"We have to dare to be ourselves,
however frightening or strange that self may prove to be."
May Sarton
Daryl's POV
Three days after we came back from Woodbury I woke up really early, even earlier than I'm used to. I walked outside and saw one of the most beautiful sunrises I had ever seen, filling me with hope and positive emotions for the day.
I had so many things in my head that I just couldn't go back to sleep, even when I still was a bit tired and not well rested.
Not long after the sunrise, I saw Rick walking out of the prison as he normally does, just to check everything is in order inside and outside. He waved at me and I waved back.
I had been wanting to discuss something with Rick for the last three days but I hadn't found the right time, especially now that we brought back so many people and our hands were a bit busy and I had chickened out as well, finding excuses to prolong it and not having to talk to him but now it was just us, the perfect moment to discuss this and I couldn't help but feel really nervous about it, which was so strange for me.
I waited for Rick to approach me, I knew he was going to walk close to me sooner or later and I decided that if no one else wakes up by the time he comes here then it's my sign to tell him.
As Rick kept doing his usual round around the fence and every minute coming closer and closer to me, I glanced at the door over and and over again, half wishing someone to come out of it would be my sign to not say anything, but no one did come out.
"Hey, Rick!" I exclaimed when Rick was only a about five feet away from me. I walked towards him, shortening the distance between us, feeling my heartbeat increasing a bit and my hands started to sweat.
Rick started a normal conversation, first asking how I was and then speaking about the people from Woodbury and the Governor, who had disappeared from the surface of the earth for now.
"Hey, are you alright?" Rick asked me, noticing I kept fidgeting and playing with my fingers, habits I never do.
"Actually I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Alright," he said, standing up straighter in front of me and nodded at me, in a way to tell me I had his full attention. "What is it?"
"It's uh, it's about Cecilia." I bit my lip nervously but soon stopped, I was never like this.
"What about her?" he asked and I could sense the slight nervousness in his voice. "Is she okay?"
"She's fine, she is. No need to worry about her." I sighed. "Look, this is not easy for me and I actually feel really embarrassed by doing this but I feel like I should."
"Just tell me, Daryl."
I glanced down at the ground for a few seconds, sighing again. I had never felt so insecure about something and never really discussed anything like this with anyone, so I was in unknown territory, feeling so... vulnerable. I looked up at Rick again as I built up as much courage as I could manage.
"I like her, Rick," I told him, his eyes got bigger for a second or two before he composed himself again. "And we are together, like, together together, ya know?"
"Oh."
"I wouldn't be discussing this if she were... you know, a few years older and if her mum wouldn't be so against the idea of us being together, even being just friends," I said. "I tried to ignore what I felt because she's just a girl and once I realized they were too strong to just pretend they didn't exist I still couldn't help but feel it would be wrong but..." I sighed. "But it happened and I just wanted to tell you because we were thinking about telling the others, wanted to know your opinion first."
Rick just looked at me in complete silence until he looked away, put one of his hands over his mouth and rested the other on his hip and then he took a very deep breath, making me even more nervous about this, thinking he was just going to tell me I was a sick bastard for being with someone so young.
"I never expected this, to be honest. I mean, yeah, I noticed stuff and all but never thought it would actually happen, I don't know," he told me. "Honestly? If she were my daughter, and I love her as if she were, I wouldn't like her to be with someone probably twice her age. But..." he said, giving me a bit of hope. "Out of all the men here, I would rather her to be with you than anyone else."
"Why?" I asked him very surprised.
"Because I know the real you and I trust you. I can't even compare you with that friend of hers, Oliver or Sean or anyone else. I know that if she were in a trouble they would bolt to save their own asses but you would sacrifice yourself, I'm sure of that, like when you almost died trying to find her," he told me, taking a step closer to me. "Besides, I think there are other more important things to worry about these days than an age gap."
I nodded at him, because he was right. All the old laws don't apply anymore and what it mattered it doesn't matter or exist no more. Then Rick put his hand firmly on my shoulder as he looked into my eyes.
"If you find happiness in this world, Daryl," he said. "You better cherish it, because you don't know how much it's going to last. Happiness and joy are two things pretty hard to find, even more than before and I think you are extremely lucky if you find them and actually allow yourself to experience that."
"So, you are okay with it?" I asked after a short pause, not knowing what else to say.
Rick flashed me a smile and nodded at me, making me feel like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. He let his hand drop to his side but he kept his gaze fixed on me.
"But like I said, I love her as my own daughter and if you hurt her in any way, I'll hunt you down and make you pay for it, understand?" I nodded.
"I won't hurt her, Rick," I assured him.
"I know and that's what I meant about you being the best for her."
"Ho – how should I, uh, should we tell the others?" I asked, stuttering a bit.
"Just go straight to the chase," Rick told me, he was completely serious but then he smiled and a small chuckle left his lips. "And be sure Carol isn't holding a gun or any weapon for that matter."
"Good idea," I said with a big sigh, I knew he was just joking but I couldn't laugh along with him, fearing Carol's actual reaction.
"Just in case, I'll be close to her. Just give me a sign so I can know."
I thanked Rick and as I did I saw Cecilia walking out of the prison with my old crossbow in hand. Rick smiled at me knowingly, pat my shoulder and continued to walk next to the fence, checking everything to be okay.
Soon a redhead girl, probably as old as Cecilia, joined her. Cecilia smiled at the girl and they exchanged a few words and I could tell by their body language that this wasn't the first time they were seeing each other, they had already met before.
Cecilia loaded the crossbow and then raised it, and a few seconds later shot at the same target we used the first time I took her here to practice. The other girl looked shocked, it seemed Cecilia's aim has improved a lot, she hit the target on her first try, I guess I'll have to move the target farther away from her and draw a smaller circle to challenge her.
"Don't drool, okay?"
I snapped out of my trance and saw Michonne smirking at me, I was so taken aback and embarrassed to be caught like that, I couldn't even come up with a good come back.
"Goddamn it, woman! Don't scare me like that!"
With a grunt I walked away from her and as I did, I actually heard her chuckling. I ignored her and just kept going, preparing myself for the day.
As expected, we didn't have much free time, with so many new people that wasn't a surprised. They were all confused and scared and usually asked for assistance but others usually looked for Rick or me to ask how they could help, some of those people were Tyresse, Sasha, Karen and a young guy called Louis, he was a couple of years older than Carl.
So, we all assigned them temporary jobs, including keeping guard, now we had about three people up watching around and the shifts didn't last more than an hour or two.
Four days later, when we found more time and things were more organized we even made a reunion to discuss about what to do with the food and the supplies. The people present were Hershel, Rick, Carol, Glenn, Maggie and I.
Just as Rick wanted to do even before all the Governor drama, he proposed to fix the fence so we could grow crops, we had enough space to do that and maybe plant some vegetables that didn't take that long to grow.
About four of us, including Maggie, who knew a bit about seeds and crops were going on the run, Glenn was obviously going as well.
We also arranged another run to check some places for canned food, we had enough food for about a month but we needed more, just in case of an emergency or something unpredicted, like the Governor thing.
We were going to inform the rest of the people about the runs and if anyone volunteers, then they are welcome to join us, as long as they have skills and can defend themselves or at least run fast, so no less than half of them were discarded.
Luckily two men offered to help fix the fence even before we talked about it, they said that was their job before shit hit the fan, we just needed to make a nice plan to kill the walkers that were already in, keep others from walking inside as they worked in the fence. We should discuss that and soon but now it was already too late to do something about it, the sun was already going down.
I didn't have the chance to spend much time with Cecilia today or any of these days but at dinner I managed to sit next to her, the red-haired girl from earlier was on her other side, talking about something I wasn't paying attention to.
Neither Cecilia nor me had had the courage to tell the rest of the group about us, a whole week had passed since I told Rick about it, I wanted to tell everyone so I can finally get that off my shoulders but I didn't know how.
Rick had told me it was better to do it soon, that the two of us would feel better if we just get it done but we keep postponing it over and over, always saying 'tomorrow will be the day' but seven days had passed and tomorrow hadn't come yet.
I decided it was better to just do it and get it over with so before we gathered here, I told Cecilia I was going to tell everyone about us, I already said I was going to do that but didn't and she didn't seem too convinced I was going to do it but when I assured her I didn't want to keep delaying it, she looked a bit scared but she nodded at me.
So, when I tapped her shoulder after we were all done she knew exactly what that tap meant, she nodded at me and heard her taking a big breath. Before standing up, I glanced at Rick and nodded at him, he nodded back, he stood up and casually stood close to Carol like he told me he would, she coincidentally was next to Carl, so Rick just pretended he needed to say something to Carl and nobody suspected anything weird was going on.
Suddenly I wasn't feeling as nervous as I had been all week or when I told Rick, at least I had his approval, I didn't give a shit about the other's opinion, except maybe Carol's, because she was Cecilia's mother and I knew that no matter how much Cecilia hated her, her opinion will always matter to her.
Rick told me to go straight to the chase and I wasn't good with speeches anyway, so that's what I was going to do, thing I should probably have done when I told Rick, I was so nervous it was even ridiculous, I seemed like a teenage boy informing his parents he got a girl pregnant, that wasn't like me, so, without giving more thought about it, I just stood up and looked at everyone in the room, they all looked back at me, wondering why I had just stood there looking at them and not walked somewhere.
"Cecilia and I are together," I said loudly and thanks to the light from some candles I could see some of the expression from the people.
Cecilia looked a bit shocked about the way I told them, it wasn't the most subtle and gentle way but I finally told them, it was done now and it was better to just not keep going in circles, they were going to be told eventually anyway.
The girl next to Cecilia, whose name I keep forgetting, gasped, Carl didn't look surprised but he smirked at me, that boy locked us in that room almost a couple of weeks ago, I was sure he was going to be on our side. Glenn had his mouth wide opened, letting himself drop on his plate a piece of bread he was eating, gotten from Woodbury. Hershel's face was expressionless, so I wasn't sure if he was okay with this or not. Hershel was a man of morals and always stood by them and his beliefs, he probably believed this was wrong.
Axel, just looked down at the ground in an awkward way. Maggie looked a bit stunned but didn't look upset, Beth didn't either. She actually smiled when she recovered from the shock. Oliver and Sean didn't look that happy, though, especially Sean, but I didn't give a damn about them either. Michonne just smirked at me the same way she did when she caught me staring at Cecilia a week ago and when she caught Cecilia pecking my lips when we thought we were alone two days ago, she already knew, she and Andrea were the first people to be told about it and I knew that, but I didn't care about all of their reaction as much as one person's, Carol.
It wasn't that she was more important to me than anyone else in the group but I knew she was against us even before we got together and I was seriously fearing she was going to try something, I knew Cecilia was a bit wary of her as well.
Carol didn't say or do anything for a very long time, her face gave no emotions away. I knew she wasn't happy because of what happened days ago but if nothing had happened then, I wouldn't be sure what she was feeling right now.
After a very long awkward silence, Cecilia stood up and held my big hand in hers, in a supportive way. None of us liked displaying affection in public, that was obvious but this time, it felt okay, it felt just right.
"You don't have to like it," she told them. "You just have to accept it."
"I ship it!" Carl muttered, probably louder than he intended, drawing the attention to him.
Honestly, I had no idea what the hell he meant by that but by the grin on his face I could only assume it was a nice thing, and somehow it helped to defuse the tension in the room.
"When did this happen?" Glenn asked, finally closing his mouth.
"The day Carl locked us in that room so we could fix things," Cecilia answered him. "So, just uh." Cecilia made a short pause to count the days with the help of her fingers, stopping holding my hand in the process. "Eleven days."
"I thought you were still mad at each other until the Woodbury thing," Oliver exclaimed.
"We pretended that we were still mad, wanted to keep this a secret a bit longer," Cecilia once again answered. "But after Andrea and Merle died and knowing more of us could die at any moment we decided to just tell you."
I looked at Carol once again but still her face was expressionless, I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or scared, maybe she was silently trying to find the most painful way to kill me.
Soon, everyone exited the room, the redhead girl, going back to the other block with her people. I was going to leave the room when I noticed Carol was still in there, I stopped myself and walked towards her, wanting to make this right for the good of all.
"I can't stay away from her, Carol," I admitted as I stopped right in front of her, she just looked up at me. "I promise I won't hurt her, actually, I'll try my hardest to keep her safe."
"She's my little girl, Daryl," she muttered. "She is all I have left."
"I know and I'm not taking her from you, I'm just... asking you to share her with me," I said, trying to find the right words. "I know this must be really hard for you, I'm just a too old man for her in your eyes, but I want to tell you that I care about her, now that Merle is gone, she's the most important person in my life and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe."
Carol just nodded at me but still she looked angry, since everyone left her face finally showed some emotions, including anger.
"Just give me a chance," I told her. "You have no idea how important your approval is to Cecilia."
"I know," she exclaimed. "That's why I controlled myself earlier but that doesn't mean I approve."
"Will you ever do?"
"Let me tell you something, you may not see it and she may even not know it herself but she's very damaged, Daryl, I guess I have some of the blame, she will break down one day, just like that day back at the farm when she wanted to kill herself and you have to be ready when that happens and you have to know how to handle it."
"I'm sorry, Carol, but what does that have to do with this? You already told me you think she's just a broken and fragile girl."
"These last few days I realized I can't stop her from being with you, it's her choice and I'm not sure if I'll ever approve but that means that I won't be there when it happens, when she finally breaks down and even if I am, she'll rely on you and I don't want to lose the only daughter I have left so I trust you'll be there when her facade comes to an end and she falls down."
"I won't let that happen," I assured her, trying to control my anger. I hated how much this woman underestimated her own daughter, she may be a bit damaged but we all were, that didn't mean she was going to break as she said.
"She wanted to kill herself that day when the farm was overrun," she told me. "Andrea told me that as soon as the last car got out of view she fell down on the ground and pointed her gun at her head, if Andrea hadn't stopped her she would have done it."
"She was scared, cornered. Who wouldn't think of ending it in that situation?"
"None of us did."
"I told you the other day and I'll tell you again, Cecilia is stronger than you think and you should stop thinking less of what she is," I stated, starting to get angry. "Anyway, I came here so we can talk about Cecilia and I and make this right, mostly for her sake."
"I love her and I just want the best for her," she told me. "And I also want to make things right between us and if that means stepping aside and letting you be with her, then I will, just because I love her and I don't want to keep pushing her away and lose her for good."
I didn't know what happened between them but I knew things were bad right now. I knew they were worse than usual when Cecilia mentioned something about Carol and instead of calling her mum, she said Carol. She noticed and tried to cover her slip up, calling her mum afterwards and talking really fast, sign that she was nervous.
"Whatever you did, Carol, I know you'll earn her forgiveness if you work for it."
With that I walked out of the room, leaving Carol alone in there, being extremely satisfied with how this evening turned out, better than I ever expected. No one yelled at us or said how immoral our relationship was, not even Hershel, who at the end seemed like he wanted to object and Carol didn't shoot me or stab me, which was a nice surprise, she actually acted quite civilized in front of people but still angered me by what she said to me about Cecilia.
The good thing was that she admitted she was going to step aside, let us be together and just swallow her pride because she loved Cecilia, thing Cecilia had been wondering lately, I knew, even when she hadn't actually said it with words.
Before going to my cell, I stopped in front of Cecilia's. She was already sleeping. She was lying on her stomach and her left hand was hanging from the bed, her fingertips barely touching the floor.
I walked towards her, smiled at how peacefully she looked and then leant down and kissed the top of her head. I pulled the covers higher than they were, the night was pretty cold. I walked out of there and went to my own cell, mentally promising myself that no matter what I was going to keep her safe, I couldn't lose her too. I already lost her twice, I wouldn't bare to lose her a third time, especially now that Merle is gone.
I just knew that things were going to get really hard and we will have to overcome many, many things but no matter what, we were going to succeed them all... together.
Okay guys, this is the last chapter of this book. I can't believe it, I'm quite surprised and feeling a bit melancholic but yeah, this is the end... for now.
I have more chapters written, lots of them, so don't worry, the sequel will be out soon, I just need to think of a good title for it, and I will be gone for two weeks because of my trip so, yeah but I hope you all enjoyed this part, Daryl and Cecilia finally accepted their own feelings and got together and I'm really satisfied with the fact that the very last chapter was written on Daryl's POV, I love to write on his, probably because it's such a challenge, Daryl is such a unique character and I have such a hard time to understand how he feels and stuff and sometimes I think I don't really capture his personality and feelings but I hope you still like it :)
So, as I said, this is the end, I usually take a month to start a sequel, just to have a little break but I think this time I will only take these two weeks or maybe three. I would love to read opinions or ideas for the new title, everything is welcome. I like to keep my titles short, two to three words.
And please don't unheart/unfavourite this, I will be posting the link of the sequel on here :) And most importantly thank you all for your incredible support, all your reviews, comments, opinions, messages and votes (Wattpad) and hearts in Quotev, and the amazingly high number of follows/favourites in Fanficion. net, all of you have been amazing and thank you for that, it does mean a lot.
I seriously never thought I would write a story like this, I never thought I could. I struggled sometimes but somehow I made it work, sort of :P I started this because someone thought I should and I decided to give it a try and surprisingly it has become my longest story with so many more words than the rest of my stories, and I feel like because of this story I have progressed a lot as a writer, and I thank you for being with me on this journey! :) I will be back soon, adios! :P