So it goes with saying that only things I own with any connection to MARVEL I bought on Ebay or Etsy. MARVEL COMICS & MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE are their own creatures and I have nothing to do with either of them aside from the fact I enjoy reading or watching them, and am grateful for the ability to play in their world. I claim nothing, and I receive nothing for this, expect the pleasure of putting something out into the world.
You can also find this story on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN under the same title and pen name along with a place to post suggestions.
Don't forget to check out the Photobucket album listed on my profile page too. (My apologies. I didn't realize FF removed the links. I have corrected the problem in what way I can, so for those who like the visual additions, feel free to check them out.)
DAY THREE
CHAPTER EIGHTY EIGHT
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1608 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
LOKI
I felt it, I felt her, I felt panic and rage. The bond was only completed enough to let me pull from her, it was not supposed to let her have any control of the link, however the fact that there is a link at all does allow for some things to pass both ways. One of those things is enormous emotional intensity.
They surprised me enough that i quickly cut my arrangements with agent barton and the doctor short, turning and all but racing back to that room, unconcerned that they followed in my wake.
Her emotions didn't tell me what had happened, or why her emotions spiked so intensely, but they didn't have to. Their presence was explaination enough. She woke up, and remembering the state I left her in explained her emotions well enough.
I was prepared to find her in conflict with the humans I left her in their care, it only made sense if she woke up in such a state, reason would be the last thing on her mind.
I didn't expect to find a woman lying in a teardrop puddle of blood, on end pointed in spatters from where it sprayed from her throat. I didn't expect to find the other woman still alive but paralyzed, physically, and perhaps mentally given her unblinking terror. In the middle of it all was a sight I expected even less. Arnora naked except for blood, and bending the doctor's spine backwards as she she held his head beneath the waterline of the bath tub with a snarl.
"Arnora?!"
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1609 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
SUBJECT: 103671
I snapped to attention at the sound of another voice, another male. I was ready to kill this one too, until my eyes took in the sight. I barely even heard the scientist's body fall, with my hands no longer forming a ring around his throat too small for his jaw bone to pass through, his paralyzed body was finally able to submit to gravity again, the mass of him outside the basin being greater then the mass within, and dragging him free of the pool. He was able to cough and gasp like a fish, so he wasn't dead yet, but I didn't care because there was someone else here now, someone else I gave up hope of ever seeing again while I lived.
ARNORA
I hated him once, I loathed him so much, I only hated one person more in my life. His father, my 'king', Odin. I choose the Bifrost over spending one more day in slavery masked as servitude to that bastard on that throne, and I left his raven haired son with the memory of my curses in his ears.
My baby was dead because of Loki, because of that thing I knew he made deals with. I didn't know the details, but when I felt the same echo of the energy that tried to choke me to death lingering on my daughter's throat I knew Loki was to blame. Odin took more of the guilt for Kenna's death when he declared me mad. There was no such creature in Asgard, and no curse had been laid on my infant he said. My daughter's death was just an unfortunate accident, and I was just insane with grief and looking for something to blame. HE KNEW WHAT KILLED MY BABY AND HE WAS PROTECTING IT TO PROTECT HIMSELF! ODIN LET MY BABY DIE TO PROTECT HIS REPUTATION!
That rage carried me for years, but my hatred for Loki didn't last nearly as long. I couldn't forget Loki's confusion at the sight of me, desperate and uninvited in his halls with my daughter tied to my chest. The look of horror and guilt when he realized what had happened too late, and the Einharjar dragged me screaming away from him, and the body of my baby in his hands. His order for them to let me go, cancelled by the order of Odin's to imprison me for my attempt at 'necromancy'.
Necromancy was Odin's lie, because Kenna wasn't dead yet, I could still feel a spark of her struggling underneath that curse, I still felt it before they tore her away from me, and her last chance at life. He called that an illusion of my desperate mind, as if a healer, as if the healer who inherited Eir's magick, and would one day her position as the Royal healer couldn't tell the difference between life and death!
Loki begged his father to forgive me, he convinced his mother to beg for me as well. I was a 16 year old mother who just lost her first child. I was too young for him to expect me to be able to handle such grief rationally, I was desperate and heartbroken, but that did not make me a traitor. I would be valuable to the kingdom someday, he should not throw me away for a mistake made in my youth.
Loki begged me. He came down to the cells himself, he came in my cell and he begged me. "Take Odin's mercy, please Arnora. I am so sorry, I did not know it would go after your child. I will make it pay. You will have other children, you will hold another baby in your arms, I promise you it will happen someday. Please, you do not belong in this dungeon, you belong in Asgard, please let me bring you back where you belong? I need you."
I broke his heart as truly as I broke his skin that day, as truly as he broke my heart. It took me less than a decade walking to cold lands of Norway to lose the fight with my hate for Loki. Loki, I am sorry, I was wrong, it was not your fault. Loki didn't kill my daughter, he had nothing to do with her death except of an unfortunate association. What that creature was, and whatever Loki was doing with it, it was not a friendly collaboration, part of me knew that when I felt it try to kill me. Loki acted disinterested about my welfare in its presence, only letting his desperation break through after it left our presence, his hands bleeding as he used them to break the crushing enchantment it left on my neck.
That thing killed my baby to punish Loki, not me. It stole something that mattered to me more then life, because it realized I matter to Loki. It must have figured out that part when it noticed I didn't die from that encounter. Making another attempt on my life would only make Loki its enemy, and all of Asgard in turn no doubt. So for whatever reason, it chose to make its point by hurting me to hurt him instead. That wasn't Loki's fault.
You'll hold another baby in your arms. Loki made me that promise, as he begged me not to choose banishment, and in a way that had nothing to do with him, that promise came true. Loki said that with children of my own blood in mind, not a blonde mortal boy from another woman's womb.
Skari, that little boy healed my heart. The scars from Kenna remained, and I knew they always would, but every time that child laughed or smiled, or called me Modir they faded a little more. Until they opened again, not as cuts but chasms. The plague took that child away from me, and it took my will to live with it.
There was no funeral for Skari, his body turned to dust in my hands as my heartbreak triggered my magick, the very land around me forced to surrender its energy to try heal a wound that could never be closed. There was no funeral for Kenna either, I wasn't even allowed to see my daughter's lights lifted to Valhalla. And there would be no funeral for me either. I walked away in that night, and sealed myself in ice because I wanted to die to stop the pain.
When I woke up I learned very quickly that I knew nothing of pain, and what it really felt like to want to die. Loki Please don't leave me like this. I don't want this to be how it ends.
I begged. I screamed. Every time the humans carved a piece out of me, every time I felt my magick struggle to heal me from the monstrous things they did in the name of their science. Every time I woke up healed, and surrounded by a pile of dead people, my unconscious body ripping the life out of them in an attempt to prolong its own. I even screamed Odin's name. I begged for Odin's forgiveness, I begged him to take me back and let me serve him again, I would forget all of it, if he just saved me. He couldn't leave me here to die like this. I begged and no one listened.
No one cared, no one listened, no one remembered to look anymore. I was going to die inch by inch, and I would never see anyone again. Not Asgard, not my sisters in the healing halls. Not my family, and not Loki, who I forgave, and finally admitted to myself I loved only after I lost the chance.
Loki who is here now. Loki who looked 18 the last time I saw him, but now looks 30. Loki who I would go anywhere, even in what must be madness.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1609 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
LOKI
I've seen that expression, the one she whipped around and gave me at the sound of my voice. I've seen it, in the eyes of wild wolves, animals who know they are going to be hurt or killed, but have every intention of ripping their attackers throats out as they die. Her eyes were feral, every inch of her was, from the slight crouch, to the way her face twitched from the tension of the snarl that exposed her teeth, even the way her fingers were white at the knuckles as she curled them in fists.
She was feral, and then she was not. The savageness evaporating out her eyes just like the blood on her skin, the energy in the blood finally absorbed by her skin, and her movement shedding the rust colored remnants like a dust.
She all but ran up and hugged me, the force of it making me falter back a step as her arms wrapped themselves around my neck despite my height, and if it wasn't for the way she shaking, or the tears I heard in her laughter as she buried her face against my shoulder I might have misinterpreted it is an attack. Perhaps I should have.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1609 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
ARNORA
I didn't expect it to feel good, but I didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did when I reared my head back and headbutted the bastard.
I thought 'Nora' was a dream, a beautiful dream that my unconscious mind made up. I got to forget all the horrible things that happened to me. The loss of my child, of two children, the loss of my home and family, the slow and terrible way I lost my magick. I got a brother in its place, a sister, a best friend. I got happy memories, and innocence, and the ability to make choices with my life, something I never had on Asgard.
I thought all of it was a dream, even the part with Loki. Loki who was my husband in this dream, Loki who was the father of my child in this dream, Loki who I secretly wished for to be true in this dream, Loki who was older than the 18 year older version of him I saw last.
That's what made the doubt start to sink into my theory. The Loki who stands in front of me right now, the Loki that I was able to touch, looked just like the version I thought I dreamt. They matched perfectly, too perfectly. If I really imagined it all then the 'Loki' in my dream should have been a vague adult version of the teenager I remembered.
But he wasn't, because it was real, and if he was real, the sight of my brother was real. I saw outside the door to this room before it closed behind Loki, I saw his eyes glowing. They weren't the only ones. I saw my friend, a Norwegian doctor who knew all those old silly stories, Erik Selvig, he was here too, in this place where I was awake with Clint Barton. He was real, they were real. They were outside of my head, and they were real!
Nora was real, even if she was just the absence of me, she was real. And Loki had her kidnapped, he used my amnesia against me, he manipulated me, and let me suffer, physically and mentally to get what he wanted. He lied to me, twisting vague memory to suit his needs. He said I was his lover, and the mother of his child! My daughter died because I knew Loki, and he claimed her ghost because it benefited him!
I wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp, but I knew Loki was stronger than me. He was before, even if he was considered the weaker prince he was still trained to fight, and even if I learned in my time living with the vikings I knew he would still be stronger than me, it's not likely he would have stopped learning while I was gone. That's why I hugged him first, I let myself touch him to prove he wasn't a dream, and get inside his guard.
I didn't expect to feel the bridge of my own nose crack from a blow that didn't touch it. When I headbutted Loki in that exact spot.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1610 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
LOKI
I should have sensed that coming sooner. The blow was strong enough that it did have me stagger back a few paces, the location of the blow making my vision dance with spots before I manage to steady myself, and wipe the blood away with the back of my hand. "Well that could not have felt pleasant."
My comment is less than appreciated, it's met with a silent snarl as she rests her weight against the side of the tub. All things considered, while we most likely felt the blow equally, because she wasn't expecting to feel the additional trauma of what she did to my nose, it affected her more. "What have you done?!"
The fact that she hasn't figured it out does not surprise me. After I left her in the care of the humans, now certain that the bond was sealed, I acted on my desire to hide that foul bird on my chest from sight, and with my lovely vantage of her naked I can clearly see the absence of her mark as well. It seems my effort to hide one has hidden both from view. For the sake of explanation though I suppose I can stand the sight of that bird.
I can see her focus drift in a moment of surprise, and I know exactly what has her bordering on frightened confusion. I can feel it tug on the bond, her body trying to pull the magick to heal that injury and finding it less then it should be. "Shh." It lets me close the gap quick enough to catch her in my hands.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1611 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
ARNORA
His fingers secure my wrist easily, and I might have fought them more with the other hand if it wasn't for the feel of his right thumb tracing the bridge of my nose and relief filling the space pain once occupied. I can feel my magick strengthening the seam between the cartilage and bone that my blow created, and the blood ceasing to flow out of my nostril. My magick, from him?
"It's alright." That's his answer to the 'how?' written all over my face as I lift it to look at him, that's an answer that doesn't contain an answer. "Loki, what have you done to me?"
The feel of his fingers finding the hollow of my back happens with too much familiarity as I back up a step, unnerved by the sight of his armor shimmer away and expose his chest. That concern turns to curiosity when a different kind of familiarity reveals something unfamiliar on his sternum.
After his tunic fades out of sight something else fades into view. The tingle of magick on my chest that happens at the same time pulls my eyes to my own chest for a moment. My chest hurt when I awoke, but I saw nothing, and I saw enemies so I forgot my discomfort and I fought.
Now in my stillness the discomfort has returned to my mind, and it has a sight now. A twin pair of ouroboros serpents, twisted into a figure eight as they bite their own tails, and blink at me as they test the air with their tongues. This 'tattoo' is alive, and I know the energy that animates it. This mark is not alone.
I saw it emerge on his skin as well before I was distracted by mine. Its design is much more stylized than the serpents on my skin, but it's a style I know. Its an antique art from from the Vanir tribe my family hails from. It's a bird, a raptor of some kind, and as my fingers near it, it reveals itself as mine. That's not ink in Loki's skin, that my energy trapped there!
"Its blood magick, old magick." He says softly as his hand cups my cheek and his thumb traces my jaw, as he tries and fails to caress the horror out of my eyes. "But don't worry, I will take care of you. I won't lose you again."
Take care of me?! Doesn't he understand what he has done? He tore a part of my soul out of me, literally, he tied it to him against my will. He didn't even ask for my consent. "Loki... you made me a slave."
"No." He actually tries to argue it, the hand around my waist keeping me from backing away as I wish to, disgust and betrayal filling my veins as he lets his fingers trail from my jaw to the mark, his mar, that he forced on my skin, with reverence in his eyes. "No, not a slave, just mine again. Where you belong. Where I can keep you safe, where we can all be together again."
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1612 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
LOKI
This time I felt the shift. Her rage reaching me through the bond half a second before it reached her eyes and found an outlet in the swinging of her hand. A hand that I easily imprison in mine.
"Where we can all be together again!" A hand whose partner I easily catch with my own before she gives me an explanation as to her anger.
"We! We! My daughter died because of that thing! Because of YOU! How dare you claim her, claim me! How dare you use the love of my daughter against me like that!" This is no longer Nora, the woman who believed herself a human once, and whose broken memories made her easily exploitable. This is Arnora, truly and whole. How very unfortunate for her.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1613 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
ARNORA
When I can't rip my hands past the grip his own have on my wrists I change my tactic. I try to head butt him again, but it fails. He releases one of my hands to grab my throat instead, stopping the momentum of my skull and doing exactly what I hoped he would do. Before he can even correct his mistake I slam that hand into 'my' mark on his chest and push.
The force of my magick attacking him, even weakened as it is by what he has done to me, sends us both reeling. It feels like what I imagine getting struck by a troll would feel like, and sends me crumbling to my knees with the breath knocked out of me for a moment. I'm okay with that though because it does the same to Loki, and as long as he is down all I have to do is get up first.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1613 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
LOKI
I forgot how clever she can be, and how accurate her intuition was when she was truly herself. But so has she. Much has changed since the last time she saw me. She gets her feet under her before I do, because she managed to kick my arm out from under me again as I tried to catch her ankle.
That gave her the precious seconds she needed to start running for the door. And right into the arms I had waiting for her.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1614 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
ARNORA
I felt it too late to react, a prickle against my skin, like a cool breeze on the hairs there right before I felt the solidness of skin and muscle crushing skin and muscle. The illusion that hid him shimmering at the edges as the invisibility fades and reveals his hiding place beneath it, and the doppelganger on the floor vanishes.
This time he doesn't seem inclined to give me anymore chances. Not only is one of my arms trapt securely at my side under his, but the other is held down by the hand of that arm as it wraps around my back. His opposite hand weaves itself almost painfully in my hair to hold my head still. I take momentary delight in the idea that it might be just as uncomfortable to him as it is me, before I feel a sensation I never even fathomed.
Its a pull, and that's the only way I can think to describe it as I'm a bit preoccupied with screaming in pain. It feels like everything in my chest, my lungs, my heart, my ribcage, my muscles were all being pulled out of me, before they were allowed to snap right back in place.
And through it all Loki stood calm and comfortable as he held me.
THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012
1615 HOURS
OHIO STATE REFORMATORY
MANSFIELD OHIO, USA
LOKI
I released the tension when I felt her reach the border of unconsciousness, her body going limp in my arms as the pain stopped, and her chest heaving as she gasped for air. I didn't want to hurt her like that, but she left me with no choice. She figured out that she could effect the bond by affecting the mark, but she neglected to realize that as the creator of this link, I could effect her without affecting myself. It was not a guaranteed two way road.
Now that she no longer has the strength to fight me it makes her easier to contain. She barely has strength to keep her eyes open, or speak my name in a steady way. "L-lo-ki pl-e..."
"Shh..." The sound is breathed into her hair as I cradle the back of her neck, letting me tip her head back and press a kiss to her forehead without letting it fall. "...Do not be afraid Arnora. I am so sorry it had to be like this, I will take care of you, you will see."
"I-I..." Despite that reassurance I can hear her continue to struggle for argumentative words as I carefully move her, resting her back against the tub they were supposed to bath her in, next to the human she all but destroyed. He carried the syringe of tranquilizer as a safety measure, though it proved useless as he never was able to use it, it serves my purposes now is the needle breaks her skin and a drop of saltwater decorates her skin.. You should have just stayed asleep Arnora. It was better that way. "...lo-lov-ved yo..."