Shelly Cullen owns both plot and chapters 1 through 10

Shugo Chara

Hell's Lingering Kiss

ShellyCullen: Sorry this update took a while. Christmas can get a little hectic at times.

Also, in our laundry room, the ceiling literally fell down! There's a big gaping whole of wood and some dark stuff leaking. And off course this is probably the WORST time to ask for money. Now my grandmother is using her retirement savings to pay off this house. :(

I kind of wish there was something I could do. I considered writing a story and sending it to an agent to see if we could get it published or something. But then we have to go into the legal stuff since I'm not 18 years old yet, and I'd need a MAJOR proof read considering my grammar pretty much sucks.

I'm not sure if I'd even make it as an author in the first place.

Hmm… .:QUESTION!:.

Does anyone know what to do for sending in a story to a publishing company? Like the steps or maybe the layout of the manuscript. If so, please fill me in. And I'll try my hardest on my writing to see where this goes.

But right now, I'm starting the chapter. So Review what you know about making real stories please.

Chapter Nine:

Belief

Lord, in a world where we've learned to rely only on what we can perceive with our five senses, sometimes we can't help but be filled with doubts. After all, we can't see Your face or hear Your voice or touch Your hand. And meanwhile, the world bombards us with messages that contradict our belief in You and Your kingdom. Despite all that, though, Father, give us the strength to believe. Amen.

After my breathing calmed down and I finally sat on the edge of the bed, they started speaking again. Kukai stood in the corner of the room, his face covered with obvious guilt and shame. Tadase still sat on the chair, clutching the bible a little tighter.

"Are you alright, Hinamori-san?" He asked. I managed to give a weak nod, staring down at the carpeted, navy blue floor.

It was happening again. I thought. Just like after the incident, I was lying, right to Hotori-kun's face by saying I was fine. I was the opposite of fine. In fact, it was safe to say I was a lot worse.

Hotori nodded himself, though not completely convinced, and quickly brushed a stray bang that had moved out of place. I waited, not sure whether I was dreading what they were about to say or wanting more than ever to know exactly what was going on.

I gulped and waited for someone to speak. Both were speechless, and at a great loss of words.

"I…" Hotori began, "I know this will be a great deal for you to take in. And I know you may be confused or find something strange. You may not even believe us…" He swallowed himself and continued. "But…please try to keep an open mind on what we have to say. And I beg you…" His eyes stared straight into my own as my heart faltered at the look in the pure mixture of pink they held. He wasn't begging...he was pleading with everything he had. "Don't…just, don't tell anyone."

I nodded again, mouth slightly open at his words. I suddenly felt this secret was much more complex, complicated, than I had anticipated on. It wasn't just some game or freaky project. It was much more…

Hotori seemed awfully quiet now, dreading himself the words that had to escape his lips. I patiently sat there, feeling my heart pound with unnecessary force.

He looked around, deciding what was best to start out with, when his eyes landed back on the book. His expression lifted up slightly, before he gradually relaxed. He gazed back up at me.

"Do…Do you believe in God, Amu?" He asked, and I realized he had called me by my first name, no added ending. He'd done that before as well…

"I…should I?" I wasn't sure if it would be better to tell the truth or just keep nodding. Everything was so confusing. He sighed again, seeing how difficult this would be.

"Please, Amu. Tell me." He begged again, finding himself in an agonizing state. My body shook, as I felt the need to wrap my arms around him and tell him I'd do whatever it was he wanted.

"I…I'm not sure." Was what I managed, glancing at his expression. He still looked pained. "I guess it's because of what happened. A sort of incident in my life…" No one questioned the accident that happened a month ago, which most people would have looked into. Maybe they were much more above seeking every detail of my life.

"I see…" Hotori closed his eyes and breathed out deeply through his nose. With eyes shut, he took a minute to release whatever emotion crossed his mind. "This will be harder then." He muttered, trying to think up words.

Kukai stepped forward slightly, having wanting to say something to me, before hesitating and stepping back to his original spot. Hotori continued on. "You…you have doubts, Amu. And I want you to grasp onto something."

He stared back into my eyes, making sure he had every ounce of attention from me. I looked back, too stunned to even form a word in my mind. "No matter what you believe now or then, whoever tries to tell you what's right from wrong, please know that a God does exist…Because if you don't, this is all pointless."

My eyes narrowed for a moment, bewildered by this. "But…But know one can ever be sure…Can they?" I turned to Kukai, wondering if he was mixed up into this mess at all. His eyes answered it for me. "Can they?" I asked, voice barely a whisper. Hotori licked his lips, nervous.

"It, It isn't easy revealing this to one of you. You all rely on your senses. Believing is seeing for you, isn't it? But, truly, seeing is believing." He looked around for some kind of example. "You see that plant?" He asked, pointing to the tiny cactus on his desk.

"Yes." I answered, nodding to reassure myself.

"Well, if you were to close your eyes, you wouldn't know if it was really there. Or existed for that matter. Of course you could try to touch it or smell to figure it out, but saying you couldn't do that…" He stopped, finding I was more confused than before.

"Okay, maybe if we were just to focus on seeing. If you were born blind, never seen the up rising sun with the new day, many things were seem unreal. Like living your whole life in a dark room. If new objects were placed around you without you knowing, you'd think they were never there, right?" He questioned, begging for me to understand.

"Like they didn't exist?" It came out as a question. He gave a small smile, letting a sad chuckle escape his lips.

"Yes, exactly." He was satisfied to have explained his point across thoroughly, but now I forgot what his main idea was even about.

"So…what does this have to do with anything?" I finally asked after his brief victory. He blushed faintly, as if embarrassed.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry. You see, we don't rely on the five senses. Its fact that we can see, have seen what you all pass off. That, through eyes that are clouded with the senses, have trouble to see with the absence of essence." The last sentence, sounding more like a quote from a poetic author, had felt like he recited it every day in his head. I let out a breath,

"When you say "we" and "you", what exactly are you referring to?" The question, the one the irked me from the start, boiled over all my other confusions inside me. Hotori took a second to test my face, my expression, before speaking.

"Amu…what would you say, if I told you I were an angel?"

Well, that's not hard to believe. I thought, staring back at him. He was very formal and polite, caring and concerned. He left off a lifted feeling of security and warmth, helping me and taking me in when I needed him the most. I guess he resembled an angel in a way, a more 21st century one.

But staring at Hotori and Kukai, watching their truthful expressions just hit me like a bowling ball. My teeth gritted together.

"What…What are you talking about?" They couldn't be serious, right? It had to be some kind of joke. Kukai stepped in.

"Yeah, now about the project…" He rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed for some reason. "It has to do with this whole thing, angel business, you know?" He gave a sheepish smile as my mouth became somewhat of a frown. Hotori took over.

"You believe us, don't you Hinamori-san?" Oh, it was back to the traditional again, huh?

My teeth, clenched together, hurt in a great deal of pain. My hands formed tight fists while my nails dug into my skin and my face was stuck in a pained expression. I released the hold in my mouth.

"You…You honestly think I'm going to believe such SHIT?" I felt a tiny bit bad for swearing at innocent Hotori, but shook it off. "Really, I'm not stupid. And I know some people take me for granted; but for you to make up such an incredible, wicked lie!" I yelled powerfully now, standing up in enraged fury. My body shook, not able to contain the anger any longer. "I have DREAMS more realistic than this crap! SCREW YOU!" I screamed, stomping my way to the door.

"Hinamori? HINAMORI! Please, even if you don't believe us, please still believe in God. Please don't lose faith."

I stopped, turning my head back to Hotori. He seemed hopeful enough.

"I stopped believing in God," I replied, feeling tears forming into my eyes, and quickly blinking them away, momentarily. "The day my boyfriend was MURDERED!" I screeched, and ran out of the house.

I ran and ran on, until my lungs burned and I couldn't find the strength to keep going. I stopped by the corner of a building to throw up, and then collapsed a few feet away. My breathing increased drastically, and I wasn't able to get oxygen to my lungs fast enough. Yet, in each heart pounding second, I was seeing the images again. The memories flooding back of his face, his smile, his eyes. And each second of it, I could feel myself closer to him, than ever before; and greatly glad for it.

They were wrong. All of them; even myself. I constantly lied, saying it was an accident. An incident that no one knew the truth of or understood my pain. Something I surpressed and buried deep enough into myself that I simply forgot or erased. Something I told myself was okay, to move on; because it was his wish. ONLY because it was his wish.

I let out choked sobs, crying on the cold ground and letting some terrors slip free.

It was true I thought believing was seeing, because all I was seeing now was him. And I remembered exactly what happened that night.

That night, even if it was an accident, an unexplained incident, it still didn't excuse the mistake I made.

Everything was gone, and now I faced off the consequences. I was so stupid to believe in happily ever after. Who gives a crap, anyway?

I continued to lie on the floor, staring up into the clouded, gray sky. Flurries of snowflakes swirled around in the wind and dropped on my cheeks, making me feel even more numb than ever before.

And slowly, ever so slightly, I closed up the wound in my chest. Consciously knowing it would never heal, but lay as a scar forever, in the buried truth of horrors.

::~0~::

After many hours of lying useless in the snow, I finally decided it was time to get a grip on myself. I opened my eyes, the muscles tightening in my body before I forced my upper torso up.

Everything was numb on my body. I felt the coldness peel through my coat and jacket, into the fabric of my shirt and ice my skin. It seemed to me that if I had been naked, it wouldn't even have made a difference. I began moving each limb carefully, wondering if this is what frostbite was supposed to be like.

I pulled my legs up now, which felt like heavy cylinders wobbling uselessly with my feet. I stumbled for a moment, realizing the sudden weight felt hard on my body, and re-steadied myself. I tried moving each toe and finger, regaining sensation in each part, before the sensation of ice over took them. I shuddered, my teeth chattering and body shivering in the cold.

I walked into the nearest store, thankful as warm air enveloped me, before my face burned a frozen hot to cool. I stuffed my fingers into my pockets and looked around.

I was back in that sweet smelling candy shop. I found that someone else was working the register today though, and it was more packed than before, considering it was the weekend. I'd probably caught them at their busy hour. I surveyed a few treats, before a face whacked into my own head.

"Ouch!" A feminine voice breathed out. It was oddly familiar as I rubbed my forehead, peeking down at whoever I'd just ran into. A baby face filled my vision.

That same strange girl and her over obsession with candy vigorously rubbed the top of her head, shutting her eyes closed. I took in her rosy, big cheeks and fragile looking skin tone. Her hair wasn't quite as red as I thought, but more of a carrot orange. She soon peeked an eye open, before staring at me in awe.

I felt my face compose into a mask of neutral behavior, before raising an eyebrow dismissively. She gasped and quickly bowed.

"Sorry. I'm just looking for some cookies!" She explained, filled with over excitement. She took in my expression, which hadn't changed much and shrink under my gaze. "I-I didn't MEAN TO!" She yelled on the brink of tears. Her eyes swelled up with water as I sighed, quickly peeking around at the bystanders. They raised their own eyebrows curiously.

"Okay, okay. No need to cry." I tried to calm the girl down, feeling guilty for my cold behavior. She sniffed as the tears still poured out. "Here, um, I'll…by you a candy." I stated slowly, trying to make amends. She eyed me with big, starry eyes before letting a huge smile spread on her face.

"YAY!" She sung into the shop, giving herself a precious look of happiness. I sulked at her happy go lucky phase, and event changing attitudes.

"Right…" I muttered under my breath, sighing again and looking off to the side. Then I turned back to her. "So, what exactly do you want?"

"Um, hmm…" She started, pondering on all the candy. She began to rekindle that familiar overwhelming happiness. "Uh, I…maybe the…" She began flailing her arms. "OH! Let's go look together and pick one out!" She cheered at last, hooking my arm with her own and dragging me off deeper into the shop.

I felt my face flush faintly at all the weird stares we got from other customers. The carrot top didn't even notice at all, sucked into her own world of cuteness and innocence. I tried to look nonchalant and keep composer and dignity of myself, but with this girl, it didn't seem possible.

Still clutching tightly onto my arm, she deliberately pointed to each truffle and bar in the store, asking my opinion on each one. I admitted to her that my sweet tooth wasn't that sweet at all, which she demanded to know why in the first place.

"But, why not! You don't like candy at all?" She screeched, acting as if I had insulted her in some way. I shook my head.

"I just…haven't really been into the whole 'sweet' thing in a while." Considering that most of the people stopping in were couples, I felt very awkward. How I missed it before, was a mystery to me. Maybe thinking about it brought me more aware of my surroundings. "But I'm fine without it. Candy isn't good to have too much of, you know." I confirmed, questioning her own eating habits. She looked up at me, bewildered, before asking another question.

"Does candy make you feel sick?" She asked, and I couldn't speak for a moment. If only she knew how sick I felt with everything…

"You could say that…" I answered, looking off to the side to avoid her gaze. She spoke anyway.

"I just did." She responded and I turned back to her, watching as giggles escaped her lips. She laughed at her own joke, before I smiled and patted her head. Sometimes, her cuteness was too hard to resist.

"Anyway, my name is Yaya! What's yours?"

"Amu." I stated, compelled to return the name. I was glad we hadn't gone into proper last name terms.

"Well, then, Amu-chi. Welcome to my parents candy store!" It took a second for me to process this, before my brow forward.

"Wait, your parents own this place?" I asked as she nodded, her pig tails swinging with the easy motion. "Then why did you want me to buy you candy? Can't you get some for free?" Isn't that how owners allowed people to get free things?

"Because I wanted to spend more time with you." She stared up at me through light lashes innocently, not shy or self-conscious about her truthful statement. I blushed slightly at the blunt sentence before checking the time. We'd been here for more than an hour.

"I have to go." I replied, checking her face again. She grabbed tighter onto my arm, pouting.

"Promise to come back and visit Yaya." She commanded with big, golden brown eyes. I nodded.

"Don't worry. I'm sure I couldn't forget a character like you, Yaya." She smiled, delighted by the fact that I said her name and released her hold on me. Then she waved at over and over, probably even when I was out of her eye range.

::~0~::

"Amu!" Mom gasped when I walked through the door. She wrapped me in a tight embrace before staring down at me. "Where have you been?" She demanded, anger starting to rule over her relief.

"Relax, Mom. I don't plan on raising the suicide rate amongst teens." I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes and walking to the kitchen. She eyed me.

"Well, if your witty enough to make such comments, then you can explain the call I got from the principal about yesterday." I froze in place, half way to the fridge before turning. I'm sure Saaya was able to get her half of the story down.

"What did you hear?" I asked, stalling for time. Mom crossed her arms and glared behind her oval glasses.

"Exactly what I needed to hear. About you ditching school?" She asked and I felt a bit relieved. Maybe she hadn't heard about the Saaya incident after all.

"It was…nothing. Just…" I didn't know what to say. Of course no excuse would check off in Mom's book for ditching school. This was a lose, lose situation.

Mom sighed and took a seat at her desk, back faced toward me. "Okay, Amu. You tell me exactly what happened later. I need to know the whole story. I know you're a good kid and wouldn't do something like this without some explanation." She stated and for a second I believed my Mom was much more understanding than I thought.

Then she turned back to look at me. "By the way, you're grounded from leaving the house for two weeks."

Or maybe not.

I sighed, nodding, knowing this was a fair punishment for leaving school. I quickly walked up the steps, trying to get a good grip on everything that had happened in all day without losing my complete sanity.

I paused at the door, remembering what happened.

That boy was in my room. Was he still there, waiting? Would he try that on me again? More than ever I wanted to walk back downstairs and stay safe beside my mother, but then she would only suspect something was up. And I couldn't bare my mom to be twisted up in this mess.

I took deep breaths, keeping my heart rate as slow as possible. I struggled not to hyperventilate, keeping my eyes on the golden door knob as my trembling hand grasped it, and turned, slowly opening it as it creaked against the pressure.

I checked inside, seeing the darkness of the room, but no creature of figure standing inside. A little braver I fully opened it and took a step inside, before catching movement on my bed.

My eyes widened and in seconds I switched the light on, heart pounding against my chest as my eyes adjusted.

There, lying carelessly on my bed was that black cat, boring its deep set of sun colored eyes into mine.

Shelly: Anyone expecting this chapter to turn out this way? I gotta say, I wasn't even able to see the second half of it unfolding until I actually wrote it down. A big shocker, even to myself!

Thanks again for the wonderful and insightful reviews.

(HOORAY SCREAMERXOXO! XD)

Especially to those with quotes of the chapter to measure to.

And again, if you know ANY info on PUBLISHING A BOOK please spare some details to me. In this economy, its amazing that we've survived this long.

So, till next chapter!

Shelly