This late in summer my mother doesn't expect me home at a certain hour, but I still feel a twinge of guilt when I reach my porch. The sun is beginning its descent, so I grab a small bouquet in my hand, and silently hope the flowers will smooth things over for missing dinner.
"Hi guys." I swing the door shut with my foot and juggle items to the table beforey the fall.
"Gale!" says Vick. He's standing on a chair, pulled closed to the sink. "We're washing."
"You missed dinner," Rory says, rinsing plates while Vick dries.
"Mama?" I call out.
"She's not here," Rory sings.
"Where is she? Did she take the baby?" The boys are nine and seven years old, old enough to stay alone as Seam children, but we try to avoid it. They shouldn't have to raise themselves.
"The silver lady came here," Rory says, splashing Vick.
"Rory, focus, what did Mrs. Silverstein want?" The front room is open to a kitchen on one side with dining space and the other side a TV room. All homes in the District are given modest living areas for optimal viewings of The Hunger Games and other government announcements.
"I don't know. Mom went with her to wash a cloth."
"Okay, and she took Posy?" The boys are playing gently over the sink paying me no attention.
"Rory!" I don't yell but it's enough for a response.
"Yeah, mama has Po-Po." Rory detests chores but he can make just about anything fun. By now Vick has turned around and his eyes grow big.
"You hunted all that?" He hops down to get a closer look.
"And these." I open a cloth bag that's overflowing with lavender and it falls across the table. Between incoherent sentences, Vick grabs a handful and inhales the sweet aroma.
"Smells like mama." We don't find lavender often and certainly never in such abundance, but my mother mixes some herbs into laundry soap. In the Seam, coal never truly settles, but ma's elbow deep in suds most days and smells like the meadow after a summer shower.
"They're so soft! And purple. I've never seen anything so purple before." Vick appreciates beautiful things. My father only owned a few items of worth, including a watch given to him by his father. The value of which was actually very little, but craftsmanship is important and Vick notices too. He'll walk by the bakery window like the painted cakes are works of art. They might be. The baker's son, Peeta, makes them and they always sell out. And flowers, Vick loves flowers.
"Think we can do something for mama with these?" I ask, taking off and returning my supplies to their rightful place.
"Like what?" Rory grabs a rabbit in his hands. "This one is huge!"
"A hot bath with lavender and tea with some too."
"Do we get to take a bath after?"
"No, you got a bath last night." Baths are a lot of effort for mediocre reward, I'd rather bathe in a stream.
"That's a lot of work," Rory says.
"It is, but ma doesn't usually make Sunday night house calls." Vick agrees. "Plus we have so much, we can put a hot cup in the bath before everyone's turn tomorrow. I promise."
"Deal."
"If we dry these blossoms, we can try it over the berries I found today." The boys beg to do that now and I don't blame them, my stomach sits dull and empty. I welcome the enthusiasm and let them pick a task. Rory will help me fill the tub while Vick clears the table of tomorrow's trades. I tend the fire, seeping flowers in the boiling water. A familiar tune hums through the open windows, bringing me out the front door.
"Hey mama."
"Hi honey." I offer to take something from her hands and I receive Posy while she fixes a satchel with her cleaning supplies. "Posy awfully fussy, but she's just ready for bed."
My mother doesn't say this to throw it in my face but I still want to rush her inside for a gentle bath and tea that will help her sleep.
"I'll put her to bed tonight. Come on, Katniss and I had a productive day."
The scent is overwhelming when we enter our small home. There's a light breeze that sweeps it up and swirls it around the room. Ma can mask a grieving heart under a pleasing demeanor, but the joy in her face is authentic as the flowers that decorate the room.
As if standard protocol, my mother takes a moment to breathe in the scent. Vick is hugging her legs and I'm so grateful she is a mother who accepts him with open arms.
"You weren't that glad to see me," I joke. When he's welcomed my mother plenty, Vick gives me a hug as well. And then promptly insists that I carry him too. Which I do. Because maybe next year he won't want me to and maybe the next year he'll get too big, and then eventually The Hunger Games.
"We made you a bath and tea, mama," Rory says, snapping my focus back to the present. He leads her by the hand to the tub. "Gale found a whole field full!"
"Well, Katniss found it. We went past daddy's favorite place." This send my baby brother deeper under my neck.
"I knew it. A little trust and the perfect day would come by so Katniss and you could explore," my mother says. "And you, just a little faith, huh?" Her wisdom always comes at no cost, rather like a gift.
"Yes ma'am."
"Get in, get in!" Rory says, playing with a petal that floats.
"Better get in before it cools off. Rory, come get ready for bed. Once ma is in the tub, you can check if she needs anything." My mother tugs Rory into her side, helping me in the matter.
"Go on Rory, you can bring me that tea you mentioned." Rory trusts me; when a wild dog cornered us once in an alley, I told him to duck right and he did so without a word. But he doesn't like to listen when I make sure he completes his chores or brushes his hair.
"Okay, mom," he makes a point to look at me and I start for the bedroom. "I boiled the most water!" I hear from behind.
"Vick, change into your sleepers and you and me can lay down with Posy." I set him down on his bed.
"And mint?" Yes. A piece of mint to suck on helps with teeth and hunger. I lay Posy on my mother's bed. She doesn't need changing but I apply a small amount of balm to her skin. She's been battling a sun rash and doesn't accept the gentle massage with the usual glee.
"Sorry, Pose," I put her the bed, "close your eyes. Vick will lay with you soon." She's crying but I continue with the nightly rituals.
"Rory, can you fix a bottle for Posy too?" I ask, dropping my hunting pants to the ground and grabbing a towel to wash off what I can. He'll do so happily if it means he can stay up longer.
I prop up a fan that runs on magnetized metal in a window. Since we don't get electricity most days, I light candles on either side of the room as the moon begins to rise. I pull on a pair of thin shorts to sleep in and wash the last bit of smut off my face. Before Vick soils my sheets, I scrub his face and arms clean as well. Posy's still whimpering when Rory delivers her bottle.
"Gale, mint please."
"Alright, lay down," I push Vick backwards, to which he tells me to do it again. I go to a small container and pull out three pieces of mint, handing one each to Posy and Vick, saving the other for myself.
"Mama said to eat this," Rory says, giving me a flour wrap. Ma uses our rations to make thin dough sheets and somehow it's more appetizing than a loaf of dense bread. Fresh greens, strawberries, onions, and bits of turkey from last weekend's haul. Not much, but flavorful.
"Thanks." When's the last time I ate? I'm grateful for the meal, considering I missed dinner. I perch myself on a window sill to eat and keep an eye over Rory as he does his bedtime routine. I'm so tired, that once he's ready, I'll go to bed with the kids. A warm bath is a rarity my mother deserves and privacy even more so.
We'll discuss my late arrival when we both wake early. The woods are unpredictable and it would take longer than a few hours for my mother to worry. Still, I try to adhere to a predetermined time frame I share with her before leaving.
"Ready?" Rory nods, retrieving a piece of mint for himself. "Want to sleep with us?"
"Nope, you can have Vick. It's just my bed tonight." I make a bet in my head with dad, Rory joins us at some point in the night. He'll get lonely by himself, we all do.
"Fine, goodnight Rory."
"Night Bubba," he says between yawns. Bubba. As far back as I can remember, my father would call me by that name. Then Rory came around and he was Bubba too. I remember crying in my daddy's arm because how could someone else have my name? But he told me how much he loved the new baby and how he couldn't wait to teach and watch him grow. My father could turn my world upside down and have me looking at things sideways. Rory would be my Bubba like I was my dad's. Only the name ever really stuck with me.
I side step over Vick, who's nearly asleep on the bed and lay down beside him. Posy is content with a bottle, but sits upright on my other side. Katniss and I have spent nearly every day together since we first met last October. Each one vital to our survival. It wasn't until spring that the sandstone could be accessed, yet it still took a month of suggesting it was a worthy destination. After we went, Katniss showed me a honeycomb near a shallow cave; I had never seen one before. Somewhere along the trails, the trust I had in her became the trust she had in me. And tonight when I say trust me, this time I believe her when she says okay.