A/N: Merry Xmas all. I will take a break from the story over Xmas. I'm not planning on abandoning this. In a way it might be a good thing I'm taking a break, I may need to hide depending on reactions to the content in this. The story is going to be far longer than I originally intended but I plan to finish it though updates may get slower.
Thanks as always for the comments and reviews
Chapter 55
Arya had been sitting in her room, sharpening her blades when the men from the camps had converged on her. She knew instantly that they were wrong. Olyvar Frey had not deserted. He was not a traitor. Arya had spent time with him. They had ridden side by side from the Twins. He had meant what he had said about proving himself. Arya could see it, not just in his words but in his actions.
Her arguments had not convinced her bannermen though. They wanted her to issue an order for him to be branded a deserter and oathbreaker. They wanted him executed. The freed prisoners from the Red Wedding were the most vocal. The Greatjon bellowed loudly. Arya would not do it. Instead she ordered for Olyvar to be found and brought back to her to be put to the question. She just hoped that if he was found that he would make it back alive.
Arya could see that Aegon shared her opinion of Olyvar. They did not get a chance to speak of it but she had seen it in his face. He could not help her though. The Northmen had little tolerance where the Freys were concerned. Olyvar had been given a chance and they now felt he had abused the trust Arya had placed in him. They were going to dispense justice and they did not want Aegon's men involved.
Arya desperately wanted to seek Olyvar herself but she lost precious time stuck in meetings while search parties were organised and sent out. Before her uncle rode out she pulled him aside and tried to reason with him. He listened to her more than the others but she could see his grief over her mother and Robb was blinding him. He was not going to take justice into his own hands but he wanted Olyvar found and he wanted answers.
As soon as he was gone Arya wrote a note on parchment and left it in his tent. After only just speaking of her Aunt's disappearance with Aegon, she was not going to disappear herself without saying something. She hoped that there would not be panic about her absence though she expected that hope was futile. She only hoped she would not be gone long.
She found Tom easily enough in the inn. His guilty expression when he saw her confirmed her suspicions immediately.
"Where is he?" she hissed. "Why was he taken?"
"It was not my idea" he protested defensively "but he is a Frey and some don't feel it right that he escaped justice".
It took everything Arya had to restrain herself. "Is he already dead?"
"Mayhaps" Tom said slowly. "It depends on how long it takes before Stoneheart makes it back from Fairmarket".
He looked like he was lying. Arya repressed the urge to ask about Stoneheart. Tom would not answer her questions before and she did not have time to argue now. "Take me there" she demanded.
Tom sighed. "That was the plan". He gave her a sidelong look. "You will have to come alone".
"I know that. I'm not stupid" Arya snapped. "I remember how things used to work".
Tom gave her a solemn look. "A lot has changed since then" he said quietly.
Arya darted back to her room to gather what she needed to disguise herself. She wore a long hooded cloak over her boiled leather and made sure she took Needle as well as her finger knife and the blade hidden in her boot. When she left with Tom it was assumed she was a camp follower and no questions were asked. She was fortunate that Nymeria was out hunting, the direwolf had found some of her old pack of wolves. If the wolf had followed her she would have been recognised instantly.
She was surprised to see that Tom was prepared. They did not get far before they were met by a man with horses for them. Arya felt a surge of irritation. This was planned, they always wanted to provoke me into going to them. She felt a sense of foreboding mix with the resentment she had tried to bury from years earlier when the Brotherhood had stopped her from reaching her mother. The man holding the horses greeted her as familiar. She recognised him despite the years.
"Harwin" she said stiffly.
"It is good to see you are well my lady" he replied in a friendly tone.
"It's your grace now" Tom offered.
Arya huffed impatiently, not interested in small talk.
"Don't waste time" she warned. "If I find out he was hanged just before I got there I will make you sorry".
She mounted her horse and spurred it on. Tom and Harwin allowed her to set the pace without argument though Tom did try to jape about her hurry. It was met with a glare from Arya and a queer look from Harwin. When they reached the river they were met by more men. Arya recognised Lem and Jack-Be-Lucky though they looked harder now. We are all hardened. She refused to engage in pleasantries.
There was talk of putting a hood over her head when they reached the other bank. Arya fingered the hilt of Needle and let them know what she thought of that. They were insistent though so Arya gave in.
"If I wanted to turn you in I would have outed Tom at the Twins" she protested as darkness descended.
They began to mull over that and Arya swung quickly into the saddle. She heard them make surprised noises and allowed herself a smile under her hood. I have spent enough time blind that this hood will be rather pointless. Her smile did not last long. I have been gone too long and come too far. She knew there was going to be trouble in the camps now.
Arya counted as best she could as they travelled. It was harder on horseback than on foot. She kept mindful of changes in direction. She heard other voices not long down the road. Other men had joined them. When she dismounted one tried to take Needle from her. Arya heard a crunch as her elbow made contact with his face. There was harsh laughter.
"She's broken your nose again".
Lem she realised instantly. His voice was muffled when he responded. "I should have worn that bloody helm".
"If you try again I will do worse" Arya declared, keeping her voice level.
That was met with more laughter until she heard Tom interject.
"I would not test her" he said. "I believe she is not japing".
They went quiet for a bit and then Arya began to feel the ground sloping downwards. The air around her felt different, sounds changed and she could smell that it was more earthy. They have taken me to the hollow hill. The sounds began to fade away until she heard footsteps approaching. She was about to try and remove the hood when it was removed for her.
"Thoros" she said instantly. He still wore his robes though they looked even more faded. He looked older, more worn down. He gave her a tired smile when he saw her studying him.
"I would say the years have been kinder to you than me but I know that is not true".
Arya fought the urge to cringe. He sees things in the flames, just like Melisandre. He offered her a piece of bread and she took it and sat down as he did the same. She wanted to ask him so many things but she did not know where to start. She chewed on the bread while she thought quickly then she heard a distant scuff of a boot and realised others were listening. She scowled.
"They fear you might try to kill me" Thoros explained.
If I wanted to they could not stop me.
"Is there a reason I would want to kill you?" she asked.
He smiled wanly and Arya felt her stomach lurch. Something is wrong here.
"I need to warn you child. The Brotherhood is not what is used to be. The war has taken its toll. There are wounds which will not heal and those wounds have had a truly dire effect". He sighed. "The order used to be about honour and justice or so we told ourselves".
"Killing Freys was about vengeance as much as justice" Arya said slowly.
"Just so" Thoros said, shaking his head. "Unfortunately justice can be lost in the quest for vengeance. Lady Stoneheart has taught me that".
"Where is Olyvar Frey" she asked urgently.
Before he could respond, others stepped into the chamber of the cave with them. There were two of them. Lem on the left was holding a rag to his bleeding nose and looking at her with a murderous expression. Arya's breath caught in her throat when she looked at the man on the right. He was the one who answered her.
"He is waiting to face judgement".
He looked the same but he was different. He still had the thick black hair and deep blue eyes but they were angrier now. He had looked big and strong before, he was even more so now. He had grown a beard. Arya noted he wore a swordbelt and the blade looked to be a good one. It was not valyrian steel but it was not the old stolen blades the outlaws used to carry.
"Gendry"
He flashed a quick smile but it was fleeting. "Your Grace".
Arya scowled. "You don't call me that. I'm still Arya. Anyway, Olyvar already faced judgement".
Gendry's expression darkened. "There are different sorts of judgement".
Arya looked to Thoros. "What is going on? I was brought here. Where is Lord Beric? Who is this Stoneheart?" She could hear that her voice was no longer remotely calm and she couldn't control it. "Olyvar did nothing wrong. I promised him no harm".
"Lord Beric is no longer with us" Thoros said softly. "He is truly dead now".
"Valar Morghulis" Arya said softly.
Thoros looked pained and Gendry looked confused. Lem was less subtle.
"What are you on about girl?"
Arya gave him a cold look. "It means all men must die".
Lem snorted. "If you think that I don't know why you're fretting about this Frey".
"He is not the rest of his family" Arya said defensively.
"M'lady will know" Gendry interjected.
Thoros excused himself and Lem went with him. Gendry lingered. He moved closer and sat down beside her, looking at her with an expression that was softer. She could see he had something he wanted to say.
"I thought you were dead for so long. I'm glad you're not".
"Brienne told me" she replied. She saw him tense at the abruptness of her tone. She tried to soften it. We were friends once. "I hope you have been well".
His jaw worked. "None of us have been well".
That is too true.
She tried to think of something to say. We used to be able to talk so easily. She asked about his sword and he showed it to her proudly. He had forged it himself. He asked her where she had been and Arya avoided fully answering the question, instead telling him she had escaped to Essos and after returning to Westeros she had reclaimed Winterfell for her brother Rickon.
"Brienne is in Winterfell with him now. She is protecting him for me".
Arya noticed he tensed a little each time she mentioned Brienne's name. He is not happy about something that happened. It began to be uncomfortably warm and Arya removed her cloak. It only took her a moment to realise Gendry was looking over her intently, his eyes burning into her. He looked away when he realised she had caught him.
"Don't look at me like that" she said, remembering what Brienne had told her.
"Like what?" Gendry said defensively. She saw a flush creep up his neck.
Arya put her head in her hands. "We used to be friends. That is all we will be".
When she looked up she saw that he was flushed then his expression became angry. "I'm just a bastard. I'm not fit for your grace anyway. You're meant to marry some lord". His mouth twisted "or a prince".
Arya snorted, trying to ignore the obvious reference to Aegon. "You being a bastard has nothing to do with this. I'm not going to marry anybody... ever".
Gendry looked shocked. "I thought..." he said slowly.
"What?" she asked suspiciously.
The tips of his ears went red. "I heard that you might be... with the prince"
Arya tensed. "I don't want to talk about it".
Gendry scowled. "Tom told us to leave. He made sure we weren't caught at the inn but you were watched. He's not better than King Robert you know. He might act like it but he'll father bastards too. He had some camp follower in his room".
Arya sighed. Of course we were heard. "You don't know what you are talking about".
Gendry gave her a look which clearly told her he thought she was deluding herself and Arya decided to let it go. She supposed it was better than people knowing the truth.
Arya had teased Aegon about other women only the night before Olyvar had gone missing and he had looked unusually serious.
"There are no other women Arya. From the time we met I have not strayed. If it was not for the dragons I would keep to your bed".
It frightened her because she could see he was telling the truth. He was telling her that he was hers. She had tried to protest and he would not let her.
"He is a good man" she told Gendry. "You don't know me anymore. I'm not the same person I was. Aegon wanted to marry me but I refused. It changes nothing. You need to think of me only as a friend Gendry. I won't be my Aunt, caught between Baratheon and Targaryen. Brienne told me who you are"
"I'm just a bastard" Gendry said in a flat voice.
"You're more than that" Arya said. "You know you are but it makes no matter". She reached for his hand and he let her take it and give it a gentle squeeze. "You can't return to the inn after I leave here. There are men who would recognise you".
Thoros had returned and he and Gendry shared a look. Gendry gently pulled his hand from hers and left her with Thoros. Arya's thoughts returned to Olyvar and Lady Stoneheart.
"You still have not told me of her".
Arya's quest for answers ended when she heard a cry of horror from further in the cave. She leapt to her feet. Thoros tried to reach for her.
"There are some things you should not see".
Arya wrenched away from him. "That was Olyvar". She began to run. "What are you doing to him?"
She could hear Thoros scrambling behind her. They were trying to distract me. She would not be caught. She was too quick for that. She found the others gathered in the larger cavern she remembered from years earlier. There was a fire pit in the centre of the floor. Men, women and children were gathered around watching. She spotted Olyvar standing in front of a trestle table across the cave, his wrists bound with rope. She shouted to him but he seemed unable to even look at her.
Some of the men tried to block her path as she darted across the cavern but she was not having it. She made it to Olyvar's side and grasped his arm, ignoring the shout from Jack-Be-Lucky who was standing on the opposite side of the prisoner. Olyvar was the colour of milk.
"Olyvar" she said softly.
She heard footsteps behind her and guessed Thoros had arrived but he was forgotten when Arya looked to see what it was that had shaken Olyvar so badly. Her legs felt for a moment as though they had turned to jelly and she struggled to keep her footing.
"Mother?"
The woman in grey had been her mother, Arya could see that. The creature in front of Arya was a walking corpse. Half her hair was gone and what remained was white and brittle. Her face was ripped, the flesh hanging and gaping and in parts Arya could see signs of decay. The slash in her throat was plain to see and she was making a croaking wheezing sound.
"The Lady says he must hang" Harwin explained.
Arya fingered the hilt of Needle and looked around. There are too many,
"Give us the sword child" Thoros said gently.
Arya scanned the faces in the cavern. She strode quickly, unsheathing the sword and saw them jump to reach for their own weapons. She searched Gendry's face, looking for the boy she used to know.
"Can I trust you?" she asked.
He looked startled but he nodded. She gave him the sword, hilt first.
"I will want it back".
She returned to Olyvar's side, thankful that they had been too distracted to drag him off while her back was turned. She resumed her examination of the thing that had once been her mother. Her appearance was not what affected Arya, not truly. Arya had seen horrors in the House of Black and White. Sad to say she had seen worse. What affected Arya was her mother's eyes.
Arya remembered her mother as warm. She had scolded Arya often but there was affection mixed with it. Her mother had cared. Her mother had been Tully through and through. Family, duty, honour. Arya looked at the woman in front of her and all she could see was hate. This was not her mother.
This is Lady Stoneheart
"Mother" she said softly, trying to appeal to her. "Olyvar took no part. You know he was not there. He did not hurt our family. He has been serving me. He has been good and loyal".
Lady Stoneheart choked out more sounds.
"He will not turn over those who were responsible" Harwin said. "He has continued to serve with the other Freys. He must hang".
Arya felt tears prick her eyes. "He can't hand them over. I killed them! I already punished the Boltons and the Freys who took part". My mother would understand this.
"He preyed on your weakness".
Arya stepped forward, fingers outstretched. She touched Lady Stoneheart's face, running her fingers along the brittle hair, lightly caressing the torn skin. She searched for a glimmer of emotion other than hate and anger and found none.
"Do you know me mother?" she asked. "Do you think of Rickon? He is very like Robb now".
The reaction of Stoneheart to Robb's name was an awful sound. It was a true sound of suffering. Clawed fingers gouged into Arya's wrists, prompting her to pull her hands back. She turned on Thoros.
"You should not have allowed this"
"She is your mother" he said. "Lord Beric passed life onto her. The Lord of Light raised her".
She looked into his face, her own fury surfacing. She switched to the bastard Valyrian spoken in Myr so that only he would understand.
"She was my mother. My mother is dead and she should have stayed that way. I was stupid when I asked you about father. I was a stupid girl who didn't know better".
She heard murmurs behind her. Thoros paled.
"Where did you learn Valyrian"
Arya pursed her lips. "I crossed the narrow sea. I speak many languages now".
Her hands were resting on the trestle table and she heard Lady Stoneheart making noises. She was gripping a crown. It was bronze with iron spikes.
"I wear the crown now" she said to Lady Stoneheart. "I did not want it but they needed me so I took it. I will punish those who remain. The Lannisters are the only ones left. I will find the guilty. Aegon will deal with any who escape me".
She turned back to the others in the Brotherhood.
"What is dead should stay dead. Have you forgotten what Lord Beric said? When he came back he lost who he was. I did not understand that at the time but I do now"
"M'lady says it has to be finished" Lem said.
Arya looked around at them and at Olyvar, shaken and trembling beside her. She recalled what the Kindly man had told her, that death was a merciful end to suffering. She had come to disagree with him on that in many cases but she could see where he might be right. She could see where it might truly be a gift.
"It has to be finished" she repeated.
She looked to Thoros again and closed her eyes. She tried to calm herself, taking deep breaths. She heard them begin to take Olyvar away and steeled herself. She recalled what the Hound had said of the gift of mercy and moved quickly before anybody could stop her.
"Valar Morghulus" she whispered.
Her finger knife slid in, smooth as silk into Lady Stoneheart's chest where the heart would be. There was no breath, there was no blood. The corpse that was her mother seemed to crumple in front of her. I hope you are with father and Robb now. She heard an anguished cry and it took her a moment to realise it had come from her own lips.
She heard shouting but her vision had blurred. She could not see. She could not hear. The blood was pounding in her ears and her breath was coming in shallow gasps.
Can you be a kinslayer if the person you killed was already dead?
She began to stumble, trying to get out of the cavern. She did not make it far before she was restrained. They will kill me. She felt strangely numb about it. The hole was back, the hole where her heart was meant to be. Aegon and Rickon and Jon had helped her feel again but now she felt hollow. The knife was twisted out of her hand and she didn't fight it.
"Does she have any more?"
"I'm not touching her to find out"
"What do we do about the Frey?"
Strong arms lifted her and she was being carried. They set her down gently, back in the cave where Thoros had been talking to her. They offered her water. Why are they offering water to me? Why haven't they killed me already? She knocked the cup aside and heard somebody call her an ungrateful bitch. Arya didn't care.
She heard her name being called but she tried to block it out, staring dully at the wall of the cave. She didn't react until she felt Robb's crown being thrust into her hands. She looked down at it, confused then raised her eyes to meet Gendry's deep blue ones. He looked concerned. He then produced Needle, looking at her warily.
"If I give this back to you will you stab me with it?"
Arya shook her head and took the offered sword, setting it down in her lap. She looked down at her hands.
"I killed her" she whispered.
"No child" Thoros said from behind her. "She was already dead. You had the right of it".
Arya turned on him. "I hate you for making me do that" she spat.
She reached for the water after all but could only manage a sip. She closed her eyes and tried to think past what had happened in the cavern. She suddenly remembered her men, Aegon.
"I have to go" she blurted. "They will be looking for me".
She struggled to her feet. When she made it to the entrance of the chamber there were men blocking her way.
"Am I a prisoner?" she asked, turning back to Thoros and Gendry.
Gendry shook his head.
"We just hoped to speak with you" Thoros said. "The Lannisters have hunted us. I wanted to know of Prince Aegon".
Thoros looked worn down. Gendry didn't meet her gaze. He was scowling. I do not want to speak of politics she thought, fighting to push past the hollow feeling in her chest. I do not want to be queen right now. She looked at the crown in her hands.
"He is merciful though my opinion may change that" she said flatly. "What did you do to Olyvar".
Thoros smiled wanly. "That decision now rests with you. Our leader is gone. There are those who would look to you now".
Arya wanted to scream and she almost did. I am so sick of duty. She thought of what Aegon had told her. He would say she could do this. She took a shaky breath. I just need to get through this so they will let me go. She tried to think of what her father would have said. It hurt to think of him after what she had just seen, what she had been forced to do.
"Let him go" she said abruptly. "Let me go too. Find your own way. You could plead for a pardon from Aegon, he would likely give it but the worst should take the black. Mayhaps they could regain some honour".
They still took a while before they stood aside for her. People came and went, some shooting her dark looks, others looking fearful. Some called her your grace. Arya struggled to acknowledge any of them. Harwin returned just before they let her go. He knelt in front of her. She shoved the crown into his hands.
"This needs to go to Winterfell. Whatever else you have done you used to be my father's man". She saw him flinch. "Take it, I cannot look at it".
"It is yours, Your Grace" he said, looking at it.
"No" Arya said bitterly. "I have one already. I could not wear that knowing where it has been". She paused. "Wait until the army has moved on then go North". She felt a tear roll down her cheek and angrily brushed it away. "My mother's body..."
Thoros interjected. "You do not need to worry. We will lay her to rest. She should be taken to the river".
Arya nodded and began to make her way out of the cave. She stumbled a few times as she went and Gendry took hold of her arm to help her. It seemed she had lost all her training. It will come back. Olyvar had been freed though he was still shaking. Some of the Brotherhood accompanied them, those wanted to seek redemption. Thoros was amongst them. Despite what she had told Gendry he insisted on riding with her to the river.
"It is like you said" he said softly. "We were friends once. I will leave when I know you will be alright".
I will never be alright.
They rode quietly for a while before she addressed him again. "You are better than the Brotherhood" she said quietly. "Find a better way. Be the knight you wanted to be".
He did not answer her. When they reached the river he sat with her in the boat. They were almost to the other side when Arya heard the wolf howl. Nymeria. The sound echoed her own pain.
Postscript: I may be wrong but I don't think Arya's reaction to Lady Stoneheart in this would be farfetched. I feel as though the emphasis on mercy with the Hound, Arya witnessing Lord Beric's talk of how he felt about being revived and all the talk by the Kindly man of death being an end to suffering might prompt her to want to end her mother's suffering. Gendry fans do not fret, he might be friendzoned (to borrow a term I saw in another Arya/Aegon fic I loved) but he is not gone from the story. I just refused to make the romance side of things any messier than it already was so he won't go South with Arya. I go on about needing to edit a lot, I may need to with this one too. It turned so huge it was difficult to check properly. I have read it numerous times but that doesn't mean I have not missed rough patches.