A/N: Just to clarify, Jaime sent a letter to Arya from the Vale. It was mentioned in Sansa's chapter and in Jaime's last chapter he hoped to minimise the time Sansa might spend in Lady Stoneheart's company-the reference made to that was meant to indirectly point to the letter he sent. When he sent it he did not know Lady Stoneheart was dead and did not know he would go North so his plans have been rather screwed up.
A lot of the chapter bridges the gap since the last chapter with Sansa and Jaime. There will be more action next time we see them.
Thanks as always for the reviews. Regarding the question about Jon's identity you can expect it to come out in time but not until the characters come in contact with him so it will be a bit longer yet.
Chapter 86; Sansa
She shifted in her bed, trying to cling to sleep. As she woke it took her a little to realise Willow Heddle called her name. Her true name, not the one she had used in the Vale.
I am not Alayne any more, she reminded herself. I am Sansa, Sansa Stark. I am the daughter of Lord Eddard Stark and Lady Catelyn.
Sometimes she did not remember, especially in those first days after Ser Jaime tricked her into leaving the Vale with him. Jeyne Heddle looked at her in astonishment when Ser Jaime told them of her assumption that Rickon might come to harm.
"Why did you think the Lady Brienne might harm your brother?" she asked. "She served your lady mother and she is in service to your sister now."
Sansa made a quick excuse, taking pains to cover her anger. It was better that they think her still to be naïve but she did not like feeling like a piece once again. Exposure to one of the Lannisters had instantly taken her back more than three years, to that frightened girl who barely knew what to do to survive. She forgot her very first lesson.
Everybody wants something. Find out what he wants and you will know who he is and how to move him.
In her worry about her family Sansa forgot to look for what Ser Jaime wanted. Instead of her looking to see what he wanted, she had exposed her own weakness and become a piece once again
I could never be anything other than a piece while in the Vale.
She might have determined what Petyr wanted but he knew her weakness too. He kept her trapped and with the death of Robert Arryn and the threat against her brother and sister she felt her vulnerability keenly. Still she found herself missing the Gates of the Moon when she looked at her surroundings now. She had never felt so dirty and the gown she wore was filthy. Her hair might be returning to its natural auburn but she looked even less like herself.
I was never so hungry in the Vale either.
Jeyne Heddle offered Sansa one of her gowns so that she might change. Sansa held back her frown and thanked the innkeep. The gown was clean even if it was not something she might ever choose to wear. The fit was poor but given Sansa had no alternative she wore it nonetheless. She thought wistfully of the lovely gowns she left behind before shaking her head.
Those were not mine. They belonged to Alayne Stone.
Ser Jaime wished to leave quickly, to begin travelling North but a storm set in and even if the snow had not hindered them the outlaws offered opposition. They did not trust a Lannister and they doubted his intentions. They were not the only ones. Sansa questioned Ser Jaime herself after he told her of the plan to take her to Winterfell.
"May I ask why you are taking me North? Won't the Queen be angry with you?"
Ser Jaime's mouth twisted and he looked rather bitter.
"My sweet sister has bigger problems than you my lady."
He almost spat the word sister and Sansa knew then they must have quarrelled. He still spoke of returning to Cersei but he did not sound happy about it. It was more a grim determination. He spoke to her of Tyrion a little but that was tinged with something else too. It seemed all the Lannisters were at odds with one another. Sansa thought once more of Tyrion and of the rumours of his death.
I should feel relieved. The death of her husband might free her but she did not feel free. I will have to marry again. Sansa did not wish for another marriage solely for her claim. She still remembered why the Lannisters married her to Tyrion. They wanted her claim to Winterfell. Joffrey's death and the suspicion of her involvement put a halt to that but Sansa had not forgotten. Only Rickon stood in the way of her being the heir once more and even if Lady Brienne did not mean to harm him, Sansa knew from Littlefinger that another piece might be moved to play the part.
Littlefinger might have intended him harm too she suddenly remembered. She took a deep breath to quell her panic. He will be busy with the war. Winterfell will not be his concern now.
She made her way down the stairs and into the common room to break her fast. The room fell silent when she entered. She saw Jaime Lannister seated with some of the clansmen. Not far from him was Lord Dayne with his men. The tension in the room remained high. Sansa wondered once again whether she had made the right decision.
Mayhaps I should have let Lord Dayne kill Ser Jaime.
She had not known at the time that Rickon was not in danger from the Lannisters. The young lord looked her way briefly before looking back down at his food. Others amongst his group were not so courteous. Sansa felt their eyes crawling over her but it was no more than what the clansmen did too. She held her head high and moved through the room speaking to the men on her way.
She asked after Shagga's health, knowing that he viewed himself the leader but made certain to give due attention to both those who represented the other clans and those she saw making moves to improve their position. She found it difficult given their savage natures but she had used her courtesies to deal with just as bad in Kings Landing.
They appeared better dressed in their fine doublets and cloaks but underneath they were capable of just as much violence.
Sansa always made certain Ser Jaime remained close at first. She had seen the clansmen kill one another during their quarrels and no matter her lessons it frightened her. With time and after journeying from the Vale with them she became less fearful of them harming her. They offered her a certain respect as Tyrion's wife. She accepted it though it made her feel guilty. She still made certain to distance herself when they settled disputes. She also made certain to be watchful where she slept.
Ser Jaime will not let them touch me.
Sansa knew why he told her and the Heddle sisters to block their door at night. Ser Jaime japed and his charming smile could be cruel but under it she sensed something different. She looked at his stained kingsguard cloak and thought of Tyrion and Joffrey and of the kingsguard knights she knew. Ser Jaime seemed more noble in his treatment of her than Ser Meryn or others who beat her on Joffrey's orders.
He appears to behave as a knight even though he is a Lannister.
Lord Dayne spoke just as chivalrously. Sansa felt confused by the both of them but she took pains not to show it. Ned Dayne was an outlaw and she heard the tales of them. Jaime Lannister was Cersei's twin, the kingslayer who had no honour. For all that he spoke insistently about the vow he made to her mother.
He says he means to see me safely to Winterfell.
It was everything she dearly wanted but she did not trust it to be true. She moved on from speaking to the clansmen and took a seat beside Jeyne. The innkeep was sitting with the outlaws but Sansa knew her choice of seating would not be questioned merely because she sat with another woman. It gave her a chance to begin observing the outlaws as she had with the clansmen.
Everybody called Lord Dayne Ned and he did little to correct them. Hearing that name hurt but it was a sweet hurt. She listened to them speak to one another. Sansa expected them to lack honour, to have no laws. She expected them to be violent as well. Instead she saw that they looked to Lord Dayne as their leader and none challenged him.
He speaks gently but he speaks as father once did.
Sansa remembered the loyalty her father had from his men. This seemed the same. From all she heard of them she thought the outlaws to be killers, much like the Hound. They appeared rather different. The rumours reached her while in the Vale that the Hound had joined them and she was not certain what she thought of that.
That night, before she went to bed, she spoke of the Hound to the Heddle sisters. They looked offended.
"He would not be welcome," Willow said scornfully. "Lord Beric gave him a trial once. He won his freedom but they would not spare him a second time, not after he took your sister."
Sansa could not cover her shock. She listened to them speak of Arya, of her time with the outlaws and their hope to ransom her to Robb and of the Hound capturing her and taking her away. The sisters spoke of meeting Arya in hushed tones, telling of a woman who did not resemble the girl from the stories the Brotherhood told. Sansa pressed them for information and they gave it but only up to a point.
"She did not seem like a queen," Jeyne offered in a quiet voice, ignoring Willow's glare. "She and the prince both seemed kind. He gave us food and she spoke gently to the children. I never thought she might-"
Sansa never got to hear what Jeyne intended to say. Willow silenced her sister.
"She isn't the girl they knew anymore. None of us are."
Sansa had to agree as she burrowed down under the furs. I am not the girl I once was either. She lay awake for some time thinking of Arya. She still imagined her sister as the same but of course she wasn't. Arya was a woman now. She had been somewhere for years, eluding the Lannisters. Sansa might have envied her if not for the stories she now began to hear.
They kept her captive in Harrenhal. She was captured by outlaws. The Hound captured her.
She remembered the Hound telling her he would have a song from her and closed her eyes tightly. He protected me. He did not mean it. She remembered the kiss and the cloak he left her. If he protected me he would not have hurt Arya. She kept telling herself the same over and over until sleep finally came.
The snow continued to fall heavily and Sansa began to wonder whether Harry and his men might catch them. She then realised the snow might hinder the men of the Vale even more. She thought of Winterfell and of the godswood there. It will not be cold there. The hot springs would melt the snow. She knew now she did not want Harry or Petyr to find her even though the thought of the war fought because of her made her feel ill.
I want to go home. I will be strongest within the walls of Winterfell.
She clung to what Ser Jaime said. The war might have happened regardless. She had other things to feel guilty over. Robert Arryn's death was one. Petyr insisted on the sweetmilk, it was not me. She tried to push it from her mind. That was something Alayne did, not Sansa.
The outlaws struggled through the snow to bring them food, meagre as the offerings were. Sansa took what they offered with increasing gratitude. The sisters spoke of the outlaws as their protectors and she began to see why when the orphaned children watched for them and the offerings they brought. It made Sansa think again of her choices.
Ser Jaime remained close to her but she found her chances to speak to Ned Dayne. He spoke shyly to her at first. She feared what it meant but Willow only laughed when she remarked on it.
"That is just Ned. He never forgets his courtesies. Give him time and he will be warmer."
Sansa feared she did not have time. Ser Jaime spoke often of leaving and he began to view her suspiciously.
"I am not Ned Dayne my lady," he informed her with one of his smiles. "I can see beyond your courtesies and I see what you are doing. I might have done the same but he is unlikely to heed my charms."
Sansa blushed at his insinuation. He thinks of me as he does his sister. She remembered what Cersei told her during the battle. Tears are not a woman's only weapon. That would do no good with Lord Edric. Sansa already knew that of the man even if she had been prepared to try that tactic.
Women are not his weakness. His honour is his weakness as with father.
The prospect of using him gave her no joy but she did not intend to remain Jaime Lannister's captive. Ned Dayne never went far and he watched the clansmen carefully. It took little for her to find herself in his presence once more, this time when one of the fairly regular fights broke out between the clans. He looked alarmed when the axes were brought out and Sansa felt startled when he shielded her and began to draw his sword. She took hold of his arm to try to stop him. He turned to her and he looked solemn.
"I will let no harm come to you my lady."
Sansa wanted to tell him that if he drew the sword it would likely be him at risk but Ser Jaime saved her the trouble.
"You will not need your sword Lord Edric," he said cheerfully. "All the axes will be put away now that the argument is settled."
Sansa stepped out from behind Ned and was not surprised to see a man bleeding on the floor. She heard Ser Jaime telling them to take him outside. When she looked at Ned Dayne his expression was utter disapproval.
"I must thank you my lord," she said.
It took him a moment to give her his attention. He looked at her full of concern.
"These are no fit companions for you my lady," he said softly. "You do not belong amongst men who take such joy in killing."
Sansa recalled the Hound's words to her and knew that she had been amongst such people long before meeting the clansmen. That was not what Ned Dayne needed to hear right now. She lowered her eyes.
"They are most fearsome my lord. I-I do worry."
It was not a lie, not completely. If I dared it I might use them to my own purposes. She had never done so before but she knew enough of them to know how they might be motivated. She dared not take the risk. She had watched and learned from Littlefinger but to do such a thing herself... I am not him. She did think the clansmen fearsome warriors and they did worry her with their unpredictability.
Ned Dayne knelt before her and took hold of her hand.
"You must not stay with them my lady," he said earnestly.
Sansa felt a surge of guilt looking down into his face. It was a kind and handsome face and the young lord was honest. She glanced across the common room and saw Pod gaping at her. He was meant to be with Ser Jaime. It mattered little. Sansa knew what she must do.
"I must go North my lord," she told Ned. "Even if they are not suitable companions, they will not be parted from my company before I arrive at Winterfell." She swallowed before saying the next words and averted her gaze from him. "I feel safe with you my lord. I will be sorry to leave your protection."
His grip on her hand tightened a little and she looked at him once more.
"We will come with you if you wish it."
She could almost see Petyr's gleeful reaction but Sansa did not feel proud. This is the second time I have tricked him. Ned rose and let go of her hand. He pushed his pale blond hair out of his eyes. He has purple eyes, like the Targaryens. Sansa waited patiently for him to go on.
"Please think on it my lady," he urged her. "We are more honourable than we might seem."
Sansa already knew and she did not need to think on it.
"I would be most grateful my lord," she told him truthfully. "You are so very kind."
Ser Jaime was far less than grateful when he heard the news. She saw him shoot her a look which looked part admiration and part frustration. He sat beside her at dinner and murmured in her ear.
"Well played good sister. One might mistake you for a Lannister after all."
Sansa held her tongue but inside she seethed. I never wanted to be a Lannister. When she gave her love to Joffrey she had no idea what it truly meant. She listened to Ser Jaime and Ned Dayne speaking and quickly calmed herself. Ned spoke of honour and duty. He showed no joy at the prospect of killing. Sansa had not seen anybody show such restraint and speak with such certainty, not in all her time in Kings Landing when she still believed in the knights from the songs and certainly not since.
Life is not a song.
Ser Jaime spoke of Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning. Sansa listened to him talk of the man to Ned. In listening she finally realised what it was that Ser Jaime wanted, what it was that motivated him in his claimed quest to return her to safety.
He wants to be like Arthur Dayne.
The idea was enough for her to have to stifle mad laughter. It did not matter how bitterly Jaime Lannister spoke, how much he tried and failed to goad Ned Dayne, his secret was plain to see once she truly looked. What he wanted was completely and utterly unattainable. Ser Arthur Dayne was a knight of songs, of bravery and honour where everywhere Ser Jaime went his dishonour followed.
This is why he wants to fulfil the oath to my mother.
Sansa might have pitied him if he weren't a Lannister. Even worse for Ser Jaime, his wish for a last act of honour in the eyes of the realm was going to be stolen from him. Sansa had stolen it the moment she told Ned Dayne she was afraid. She stole it when she orchestrated for Ned to offer to go North with her. She saw Ser Jaime tense when Ned spoke of the journey North.
"Our work began on Lord Stark's orders. It seems fitting we keep his daughter safe."
Sansa had begun to adjust to hearing people speak of her father as something other than a traitor. The lords spoke highly of him in the Vale and the outlaws were no different. After all the time training herself to speak of him as a traitor the idea of being able to defend him was enough to make her want to weep.
I know now why he did what he did.
She hated the Lannisters more when she discovered the truth. Joffrey was never a true king. Ser Jaime did not speak well of him. He was rather blunt and Sansa did wish he would not speak of it. He thought both her and Tyrion were responsible and Sansa worried about telling him the truth. Her time came that night when he walked with her up the stairs to her room. She noted that he appeared far more beautiful now that he had bathed, changed and shaved. His words however were not beautiful.
"You have learned well my lady," he told her. "You rather remind me of Cersei."
Sansa stiffened. "Lord Edric was merely being kind Ser, I do not know what you mean."
Ser Jaime laughed. "Yes, he is a Dayne. They are as prickly about their honour as the Starks once were." He eyed her in a way that made her uncomfortable. His green eyes seemed to hold secrets and she felt as though she were being inspected. "You are more like your lady mother than your father though and I do not mean your look."
Sansa felt her confusion growing. "My lady mother was most brave Ser." She knew it to be true but she sensed that he meant something else.
"Oh yes," he smirked. "Let us not forget the brave and honourable Tullys. Family, duty, honour, they say yet they are quite capable of brutal vengeance when wronged."
Sansa did not know how her mother fit into this but she knew why he looked at her in such a way. She did not wish for Joffrey's death to be attributed in any way to her mother's House.
"I did not kill Joffrey Ser," she told him quietly. "Tyrion and I knew nothing of the plan."
Jaime Lannister paled. It took him the briefest of moments to recover.
"This would be Littlefinger."
Sansa did not know why she tried to spare Petyr but the words spilled from her lips nonetheless.
"Lady Olenna did not wish for Margaery to be married to Joffrey. She thought Tommen to be a better king."
Ser Jaime paused at her door. A smile appeared frozen on his face.
"Tommen might have been a better king had he lived."
Before Sansa could reply Jaime Lannister was gone. She entered the room and found Willow Heddle waiting for her. The young woman looked angry.
"Is something the matter?" Sansa asked.
Willow glared at her. "We need them here."
She means the outlaws. When they travel North she will be left alone with the orphans.
"They will return," Sansa replied. "You will still have some men remaining here."
"Not the good ones," Willow said stubbornly.
Sansa knew who she meant. She pictured Ned Dayne kneeling before her. He is the best of them. She lifted her chin a little.
"I will have my brother send you men once I return to Winterfell. Mayhaps we might send a raven to my sister."
Willow's anger did not abate. "We don't have ravens here," she retorted. "The queen is fighting her war with the prince. She won't care for ravens right now."
Sansa had spoken about it with them before but they told her little. She pressed to find out more but information travelled so slowly.
"He will be king soon if he isn't already," Willow offered. "People don't pass through in winter as they used to so we don't know much."
Sansa knew what that meant. Cersei will meet her end and Ser Jaime will not have the gold he promised the clansmen. While she felt pleased about Cersei, it surprised her that she felt a twinge of sympathy for Ser Jaime. Jeyne joined them and Sansa listened to them speak of Arya and the prince once more. She hesitated just a moment before making a request.
"If Arya comes this way will you tell her of me?"
Willow gave her a look Sansa might have expected from Arya.
"Why?" she asked. "Do you not want us to?"
Sansa smoothed the skirt of her threadbare gown.
"I would wish for her to know everything," she said quietly. "I would wish for her to know all that you have seen and heard."
Willow still viewed her suspiciously but Jeyne nodded solemnly.
"We will do that m'lady."
Sansa might have arranged for her passage North to be a little safer but she now thought wistfully of her family. I will see Rickon soon. She wondered what he looked like now and if he remembered her at all. Arya concerned her more though. The things Sansa heard worried her about what her sister was now like. What will she say when she sees me? They had so much to speak of but they had not been close. We are still so different. She did not quite know what she might say when they met.
It was still some days before the weather cleared enough for them to leave. Ser Jaime tried to hide it but Sansa saw his agitation. He wanted to travel quickly. They might have left sooner if they had more horses. The need to travel by foot meant waiting for the snow to lessen. It finally did and Sansa made certain to dress as warmly as possible.
She accepted the hard bread from Jeyne to break her fast. Her tummy felt all unsettled with nerves at the prospect of moving from the inn. It did not feel like a homely place, in truth Sansa found it rather unpleasant but she had not forgotten the journey from the Vale. The inn offered shelter and it would be some time before she had it again.
Ser Jaime and Podrick lingered near her. Ser Jaime barked orders and the clansmen slowly did as was asked. Sansa braced herself for a day of difficulty and Pod stammering and struggling on their shared horse. When she stepped out the door of the inn she was greeted by the outlaws. Anguy held the reins of two horses and there were more tethered in the yard. Ned Dayne gestured to her and Sansa walked towards him.
"We have a horse for you my lady," he said politely.
Sansa ignored the remark from Ser Jaime behind her and stepped cautiously towards the horse Anguy pointed to. She was not cautious enough and her foot slipped on the ice. A hand gripped her arm and she realised Ned had caught her.
"Take care my lady, the ground is quite slippery."
Sansa felt tears trying to sting her eyes. He kept hold of her arm and guided her to the horse, helping her up into the saddle.
"You are very kind my lord."
Ned looked embarrassed. "Lord Beric promised to deliver your sister to safety. He... that is, we... failed her in that. I hope to make amends."
Sansa had to bite the inside of her mouth to control her expression. She blinked to get rid of the water in her eyes.
"I am most grateful. I am certain my brother will make you quite welcome at Winterfell."
He nodded stiffly and Sansa studied him again. The outlaws expected a ransom for delivering Arya to Robb. It seemed they wished for no reward now but Sansa had not known anybody to do anything purely out of kindness any more. It was another of Petyr's lessons. They will have their reward. She did not feel certain Arya or Rickon might pay. After all Arya was away at war and Rickon might not remember her.
They will pay she decided. Sansa would make certain of it.
Ned made a few adjustments to the saddle before mounting his own horse. Anguy began to sing and tell japes. Ser Jaime soon joined her looking a mix of amusement and annoyance.
"Did your outlaw lord shower you with enough gallantry my lady?"
Sansa nodded warily. "Lord Dayne was very courteous."
Anguy overheard them and grinned. "That's Ned. More chivalry than sense he has."
Jaime laughed at that but Sansa did not answer. The clansmen were arguing again and Ser Jaime left her to join Pod and urge them to get ready to leave. Anguy gestured in their direction.
"I told Ned if we just picked them off when we got here we would have an easier time of it but he still wants to do things Beric's way."
Sansa's curiosity got the better of her. "What was Lord Beric truly like?" She remembered Jeyne Poole thinking she was in love with him during the Hand's Tourney but that seemed a lifetime ago.
Anguy's expression darkened. "He was brave and just and too good for this world."
Sansa glanced over at Ned Dayne and worried. The young lord seemed determined to model himself on the Lightning Lord. She had learned something from her father's death and the time since.
Those who try to do good die in the attempt. As they set out on their way along the Kingsroad headed North the thought continued to worry her. I pray he does not meet the same fate.