daryl once again looked down at the ground and out of the corner of my eye I saw him bringing his hand to his face. I discretely looked at him and saw Daryl wiping some tears that had fallen out of his eyes.

That reminded me of that time when Daryl was informed that Merle had been left in that rooftop about a year ago and he acted all though but he actually cried in front of everyone at the thought of losing his brother, the only person he had then, and now he had actually lost Merle.

Daryl looked up again and fixed his eyes on that specific spot, I looked in the same direction and now I knew what he was looking at, Merle's grave.

"We never had the best relationship, he was gone most of the time but he was my brother, he took care of me in his own way. I just... I just wanted some more time with him," he told me, not stopping looking at the grave. "Just have the chance to do stuff, you know? I really wished he had died knowing about us... let him know that pushing people away is not always the answer."

I felt my heart breaking at his words, I knew how he felt because that's why I told Andrea last night, I couldn't afford to let her go without telling her and that's why he wanted to tell the rest.

"He knew, Daryl," I whispered softly, making him look at me with an eyebrow raised. "He did."

"How? You told him?" I shook my head at him.

"He was a very observing and smart man," I said. "He figured it out. He told me when we were uh..." I stopped quickly not wanting to tell him we were looking for drugs. "Just the two of us in there and he said we couldn't fool him, he saw it in your eyes."

"That son of a bitch," he said letting out a small laugh. "He never told me."

"He also said that he could tell you were truly happy and he was glad about that," I said, remembering one of my last conversations with Merle.

"He really said that?" he said shocked.

"I was surprised too," I admitted. "Even back at Woodbury he said he approved of me, that I kind of had his approval to be with you."

I chuckled at the memory and Daryl actually smiled and chuckled as well as he shook his head in amusement.

"I'm quite surprised to hear that. Merle used to think we didn't really need people to be happy. We grew up without any kind of love so he actually believed all kind of relationships were just... a waste of time," Daryl said. "Said we only had each other and even then, he sometimes said our own relationship was a waste of time."

"And you believed that too?" I said, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, all I knew was broken families, broken people. I was broken myself," he admitted. "My family never showed me otherwise and everyone I met just proved me over and over again that Merle was right."

"I know, I used to think like that too."

"But then the dead started walking the earth and I was shown that not everyone is empty and cold," he told me, looking away from me. "We have actually helped and cared about each other. We've worked as a team and that's what has kept us alive. This group has showed me that... that there is hope in humanity after all and thanks to what you told me for his final heroic act I know that Merle didn't die without actually caring and knowing that people do care and that letting people in is not always a bad thing, I'm glad he started to understand that. "

I miss Merle :(

So, this might be the last update for two weeks or so, well, three, counting this week. I go away for two weeks to Florida this Saturday, I might update so you have something for the time being but can't make any promise :P
And I might go to the new TWD attraction in Universal that opened yesterday:) still don't know but that would be cool.

Anyway, as always, please comment & vote :)