Lies & Loss

"My heart has joined the Thousand for my love has stopped running today."

Thyme stared out in front of her as she said the prayer from atop the outcropped rock. Every rabbit in Efrafa sat silently, heads bowed low, as they murmured their own prayers in respect of their Chief. Vervain sat with his sisters close to the rock. Phyla was shivering and crying and Vervain pressed closer to her, hoping to provide some comfort. On her other side Nashia did the same, though Vervain knew there was little comfort to give now. His own heart felt broken, his chest hollow. His father was gone. He was really gone. We'll be back before you know it. Liar. Tears were threatening to spill but he vigorously blinked them away. His mother was about to descend from the rock when someone asked her what exactly had happened to their Chief. She hadn't given any details and the rest of the raiding party had been back before her. For a brief moment there had been joy at the flayrah they had brought back. Now it just lay discarded in a pile somewhere.

Thyme stared down at the Efrafan who had posed the question. Then she raised her head and looked over them, her gaze focused on a far-off point as she spoke.

"After Basil and I got separated from the rest of the party, we were attacked by a fox." There was a pause and Vervain felt for his mother who was being forced to relive such a horrible memory. He kept his gaze on her, listening intently. "It caught us unaware. There was no place to hide and so..." There was a slight pause, so brief it was easy to miss. Thyme's eyes glistened and for a second Vervain thought they were tears but when he blinked it was gone. "We fought it together."

Vervain frowned. Something felt off, something about the way she spoke, forced or tight with grief maybe? No, it was something else. It sounded... rehearsed. She's lying. Vervain realized with a jolt. His mother was lying, but why? What had really happened then? What part was true and what wasn't? Thyme continued on and Vervain listened again.

"...refused but he insisted. The fox had caught up with us again and just as I wanted to renew our attack, Basil pushed me in the river and attacked the fox alone. I... I saw him die and... swam back to the other shore. It was too late for Basil so I came back to Efrafa." A complete silence followed her story. Vervain's mind was whirling. She was lying, she was lying, but about what? And why? He regarded her closely, noted the patches of wet fur (so she had been swimming), how ruffled the rest seemed and the scratches on her flank. The scratches... they were too shallow, too few. Vervain knew nothing of combat but he wasn't dumb. A fox would have done much worse to her. She didn't look one bit like a rabbit who had just come from a fight with a fox, or any other fight for that matter, no, she looked more like a rabbit that had run through the undergrowth for dear life.

She had run away. Vervain's eyes widened at the realization. His mother had abandoned her mate to a fox and run away.

"We went on this raid to give hope to Efrafa. Let us honour Basil by not falling into despair." Thyme concluded and hopped down the rock. She hopped over to them and touched each of them on their heads with her nose. "My precious children..." She murmured and Vervain didn't think they were supposed to hear her. Phyla was still sobbing, though much more softer.

"Father was brave." Nashia said, her voice steady. Vervain was impressed by her composure. He didn't trust his voice enough to speak. Grief over the loss of his father and confusion about his mother's lies swirled inside his head. Thyme looked at her. "Yes, yes he was. The bravest rabbit I ever knew and ever will know."

Vervain saw it in her eyes then. Whatever had happened, whatever lies she had told, the pain in her eyes was real. And so Vervain simply pressed himself against her, hoping to ease some her pain and to have some of his own numbed in return.

The plan to give back some hope to Efrafa with a raid had, despite the tragic loss of their Chief, worked. Every rabbit in Efrafa enjoyed a piece of flayrah (Vervain had gotten his carrot and though it was the most bitter-sweet one he'd ever eaten he appreciated it more than any other) and all of them were determined to honour their Chief's will. Thyme acted as the only Chief and though Vervain knew she was grieving, she never showed it. One night, not too long after Basil had stopped running, Vervain woke in the middle of the night to voices. A sense of deja-vu settled over him as he remembered the night before the raid when he'd heard his parents talk. He understood now who the one calling his father had been. Vervain had hoped it would ease his sorrow but it didn't. This time though the voice he heard was that of the Captain. He remained still. There was no need to move for the Captain was in their burrow and his mother was still where she'd been when they went to sleep.

"Thyme, we need to talk."

"Captain, it is in the middle of the night. This is neither the time nor the place." Her voice betrayed nothing. If anything, it sounded slightly annoyed.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

Thyme sighed, "I swear if you ask me that one more time..."

"I will ask as often as needed." The Captain replied a bit more forcefully now.

"You're overstepping your boundaries, Captain."

The Captain sighed before speaking again, much softer and gentler than Vervain had ever heard him, "Thyme, he was my Chief, my best friend, I understand. I grief for him too. I miss him too." When Thyme didn't answer he carried on, "It's okay to cry. It's okay to miss him."

"Cry?" She snorted, "It's pointless to cry. It won't bring him back so I choose to hold strong as he would've wanted me to." There was a pause and Vervain suddenly felt her give him a small lick over his head. He had to struggle not to squeak in surprise. "I have to be their strength now."

"You don't have to do it alone." The Captain answered at length. "The whole of Efrafa is with you. Just remember that."

"Of course. Thank you, Captain."

Vervain could hear the Captain hopping away. Thyme nuzzled his head once more and murmured, "Even if I have to do it alone, no matter what the cost, I will protect you three, my blessing from Frith..."

Good thing Vervain is such a light sleeper or he'd miss all this plot-relevant dialogue.

Thanks for reading so far and I hope you're enjoying it!