A/N: I made a complete mess this time. As I said on tumblr I have had a rather short attention span lately so writing was slow. I then wrote myself into a dead end and had to rewrite great chunks of this. It still doesn't make some great wonderful point the way I would prefer but it deals with a few issues (or begins to deal with them) which really needed to be addressed/touched on.

Thanks so much for the reviews, follows and favourites. I can't believe it has reached 100 followers!

Chapter 63

She knew she was taking a risk staying but she did not feel she could leave. It was difficult to accommodate her cast but they managed it. Aegon nestled close to her, one arm slung across her middle just below the bruising. It was not long before his breathing became even and she knew he slept. He looked so peaceful. The healing wound on his cheek was an angry red but Arya knew that would fade. It extended from just below his right eyebrow halfway down the side of his cheek. He had been marked but not truly disfigured. She scowled remembering Sandor's remark about it.

Arya also wanted to forget about everything else, just for a little while and she could not do that in her own tent. Her waking hours, as few as they were right now, were filled with visitors reminding her of the attack by Robert Strong and those killed or injured during it. Arya had lived with death and killing for years at the House of Black and White but that was different. It was easier to distance herself from her targets then. It was always the same ritual. The Kindly man would call on her to kill a man. Arya would ask who it was.

"No one you know" he would always reply. "No one you love."

She would watch the person she did not know and did not love and justified their death by their flaws, by the darkness within them. Arya could not say the same of those who died at the hands of Robert Strong. They were people she knew and some of them were people she had been stupid enough to get close to. Their deaths could not pass without leaving their mark on her, just as they had on Aegon.

Arya was beginning to feel sleepy herself when Aegon started to become agitated and she realised he was talking in his sleep. His face twisted in anguish and she heard him mumble her name and Duck's. When she touched him and spoke softly to reassure him he seemed to relax. His fingers clutched at her robe before his arm wrapped more tightly around her. He settled down again, his head resting close to hers and she heard him sigh and mumble again "Arya."

He reminded her a little of Rickon after one of her brother's bad dreams. Rickon would climb into her bed and want to cling to her as though making sure she really wasn't going to go anywhere. She felt a surge of guilt remembering that she had not written to him since they crossed the Trident. He will be worried about me. That thought was quickly replaced by a worse one.

Rickon will take Duck's death badly.

She lay there, turning it over in her mind until sleep took her away. She was drifting, much as she had ever since she had been injured. The wolf dreams which she now knew were not dreams had stopped with the milk of the poppy. Bran's voice reached her in her hazy sleep.

"The real danger is in the North, not the South Arya. We cannot afford to fail."

Arya resisted him. "No, the Lannisters have taken too much." She felt even more strongly about it now.

Bran's voice faded but she could feel his sadness. "They have."

Arya had been one to wake quickly at the slightest sound, especially since her training but her injuries and the doses of milk of the poppy had taken a toll. She stirred slowly when she felt Aegon moving. Her vision was blurry with sleep when she looked at him but she registered that he was scowling and speaking with somebody else. He leaned down and placed a light kiss to her temple.

"Rest my love" he whispered. "Haldon will check on you soon."

Arya was not up to arguing. She shifted in the bed to get comfortable and slept again. Haldon roused her later and she woke with a start.

"How long did I sleep?"

Aegon was sitting at the opposite side of the tent, a quill in his hand. He discarded it and moved to join her.

"It is close to dinner time." He must have seen her worry because he was quick to try and reassure her. "I sent a messenger to your uncle. He knows you were resting here."

Arya did not feel much better. Haldon began to ask questions and Aegon joined him in determinedly examining all of her injuries. Arya could see that the Halfmaester dearly wanted to tell Aegon to leave but Arya indulged him. His hands were gentle when he looked at her arm, her ankle, her eye and her ribs. The concern in his eyes was obvious and it was clear he wanted to be sure she really was going to recover.

"I suggest you keep using the stick for a few more days" Haldon said, eyeing Aegon warily. "The swelling has gone down but you should avoid putting weight on it until the pain subsides."

"I want no more milk of the poppy" Arya said quickly, trying to stifle a yawn. "It makes me sleep too much."

Haldon nodded and passed the stick to her. Arya stood and shook her head when Aegon moved to help her. He shot a look at Haldon who left them.

"I have something for you if you still want it" Aegon said hesitantly.

Arya moved over to the stool he pointed to and sat. He shot her a look as he rummaged in a crate. "What?" she asked. He retrieved a small parcel and came back to join her.

"Nothing" he replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I should not be surprised that even with an injured foot and arm you can still move more easily than most people who have no injury at all." He sat beside her and offered the parcel. Arya smelled the contents before she saw them.

"You remembered" she said, surprised as she took a piece of the candied ginger. It tasted even better than she expected.

His eyes were sad as he responded. "I like to think of that night. It was my last happy memory before..."

Arya reached out and pushed back a stray lock of hair from his face. He smiled a little when she picked up a piece of the candied ginger and put it in his mouth. She then turned her attention to the parchment in front of her, screwing up her face.

"I need to write to Rickon."

She reached for his quill then realised there was a problem. She frowned at the cast. I suppose I could try to write with the other hand. While she was deciding Aegon took the quill from her and dragged the piece of parchment closer.

"You can tell me what to write."

Arya thought for a moment before accepting the offer. She would have asked her uncle but writing would be difficult for him too with his injury. It was not something she wanted to ask a maester to do for her. She took a deep breath then began to dictate to him what to write. It started out well. Aegon was good with the written word, better than Arya and he helped her explain her injuries and Duck's death.

She tensed when they reached the next part. Duck had no place of his own in Westeros. When Arya asked Aegon whether Duck should be buried in Winterfell he pulled her close and kissed her.

"I think he would have liked that" he said in a thick voice.

The letter writing went downhill from there. Arya argued with Aegon about what should and should not be included. In the end Aegon took over despite her protests, finishing off the letter as he saw fit. Arya tried to be cross with him but he would not let her.

"You are a terrible letter writer" he told her. "People would almost think you did not care."

"There is a difference between being uncaring and saying too much" she retorted back.

Aegon raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you telling me I say too much?"

Arya huffed and pulled out the parchment she had shifted to her boot. "I don't need to tell you" she retorted, "I have evidence."

Aegon read it and his expression turned incredulous. "You keep this with you?"

Arya flushed and tried to snatch it back from him. "I should have burned it" she snapped, "I spend too much time trying to stop people finding it." It was the first letter he wrote her in Winterfell. She worried about leaving it unattended where people might find it, especially now that Cara handled her clothes. "I should burn it right now."

Aegon tucked it back in her boot. "You won't" he said softly. When he straightened back up he looked serious. Arya knew that expression. He folded the letter to Rickon, addressed it and pressed his seal into it.

"Aly Mormont needs to be told too" she mumbled, reaching for her stick to try and avoid the conversation she could feel coming. It was too late. Aegon took hold of her arm to keep her there.

"I have been trying not to bring this up" he said slowly.

Please don't let this be what I think it is. Arya cursed herself for revealing she still had the letter.

Aegon cleared his throat and looked at his hands. "I heard Lord Connington and Nymeria talking after you were injured. They thought I was asleep. They were discussing something Haldon said about your injuries, a mistake he made."

Arya took a deep breath. "I asked him not to say anything about that" she said, feeling irritated. "It serves no good purpose."

Aegon twined his fingers through hers. "No child of ours would ever be a bastard. I hope you know that."

I do know that and it would ruin us all.

"I was not with child" Arya said instead, trying to hide her annoyance. "I told Haldon that."

Aegon grimaced. "I know. You drink moon tea."

Arya pulled her hand free. "I cannot be a mother." The Kindly man's words ran through her head. You will be no one's wife, no one's mother. Arya had not wanted it then and no matter her moments of uncertainty she did not want it now.

"You would be a good mother" he said softly and Arya knew then that he had spent far more time thinking about it than she ever imagined. "I know how good you are with your brother and the children we meet."

"Don't do this Aegon" she warned. "You know how things must be. I will keep from your bed if that is what it takes."

"No" he said quickly and Arya could see the thought pained him. He reached for her and Arya put a hand on his chest to hold him back. "I know it can't be" he said quietly. "It does not mean I cannot imagine our children." His smile was a little forced. "Think of what it would be like to have babes who look like me but have your spirit."

Arya wanted to smile despite herself and it took an effort to force her face to look disapproving. "That would not be a good thing" she said, letting him put his arm around her. "Connington can tell you that one of me causes enough trouble."

"I want family Arya" Aegon whispered. "They took mine from me. They took yours too."

Arya swallowed away the pain the words dredged up. "You will have to make your family with Daenerys."

He pressed his lips to her head and rested his chin on her shoulder. "I know that but I just wanted you to know it is your children I would rather have."

"I did not need you to tell me" she said stiffly. "I would rather you didn't say these things."

He did not pull away. After a brief silence he spoke again. "It isn't about me is it?" he asked. "You don't want children at all?"

Arya was quick to answer. "I don't want children with anybody." It was only partially a lie. Arya felt that to do what she needed to do she could not have children. It was not something she had ever wanted. Aegon's children would be worse. I would worry constantly that somebody would take them from me. There were moments where she did wonder what it might be like. She then quickly told herself that she was being stupid.

"You look so tired" she told him, trying to change the subject.

"I haven't slept well since the attack" he admitted. He brushed her hair away from her neck and placed a kiss on her pulse point. "I slept better with you there." Before she could think of an answer he had pulled a blank piece of parchment closer and looked at her expectantly.

They were finishing the letter to Aly Mormont when her uncle came to the tent. Nymeria Sand was with him and the Sand Snake looked greatly amused. The Blackfish was not. His expression darkened when he looked at Aegon and Arya felt Aegon tense beside her.

"We are writing letters uncle" Arya explained. "I did not mean to be so long."

"Will you come with me now?" Ser Brynden asked, his face darkening further as Aegon passed her the parcel with the last two pieces of candied ginger. His fingers lingered on hers and Arya could see him searching her face. She smiled at him, trying to send a silent message. I am not angry with you.

The Blackfish moved to help her and Arya insisted again that she could manage. As soon as they were clear of the tent the awkward conversation began.

"You should not spend so much time with him. It encourages him."

"He has been struggling" Arya said defensively. "He blamed himself."

"I know that" the Blackfish said abruptly. "He said as much in your tent while you were at your worst. You have been gone for hours."

"He visited me?" Arya blurted. Ser Brynden's expression darkened again and a flush crept up his neck.

"He had been drinking and his behaviour was not honourable. I did not wish to disturb you with it."

That is why he stayed away. Arya tried not to chew her lip. "Whatever he did he meant no harm. Aegon is a good man."

"He seems to be but you said yourself that he is to marry another."

Arya wished she knew what Aegon had done. Her uncle had never looked so disapproving before. "He does not wish it. Do not punish him for it. Please do not try to take our friendship from him." They had tried to be so careful. She wanted to curse Aegon for being careless when she was asleep and powerless to prevent it.

Brynden Tully was looking at her intently and Arya tried her best to hide from him. "I have seen others destroyed from this game you are playing."

"It is no game uncle" she said quickly, trying to determine what his words meant. He knows something. He was looking at her with sadness. "I do not play games."

He rested his hand on her shoulder. "I will say again be careful Arya. Your actions could affect far more than you realise."

Arya stiffened. "I'm not stupid uncle, I know that."

The Blackfish sighed. "I know you are not stupid but I also remember your brother. Leading is about more than winning battles."

Arya did not know what to say. I know that too. She was not certain whether her uncle was referring to her or Aegon. Even with her training she could not read it in his expression. All she could tell was that he was worried. Before she could figure out an answer she saw Sandor Clegane outside her tent. Ser Brynden frowned at him.

I really need to find out what he wants.

Sandor looked over her from head to toe and gave a short laugh as he took a knee. Arya felt irritation. He is mocking me. She told him sharply to rise and he did. She looked at how she was dressed. Aegon had not cared but Aegon was different. I need to change.

"I will speak with you after dinner" she told him.

Cara was waiting inside and even though Arya could manage she accepted the handmaid's help. She managed to pull on woollen pants and a tunic though layers were difficult. In the end she made do with a fur lined cloak. Cara passed her the crown and she wanted to refuse it. She sighed as she submitted to having it placed on her head. When she joined the men for dinner they were pleased to see her moving about. Her eyelids tried to droop well before the meal was finished but she made herself stay awake.

Sandor Clegane was waiting for her when she returned to her tent. He had a cup in his hand and Arya could smell the wine. She wondered how he was getting it. The wineskin she provided for him was long gone and they did not have a lot to spare despite replenishments. He followed her into the tent and eyed Nymeria with interest as the direwolf sat alongside Arya. Arya expected Nymeriaa to growl at him but the wolf remained silent.

"What is it that you want?" she asked him abruptly.

He looked her over. "I've been hearing a lot of things Your Grace." The way he said her title felt wrong. I prefer when he calls me she-wolf.

"I heard things about you too" she retorted.

Sandor shook his head and scowled. "People keep trying to pin crimes on me. I admit what I am. I've spent years..." His face twitched and Arya tried to make out what he was going to say. "I only left when I found out what they had done with Gregor."

"Left where?" Arya asked curiously.

His mouth tightened. "Never you mind. They want no trouble from the likes of us."

What does he mean by us? "I'm not like you" Arya replied indignantly.

He made that sound which Arya knew to be a laugh. "That is true. At your age I hadn't killed anywhere near so bloody many. He'd have you digging graves for years."

Arya took a deep breath and tried to school her face. He gave her a queer look and she knew she had succeeded. "What do you want?" she repeated again. "Is it gold you are after?"

His face contorted a little and Arya could tell he was offended. She could not understand why. Gold used to be all he cared about. He quickly laughed again. "You do owe me gold" he said. "You owe me a shitload for keeping you alive more than once now and for saving your prince."

She chose not to acknowledge his comment about Aegon being hers. "I did not ask you to save me."

Sandor smiled his grotesque smile. "You did ask me to save him."

It was true. Arya thought quickly. "Why didn't you ask Prince Aegon for your gold?"

He snorted at that. "I knew before I even rode into your camp who holds the real power here." He looked at her again in a way Arya did not like. "You don't have your sister's looks but I think I can see it."

Arya tried not to take the bait but she could not help it. "See what?"

Sandor shrugged. "Men want what they can't have. You're pretty enough and you have power."

Arya seethed. "I could kill you" she hissed.

He laughed. "Tell me again that we are not alike. A dog and a wolf are not that different. Give me enough gold and I'll leave." He stood and his face twitched again. "Of course if you are smart you would not want me to leave."

Long after he was gone Arya was still stewing and she still did not have answers. I still don't know what he really wants.

When Arya woke the next morning she was sore but she was thankfully far more alert. She met with her men to speak of arrangements for the bodies to go with the silent sisters. Some of it had already been organised while she was recovering. They also began talks of resuming the march. Arya saw many of them look at her sceptically.

"I'm sure I could sit a horse" she said defensively. She frowned when there was talk of the feasibility of her travelling on one of the wagons.

Nymeria Sand was waiting in her tent when she returned to it. "Aegon looked most comfortable when I stopped by yesterday" she said as soon as Arya was seated. "It was a shame to disturb him." There was laughter in her voice.

She was the one speaking to him when I was sleeping.

Arya chose to ignore her amusement. "We were only sleeping."

"I'm sure" Nymeria smirked. "What did you do to him?"

Arya blinked. "What do you mean?"

The Dornishwoman studied her. "I was in the war council with him this morning. You don't look capable of fucking him senseless right now but you did something. He went from hiding away with a wineskin to Fire and Blood quite quickly."

Arya carefully kept her expression neutral and did not answer. The raven still hovered in or near her tent. It flew at her now to perch on her shoulder and she quickly gave it something to eat. She knew Aegon had heard her earlier, she had seen the change in him before he asked her to stay with him. Lady Nym kept looking at her.

"I just told him the truth" she finally said.

Nymeria laughed. "If that is the effect of you whispering in his ear then you should do it more often. It was most enjoyable to watch. Grief is not becoming in him. Vengeance suits him much better"

Arya watched her stalk from the tent looking even more predatory than usual. Her visit was followed by Lord Connington. Arya could smell him coming before she saw him. He looked about as happy as she had ever seen him which was not much.

"He is better" he said gruffly. "When do you think you will be able to move from here?"

Arya frowned at her ankle. "I spoke with my men earlier. I want to leave as soon as possible. They looked at me as though I was mad." She gave him a look. "You need to do something about that hand first."

Connington set his mouth in a grim line. She could see he was unsteady. The fever was clearly getting worse. Arya grabbed her stick and began to move. "Come with me."

He was reluctant but he followed, paying no attention to the direwolf shadowing them. Arya took him to the Northern maester's tent. Connington muttered under his breath that it was a stupid idea. Arya ignored him.

"I need you to look at Lord Connington's hand" she told him. As he stepped forward she stopped him. "Look but don't touch and tell no one."

The maester looked offended but he nodded. He took one look at the hand and turned almost as grey as the affected limb. "You will doom us all."

Arya ignored him. "How do we treat it?"

"You cannot" the maester said. "The greyscale will spread."

"I mean the infection" Arya said, trying to remain patient. The maester simply shook his head.

"Mayhaps it is for the best."

Lord Connington snorted. Arya scowled and Nymeria must have sensed her unhappiness because the direwolf began to snarl. The maester took a step backwards.

"Tell no one" Arya repeated. She retreated from the tent and Connington followed her, glowering and muttering.

"That was a waste of time. I would have gotten further if I'd spoken to Haldon and we cannot know that man will keep quiet."

Arya did not answer him. I can keep him quiet better than I could with Haldon if need be. She kept moving with purpose to the only other man she thought might possibly help. I should have gone to him first. Thoros smiled when he saw her but he sucked in his breath at the sight of Connington's hand.

"Can you do anything?" she pleaded.

If she had not believed before she would have by the time he was done. Thoros looked surprised himself when he finished uttering his prayers and incantations. The hand looked burnt and it smoked but the smell was gone. The infection was no more.

"It has only bought time" Thoros said "but R'hllor clearly is not finished with you yet."

Connington walked with her from the tent, pulling a glove over his hand. "Time is all I ever wanted" he said slowly. His mouth opened and shut and although he did not say anything, was far too proud to say it, Arya knew what he was thinking.

"I know my lord" she replied. "You will not fail him."

Connington half smiled and half frowned. "I hope you are right. We cannot fail."

Arya watched him walk away thinking again of the various conversations she had taken part in over the past two days. Arya now knew what was needed of her better than anybody else. She did need to be careful, she knew that but she also knew that what other people might view as wrong was what would ensure success both for her family, the North and for Aegon. There was so much at risk and Connington and Bran were both right. We cannot afford to fail.